Chapter XXXI - Difficult Restraint
The confession lingered between them long after the kiss ended.
“This marriage is becoming difficult for this prince.”
Shen Li remained breathless within Prince Rui’s arms while thunder softened gradually outside the chamber windows.
His forehead still rested lightly against hers.
Warm. Close. Dangerously intimate.
And somehow—
those words affected her more than the kiss itself.
Because Prince Rui sounded almost troubled by how deeply he wanted her.
Not entitled. Not demanding.
Only struggling.
As though restraint itself had become painful.
Shen Li’s fingers remained twisted lightly within his robes while her heartbeat refused to calm.
Then softly:
“…Difficult?”
Prince Rui opened his eyes slowly.
The darkness inside them had not faded yet.
If anything— her question made it worse.
His hand against her waist tightened slightly before easing again deliberately.
Control.
Always control.
Prince Rui looked at her quietly for several dangerous seconds.
Then answered honestly:
“This prince originally intended to give you time.”
The warmth in her chest softened immediately.
Of course he did.
Even now— even after marriage— even after tonight—
his first instinct remained protecting her comfort.
Prince Rui continued in the same roughened voice:
“But recently…”
“You make patience difficult.”
The atmosphere exploded again.
Shen Li genuinely forgot how to breathe.
Dangerous man.
Impossible man.
Prince Rui watched the faint flush spreading across her face silently.
Then suddenly his expression softened.
Because despite saying such devastating things—
Shen Li still looked at him without fear.
Only nervousness. Warmth. Something gentler.
The realization affected him dangerously.
Prince Rui lowered one hand slowly from her waist.
Then brushed his thumb lightly beneath her eye.
“So easily embarrassed.”
Shen Li looked away immediately. “Your Highness says shameless things too naturally.”
Prince Rui actually looked thoughtful. “Is wanting one’s wife shameless?”
The straightforward question nearly destroyed her remaining composure entirely.
Before she could answer, Prince Rui’s gaze lingered across her face quietly.
Then he said softly:
“You still haven’t answered this prince properly.”
“…Answered what?”
“When you said you might want things too.”
The silence afterward became unbearable.
Because Prince Rui’s voice now sounded lower. More dangerous. Less restrained.
Shen Li’s pulse quickened instantly.
She should not continue this conversation.
She absolutely should not.
Yet somehow—
inside this warm storm-lit chamber, inside his arms, beneath the impossible tenderness with which he treated her—
honesty became easier.
So Shen Li lowered her gaze slightly.
Then admitted quietly:
“I like when Your Highness returns safely.”
“I like hearing your footsteps outside the courtyard.”
“And…”
“I dislike when you ignore your injuries.”
Each sentence softened Prince Rui’s expression further.
By the final one—
something inside his eyes had changed completely.
Warm now. Deeply warm.
Shen Li continued very softly:
“This daughter also…”
“…likes when Your Highness looks at me.”
The room fell silent.
Prince Rui stared at her.
Truly stared.
As though hearing something precious enough to stop breathing for.
Then suddenly—
he laughed quietly against her forehead.
Not teasing.
Relieved.
The sound touched something painfully tender inside her chest.
Prince Rui closed his eyes briefly once before speaking:
“Shen Li.”
“Do you know how dangerous it is for this prince when you speak like this?”
Her heartbeat softened.
Because somehow— he still sounded more overwhelmed than she felt.
Then Prince Rui lifted his head slightly.
Enough to look directly into her eyes again.
The storm outside had weakened now, leaving only soft snowfall against the windows.
Inside the dim chamber, candlelight flickered gold across Prince Rui’s face while he watched her with terrifying focus.
Then slowly— very carefully—
he loosened his hold around her waist.
Giving her room again.
Choice again.
Even now.
Prince Rui’s voice lowered.
“If this prince continues holding you tonight…”
“I may truly stop behaving properly.”
The honesty in the warning made her chest ache unexpectedly.
Because he was trying so hard for her.
Shen Li looked at him quietly for one long moment.
Then suddenly realized something important.
Prince Rui always stopped first. Always restrained himself first. Always worried about frightening her first.
Yet no one seemed to realize—
she wanted him close too.
The realization made warmth spread softly through her chest.
Then Shen Li did something reckless again.
She moved closer herself.
Only slightly.
Enough that her forehead pressed gently against his shoulder afterward.
Prince Rui froze instantly.
Completely.
The room became silent enough to hear snowfall.
Shen Li’s voice came muffled softly against his robes:
“Then Your Highness can continue trying tomorrow.”
Silence.
Then Prince Rui’s breathing roughened sharply.
Because that sounded far too much like invitation.
Shen Li realized too late what she accidentally implied.
Before she could recover—
Prince Rui suddenly wrapped both arms around her tightly.
Not improper.
Not forceful.
Just… tight.
As though he needed a moment to survive her words properly.
His voice sounded dangerously strained near her hair.
“This princess consort truly intends to kill this prince eventually.”
And for the first time since entering Prince Rui’s estate—
Shen Li laughed openly against his chest.