Chapter 19 #2
I huffed, but still, his frank words sent electricity skittering up my core.
“I haven’t been thinking about fucking you, for the record,” he said.
At my dropped jaw, he tugged me toward him again, fingers hooked into my waistband.
“Because I couldn't function when I did,” he whispered.
“All I could think about”--he nipped my jaw with his teeth--"was tasting you.
" His lips went down below the slouched neck of my sweater, tongue swiping the top of my breast. Then he straightened up. “Plus, I was pretty sure you hated me.”
My heart felt squeezed, like it couldn’t get enough oxygen. “I do hate you,” I whispered. “I hate everything about you.”
Mitchell’s hands slid behind my neck, his fingers slipping into my hair and cupping my crown. “Still?”
This time, the way he held my hair wasn't like the way he did it in his kitchen. It wasn't demanding. It was gentle, but urgent. Like he needed to know what I'd say.
Once again, my throat felt like a lump had settled in it. I swallowed it down, but it refused to disappear. I shook my head. No.
“Winona.” Mitchell’s jaw popped. “If you’re sure, absolutely sure you want to sleep with me right now, then say it.”
It was a warning. His eyes were on mine, and for a moment, I was scared. Not for my safety. But for my well-being. My sanity. My absolutely absent sense of self-preservation. I knew, beyond a doubt, that I’d only asked him to come home with me because I was more turned on than I’d been in my life.
But I also knew that wasn’t something I did, and especially not with men like Mitchell. I wished with all my being I could, but I got too emotional, too quickly.
And Mitchell knew it. It was why he was being so fucking obstinate.
“I’m not sure,” I whispered, still not wanting to admit he knew me better than I knew myself. I hated him for that. "It's just... sometimes, when I’m around you, I feel weak. Like a little bunny staring down the big bad wolf.”
“A bunny?” His grin was disarming. Devilish.
“Shut up,” I said. But it had no bite. Of course, I still wanted him.
"I love it," I said, the words barely more than a breath.
I wanted him so badly, I’d do anything. I’d make a fool of myself.
Then I closed my eyes, wincing, as I realized I already had. “They all know,” I whispered. “We were so obvious. They’re probably talking about us right now.” I groaned, pressing the heels of my palms against my forehead, renewed shame a tight band around my guts.
“Hey,” Mitchell said, grasping my wrists and pulling my hands gently down. “Winona. It’s okay. You’re an adult.”
“Not this kind of adult.”
“Apparently that’s not true.”
I gritted my teeth at the smile in his voice. “I have to go inside now before I humiliate myself further.”
His lips twitched.
Anger spiked through my veins again. “You’re out here too, you know. You dropped wine off the balcony!”
“Oh, Firecracker. I’m not embarrassed. I’m a fucking peacock right now.”
“What?”
He folded his arms. “The softest, toughest, sexiest woman in the world just let me kiss her. I’d scream that from the rooftops. I will. Right now.”
He opened his mouth, and I knew, without a doubt, that he would. I slammed my hand over his mouth. “Jaysus, Mitchell!”
I felt his grin under my hand. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close. “You’re incorrigible,” I whispered.
“You’re a dream.”
My stomach did an entire roll inside of me. I had nothing to say to that. So I kissed him. And this time, a wave of a more subdued, but somehow more precious energy surged through me. His fingers on my scalp felt like they were imbued with magic. Like between us, there was stardust.
When I finally broke the kiss, Mitchell took my hand.
It was so different than the other two times he’d done that tonight.
This time, those same rockets shot from every nerve ending.
But I didn’t want him to let me go. I felt safe in his grasp.
Perfect. And when he released me inside, giving me time to come back to the room first while he grabbed another bottle of wine from his car, I felt almost lost at sea.
It was, of course, still mildly humiliating stepping back into the room with the others. I could see the curiosity on their faces. But no one said anything. Not even Cher, who just beamed at me.
Mitchell and I were careful to stick to opposite sides of the room for the rest of the night, until it came time to go.
David appeared at the door for Cher and me.
He’d been out with a teacher friend, and their babysitter—the same lovely retiree who’d looked after Ryan and Calvin—lived only a couple blocks from me.
But as I said my goodbyes and moved to go with my friend and her husband, Mitchell spoke up.
“I’ll take Winona home.”
The room went silent. I could have melted into the floorboards. But also… had he changed his mind?
Was I really going to take him home? I swallowed, my mouth dry. I felt like my bluff had been called.
Cher, bless her this time, clapped her hands. “Perfect. It was squished coming over here anyway—sorry about the tools, Win.”
She’d had no tools in her backseat. David frowned as if to say something, but Cher gave him a sharp, wide-eyed look.
He snapped his mouth shut. “Right.”
The same thing had happened only a few minutes earlier when David’s jaw had dropped seeing Mitchell in Blake and Cassandra’s living room.
“Oh my God. I talk to my students about you all the time. They only ever want to know about the video game division, of course, but R everyone else knew what was going on, and Cher would obviously be filling him in on the ride home. I appreciated it nonetheless.
We said our goodbyes, Cassandra winking at me and Blake looking embarrassed as he gave me a back-patting hug. Sarah whispered, “You good?” to which I nodded. Then I was suddenly outside, hand in Mitchell’s, my heart beating so hard I felt like it was echoing down the empty street.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked, unable to keep the nerves from my voice as I slipped into the smooth leather seats of Mitchell’s car. I fumbled with the seatbelt, my hands refusing to keep steady.
“I didn’t.” Mitchell leaned over. His hand slid over mine and clicked the belt into place. “I just needed to look at you a while longer.”