Chapter 24 - Abe
"What’s this about? What did I do to make you so angry and hurt, Abe?" Pippa asked softly, her eyes flashing with confusion. She leaned toward me, her mouth pursed with frustration.
"You want to know why I'm mad?" I growled, my voice raw and unguarded. "Because you suggested I didn't have to be involved with our child. Like it was a fucking option."
The words hung in the air between us, heavy and charged. I watched as shock rippled across Pippa's face, her perfectly arched eyebrows shooting up. Fuck. I hated seeing her upset. But the words I needed to say were all looped up in my head, unable to be deciphered.
“I just thought, when you said you didn’t know anything about being a father—” she started.
“You never let me finish talking!” I cut her off with a bellow. Shock crossed her face as she leaned back against the bed, waiting for me to finish.
Something came over me. That same anger, that same hurt when she said I was free to do what I wanted. On impulse, I stepped off the bed and stood before her, my eyes glued to hers.
How could I explain that her casual suggestion about our child had shaken me to my core? That the thought of not being involved in our baby's life terrified me more than any enemy I'd faced?
Well, I had to try.
I forced myself to speak calmly. “Yes, it’s true. I don't know the first thing about being a father. But god damn it, I’m going to try fucking hard to be the best father to our baby.”
Pippa's eyes widened and she sat up straighter, surprise flickering across her eyes. She blinked and took a shaky breath before speaking softly. “Is that why you were so angry? Because I thought you didn’t want this burden?”
I shook my head, feeling a mix of frustration and love swelling inside me. "A burden? You think having a family with you is a burden?”
“Abe, I—”
"No, let me finish," I cut her off again, gazing at her intensely. "I'm terrified. But the thought of you doing this alone… it doesn't sit right with me."
Her breath caught in her throat. "What are you saying?"
I paced the length of the room, trying to make sense of the jumbled thoughts inside me. "I'm saying I don't want you to handle this alone. I’m saying I’m sad you felt you couldn’t tell me immediately. I’m hurt you thought I wouldn’t want to be a part of this. I'm saying… fuck, I don't know what I'm saying."
She watched me and my heart hammered against my ribs. I felt utterly lost. This was as out of my element as I’ve ever been.
"We don't have to figure everything out right now," she offered softly.
I stopped abruptly, spinning to face Pippa. "No, we don't. But I need you to know that I'm not walking away from this. From you. Pippa, don't you understand? I want this, us, together. I love you, Pippa. Don’t you understand? I fucking love you.”
The words came out as naturally as water flowing down a stream, and they felt right . Yet still, the admission felt like jumping off a cliff, exhilarating and terrifying all at once. After all, I’d never said those three words before.
I held my breath, watching Pippa's reaction intently.
Her eyes widened, and I saw her breath catch. Good. She needed to understand the gravity of this moment. Her hand drifted to her stomach, still flat beneath her blouse, and I felt a surge of protectiveness so strong it nearly knocked me off my feet.
"I didn't realize," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
For a moment, my heart stopped, fear gripping me. Had I misread everything?
But then, slowly, a smile spread across her face. It was soft, tentative, but unmistakably there. Her hand, which had been resting on her stomach, reached out toward me and I sat on the edge of the bed, taking it into my own.
"Abe," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I… I never thought…"
I watched as joy bloomed across her features, her smile growing wider. My own heart swelled in response, a warmth spreading through my chest that I'd never experienced before.
"You love me?" Pippa asked, her voice wondrously full of joy.
I nodded, unable to look away from her radiant face. "Yeah, I do. God help me, but I do."
"Abe," she said, her voice steady despite the emotion I could see swirling in her eyes. "I love you too. God help me, but I do."
For a moment, I couldn't breathe. “You…You do?” I asked, still in disbelief.
“Yes, you big oaf. Of course I love you.”
The words I'd longed to hear, yet never dared to hope for, hung in the air between us. I laughed with delight and reached out, cupping her face in my hands. My calloused fingers brushed against her soft skin, and I marveled at the contrast. How could someone so gentle, so pure, love someone like me?
How could I have been such a fool as to not have said it earlier? How could I not have realized I’ve been in love with this maddening woman for so damn long, but not known it?
“I love you, Pippa,” I said again, my voice gruff from all the emotions roaring through me. “I was a fool to not have told you earlier. A fool to have let you walk away. Please, forgive me for not knowing how to find the words to express the only truth I know.”
Tears welled up in Pippa's eyes as she gazed back at me, her expression filled with love and understanding. She reached up, cupping my cheek with her hand, her touch grounding me in a way I never thought possible.
"There's nothing to forgive, Abe," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "You found the words when it truly mattered. And right now… right now is all that matters."
Her words washed over me like a soothing balm, easing the turmoil in my heart. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against hers, watching those beautiful lashes flutter against her cute, sweet cheeks. She sighed and took my hand, placing it on her stomach.
And in that moment, my entire life felt as though this was what it was always meant to lead up to.