Chapter 19 —Ravyn
It had been two days since the dinner with his family—two days since the fight that almost led to something sensual. The argument that night stemmed from Levi’s insecurity and jealousy.
I was so offended by his anger that I couldn’t see the reason. Well, until he drew too close, of course. It was only after he pinned me to the wall that I realized what the fuss was all about.
Within seconds, his jealousy and anger switched to lust and desire. He tried to mask it, but I saw right through him—read him like an open book for the very first time.
I saw the hunger in his eyes that night; it was raw and primal. For a second there, I actually braced myself, thinking that was the moment he’d take me—claim my body as his own.
The signs of his arousal were all over the place: his uneven breaths, the lust sparkling behind his eyes, and the length of his erection. Yes, I felt it. I felt his boner graze against my thighs when he leaned in to mirror my face.
The air was thick with sexual tension, and I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I was so fucking wet. I wasn’t sure exactly what was turning me on, but I was so aroused that deep down, I found myself eager for his next move.
I craved his touch, his lips against mine, his tongue invading my mouth. He smelled so good that for a split second, I thought about licking his skin. I couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like to have him deep inside me.
In all sincerity, I was hoping to find out—hoping he’d lose control and grab me. Vulnerable, I stood before him, waiting to have my dress ripped apart and my breath stolen by his kiss.
My blood was boiling with desire, my heart beating so loudly in my heaving chest. The longer I held his gaze, the more I lost myself in a sea of ecstasy. I wanted him so badly that I felt my nipples harden at the mere thought of his body on me.
When I glanced down at his erection, printed beneath his tailored pants, a cold shiver ran down my spine. Something cracked open inside me, and for the very first time, I was ready to surrender to him, to submit my mind, soul, and body.
I was ready to be claimed—to be owned—to have my pussy fucked like never before. Rough. Hard. And without mercy.
Fuck, I was so high. So fuckin’ horny!
However, Lev gave me the biggest shock of all time. He walked away. He fucking walked away and left me hanging.
What in the actual fuck?!
I wasn’t sure whether I was more furious at him for walking away, or at myself for wanting him not to. I craved him so much, and he ended up disappointing me.
Relief—that was what I was supposed to feel when I saw that he didn’t make any funny moves that night. And honestly, a few days ago, I probably would have been relieved by his decision. Not now that things have changed between us.
What happened two nights ago—or almost happened but didn’t—was proof enough that we both were attracted to each other. I had tried to mask mine with defiance, anger, and stubbornness, but obviously, it didn’t work.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about this man or what might have happened if he hadn’t pulled away. It was just a spark at first, then it turned into a flame—which he fanned—and now, it wouldn’t stop burning.
Even after two days, that fire he’d ignited still threatened to consume me. Every glance at him or from him since that night felt different—heavier. I’d caught him staring at me multiple times when he thought I wasn’t looking.
Neither of us had addressed the elephant in the room, but our silence spoke volumes. In his eyes was the same spark from the other night, bright and lustful.
It was maddening how aware I’d become of him—the subtle pauses in his movements when I was near, the sound of footsteps, and the unmistakable scent of his cologne.
For a while, I convinced myself that this awareness was solely because he was a dangerous man and I needed to stay alert.
Lies.
Was he dangerous? Yes.
Was that the reason for this sudden awareness of him I’d developed? Hell no!
In fact, I was drawn to that danger—toward the darkness that wrapped around him like silk.
My mind was no longer warning me to stay away, to steer clear of him like a plague.
No. Instead, it was doing the exact opposite; it was curious about what it would feel like to have his lips on mine and his hands all over my body.
At breakfast this morning, when he quietly passed me the salt, his hand brushed against mine. A jolt of electricity surged through my blood, and the heat in my cheeks betrayed me.
The tension between us was heavier than it had ever been. And this time, it wasn’t because I hated him or because he enjoyed watching me suffer. It was because we both felt something dark and powerful that neither of us was willing to surrender to.
Personally, I was frustrated by constantly wanting someone I couldn’t have, and it was driving fucking crazy. This was the first time that I’d ever craved someone so much to the point that I could no longer think straight.
Lev had been occupying my thoughts, and all I’d done these past two days was think about him. I had imagined different ways that night could have gone—what might have happened if he hadn’t chickened out at the last minute.
The more I fed my mind with those crazy thoughts, the more I wanted him. I’d seen the size of his cock, and now I couldn’t unsee it. I could only imagine how it would feel to have that big cock stretch me out.
Tonight, I was lying on the bed, facing the ceiling, and wishing he were right here with me. I clutched his pillow to my chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne. It was so intoxicating that it fueled my desire, making me more and more vulnerable with each second.
Lev hadn’t come home from work yet. Or maybe he had and was working in his study as usual. But whatever the case, I had the room all to myself. That realization quickened my pulse and heartbeat as my hand slowly slid down my body.
Don’t do it, Ravyn. Don’t do it, a small voice whispered in my head. If you go down that path, there’s no turning back.
I ignored the voice, tossed the pillow aside, and dared to rest my hand over the fabric of my underpants. My heart was racing in my heaving chest, my breath too difficult to catch.
I slid a finger over my panties—up…down…up…down…up…down. Shockwaves spread across my body, prompting my nipples to harden. I closed my eyes, let out a quiet sigh, and then dipped my hand underneath my panties.
“Fuck,” the word slipped out of my mouth, my teeth grazing my lower lip.
My pussy was soaking wet, each slide of my middle finger sending tremors down my core. Soft purrs escaped me, and my back arched in response to Lev’s imaginary hand fingering my cunt.
The feeling was ecstatic and breathtaking. Literally. My toes curled, fingers caressing my swollen clit while I simultaneously pinched my nipples with my free hand.
“Oh, God, yes,” I whispered to myself, bucking my hips.
I slid a finger between my folds, and seeing how wet I was, I dared to slide in another, and another until I had three fingers in. My pussy was slippery enough to accommodate all three, and now there was no turning back.
“Lev. Oh, Lev,” I moaned his name, tipping my head backward.
I fondled my breasts one at a time while driving those fingers deeper into my pussy. The more I touched myself, the more I wanted him. The heat coursing through me was too much to bear, and my body wouldn’t stop trembling.
In my head, he was going down on me, licking my plate clean with his tongue. “Ohh, fuck, yes! Yes…yes. Yes!” My voice shook with ecstasy, my tone rising on each word.
I ran four fingers rapidly over my clit, my legs shuddering in response to the shiver sprinting down my spine. “Ahh, uhh! Fuck you, Lev Tarasov.” I moaned his name over and over and over again.
Still couldn’t get enough.
I quickened my pace, rubbing my clit faster and more vigorously. “Aah, fuck!” A deep groan fell off my lips.
My toes curled, my legs trembled, and my back arched higher and higher. My eyes rolled back, fingers pulling against the sheets. For a moment, I thought my heart was going to burst from all that desire.
But it wasn’t my heart that I should be worried about. It was my cunt. The damn thing was so hot, and with each passing second, I drew closer to the edge. I was on the verge of releasing—I could feel it.
“Oh, fuck, I’m coming—I’m coming—I’m coming…!” My voice trailed off, my mouth open in a silent scream.
My face was contorted in pleasure, my thighs frantically grazing against each other. Yet, I kept rubbing that clit like my life depended on it. I could barely breathe at this point, and my brain had completely shut down.
Then came the explosion that rattled across my body, shattering every fiber of my being. My hand flew to my face, my palm covering my mouth as I let out a muffled moan. I was shaking like a leaf, my grip tightening around the sheets.
The orgasm was so intense it left me mesmerized, breathless, and numb. My back, which had arched so high, dropped to the mattress with a soft thud. Panting, I gazed absently into space, my chest rising and falling with uneven breaths.
My cunt was hot and slippery, my fingers coated with my wetness. I let out a deep breath, blinking a few times to get a grip on myself. Gradually, disappointment began creeping in, and so did regret. But the deed was done, and it revealed the bitter truth I wasn’t ready to face.
If Lev and I didn’t make out soon, this would probably turn into a habit—my daily routine whenever I was alone. Despite myself, I couldn’t deny that jerking off to thoughts of him felt good.
It did. It felt really good. Not as satisfying as the real thing, but good enough to momentarily quench my desire.
I rolled over and buried my face in a pillow, ashamed of myself.