Chapter 18 #2
While I waited, I looked around. There wasn’t much in the room outside of the white walls, the gray flooring, and the polished wood table. But the main décor came from the chandelier and the unique high-back chairs.
“It is beautiful in here,” I commented when Russ returned with two plates of pasta, salad, and bread.
“I appreciate it. My mom is an interior decorator, so I have her to thank for a lot of this. I can’t take all the credit.”
“Well, tell her she did an excellent job.” I pointed to the chandelier. “This is stunning.”
Grinning with pride, he took the seat next to me. “That’s the only thing that I picked out.”
“I’m impressed.”
“I hope you’re just as impressed with your meal.”
I eyed the plate. “It looks as good as it smells,” I told him before I took my first bite. “Mmmm.”
“You like?”
I nodded as I chewed. After I swallowed, I looked over at him. “This is really good. What is this?”
“Penne carbonara. Instead of pancetta, I use extra bacon.”
I knew I smelled bacon. “It’s so good.”
“It’s my best dish.” He ate a forkful. “It’s my only dish.”
I snickered as I ate more. “This is the only thing you know how to cook?”
“I can cook some basic things, too. But this is the one meal I perfected. My dad said I had to have one in the artillery before I went to HU. So, my grandma taught me some tricks, and now I break this out for special occasions.”
With my eyes glued to him, I licked sauce from my lips and tried not to smile. “And today is a special occasion?”
“Any day with you is a special occasion.”
My stomach fluttered.
“Look,” he commanded suddenly, pointing out the window toward something in the water.
I squinted until I saw what he saw. “What the hell is that?”
“I don’t know,” he said with a laugh. “It has to be an animal. It doesn’t look like a person. I saw it a few days ago and it went underwater for too long to be a human.”
“What in the Loch Ness Monster is going on here?”
He chuckled. “Yoooooo! What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing!” I exclaimed. “I’m not the problem. You have the beautiful home and the pretty view, and then you have the shape of water out there.”
He burst out laughing.
“The real problem is out there, lurking,” I continued. “And I’m just trying to figure out what type of horror movie setup this is so I can plan my next move accordingly.”
“This isn’t a horror movie.” He shook his head even though his shoulders still shook with amusement. “The place isn’t haunted. There isn’t some creature in the water. It’s—”
“It’s built on a burial ground,” I interrupted.
He cracked up. “No, it wasn’t!”
“How do you know?”
“I checked before it was built!”
“Then, explain that.” I pointed to the large figure floating in the water in the distance.
Amused, he shook his head. “I can’t. But—”
I lifted my hands. “I rest my case.”
We laughed and joked our way through our meal. We drank wine as we watched the sun set in the distance.
He opened his mouth to say something, but a loud noise rang out from the woods on the other side of the lake. We both swung our heads in the direction of the window.
He rose to his feet and walked around the table. “The fuck was that?”
I stared at the lake. “The Meg.”
Laughing, he peered out the window, scanning the area. “What is wrong with you, yo?”
“Nothing! You got me in this haunted house on this cursed land.”
“Oh!” He sucked his teeth. “People are out there on the other side of the lake.”
“Mm-hmm.”
He pointed and I saw the flicker of flames. “Look!”
“I see it. I’m still not convinced though.”
His laughter filled my spirit and my lips curled into a smile. I eyed the way his T-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders as he closed the blinds and pulled the curtains.
The delicious food, the home tour, the lively conversation, and the picturesque sunset were all working together to create a perfect evening.
I was apprehensive to bring up what we needed to talk about.
But I knew it had to be done. As the night unfolded, everything that we weren’t saying inched its way to the forefront.
I lifted my wineglass to my lips and took a sip. I could feel his eyes on me, and my body tingled.
“We need to discuss the elephant in the room,” Russ announced in a low tone.
Caught off guard, I almost choked on my wine. “Which one?” I placed my glass on the table and turned to him. “It’s about ten elephants in the room.”
He smirked. “It’s a gahdamn zoo.”
I stifled a giggle as my lips twisted into a smile.
“Nina, I owe you an apology for…” His sentence trailed off.
“For Monday,” I offered.
“For yesterday,” he finished at the exact same time.
We looked at each other for a second.
My brows furrowed. “Yesterday?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I shouldn’t have come looking for you.
But I just…” He looked like he was searching for his words.
“I’ve been trying to keep my distance, but Friday just reminded me how hard it is to be around you.
You’d blocked me and I needed to talk to you.
I needed to figure out how we could work together.
But then you were looking the way you were looking. ”
He sat back in his chair and ran his hands down his face.
“And you were looking at me the way you were looking at me and I lost focus,” he continued.
“Then I got in there and you were standing there…” His eyes slid down my body before returning to my face.
“My dick got rock hard at the sight of you and I forgot the plan.”
“What was your plan?”
“To set up a time for us to talk. You’d blocked me, and yeah, I admit, seeing you looking at me during the shoot had my head in a different space, but I really did come back there to talk to you.
But when I saw you, it was like I had no fucking control.
” He shook his head. “I’m sorry I put you in that position.
It was unacceptable and unprofessional for me to approach you on a shoot like that. ”
That wasn’t what I was expecting at all.
“Russ…” I searched his face. “If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t have done it. It was just as unacceptable and unprofessional for me to participate.”
“I came into a designated space where you were changing,” he reminded me, letting his eyes drop to my lips. “And you deserve better than to be fucked in a changing room.”
I clenched at the memory.
“We could’ve gotten caught,” he continued. “I put a lot of stuff in jeopardy by not being able to keep myself in check, by not being able to resist you.” He put his hand to his chest. “And I sincerely apologize.”
“Yeah, it was reckless, but…” I licked my lips. “I’m not mad it happened. You have nothing to apologize for. I wanted it, Russ. I wanted you.”
Reaching out, he caressed my cheek. “You mean a lot to me, and I would never want to put you in a position to compromise you, your money, or anything you have going on.”
I leaned into his touch. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”
As he sat back, his fingertips slid across my cheek ever so gently. I shivered.
“You really didn’t need to apologize for yesterday,” I continued. “I thought you were apologizing for playing me on Monday.”
He shook his head and let out a groan. “This again? I didn’t play you. I wouldn’t play you.” He scooted to the edge of his chair and leaned forward so that he was inches from my face. “But I’m sorry I made you feel played. I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t want to talk to you.”
My mouth twisted into a smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry I blocked you.”
“Now that I think about it, I feel played,” he teased. “You played me!”
Pushing his chest, I stifled a laugh. “Shut up.”
He caught my hand and brought it to his lips. “So, are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
The humor drained from his face as he held my gaze. “I hope you know I would never play you. I would never hurt you,” he said with earnestness. “You are my escape.”
“You’ve said that before, but what does that mean? I’m your escape from reality?” I guessed, searching his face.
“When we first met, I was cool with brushing it off as an escape from real life. But it was never that. You’re not an escape from real life. You are real life. And I escape from everything else to have real life with you.”
My breathing hitched.
“When I say you’re my escape, I mean you’re my freedom.” He cupped my face. “When I say you’re my escape, I mean I can be myself with you.” His mouth hovered over mine. “When I say you’re my escape, I mean that whenever and wherever we’re together, it’s the only place I want to be.”
Crashing my lips to his, I kissed him with the overwhelming emotion that was bubbling inside of me.
Our mouths moved hungrily and in perfect sync as soft moans escaped us.
Tugging me from my seat, he pulled me into his lap.
I straddled him in the chair and my skirt rode high on my thighs.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I drew him closer and deepened the kiss.
Pulling away fractionally, he looked up at me. “I wish I would’ve handled things better. I would’ve made it work.”
“How?” I wondered. “The contract I signed was clear.”
“There won’t be too many reasons for you to have to come to the office, so I’ll figure it out. Because I can’t stay away from you. I don’t want to stay away from you.”
My breathing became shallow. “I don’t want to stay away from you either.”
“So, we’ll figure it out,” he decided. “We have to. These last few weeks, I realized a lot.”
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t want you sometimes. I want you all the time.”
“Because I’m irresistible,” I joked softly.
He didn’t laugh.
He grabbed my ass, squeezing as he situated me on his lap.
“Yes. You’re irresistible.” He slid his hands to my hips.
“And I don’t just mean your beauty or the sex.
” He leaned forward, his face an inch from mine.
“ You are irresistible. Your mind… your conversation… your company… your heart… All of you is fucking irresistible. And I’m tired of resisting you. ”
My stomach did somersaults. “Then don’t resist…” I said in barely a whisper.
He held my gaze. “Then tell me how you feel.”
“I’ve never felt like this before,” I answered, breaking eye contact. “I…”
My sentence trailed off as I tried to figure out how to put my emotions into words that would make sense to him.
He moved his head, forcing our eyes to connect again. He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me, willing me to be transparent.
“I’ve never craved someone like I crave you.
I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship before I said yes to you.
You have burned your way into my heart, and these last couple of weeks…
” I shook my head slightly and then rested my forehead against his.
“I’ve never had someone’s absence feel as distinct as their presence. ”
He grabbed my face with his hands. “I’m not letting you go. I’m going to figure this out for us.”
I heard the conviction in his voice. I saw the earnestness in his eyes.
I felt the stirring of his dick beneath me.
And I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that we had a chance to make it work.
But there was too much at risk for the both of us.
So instead of responding to him with words, I pressed my lips against his.