Chapter 23 #2
What if the runway isn’t an opportunity but an audition?
The thought haunted me and there was no one I could talk to about it.
I couldn’t talk to my man because it was his company, and I didn’t want to create strife between us.
If it was the best business decision to go with Gabby, I would have to accept that from the CEO, but at the same time, I would feel a way if my man made that decision.
I wouldn’t want him to do anything that would negatively impact his business, but I would also want him to fight for me.
It was a complicated situation and I wouldn’t even want to put that in the air for him to deal with.
Especially with so much on his plate right now.
I couldn’t talk to my family and friends about it because they were going to say the same thing I’d been telling myself: whatever is meant for me is for me.
And I believed that wholeheartedly. There was literally nothing I could do but my best so that was the plan.
But I couldn’t help how bad I wanted it.
The opportunity to walk in a runway show was huge.
Being one of the faces of the RLF brand was also huge.
But the other factor that wasn’t explicitly spelled out in the contract but was just as big of an opportunity was the access.
The rooms that I’d be invited into and the people I’d be meeting expanded with each trip, each event, and each photo op.
The ability to translate my relatability from social media to real life would increase my capital.
It wasn’t just about money. It was about further legitimizing my career and normalizing beauty and fashion for all sizes.
I knew what I brought to the table, so it wasn’t a me versus Gabby situation, as Jacqueline kept bringing up. It was me versus me. I needed to do my best. I needed to win everyone over. I needed to keep my job.
So on Thursday night, after checking into a gorgeous New York boutique hotel and getting changed for the RLF model dinner, I had a renewed sense of purpose.
“I didn’t realize we were dressing up,” Matias commented when he saw me.
“Damn, Nina,” Jonah added.
I did a little pose in my orange halter dress, making sure they didn’t miss my blue stiletto heels and matching clutch.
“It’s a work trip so I came to work,” I told them as I walked with them to the restaurant next door.
As soon as we walked through the door, Jacqueline and Taisha flagged us down.
“We have a reservation under Lori Smith,” Jonah told the ma?tre d’, pointing beyond him. He nodded and had us follow him to the table. We were just about to take our seats when I noticed there was a sixth chair. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone with a huge Afro coming straight toward me.
“Nina!”
“Gabby!”
We exclaimed at the same time, embracing each other.
“I didn’t realize you were going to be here,” I told her, completely surprised to see her.
“I got in a couple hours ago,” Gabby informed me with a smile. “I told Lori I wanted to surprise you!”
“Well, you absolutely did.” I turned to the others. “Let me introduce you to the RLF models. This is Taisha, Jacqueline, Jonah, and Matias.”
She shook each of their hands as I said their names. When she stepped back, I put my arm around her.
“Everyone, I’d like for you to meet Gabriella Pace.”
“Gabriella Pace,” Jacqueline repeated before her eyes got big. “Your replacement?”
The awkward pause that hung in the air seemed to quiet the whole restaurant, even though no one heard her but us.
“What?” Gabby asked, looking at me and then back at Jacqueline.
“You’re the one they are giving—”
“Jacqueline, that’s enough,” I interrupted. “There’s room for both of us.”
“Barely,” a wrinkled old man commented from the next table.
His slim wife laughed along with him.
Still standing, I stared at them until it became uncomfortable for everybody.
“What are you staring at?” the old man asked.
With my top lip curled in disgust, I gave him a look. “Not much.”
He started stuttering and sputtering with indignation and I held up my hand as I took my seat.
Looking around at my dinner companions, I shook my head. “I’m not about to go back and forth with someone with one credit hour of life left.”
They burst out laughing and the waiter came just in time to quell that situation.
Even though I was choosing to move on, Jacqueline’s comments were still stirring within me.
Because it seemed that even though I wasn’t in competition with Gabby, we were still being positioned as competition against one another.
It was an odd and uncomfortable realization.
No matter how I framed it or how I approached it, there were going to be folks who pitted us against each other.
No matter what I did, people like Jacqueline were always going to frame it as a me versus Gabby situation.
And if insisting that it wasn’t a competition wasn’t enough for them to believe it, I didn’t know what else could be done.
But I’m not about to let them see me sweat.
Dinner went on with minimal incidents. The other models mostly peppered Gabby with questions, trying to get to know her while we ate.
I tried to stay present in the conversation.
But I was tired. I had to be on from the time I walked into the restaurant until I was back in my hotel room.
All six of us had rooms on the same floor so the smile plastered on my face wasn’t safe to come off until I’d closed my door.
I exhaled.
Nina: I’m about to take a shower and then get in the bed.
Russ: I wish I got a chance to see you today.
Nina: Because of the dress?
Russ: Because of you. But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind getting a chance to take you out of that dress.
Nina: It sounds like you want me in nothing but the shoes.
Russ: It sounds like you want me to come down to your room.
I squeezed my thighs together.
Nina: Yes please.
Russ: Let me get rid of Remedy and the rest of them and I’ll be right down. Give me thirty minutes.
Nina: I’ll be ready and waiting.
Thirty minutes later, I was showered, shaved, and moisturized.
Russ: I’m heading down now.
Nina: Good.
Knowing he was on the way, I wrapped myself in my silk robe and slid my feet into the cozy slippers. When there was a knock at the door, I put my phone on the charger and then merrily skipped across the room. I looked out of the peephole and my smile dropped.
What the hell?
I opened the door slightly, shielding my robe-covered body. “Hey, Gabby. What’s going on?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was hoping to catch you before you got in bed.” She looked down the hall, toward the elevator, and then back at me. “Can I come in?”
“I’m not dressed. Can we talk in the morning?”
There was a small flicker of sadness in her eyes as she nodded.
“Okay, I’ll make it quick. I’m not trying to take anything from you.
I don’t know what Jacqueline meant by calling me your replacement, but I was under the impression that we were sharing the load.
I want this opportunity, but I also want to make sure we’re good, too. ”
“Oh, Gabby, we’re good. It was…” The elevator dinged, snatching my attention before I could continue speaking.
My heart thumped in my chest.
The hint of impropriety between Russ and one of his employees could result in major blowback at one of the biggest moments of his career. The mere rumor of me in a relationship with Russ would undermine how I got the opportunity to walk in the show to begin with.
I swallowed hard. “There was some confusion in the way it was announced, and then everyone else started fearing for their job security. That’s all. Me and you are good. But we can talk tomorrow,” I finished in a rush.
She turned her head toward the elevator and waved. “Hey, Jonah!” She turned to me and smiled. “He’s so cute,” she whispered.
“What’s up, Gabriella,” Jonah replied. “Aight, Mr. Long, thanks again.”
A few seconds later, the elevator doors shut, and heavy footsteps were coming closer. I knew in my heart that it was Jonah. There was no way Russ was going to attempt to come to my room with two RLF spokesmodels in the hallway. So, I wasn’t surprised when Jonah appeared in my view.
“Boss Man is pretty cool,” he commented as he stopped at my door. He looked between us. “What’s going on here?”
“Wait, that was Russell Long, the CEO?” Gabby questioned. “I’ve never met him before.”
“You’ll get a chance to meet him on Monday after the runway show,” Jonah stated. “What are y’all doing?” He turned to me. “Why are you peeking out the door?”
“It’s my fault,” Gabby explained. “I just wanted to check on Nina, but she’s ready for bed.”
“You have an eight o’clock call time, don’t you?” Jonah asked me.
“Yeah, so I’m going to say good night,” I told them before closing the door.
When I ran across the room to my phone, I had a missed call and two text messages from Russ.
Russ: Can’t get off the elevator.
Russ: Too risky. Call me.
I didn’t waste time texting him back and dialed him immediately.
“That shit was crazy,” he said as soon as he answered.
“I know,” I groaned.
“I came out my room and Remedy was at the elevator, too. So, I rode down with her, pretended I forgot my wallet, so I needed to go back up. Then Jonah’s ass got in before the door could close and he rode up with me.
I had to just abort the mission and come back to the room—especially when I saw there was someone else in the hallway. ”
“That was Gabby. I thought it was you when she knocked. A couple minutes later, the elevator opened, and it was you and Jonah. I don’t know the last time I was that nervous.”
“I was so ready to see you tonight that I wasn’t even thinking straight.
When I ran into Remedy, that should’ve been a sign.
But I brushed it off because I needed to see you.
And then Jonah got in the elevator, and I just knew I was about to be caught.
” He let out a short, dry laugh. “There’s gotta be a better way for me to link up with my girl. ”
His girl.
I didn’t know why those words spread warmth throughout my body, but they did. He’d asked me to be with him. He’d called me various terms of endearment. But it hit differently in that moment. I fell back against my pillow and grinned.
“All I kept thinking about was how bad it would be for us if they saw you coming into my room,” I told him. “I was nervous as hell.”
“I’ll admit, when the elevator opened on your floor, it hit me how risky this whole thing was.”
I chewed my bottom lip for a moment. “Yeah. Everything we talked about when we first found out about this… conflict of interest came flooding back.”
“Yeah. Our careers are on the line.”
“I don’t want to be an HR embarrassment and a PR nightmare for you,” I whispered.
“You aren’t an embarrassment or a nightmare. You’re… everything to me.”
My stomach fluttered as I let his words cover me. “I feel the same way,” I admitted. “I just don’t want to look like I fuck for work.”
“We were fucking way before you were offered work.”
“True. But that would be the perception. And my reputation would take a hit. Both of our reputations would take a hit.”
“So, we just lay low this weekend. Play it cool until we get through Fashion Week. We’ll get the paperwork on Tuesday and then…”
“We’ll be free?”
“We’ll be free.”
We were both quiet.
I exhaled. “I wish we were having this conversation in person.”
“I wish we didn’t have to have this conversation at all,” he countered.
“Do you wish…” Inexplicably, nerves twisted my gut. “Do you wish we would’ve never started?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Do you wish Remedy would’ve never crossed my path?”
“Would it have made my life easier? Yes. But every time you tell me how much this opportunity means to you and your career, I want it for you even more. Watching you do your thing and seeing the photos of you in my campaign make me proud. So, I can’t say I wish Remedy wouldn’t have offered the job to you.
You deserve the job. You’re good at the job. ”
“So are you. You’ve worked your ass off for your company.
The fact that you started this as just T-shirts and it grew into this.
You’ve built something really special and that has everything to do with the fact that you’re special.
The way you do business and the way you run your business is special.
I’m proud to wear your clothes, to represent your company…
” There was more I wanted to say but my sentence trailed off as a wave of emotion gripped my throat.
“Nina…” He paused. “That means a lot. You mean a lot.”
“I’m not going to let our relationship cost you,” I promised him softly.
“And I’m not going to let it cost you.”
I let out a breath. “What are we going to do?”
“After the show, we’ll get back to Richland and my lawyer will have the forms ready for us to sign. I’ll take it to the board, and we’ll go from there. I’m not giving you up.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”