Chapter Eleven
“Whose house is this?” Pocket had carried me from the car because he had thought I was asleep, but really, I was just closing my eyes to try to regain some control over my emotions. I needed some control, even just an ounce of it, otherwise I wouldn’t survive.
Sitting up in the middle of the bed he had placed me on, I glanced around. The room was neat and tidy. A homely space. But in the darkness, I couldn’t see much.
“Mine,” Pocket said gruffly. I could see his silhouette moving around the room. Pulling the curtains over the dark windows and opening drawers, but I couldn’t really see him. Not the expression on his face, anyway.
“Why are we here?” I asked.
Pocket's sigh was loud in the silence. “Because it’s safe. At least for now.” The mattress dipped as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
But instead of reaching for me like I expected him to, he just sat there and stared at the wall.
“And I was told to take you somewhere safe.” Slowly, he turned his head to me.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on, Chloe? ”
Instantly, I recoiled from his question. I had only known him for a few days. Though he knew I had a secret, I wasn’t ready to tell him everything.
“I…” Tears sprung up again in my eyes. I didn’t know why this was happening.
Hadn’t I done everything I should have? Followed every rule right until I found him at the side of the road?
Was this all happening because I had saved him?
Had I doomed myself? I didn’t know yet, but I did know I couldn’t tell him the truth. If I did, it would kill him.
“You think what happened back there was my fault?” My voice shook with the kind of righteous anger I had no right feeling.
“Keith was my friend, and he is dead. Do you think…?” I dissolved into sobs and curled in on myself.
None of this was an act. I had never wanted the people I cared about to come into harm's way.
Not ever. It was one of the reasons I never got close to people, because I knew how quickly those people could be ripped away from me.
“I think you know more than you are telling me,” Pocket said softly. “I know it has something to do with Ghost. What I don’t know is why you won’t tell me what’s going on? I’m risking my life having you here and—”
I’d heard enough. Rolling from the bed, I moved around it and headed for the slightly paler black rectangle that was the door.
“Where are you going?”
“Away. Away from you and away from all of this. I don’t want to put you in danger because you think some crazy man is after me, so it’s best that I leave and never come back.”
Pocket caught my wrist easily, tugging me back towards the bed and between his knees. His hands kept my arms to my side, flexing around my wrists. “I don’t want you to go, Chloe. I just want you to tell me what is going on.”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. I might know why it was happening, but not why it was so violent all of a sudden.
The thought made me frown. A tiny line appeared between my eyebrows.
It had been violent before as well. Years ago.
Anytime we thought we were safe, he would appear and prove to us that we weren’t.
“And your relationship with Ghost?” Pocket’s hands moved from my arms to my hips.
“Pocket please.” I didn’t know why I was begging, but I was. I had to because I didn’t want to go out there and be alone. I was so tired of being alone. Of keeping my distance from anyone who might learn to love me.
“Stay with me.” His fingers squeezed and released my hips in rhythmic succession and each time his fingers tightened, I felt a wave of heat flood between my legs.
“Stay with me tonight until I can find somewhere safe for you to go. I want you safe,” he muttered, and his voice was full of worry. “More than anything, I want you safe. So stay here tonight, and tomorrow I’ll take you to Ghost.”
Why did he keep mentioning Ghost? It wasn’t Ghost I was thinking of right now. It hadn’t been Ghost that I had been thinking of from the moment I had found Pocket on the side of the road.
Reaching down, I pulled his hand up and away from me, only to press it down over my breast.
“Make love to me, Pocket,” I whispered, and even in the darkness, I could see the way his eyes widened.
“Please,” I begged. If he turned me down now, I might die.
I had never had something or someone that was mine before.
Not since my mother, but I wanted that now, and I wanted that person to be Pocket.
I didn’t know why, but I needed him to be my first. He had already been my first kiss, so he needed to be my first everything. Even if I never saw him again after tonight, I wanted the memories.
I needed them.
“Please, fuck me.”
He stood up so suddenly that I almost stumbled backwards and it was only his hands finding my waist to hold me still that stopped me from falling down.
Pocket towered over me. Tilting my chin up, he lowered his mouth until it was no more than an inch from mine.
“Don’t,” he warned. “Don’t call it that.
Not between me and you. Don’t make it crass. ”
There was so much feeling in his voice that my heart skipped a beat. “Pocket.”
“You’re afraid and lonely. You don’t want this, not really,” he said gruffly. “You will regret it in the long run.” Moving around me, he headed towards the door with his shoulders hunched.
Feeling defeated, I watched him walk away, and it was like my one chance of happiness walked away with him.
One night of happiness, of feeling like a woman. Was it really too much to ask? There was only one way I could think to change his mind.
“Pocket?”
He turned in the doorway just as I ripped the t-shirt from my body. My leggings went next, and I almost toppled over trying to step out of them.
“Chloe, stop.” He caught me under the elbow, straightening me as I kicked the clothing away. “What are you doing?”
Gathering my courage, I reached for him, cupping my hand over the zipper of his jeans and the entire time, I never took my eyes from his.
“I want you,” I said simply.
Pocket blinked slowly. “You don’t mean that. This isn’t something you should just give away. It should be with someone you care about. Someone you are in love with if you believe in that shit. It shouldn’t be with someone like me.”
“I almost died today, Pocket,” I reminded him. “I don’t want to die a virgin. But if you don’t want me, then I’m sure I can find someone who does.” Bending, I began to gather up my clothes.
Pocket let out a strangled sound in the back of his throat. Curling his arm around my waist, he flung me onto his bed and crawled up my body until our faces were level.
“No,” he growled. “No, you won’t be finding anyone else. Not now. Not ever.”