Chapter 24
twenty-four
MAYAKOBA, MEXICO
The team was in full race-prep mode now with the Mexico City GP days away, but Avery was headed to the pool book in hand, intending to soak up every last drop of vacation.
It had been, hands down, the best five days of her life.
She and Teddy had given up any pretense of a fake relationship as soon as James had caught on, and the whole week had been a dream.
She’d spent every night in Teddy’s bed as they’d gotten to know every curve and line of one another’s body.
And then each day had been spent working out with Teddy and Stacey, relaxing by the pool with her book, and biking or golf carting down to the beach.
Heaven, in a nutshell. Or, a coconut shell.
But sooner or later, they’d have to discuss their relationship status.
Avery walked by the closed door of Teddy’s room, wearing her teal bathing suit under a long button-up, her sunglasses perched on the top of her head.
She could hear Teddy’s muffled voice and the sound of him pacing around the room during a call with the team.
She frowned. She couldn’t exactly hear what he was saying, but his tone was serious, intense.
The pacing stopped and the decibel level coming from the other side of the door dropped considerably. The meeting must be wrapping up.
Maybe, she could convince Teddy to take a break and hang out with her for a bit.
She’d been imagining a long romantic walk on the beach with him, one where they finally openly discussed their feelings.
In the movie version in her head, he’d twirl her around in the sand while the sun was setting, and it would be happily ever after.
The door creaked open and Teddy emerged, running his hands through his hair.
“How did your meeting go?” she asked, gently biting her lip.
“It was productive. Not everyone agrees, but I think the upgrades to the car are going to help next weekend,” he said, nodding his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.
“And you? Teddy asked, “All good with the Silver Charitable Foundation?
“Foundation? What foundation?” she laughed, though the reality hit a little too close to home, she had definitely spent the morning reading in bed, her laptop firmly closed at the bottom of her suitcase. She’d been hiding from reality in more ways than one this week.
Avery took a deep breath, trying to calm the quivery feeling in her muscles.
Maybe the time had come to rejoin reality.
Sunset was hours away, but the first step of rejoining real life had to be defining their relationship.
She’d be forced to admit to him what she wanted—which was nothing short of everything.
“Do you have time to take a walk on the beach with me?” she asked.
He looked at his watch. “As a matter of fact, I do. That’s exactly what I need,” Teddy said, smiling at her as he grabbed his flip flops and a baseball cap.
He put his baseball cap on backwards, just as it had been the first day they met at the track back in March. His hair flipped out from under the brim, rendering her completely defenseless to his charms. It was literally adorable and hot at the same time. He grinned at her and held open the door.
Her palms were sweaty as they walked and the hot sand burned her toes, so she made a beeline for the surf. Teddy followed her, eyes on the horizon.
Avery’s eyes were instinctively drawn down toward the wet clumpy sand, looking for anything shiny or interesting.
She spotted something pink and bent down to examine it, partially out of habit; she’d always been a seashell collector.
But, she knew she was stalling, delaying the inevitable.
She owed it to herself to have this conversation now, she just needed to find the right words.
“What did you find?” Teddy asked.
“Look, a perfect spiral,” she opened her palm, revealing her seashell, completely intact from its pointy end all the way to its smooth opening.
“I’ve collected seashells from beaches around the world ever since I was a little girl.
I used to come home from vacation with my family with ziplocks full of whatever I’d found.
Now just the special ones make it home.”
“Sounds like an idyllic childhood,” Teddy mused.
“Yes, those were special times for us. I think that’s why I still collect shells. It reminds me of the feeling I had on those family vacations, the rare time we had our parents’ full attention: no work, no social engagements.”
She remembered how the real world would fade into the background for a week as she and her brother frolicked in the sand while their parents doted on them.
The good old days. The golden age of the Silver family.
Before all of the expectations and pressure.
Before her mom’s drinking had gotten out of control.
“Beach vacations with your family, I can’t say I’m not a bit envious. We spent our school breaks at the track of course, not that my mom had the money to take us on a proper holiday, even if I hadn’t been busy with karting.”
She felt guilty about her privileged childhood whenever Teddy brought up his own. Their backgrounds were so, so different, and yet they’d both ended up here, at the precipice of motorsport.
It really wasn’t fair that it had been so easy for her, really, when compared to Teddy and kids like he had been. It was a good reminder of why she did what she did, and why she needed to break the spell of this magical week and get back to work helping kids get opportunities like the ones she had.
She took his hand with one of hers, rubbing her thumb along his calloused palm.
She rubbed the shell in her other hand as if it would reveal the right words to convey what she felt in her heart.
That despite their different childhoods, she understood him deeply and saw him to his core, that they were each other’s person.
“Teddy, that commitment, those sacrifices. They worked. You are one of the twenty best drivers in the world. You’ve made it.”
He stopped walking and looked at her, his lips forming a tight line. “I don’t see it that way. I’m only getting started in this sport. All my dreams are now within my reach, and if I’m not careful, they’ll slip away. It will all have been for nothing.”
She bit the inside of her lip, her heart crashing into her chest in time with the waves breaking onto the shore. This was her opening.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. The last couple months we’ve spent getting to know each other have been amazing.
” She exhaled. “I wasn’t expecting this, but I’ve completely fallen for you.
” She smiled up at him. “I love your real smile, the one that reaches your eyes. I love how you aren’t afraid to look goofy in a cowboy hat.
I love how you’d do anything to protect your family. I think I’m falling in love with you…”
He looked down, breaking their eye contact, but held onto her hand.
Avery’s mouth went dry. Why wasn’t he saying anything back?
He exhaled loudly and spoke quietly. “Someday when I retire, I can imagine falling in love. But I can’t give you more than this…” he gestured to himself on the beach, “…Right now.”
Avery’s heart sank. It’s not no, but it isn’t what I was hoping to hear, of course. If only she could convince him he deserved some happiness along his journey to the top.
She let the shell fall from her hand and land with a soft thud in the sand, and used her fingers to clutch his other hand into hers, so they were face to face.
“Teddy” she said with more conviction than she felt, forcing his eyes back up to meet hers.
“I know you feel how magical we are together. I know that you think having a girlfriend would distract you from achieving your goals, but you also know I’m not most girlfriends,” Avery said.
“I understand you. And I understand the sport. We’ve made an awesome team this season, Teddy.
I want to be the person who supports your career, who lifts you up.
And I don’t want to wait five years to see if we can work. Let’s at least give it a shot?”
This can’t be the end, we’ve only just begun.
Teddy grimaced, and shook his head slightly. “I can’t. I’m so sorry, Avery. I really didn’t mean to lead you on, but I think you misunderstood what I said—it’s not going to happen.”
Avery’s lungs constricted in her chest, making it hard to breathe. He’s breaking up with me.
He swallowed. “You’re a great girl. You’re nothing like what I expected when we first met.
I had thought you were a beautiful, spoiled, socialite who wanted to use me to increase her following, which aligned with my needs perfectly.
” She cringed at his initial impression of her.
“But you’re so much more than that, your reasons are so pure, and it’s been great getting to know you.
And obviously we are attracted to each other.
But we shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, have acted on that attraction.
It was a mistake, and we can’t let it happen again. ”
Avery looked away from his gaze, tilting her head up, trying to keep the tears that were burning her eyes from spilling over.
She was one of those people who cried for any number of emotions, including embarrassment, but Teddy didn’t know that.
She’d look pathetic, crying over a relationship that wasn’t even real to him.
Her hands shook from the effort of holding it together in front of him. She had to get away from him. Fast.
She nearly stumbled as she backed away, shaking her head at him.
If she opened her mouth to speak, she’d either fully burst into tears or say something unbearably cruel, neither of which seemed like a way to save face.
So, she just turned around and walked away as fast as she could without breaking into a full blown run.