Chapter 31
CALLUM
ZambrOnies
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
Anyone seen Cal?
Rookie:
My eyes hurt. It’s six a.m.
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
Seriously, Finnigan?
text me
Hollie’s gone
You can have your room back
Rohan:
Why can’t you ever fucking type in a single message?
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
You can complain about my texting style later
HELP ME FIND CAL
Flight’s in two hours
HE CAN’T MISS IT
Moore:
Did you kick Finnigan out to get laid?
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
Don’t make me feel bad, Yogi bear
And yes…
FIVE times
Pretty sure my name was changed to god last night
Moore:
I didn’t ask.
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
I want you to be proud of me
Moore:
I would leave the chat but will you let me?
Rookie:
My head hurts. I need to throw up.
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
SPUDDY BOY I’M SORRY!!!!
YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!!
COME BACK :( :(
Rookie:
I’m not your best friend?
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
One of, kid
This isn’t a monogamous situation
Rookie:
Kid? I’m only three years younger than you.
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
But you’re a rookie
Hence, kid
Mateo:
Stop fucking texting me. I’m trying to meditate.
Theo-who-won’t-shut-up:
Is Cal with you?
DON’T HANG OUT WITHOUT ME!
*Mateo has left the chat*
*Rohan has left the chat*
***
“This isn’t real. I’m going to wake up now.”
Alia and I observe Theo pacing back and forth, mumbling nonsense under his breath. He turns, opens his mouth, and stops when his gaze lands upon the bed Alia and I shared last night—a bed that looks like it’s been party to a host of boisterous activity.
In hindsight, when the hotel called a couple minutes ago to apologetically reveal they’d burned my pants while ironing them, I should’ve asked them to buy me a new pair.
I’d have paid them of course. But, with a flight to catch and a chunk of my morning spent kissing Alia like it’s my last day on Earth, I’d run out of time.
Which led to an SOS call to Theo who, along with my jeans, has also brought his lumbering presence right here.
He presses two pointers into his forehead as he continues to mutter to himself, making Alia throw a worried look at me.
For the third time since he saw us together, he barks, “The fuck were you thinking?”
That I like her and want to keep her.
I’m stunned by how quickly the thought forms. But I can’t say that in front of Alia and freak her out. Hell, I can’t say it out loud period. We’re fooling around and, unless something changes, I’m in no position to keep her.
Maybe it’s because I made her orgasm, because she trusted me with her needs last night and showed me so many broken and damaged pieces of her confidence, that I feel so protective of her this morning.
I throw an arm around her shoulder and shrug. “We’re friends, and we made a choice. It’s no one’s business except ours.”
Theo almost croaks, snapping at me immediately. “Not when it affects the team, Finnigan!”
“Theo.” He turns toward Alia whose sweet eyes are so wide and glimmering with guilt, that he groans, shaking his head.
“No, no, no,” he complains. “You can’t give me those puppy eyes! We’re dead meat if Moore finds out you two are sweep-checking each other into bed!”
“What does that mean?” she asks innocently and, despite having just been caught, I can’t help but snort. She’s so fucking cute, it kills me.
“I’ll teach you the hockey terms later, Tots. Every possible meaning.” I wink, enjoying her blush at the innuendo.
“No!” Theo snarks, folding his arms across his chest. “There will be no teaching happening. I hated school for a reason. This isn’t helping.”
Like a frustrated tiger who’s suddenly found himself faced with an adorable but willful cub, Theo stops blustering when Alia reaches out and places a hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry it’s so distressing to you,” she says. “We never meant for anyone to find out and I. . . I hope you don’t think badly of me.”
“You’re not the one I’m thinking badly of.”
He glares at me and I shoot him a sheepish grin. I understand how this looks to him. I even understand his worry about how this could affect team dynamics. It’s why I’d tried to stay away from Alia in the first place.
“It wasn’t Cal’s idea. It was mine.” Alia steps in between us, shielding my body behind hers.
Her arms curl backward protectively. Theo is as tall as me, with muscles built to withstand pucks shot at him at 90 mph.
The man is a tank and Alia is not. Still, her willingness to defend me heightens my need for her.
I want to throw her on the bed and thank her by sinking deep into her.
My hands settle on either side of her hips while she continues to address Theo.
“I know Ro’s protective but this is for me. I want this. I like and trust Cal. I know I can’t force you to keep my secrets but, as my friend, I hope you can.”
“Why don’t you tell Moore you’re dating?”
“We’re not dating.”
The smile on my face slips, but I recover quickly. I don’t like hearing it, but she’s been honest about what this is.
“Alia!”
“You’ve slept with women you’re not dating, haven’t you?” she retorts. “Puck bunnies, I believe you call them?”
To my immense amusement, Theo turns beet red. He points at her with a trembling finger, sputtering, “You don’t understand what a sweep check is but puck bunnies you know?”
I guffaw, wishing I had a camera recording this. Who’d have thought Alia would bring down Novak like this?
Actually, I did. Life may have torn her apart, but the unmistakable fire of resilience had always simmered underneath her unassuming surface.
“I’m a puck bunny now,” she declares with more passion than I expect. “I’m fooling around with Cal so that makes me a puck bunny.”
“No!” I snap, even as Theo whips his head from left to right, his expression like a distraught father learning that his precious daughter owns g-strings that don’t cover either ass-cheek.
“Puck bunny isn’t a nice term,” he croaks, looking nauseated.
“Then why do you use it?” Alia’s question is genuine, but it leaves us both floundering for a response.
“The connotation is that they are. . . promiscuous.” I cringe as the word leaves my mouth, but even more when Alia’s head swivels to gawk at me. Oh, she’s not impressed. Shit.
“Promiscuous,” she enunciates in a tone that dares me to repeat it at the risk of getting smacked. “You mean, like the two of you?”
“Al—”
“No, hold on,” she interrupts, eyes narrowed to slits.
“If it’s okay for the both of you to get your happy on and your.
. . your. . . appendages stroked—” she spits, waving agitatedly in the general direction of our dicks while glaring at us, “then why can’t a woman want the same thing without being branded with a derogatory label? ”
She’s so mad. I don’t think I’ve ever found her more beautiful than now, when she’s putting me and Novak in place without using a single curse word. Goddamn, she’s going to ruin me, and I can’t even blame her. I want this.
Placing my hand at the low of her back, I turn her into my embrace gently. “Shh, breathe in, baby,” I whisper, when her body remains rigid under my touch. “I’m sorry. I won’t say that again.”
I stroke her along the length of her spine, the knot in my chest loosening when she gradually leans into me. I gesture with a nod of my head to Novak whose mouth is hanging open.
“Theo!” I snap, making him jump. He rubs his neck, chagrined when Alia turns to face him once again.
“We’re man-whores,” he admits glumly.
“And?” I prod.
He scratches his scalp like he’s a five-year-old trying to make sense of why he’s just been scolded. “I’m sorry, too?”
Alia sighs. “All I’m asking is that you don’t judge me—us—for making choices you’ve made as well.”
“Fine. So, you two are really not dating?” Theo questions.
Alia shakes her head but my gaze locks with my friends’, an unknown dialogue passing between us that has him straightening with an imperceptible nod of acceptance. Now, Theodore Novak may be a goof. He may be annoying as fuck and play the fool. But he shows up for the people he cares about.
“I’ll get Moore to come to my room and text you,” he mutters, moving into problem-solving mode. “Al, you need to leave when I send Spuddy the text. Can’t take the risk of you two running into each other in the lobby.”
“What will you tell him?” I ask.
“That I need my balls massaged,” he snarks, throwing his hands up in the air like a disgruntled Italian grandmother. “I don’t know, fuck, I’ll make something up!”
“Didn’t need that image in my head,” Alia murmurs, looking disturbed. I pat her back soothingly. Novak is a lot to take on a normal day. But pissy Novak is a whole new level of drama.
“I’m going to go pack my toiletries,” she says, turning to me. “Please call me a taxi for the airport.”
“Done. Waiting for you downstairs.” The grateful smile she sends me makes me want to puff my chest up. I say my goodbyes easily, only because I know I’ll be following her home in a couple days.
By the time the team boards the plane, I’ve avoided multiple questions about my absence while letting people believe I crashed on a sofa in the guest lounge somewhere. The looks of sympathy thrown my way are as equally amusing as the team ribbing Novak for making me homeless.
Theo dumps himself into the seat next to me, grumbling under his breath about how I owe him. I’ll never admit it, but I do.
We’re well enroute to Toronto when he clears his throat loudly. Repeatedly. One of the perks of being chartered everywhere is having the comfort of a quieter flying experience. Novak’s barely concealed grin tells me I’m not getting that today.
“So. Moore’s cousin.”
I startle, throwing a glance around us to make sure no one heard.
“Don’t worry, he’s way in the back,” Theo assures me, dropping his voice for my benefit. “Seriously. Alia?” he asks again.
I can’t keep the goofy smile off my face.
“It was nice knowing you alive,” he scoffs. “You couldn’t find anyone else?”
“I could.”
“Then?”
“None of them made me feel like this.”
He nods, as if he gets it. Novak is the biggest playboy in our division, if not the entire Western Conference. I’m not sure what he thinks he understands but I am glad he’s stopped questioning me.
“What’s the plan?”
I spoke too soon.
“There’s none,” I admit. “I can’t get her out of my mind.”
“This can get messy,” he warns. “You can’t fuck around with a teammate’s family and not have a plan.” His seriousness is unlike his usually jovial persona, so I don’t make light of his concern.
“She doesn’t want a relationship.”
His brow lifts as he reads me. “But you do?”
“I’m. . . trying to figure that out.”
“I thought she’s going back to India.”
“That’s not set in stone,” I reply, even though that reminder certainly feels like a fucking boulder in my gut. “She could change her mind. She could stay.”
“You want her to stay?”
I shrug. I’m damned if I answer either way. I’m glad when our flight attendant interrupts our whispered discussion to offer us refreshments. I’m sure we look like gossipy old ladies. I snap my soda open while Theo flirts his way into another breakfast meal.
“So you do want to date her,“ he niggles, as soon as the attendant is out of earshot.
“Technically, I’m already dating her. She just doesn’t know it.”
“I thought you were smart,” he scoffs. “How do you date a woman without telling her that you’re dating her?”
“You agree to be her exclusive fuckbuddy and wait patiently until she figures things out.”
“I’d believe you if that vein on your forehead hadn’t popped when you said patiently,” Theo enunciates.
The fucker sounds so amused, I flash him a middle-fingered salute. His smirk widens.
“I can be patient,” I grit out.
“You couldn’t even wait to get back to the safety of your own city where you own a house to spend the night with the woman you’re crushing on. You risked him—” Theo dramatically mimes to the back of the plane “—finding out.”
“What was I supposed to do? Ignore her when she showed up?”
Theo’s eyes gleam, his smile spreading ear to ear. Like he’s found a special entertainment he’s excited to watch. I’m genuinely terrified.
“That’s exactly what you should do.” He claps like an excited seal. “Ignore her.”
“What?” I snap.
“You said she’s not sure about a relationship. Show her you can give her space. That it’s not all about the happy soldier.” He points south of my waistband, and I have to fight my instinct to slap a hand over my groin.
“Don’t nickname my dick ever again.”
“Is it the ranking?” he tuts patronizingly. “Do you want me to upgrade you to a sergeant?”
“I’m at least a general. And I can’t ignore her.” I physically can’t. It hurts my brain to even think it.
“Colonel, at best. And yes, you can. Text her, call her, but don’t let the colonel fire his shots.”
“For how long? I’m supposed to see her next weekend,” I grumble. I don’t know why I’m even listening to Novak, except this is new and maybe giving Alia space might be good. Showing her I can respect her wishes, unlike her asshole ex, might work in my favor.
My racing thoughts come to a screeching halt.
My favor? Since when does the idea of a relationship instead of whatever situationship Alia and I have embarked on sound appealing? My heart skips a beat.
I haven’t had such thoughts since Jenna.
Certainly not with any of the women that followed.
My breath shakes as I grip the armrest on either side for support.
Fuck, I’m getting carried away. Alia made it clear this morning we’re not dating.
Is it because she also thinks I’m not good enough for more?
Even if I want to, I can’t ignore the hurt weaving through me, disrupting my confidence.
Maybe some distance will give me perspective.
She asked for things to be slow and it took a shit ton of effort last night to not push her smooth thighs open and impale her on my cock. Just the memory of her moans, the way her pussy clenched around my fingers, has me hardening.
Theo snorts when I reach down to adjust myself.
“If I ever become this pathetic, shoot me.”
“Don’t tempt me,” I mutter, pulling my hat down to cover my red face. As I settle in to take a nap, I know Theo is right.
I’m pathetic for Alia, and I’m not certain there’s a cure.