Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
THORNE
Using the heel of my boot, I nudged my bike’s kickstand into position. With gentle guidance, I angled the handlebars before swinging my leg over the seat. Loosening the velcro, I tugged the gloves from my hands, making quick work of my helmet.
I was able to secure a parking spot right in front of the bar Matt and I had selected. Pity the poor bastard because, lacking my ability to slip into tight spaces, pun definitely intended, he had to park his car a few blocks down.
Alone—my least preferred form of existence. With various onlookers casting their attention my way, I merely raised an unamused brow and walked around the gaggle of women on the sidewalk who wasted no time letting me know they found me attractive.
If Oren were here… the cops would definitely be called.
Nudging the door open, I stepped inside with my helmet tucked under my arm.
With one quick once over, I fixated on a spot near the end of the bar and away from the rest of the patrons.
Slipping onto the leather barstool, I made myself as unpresentable as possible—arms folded over my chest with my “resting dick face,” as Oren called it, on full display—and trained my attention on the hockey game playing on the large flatscreen in front of me.
As the bartender worked her way to me, a hand clasped my shoulder, squeezing softly. “Resting dick face, huh?”
“Oh hell,” I groaned, rolling my eyes as Matt joined me at the bar. “You and Oren?”
“I mean, the man taught it to me. It’s fun to spite you every once in a while.” Grinning, his arms slapped against the table as he turned to face me. “So… What’s up?”
Without wasting a beat, I smirked. “How was your dick down?”
Rattling off his order to the sweet redhead behind the counter, he immediately whipped his head to me. “My what?”
Unbothered by his embarrassment, I glanced at the woman. “Whiskey neat, please?”
“Sure, doll.”
With her wandering off, I focused on Matt again. “I said, how was your dick down? You know? With Levander? Don’t tell me you didn’t get your cock wet, pussy.”
Matt rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth lifted. “I think soaked is the appropriate answer. The man is an innocent baby, but hell, he sure knows how to use his ass.”
“Innocent and corrupted by you?” Running a hand through my hair, I shook my head. “You are quite literally the worst influence we could’ve given him.”
“Or the best, depending on who’s asking.” Grabbing his drink from the bartender, he took a sip from his stout. “And I learned from the finest, commander.”
His tone was playful, hinting at not only our deep, intertwined past but all the moments we’d shared. There was a slight glossiness to his eyes, and while he didn’t outwardly state it, I knew he’d missed this, too.
Jutting my elbow into his side while he was mid-swig, I huffed a laugh. “Learned from the finest, huh? What did I teach you then, second?”
Spewing beer onto the bar, he quickly grabbed a napkin, wiping over the area while coughing. “J-Jesus… Wrong… Wrong pipe.”
Collecting himself, he brushed the wetness from his beard as the silence quickly turned into spouts of untamable joy. “God, you’re as delightful as ever. And yes, you’ve taught me everything. Especially how to have a relationship… I mean, a real one like you do with Oren.”
Now it was my turn to choke on the whiskey the bartender had slid toward me as she passed. “Relationship? You?”
Matt grinned. “Mhm. I have a boyfriend. Like… an actual one.”
“So you and Levander are… official?”
“Yes. I’m a Mafia housewife now.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Matthew.”
“Well… I think it’s time I quit the military, too. Stay here in the States.”
An ache cinched around my heart. “You’re leaving the ranks? For… For him?”
It wasn’t… jealousy, but I didn’t know how to label the emotion that rolled forward with his admittance.
Rubbing his neck, he nodded. “Not… Not necessarily just for him. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I miss it here. I miss… this.” He gestured to the bar, then to me. “The only reason I didn’t leave was that I didn’t have the funds to.”
Clenching my jaw, I turned my attention forward once more, fixating on the game as I took another swig. “Well, that’s exciting.”
“You know you can be upset, right? You’ve asked me before to leave, and I’ve always said no.
But now I do it for someone I’ve just met?
” His fingers drummed against the sticky surface.
“I’ve always wanted to leave. Well, the moment you left, so did I, but I stayed because it was the only thing I knew how to do well. ”
I intentionally swept my tongue across my canine with force, drawing blood. “And I told you we would figure it out.”
“You did… I just… I didn’t want to be a burden.”
Scratching at my stubble, I tapped my finger against the glass. “I already told you that you wouldn’t be. Countless times. But it’s alright. I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I know you did, but I let that thought outweigh the benefits. I am happy, but mostly because I have you back. I’ve missed this, missed us. There’s… There’s been a lot of wrong, and I know that scar still runs deep.”
Even deeper now that you’ve elected to prioritize a man you just met over me.
“How is this any different?” I asked, finally turning to look at him again.
“You sit here and say you didn’t want to be a burden, but then you take the same offer I gave you from Levander?
What? Is it because he’s a Mafia head and has loads of cash?
Because, as far as I’m aware, Matthew, I’m more than just well off. ”
Staring at me, he chewed on his bottom lip. “No… No, I see your point. You offered it multiple times, and I didn’t take it. But I do it for him? I-I would be pissed too. And no, it’s not the cash at all.”
“Then what the fuck is it?”
“I really like him,” he blurted, squeezing his glass.
“And I want to stay here for him and you. I’m tired of missing opportunities to hang out.
I’m tired of catching up every couple of months.
I want to be here for you, and I know it took me a damn long time to figure it out, but that’s why.
It’s not an excuse, and fuck, you have every right to be mad at me, but…
but that loneliness ate me alive. Loneliness that I pushed on myself, and you got hurt. ”
Scoffing under my breath, I rested my forearms on the bar top. “You wanted to stay here for him and then me. The importance speaks for itself, Matt.” My throat bobbed as I slammed the rest of my whiskey, waving toward the bartender for another. “I got it loud and clear, buddy.”
Running a hand through his hair, he pushed his drink away. “I didn’t mean it like that, but I understand. It… It makes it feel like I didn’t value our friendship, or that you weren’t enough. That’s never the case, Thorne.”
“No, because that is the case.” Not bothering to grant him any more of my attentiveness, I stared at the display of colored bottles on the back wall.
“It takes one offer from a man you just met to get you to stay here versus easily over ten offers from the one you supposedly claim is your best friend? Great, you like him. I’m happy for you.
But it’s also nice to learn that our connection was merely surface-level in your eyes. ”
He swallowed. “No, you’re right. It took one instance before I agreed—”
“Are you just going to keep fucking repeating what I’ve said as if it will negate anything? Or are you going to address it? Because this conversation has become a waste of my goddamn time.”
“I don’t know, okay? I don’t have an excuse.
I don’t view our friendship as surface-level.
You mean a lot to me, because you’ve always been there, but I haven’t!
” His fingers splayed against the counter.
“I don’t have any excuses because I fucked up.
I think part of me kept that distance so I wouldn’t hurt you again.
But it was the total opposite of what you needed, and yeah.
I don’t have any excuses, because there are none. ”
The bartender swung by, offering me the liquor I’d requested. Taking it from her, my question came with determined ease. “Can you close my tab?” With her nod serving as an answer, I slid my credit card across the bar, which she promptly snagged before slipping away.
Foot bouncing against the stool, I brought the glass to my lips, chugging its contents before slamming it back against the wood.
“Our friendship isn’t surface-level, yet when I offer you reprieve, when I beg you to stay, you refuse.
But as soon as a red-headed Mafia leader crawls into your life, there’s no rebuttal, not an ounce of fucking hesitation.
” Reaching for my helmet, I shook my head.
“And yeah, Thorne Graves, the man who gives everything to everyone just to be taken for granted time and time again. Believe me, I’m more than familiar. ”
Tossing his card onto the counter, he turned to me. “You give everything to everyone, over and over. I want the opportunity to fix this, fix us, and the few days you stayed at my place solidified it further—”
“Yeah? You want to fix this?” I watched as the bartender made her way back toward us with my card, Matt’s still resting on the bar; his delay in payment would serve as my opportunity to escape.
“Then maybe you should’ve considered that before you, yet again, chose someone else over your best friend. ”
“I’m not choosing him over you—”
My knuckles slammed against the wood. “Yes, you fucking are, Matthew. Just like that day in the hospital room with Oren when you refused to chase me. You are doing the same fucking shit here. Every offer, everything I did for you was overlooked the moment you accepted Levander’s kindness.
You chose to stay here because he wanted you to. Not me. Not your best friend. But him.”
“I didn’t chase you that day, but I am now.
I want to, and I will. I… I know because you’ve always offered me so much.
You’ve been nothing but kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
And I know you’re pissed. You have every right to be because, yet again, I’ve disregarded you, but I’m not leaving this time.
If you walk out, I’m following. I’m not doing a repeat of that day in the hospital, because it’s my biggest fucking regret. ”
Opening my mouth, the bartender cut me off. “Here’s your card, hon. You’re good to go.”
I took it from her fingers, sliding it back into my wallet as I tucked my helmet under my arm.
Pushing myself off the stool, I pivoted on my heel as I stepped around him and toward the exit.
“Well, since you’re more than willing to suck Levander’s cock over giving a damn about your friends, maybe ask your boyfriend if he can supply us men. We have shit to do.”
Without allowing him to reply, I walked past the various tables and out the door. Fishing my bike key from my pocket, I shoved it into the ignition before tossing my gloves onto the seat and donning my helmet. With my only desire settled on leaving, I straddled my bike.
Before I could take off, the bar door slammed open, Matt bolting to me as he fumbled to shove his card into his pocket. “Thorne… Thorne, wait, please.”
Flicking the key to the right, I cocked my head. “For what, Matthew?”
“For everything!” he breathed. “Shit, I’m sorry for not being there, for not listening, for hurting you and continuing to do it. But you mean everything to me. Our friendship means everything to me, and I’ve treated you like filth.”
Striations danced along my jaw, feathering against the inside of my helmet. “I’m used to it.”
“You… You shouldn’t have to be, Thorne. You mean everything. I know it doesn’t mean much right now, but I am. I’ll prove it to you by being here, always. Not… Not like I was before.”
Starting my bike, I called out over the engine, “Yeah. Except you’ve got far more pertinent priorities to focus on now.”
Without giving him the chance to reply, I shifted from neutral to first and sped down the road.