18. Emmett
CHAPTER 18
Emmett
“ S ir, I’ve dropped off Ms. Irving.”
I pause and look at Ty.
There’s nothing particularly important about the words he just said but the fact that he said them is what grabs my attention.
“Is there something wrong?”
“It’s a drug den, sir.”
I’ve seen all sorts of crap in this world. I might’ve been born into wealth and privilege, but Daphne Easton made sure I was aware of the world.
She made sure I had a complete worldview and not turn into a sheltered, prep-school jerk that looks down at people and I know Ty and Kai have both had a rough start to life, so if Ty is now reporting this, there must be something seriously fucked up about Angel’s new habitations.
“Well, if that’s what she wants.” I shrug, but unintentionally, there’s a simmer beneath my blood.
I don’t want to care.
I don’t want to think of her.
But the thing is, from the day we met, I’ve never had a choice when it comes to Angel.
She just barges into every thought, every ridiculous feeling and mundane task.
“Is she that broke?”
“Well, the place was paid for by one Jackson Geffreys.”
Jackson Geffreys? “Who the fuck is that?”
“He’s the one you had us look into a few days ago,” Ty says.
Ahh, he’s the fuckhead Astraea and Kimberly were talking about at Ivy’s dinner party. The shithead that thinks he’ll be having his way with Angel.
“What did you find?”
“That Jackson Geffreys came into existence over a year ago, sir.”
At that, I grab the file Ty offers and flip through the crap in there.
What the hell has Angel been doing?
“What shall we do, sir?”
I continue reading the full details in the file, then I toss the file onto my desk and pick up the contract in the black envelope, the same one Angel tossed at me when she refused to sign it.
“She’ll go upstate tonight, won’t she?” I ask Ty.
“Yes, sir.”
“And my cousin?”
“He’s getting ready to go, sir,” Kai responds curtly.
“Well, it looks like there’ll be fireworks tonight.”
I grab five bottles of pills that I have to pop every few hours and tonight, I need all the juice I can get.
“Let’s prepare.”
“Yes, sir,” they both reply.
IVY
“So?” Grammy starts.
“So?”
“You know what I’m asking. How is Baltimore?”
I balance my phone between my shoulder and ear as I try on the shoes I just bought from Zara.
After moving in a few hours ago, I went out to buy cleaning supplies.
I gagged over ten times, and scrubbed the floors five times, then deep-cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen just as much.
I won’t be sleeping here tonight—or ever—but I still asked the landlady to take the bed and couch after I found dead insects and something else I refused to examine closely.
I’m still a bit traumatized and a lot disgusted by this place, but at Grammy’s question, I immediately perk up.
She has this uncanny ability of fishing out lies in the simplest of responses.
“Oh, it’s so-so,” I murmur, staring at my iPad camera.
The mirror in the bathroom is cracked at the corners and down the middle. I won’t get into the superstition of that, so this is the only way I can check my outfit and makeup.
“The apartment was very dirty when I found it, so I had some cleaning up to do.”
“Even if it was clean, you’d still clean it twice over before you even sit down.” Grammy chuckles softly.
“It’s disgusting to just start living in a place a total stranger used to live in without cleaning it! You taught me that.”
“Yes, Pumpkin, and I support you in your quest to calm down the chaos in your head.”
I roll my eyes. “Grammy, would you rather I find another way to help me cope with that?”
“It would be nice if you gave yourself permission to be free and happy, which is why I’m so happy that you left Westbrook Blues.”
“You’re happy?” I mutter, as a tight squeeze captures my heart. “I thought you’d miss me.”
“You already know I miss you, baby girl. But I also know this town has been a pain for you. Great expectations sometimes have…”
“Great disappointment, yes, I remember.”
We fall silent for a bit.
Grammy always knew about my complicated feelings for a forbidden boy… but I guess she somehow knew that I’ve always been delusional.
So much so that I stuck around in the hopes that I’d be noticed.
How pathetic she must’ve thought I was.
“Okay, okay, so how do you like the big city? Have you already visited the school yet?”
Ah fuck…another wave of guilt.
“Um, not yet. I plan on going tomorrow. Today I just wanted to get settled.”
“Oh, and that friend of yours, will you meet up with him?”
“A friend of mine? Who are you talking about?”
“Kimberly said there’s a boy somewhere in the mix. A boy that your brother should look into, she said.”
Kimberly, that beautiful snitch! I liked her better when she was in her mind-her-damn-business era.
I make a mental note to text her a perfectly worded cursing out.
“There’s no need to include Samuel in this Grammy. Jackson is a friend I met online. You know many people have strong friendships and bonds with people they meet online. In Facebook groups. TikTok comments… didn’t you say you found your community of church-loving ladies online?”
“Yes, but this is a strange boy,” Grammy says, not budging one bit. If there’s one thing about Grammy, she’s persistent.
“You’re right. He might be strange, or he might be just what I need. Ever thought of that?”
She pauses. “When you put it that way…”
“You know I’m right! You did tell me when I left that I have to give life a chance. This is what I’m doing now. Giving it a huge swing.”
In more ways than just one, too.
I lied to Grammy that I stopped looking for my mother and my father.
I have secrets that might put my family in danger as well.
But when I said I’m over the past, over unrequited, messed-up crushes and over Westbrook Blues, I meant that.
“Well, if you ask me, it’s about time,” Grammy says.
“For what?”
“For that hope in your voice,” she says softly. “I mean, I’ve heard it before, but not with this much conviction.”
Yes… because the hope I used to have before was dipped in severe doubt, desperation, and insecurities.
I’m not saying I’ve healed… but there’s something about looking for someone who’s also looking for you that just boosts the confidence of broken, lonely souls.
I just hope that my father isn’t disappointed by what he finds when we meet tonight.
“I miss you already, Grammy,” I tell her softly. “And I’m ready to go on this journey.”
“I know you are. I just hope you stay safe and don’t put yourself under pressure. Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone. You are already talented, unique, and intelligent, and any institution in this world would be lucky to have you.”
Another pang of guilt slams into my chest.
How long will I be able to keep this up?
I mean, I’ve already put a program on my phone that blocks my location. I’ve set up a virtually private network and located it for Baltimore but if Samuel tries to find me, it’ll take a moment, but he will.
“Hey, Grammy, have you talked to Samuel yet?”
“I was just about to ask you. Since he left, I haven’t been able to reach him.” Grammy’s voice becomes a bit serious.
“Do you know where he went?” I ask. I know that she knows. Grammy and Samuel are still as tight as thieves.
“Come on, Ivy, your brother doesn’t exactly tell me everything.”
“But you do know that whatever he’s doing right now is different from the usual.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because for the first time in years, I can tell you’re worried about him.”
“Actually, for the first time in years, I’m worried about you,” she counters.
Silence falls over the line.
“I know you’ve been unhappy with Samuel lately, Pumpkin, but you have to understand, he does what he does because he only wants to protect you and keep you safe.”
“Yes, but I am safe,” I mutter, my chest tightening. “There’s no danger in my life. If anything, you can agree that my life is boring and nothing ever happens.”
“That’s not true. Danger is always around the corner.”
“Grammy, you know what I mean.”
I hear her sigh and then she clears her throat.
“Listen, I’m about to start my shift but I wanted to make sure you arrived safely and that everything is fine. As for your brother and myself, don’t worry. Everything is all right. All the ghosts of the past have been settled.”
Well, not really.
“And, Ivy dear, there’s nothing wrong with being boring,” she suddenly says the words so softly, I almost miss them. “Boring is safe. Boring is peaceful. Boring sometimes gives way to a well-balanced life.”
Another wave of guilt washes over me.
“Yeah, you’re right! The only problem with that is I grew up close to the heirs of Westbrook Blues… I’ve lived my life vicariously through them.”
Grammy chuckles.
“Those kids have settled down as well. The years of grappling and fighting are done, so now my wish for all of you is that you all live happily, healthy, and safe.”
When we hang up, I can’t help but feel apologetic for what I’m about to do.
Grammy has been adamant about me letting go of those that never wanted me.
She’s right, of course, and in one area, I’ve managed to do that, but see, deep inside is still a little girl that just wanted to be like other kids.
To have a mother. A father. Parents. The two people that kids are conditioned to love no matter what.
So now, here I am.
There’s no turning back.
Feeling incredibly uncertain but excited, I make my way into the dimly lit bar with happy music playing.
New York City is an electric buzz of energy at all times, it seems, but so am I.
My stomach is in knots.
I’m literally about to meet the guy I’ve only ever talked to via gaming and texts.
I’ve heard his voice, of course, but I’ve never quite heard his name before and I met him just before Melissa contacted me.
I’m so grateful for Jackson because unlike my Westbrook Blues friends, he never tried to make me feel like I need a ‘there, there’ pat on the shoulder.
He just let me speak and unload my burdens as we played games.
I made a friend and now, I’m about to meet him.
“Good evening, what would it be for the beautiful lady?” the bartender asks when I take a seat at the bar.
“Uh, yeah. I’m meeting a friend, so I’ll wait.”
“A friend?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you met this friend before?”
If she’s asking that, then I guess I really do look out of place here.
“No, we met online.”
“Sis, better be careful with these online people. You never know,” she says, looking directly at me.
“Of course. Let’s see how it goes.”
“Well, order a flash bomb if you need help.”
I realize then that ‘flash bomb’ is a code word. Being a woman is so hard at times. Can’t even live without contingency plans all over the place.
“Thanks, girl!”
As she winks and walks away to serve another person, I pull out my phone, about to text Jackson. The good thing is, the bar he chose was a few blocks away from the hellish place I left my stuff packed and ready to go for later.
Someone taps me on the shoulder.
Startled, I turn around and come face to face with a handsome, tall guy.
His eyes are dark, with a buzz cut, and a slightly crooked nose as if it was broken before.
But beyond all that, he’s actually handsome, looks a bit shy and uncertain, but handsome.
“Ivy?” he starts, and I recognize his voice immediately.
“Jackson?”
“I knew it was you as soon as my eyes landed on the most stunning girl in the city.”
“In the city?” I laugh. “That’s a bit much.”
“I speak the truth.”
He makes a move to hug me but I sidestep so it’s a side hug.
“Hello!” I say, clearing my throat. “We finally meet face to face.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day,” he says as he pulls the stool next to mine and takes a seat.
“I really thought after I beat your high score you’d come after me with a pitchfork or something.”
“Well, I’m still a bit butthurt about that but let’s save the gore for another day,” he says with a chuckle. “Welcome to the Big Apple! How are you finding it so far?”
“It’s only been a few hours but I feel overwhelmed.”
“That’ll happen more and more,” he says with a smile as he subtly checks me out.
Actually, he’s been checking me out from the moment I turned around to look at him.
“Have you ordered yet?”
“No, but I also don’t have time for a drink. I actually just wanted to meet you and say thank you so much.”
“The place is probably horrible but you cleaned it up really well.”
I pause. “Huh? How did you know that I cleaned up?”
He smiles almost smoothly. “Don’t you remember the times you’d rage clean to calm yourself down before taking an exam this last year of college?”
At that, I laugh. “Yeah, that was a crazy time.”
“Yeah, but you made it!”
“Well, not quite. There’s still a long way to go,” I say, looking away. I really don’t want to talk about school right now because it’ll only remind me of the felon I’ve become.
“Yeah, but you got this!” he says, nudging me slightly. “Have a drink with me.”
“Uh, I really have to run.”
He pouts adorably, which makes me laugh. “You’re really just going to meet me and dip?”
“Well, the good news is I’m here for a while, so we can meet a lot.”
“I was actually planning to do more than meet you. I have plans.”
Mt stomach starts knotting with nerves. “Plans?”
“Yes,” he says in a low voice. “Plans.”
“Well,” I clear my throat. “There’ll be time for that later. For tonight, I’ll take a rain check.”
“Because you’re going to meet your father for the first time?”
Again, I pause. My mind starts buzzing.
“I told you about that?”
“Yeah, you’ve been nervous about that for a while.”
“Oh, yeah.” I smile, but already I can feel the goosebumps forming at the back of my neck.
What am I going to say to this man?
Am I going to ask him why he never looked for me?
Is he going to mention my mother?
“Hey, everything will be okay,” Jackson suddenly says with a huge smile as if he’s in on a secret I don’t know. “You got this.”
“I’d like to borrow your confidence then.”
“Oh, I can loan it to you, so long as you pay back with interest.”
Another burst of laughter escapes me.
I was on alert for no reason. This is the Jackson I know.
The Jackson that makes me laugh. I don’t know why I was feeling apprehensive.
“I can’t wait to get to know you better,” I say.
“Oh, you will,” he says, and then he winks.
New York City, you are about to be my entire future!