Chapter Twenty-Four Caterina
Just before seven, I stood before the full-length mirror in the bedroom. As I stared at my reflection, it was like seeing a stranger before me. I barely recognized the woman in the skin tight dress, the flowing wavy locks, and heavy makeup.
Guilt, my almost constant companion since leaving the order, rippled through me. A month ago I would’ve been in my plain blue skirt and white blouse. My hair would’ve been swept into a ponytail. My time would’ve been consumed by caring for others unlike today where it was focused on frivolous things like shopping for a dress to make my husband desire me.
Callum was right. I had turned into a fallen woman.
Unable to bear my reflection any longer, I stepped away from the mirror. Just as I reached around to unzip my dress, a knock at the door startled me. “Yes?”
Seamus stepped inside. At the sight of me, his eyes bulged somewhat comically out of their sockets. “I, uh…” He swallowed hard. “Callum asked me to tell you it was time to go.”
I held my hand up. “Don’t worry. I’m not leaving the house in this scrap of a dress because I’m not going to the club.”
Shaking his head, he closed the door behind him. “But you were so adamant about going at breakfast this morning.”
“I know. I was.”
“So what changed your mind?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
He crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Try me.”
“This dress…it makes me feel guilty about leaving the order. I feel like I’ve lost myself.” I swallowed down the tears threatening to fall. “I feel like I’ve lost my faith.”
Seamus apprised me silently. After a few moments passed, he stepped towards me. “The vast majority of Catholics don’t hold positions in the clergy. Does that mean their faith and their works matter less than those of nuns and priests?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then why do you doubt the commitment to your faith simply because your life has changed?”
I sighed exasperatedly “I don’t know–I just do.”
“A wise person once said that the love of a man and woman is holy. And that just because you love a man, it doesn’t mean you love God less.” At what must’ve been my shock about him alluding to me loving Callum, he smiled. “I said that just to show you that marriage can be honorable.”
“It’s a very wise sentiment.”
“Aye, I thought as much.”
“Who was it that said it?”
Seamus winked at me. “Mother Superior in The Sound of Music.”
A laugh burst from my lips. “I thought it sounded familiar.”
“I imagined you might appreciate the reference.”
“I’m surprised you know it.”
“It was one of my late wife’s favorite movies.”
My heart ached for the anguish in his eyes. “I’m very sorry for your loss. And for the loss of your son,” I said.
“Thank you, lass. I didn’t tell you all of that to make you sad.”
“I know. And you didn’t.”
“Did you at least change your mind about seeing a marriage as honorable as being a nun?”
“Yes, I can see it as honorable.” I motioned to my dress. “But this?”
With a chuckle, Seamus said, “That dress is sin.”
I rolled my eyes. “I knew it.”
“But it’s a necessary sin.”
“I don’t think I was schooled on that in my classes at the order.”
As a smirk curved on his lips, Seamus asked, “Are you wearing that dress to entice me?”
A shriek of horror escaped my lips. “Absolutely not!”
“Are you wearing it to entice the men at the club?” When I shook my head furiously from side to side, Seamus leaned closer to me. “Caterina, are you wearing that dress to entice your husband?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He smiled. “Then it’s a necessary sin.”
I nodded. “I think I get it now.”
“Good.”
“Caterina, let’s go!” Callum barked from downstairs.
Seamus grinned. “Go on and knock him dead.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded. “More than anything else, go and have some fun. You’re young, and after all you’ve been through in the last few years, you deserve to be carefree.”
Although I still wasn’t totally convinced, I decided it was worth a try. After bestowing a quick kiss on Seamus’s cheek, I replied, “Thank you.”
Raised voices filled my ears as I made my way down the hallway. “Caterina!” Callum shouted.
“I’m here!” I called from the top of the staircase.
When I started down the stairs, talking silenced in the foyer. I bit down on my lip not to laugh from the expressions on their faces. Although it was nice seeing the effect the dress had on Quinn, Dare, and Kellan, my attention focused only on Callum.
After reaching the last step, Callum barreled through his brothers to stand before me. “What the fuck, Caterina?” Callum demanded.
“Is there a problem?” I asked with doe-eyed innocence.
“I told you under no circumstances were you to get that dress!”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.”
“And you chose to defy me?” he growled.
“After all the dresses I tried on, this was my favorite.”
Although Callum shook with rage, I wasn’t afraid. Reaching out, I patted his arm. “Don’t worry. I have a coverup.”
He eyed me curiously. “You do?”
“Just let me grab it out of the closet.”
When I walked away, I felt Callum’s eyes boring into my back or more precisely into my butt. I grabbed a sheer, silver shawl out of the closet. After I’d slid it onto my arms, I turned around. “See?”
While Dare threw back his head with a laugh, Quinn and Kellan hid their laughter behind their hands. “That doesn’t cover shit,” Callum growled.
“Oh, okay. Then I won’t worry about it.” I stripped it off my arms and threw it back into the closet.“Ready?”
When his blue eyes turned black, I took a step back and debated whether I”d perhaps gone too far. “Leave us,” he instructed in a low voice.
“We’ll meet you there,” Quinn replied.
As I watched their retreating forms, I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to run after them. Like a wolf stalking its prey, Callum began to circle me, his steps echoing off the marble floor. In that moment, I knew I’d made a very big mistake.