Chapter 8 Phoenix
Phoenix
The second the music hit full volume, the feed went to shit. No voices, just a heavy-handed middle finger through the speakers, telling me I wasn’t welcome.
So now I’m here, standing outside her door, about to meet the best friend.
I’m not expecting her to smile or invite me in, but that’s fine.
She doesn’t have to like me right away. She just has to understand that I’m not going anywhere.
She’ll come around eventually, especially when she realizes she’s probably going to be the one holding Shannen’s bouquet while I slide a ring on her finger.
The music suddenly lowers, the door opens, and standing in front of me is the brunette who can’t be more than five feet tall. She’s got no clue who I am, at least not by face, because she’s looking at me like I might be the best thing she’s laid eyes on all week.
“Where are you delivering from? Because I want a menu and a number.”
I tilt my head, genuinely confused for half a second as her gaze lingers on my tattoos, my body, and the way I'm filling the doorway. Feral little thing. I didn't expect her to look at me like that, but I'll let her have her moment before reality ruins it.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Shannen appears behind Lianna, frozen mid-step, with two glasses clutched in one hand and a bottle of wine dangling from the other.
“What?” Lianna glances back at her, confused by the sudden shift in energy. But Shannen doesn’t answer her. She’s too busy staring at me, and I’m too busy staring back.
God, she’s stunning.
Barefoot, defensive, and already mad at me for breathing the same air as her.
“Oh, hell no,” Lianna hisses, and just like that, her curiosity melts into fire. She remains standing between us, protective and pissed, her whole body radiating I fucking dare you energy. “Step one foot in here, and I swear I’ll rip your pretty fucking face off.”
I smile at the little demon. I can’t help it.
I dip my chin and drag my gaze off her and right back to Shannen—because I get it. These two are ride or die. She’d torch the sun for my girl, and I respect the hell out of it.
“Don’t look at her.” Lianna steps forward, closing the distance as if she might actually try to beat my ass. “I’m talking to you, asswipe.”
I level my gaze at Lianna. She’s small, ferocious, with pit bull energy compressed into five feet of rage.
“The only way you get to come in here is if you take the cameras with you.”
“Which cameras?” I ask innocently. “The one in her bedroom? Living room? Or the backup one I installed in case she found the first?”
Lianna’s face goes nuclear the second I speak.
“I know you don’t know me, but I know you, and I get why you’re pissed. But I wanna thank you for being for her what I wasn’t and should’ve been.”
“Are you always this manipulative?” she snaps.
“Yes,” Shannen answers before I can.
“I’m serious. I’m not here to start shit. I just wanted to meet you. You’re important to her, and that matters to me.”
She points a red-tipped finger at me, her eyes wild, ready to tear me open. “You… fuck, I don’t even know what to say. But if you hurt her, I’ll end you. No snapped spine, no overdose—I’ll slice you from your hairline to your balls, and I’ll laugh while I do it.”
She’s the female version of me.
That’s why Shannen chose her.
Same frequency.
Same fire.
“I’d never hurt her, and if I did, I’d hand you the knife.”
Lianna groans, rolls her eyes so hard I think she sees heaven, and tips her head back like I’m the most exhausting thing she’s ever had to face.
“Fuck me, Shannen. Come deal with him… I can’t… He’s saying all the right things, and I’m into it, and I’m not gonna be helpful because he’s just agreeing with me.”
She walks away, taking the wine and glasses from Shannen’s hands while my girl steps closer to the door. I drink her in, greedy for every second, before she finally closes it in my face.
I stay there for a moment, my jaw tight, then pull out my phone, thumb the screen, and watch them on the feed. Shannen’s on the couch beside Lianna now, wine in hand.
“So,” Lianna says, taking a large sip. “That’s him.”
“Yep.”
“He’s… annoyingly hot.”
“I know.”
Lianna smirks and sets the glass down beside her. “Yeah, you’re so screwed.”
Lianna’s sleeping like the dead, sheets wrapped around her in a cocoon, while Shannen lies beside her, looking so serene it almost hurts to watch.
My girl’s silk shorts are riding low on her hips, and she’s wearing a matching shirt that’s barely buttoned—five pathetic little buttons keeping me from everything I need.
I stand there in the darkness, watching her breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
I want to drop to my knees and lay my head on her chest. I want to hear her heart pounding beneath the fabric and see if it still beats in time with mine—because I’m sure it does.
We’ve been synced since we were kids, two fucked-up souls orbiting each other in the dark.
But right now, I just wanna lie there, close my eyes, and sleep to the sound of the organ pumping life through her beautiful body.
I’m pretty sure she thought having company would keep me away. It’s a nice idea, but nothing keeps me from her anymore. Not locked doors. Not people. I’ve even stood over her bed while another man lay beside her.
Never again.
That kind of pain changes a man.
I crouch down beside Shannen now and just… take her in.
I lift her hand, careful not to wake her, and lightly graze my lips along her knuckles. She doesn’t stir. I stand back up, forcing myself to let go, even though I want to hold on tighter.
With one last look at my girl, I drag myself downstairs, taking the steps slowly until I round the corner to my floor. I’m two steps from my door when a voice cuts through the quiet.
“Hey, assbutt!”
I stop dead.
That dirty little faker.
She got me. I’ll give her that. I didn’t even hear her sneaking up behind me, which is impressive, considering I’m usually hyperaware of my surroundings.
“You can’t just break into her apartment and breathe over her. It’s fucking creepy. Hot, but creepy, and I will not have her uncomfortable living her life.”
“You wanna come in?” I ask, watching as she angrily marches toward me in her pajamas, barefoot on the cold hallway floor.
“No, I don’t want to come in. I’ve got too much to live for to be silenced by my best friend’s stalker.”
Ballsy little thing. I can see why Shannen keeps her.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I wouldn’t do that.”
She cocks her head. “I wonder if that bitch with the messed-up spine thought the same.”
“She deserved it. You don’t. You’re the best person in Shannen’s life.”
She rolls her eyes and waves toward my door, like she’s already regretting it. I open it and step aside, and she moves past me, scanning the room as if she’s waiting for a severed head to roll out from under the couch.
“This isn’t exactly what I imagined.”
“No?”
“No,” she says, pulling a small knife from the waistband of her shorts and twirling it like she’s done this before. “I was expecting surveillance screens, weapons, maybe a corpse or two. You’re kind of disappointing, actually.”
“My housekeeper’s got Mondays reserved for body disposal,” I shoot back, watching the flex of her fingers, knowing she could launch at me at any moment because she’s fucking unpredictable. “Are you planning on doing something with that?”
“Still deciding. Now sit.” I blink because what the fuck. “Dude, I’m serious. I’ll fucking gut you if you keep standing there like that. You’re what, six feet? Now sit your giant ass down while we talk.”
I raise my hands in surrender and drop onto the couch, biting back a laugh. “I’m actually six-three.”
She groans, dragging the blade’s handle across her forehead. “Of course you are. Jesus, she never stood a chance.”
“Listen, I’m an open book. Whatever you want to know, ask. But I’m not leaving her. Am I clear? That’s not up for debate. I’ve been here this whole time, and that doesn’t change just because it makes other people uncomfortable.”
She crosses her arms, eyes narrowing. “Why would you keep doing this to yourself? If she wanted you, she’d be with you.”
“Come on, you know better than that. She still loves me. Maybe not in a way that makes sense to anyone else, but deep down, where it hurts?” I tap my chest lightly. “That part’s still mine.”
She holds my gaze, clearly irritated that this isn't going the way she thought it might. “I’m not your friend.”
“I figured.”
“And I’ll never go against her.”
“I know.”
She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “But I think you know too much for me to stand here and lie, so… yeah, maybe you’re not wrong. Doesn’t mean I like what you’re doing.”
“You don’t have to like it.”
“She doesn’t like it. That’s the point.”
I pause. “Okay, maybe that’s fair.”
“You’ve got to let her breathe.”
“I’ve been letting her breathe for years.
I’ve stood back and watched her live some half-life, sleep in the wrong beds, fake her way through happiness, and let men touch her who didn’t deserve to even look at her.
I waited while she tried to forget me. And it doesn’t work. It never does, so now things change.”
“But you’ve been watching her this whole time?”
“Yeah,” I admit, no hesitation, no apology. “I have.”
“That’s not fair to her.”
“You might not understand it, and I’m not asking you to, but I needed it for reasons I’ve already explained to Shannen.” I start to stand, and the flash of metal stops me. “Fuck me, really?”
“I don’t know,” she says dryly, twirling the blade once more. “I’ve read too many books, and you look like the type who’d get off on the threat.”
That actually makes me grin. “You’ve got a fucked-up sense of humor.”
“Comes from dealing with crazy, obsessed bastards like you.”
“Devoted.”
“Delusional.”
“Semantics.”
Lianna exhales hard, setting the knife down on the TV unit with a little clink.
“Look, you have to give her time. The fact that you even exist the way you do is already too much for her to process. I don’t need to tell you how deep her abandonment issues go.
You were there. I wasn’t. I only know the stories.
But you saw it all firsthand, and you left her.
You left her when she was terrified and vulnerable, and you think that ever just…
disappears? You think she’s going to believe you’ll stay now?
No. She’s not stupid, and she’s not healed, and you’re clearly smart enough—psychotic tendencies aside—to know this is going to take work. ”
“I won’t leave.”
“Yeah, I got that,” she says flatly. “Listen, out of the two of us, she’s the rational one. I’d have probably stripped you of that V-card and made you swear your undying love before the condom even hit the trash. But that’s me. I’m a mess. She’s not.”
I arch a brow. “Are you sure about that?”
“Okay, fine. She is to a point. She could probably do with some help.”
“She’s had help.”
“Does it feel like it worked?” Lianna counters, and my eyes drift toward the ceiling—toward where she’s sleeping above us—and I don’t answer.
I don’t have to. “Exactly… and honestly, I don’t think therapy will help.
She knows her problems. She knows where they stem from, so really, it’s going to take a leap of faith from her. ”
“And you think I’m that leap?”
“Fuck if I know,” she says, throwing her hands up.
“Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is, on the outside, she’s stable, all business, and perfectly put together.
But on the inside, she’s troubled as hell, and this is nothing I wouldn’t say to her face—I have said it to her face, actually—but I’m irrational in my best moments, so she probably doesn’t take my advice seriously. ”
“She took your masked-stranger idea and fucking ran with it.”
“And if she hadn’t, you’d still be here jacking off to a camera feed, like some pussy-starved stalker lizard.” I start to laugh, and so does she, the sound slipping out before she can catch it. “Stop… I’m not meant to like you.”
“Well, I like you,” I say, because it’s true and because I’m sure it pisses her off. “And hopefully, one day we can be friends, or it’ll be awkward as hell when you’re her maid of honor.”
“Please, she’d never ask me. She knows better than to hand me a microphone at a wedding. Or put me in front of a crowd, period.”
“Neither of us has any family, so I’m sure she’ll just want something small.”
She squints at me, like she’s trying to figure out whether I’m joking or actually planning our wedding. “Jesus fucking Christ. You are… I don’t even know what you are. But whatever it is? You need to calm the fuck down and give her space. See if she reaches for you.”
“Yeah, I don’t like that idea.”
“Tough shit. It’s the only shot you’ve got at not fucking this up.” She picks up the knife before heading toward the door. “I’m going back to bed. Now, as weird as this has been, I hope you were actually listening. And while I’m staying here, back off. My secrets aren’t for your ears.”
“Are you sure? I can hook you up with twins.”
She stops mid-step, then looks back at me. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, they’re good friends of mine.”
“That’s not really the flex you think it is, considering you’re out of your fucking mind,” she says, continuing toward the door. “Oh, one more thing. Do you have her sketchbook?”
I say nothing.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” Her jaw tenses, and the humor drains from her completely. “She loves that thing, and I know you know that. So give it back.”
She flips me off with a grin and walks out, leaving me alone in the silence.