Chapter 22
Phoenix
I’m too far in my head.
I’m trapped in a place I can’t claw my way out of on my own, where everything’s twisted and dark, but somehow she burns the noise down until there’s nothing left but her.
I follow the trail of lace she left for me, and by the time I step into her room, I’m already gone.
She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me from under her lashes, bare and breathtaking—fucking divine.
Her flame-red hair drapes over her shoulders, spilling down her chest in waves that make my fingers itch to fist in it.
Her legs are parted just enough so I can see how wet she is, glistening in the low light, and fuck, I want to drop to my knees and worship her.
“Clothes off, Phoenix,” she demands, and I obey.
I pull my shirt off, then shove my sweats and boxer briefs down until they’re nothing but a pile on the floor. She watches me, caressing her own body—hands trailing down her neck, between her breasts, and lower until she’s stroking her pussy.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think.
“Fuck…” I growl, watching the way her fingers circle and tease her swollen clit.
She must realize I’m losing my fucking mind.
Every drop of blood in my veins rushes straight to my cock until it’s aching and demanding attention. I wrap my hand around myself, tight, dragging my thumb over the head and smearing the wetness already there. It should take the edge off, but it doesn’t. It only makes it worse.
“What do you need from me, pretty girl?”
“You already know.”
Three words from those full lips, and my body shudders.
Because I do know.
She’s going to take, and I’m going to let her pull me out of my own head and back into my body.
She stands slowly and walks toward me, closing the distance until she’s pressed against my chest. My hands go straight to her breasts, palming their weight, my thumbs stroking over her nipples until they peak beneath my touch.
She leans in, her breath hot against my skin, and drags her tongue slowly over one of mine, a filthy little flick, and fucking hell…
“Fuck me…” I groan, my head falling back, my hips twitching toward her. “Do it again.”
She doesn’t.
Because she’s in control.
Instead, she lifts her head, and those golden eyes burn into mine, like embers catching fire in the dark.
“I need to taste you, and this time you’re going to let me.”
She moves around my naked body, gripping my waist, her fingertips featherlight, teasing my skin until I feel her lips on the wings tattooed across my back. She kisses her mark, then rises to her toes, her lips brushing my ear.
“Sit on the bed.”
I step forward and sit down. I’m resting back on my hands, my arms locked, watching her as if I’m in some kind of trance. I can’t take my eyes off her as she follows and sinks gracefully to her knees between my spread legs.
Her mouth on my cock is all I’ve thought about for years—nights I couldn’t sleep, my fist clenched around my dick, thinking about how warm and wet and fucking perfect it’s going to be. How she’d look with her mouth full of me. How she’ll sound when I hit the back of her throat.
But it’s more than just this hunger.
It’s fucking intimate.
Because Shannen, on her knees between my legs, sucking my cock? Yeah. That’s about to become one of my favorite things on earth.
Her mouth hovers at my neck, and the second her tongue drags along my skin, my eyes roll back into my skull.
“Fuck,” I whisper—maybe I moan. It’s hard to tell at this point.
She lowers, her tongue flicking my nipple again, and I have a full-body reaction. I jerk so hard I nearly fucking levitate.
I don’t even know when I started gripping the sheets, but now I’m clutching them like they’re the only thing keeping me tethered to this dimension. All she’s done is flick her damn tongue, and I’m sitting here, spine stiff, my jaw clenched so hard I’m sure I’m about to crack a tooth.
Her hands run up my thighs, nails scratching, leaving fire in their wake. She lowers her head… one breath, one more beat of my racing heart, and that first slide of her tongue is everything I thought it would be and still somehow more.
“Jesus—fuck—Shannen—”
I can’t feel my legs, and I don’t care if I ever do again.
That’s my first thought.
The second is that I might actually die.
“Fuuuck—” The word rolls off my tongue raw and wrecked, my head falling back as her hot, wet mouth wraps around my dick.
“Eyes on me, Phoenix.”
My eyes snap open, my neck straining as I force myself to look, and fuck me—she’s looking up at me, her lips stretched around my cock, spit pooling at the corners of her mouth, cheeks hollowed as she pulls back torturously slow, then takes me even deeper.
The sight wrecks me.
My stomach clenches, and my thighs twitch. I’m already too close, and we’ve barely started.
“Mmm… good boy.” She hums, pulling off just enough to speak.
Good boy.
I need to hear her say that again.
I need her to say it a thousand more times.
I need her to tell me I’m good for her, that I please her, and that despite every dark thing I am, I’m exactly what she wants.
She flattens her tongue and licks the underside of the head, and stars explode behind my eyes.
“Holy shit.”
One hand rips free of the death grip I had on the sheets just so I can tangle my fingers in her hair. Not to guide her or hold her down because I couldn’t control a fucking thing right now if I tried.
“Jesus, baby… it feels so good.”
She takes me deep, and I hear her gag, feeling her throat constrict around me. How the fuck I manage not to come at that moment is beyond me.
“I’m not going to last—”
My fingers tighten in her hair, and I pull her head back, probably too rough, but she moans and smiles up at me with swollen lips and shimmering eyes.
I need to kiss her.
I lunge forward, thrusting my tongue into her mouth and tasting myself on her lips.
She tries to move, but I hold her there—one hand fisted in her hair, the other already reaching into the drawer beside her bed.
I don’t even have to look.
I know what I’m searching for.
My fingers close around her little clit-sucker, the one I’ve watched her use a hundred times before.
“Phoenix—”
“I want you to come with my cock in your mouth, and I’m not going to be able to hold back much longer.” I hand it to her, and she slides it between her thighs. “Now show me.”
She eases back onto her heels as she presses the toy against herself and gently rocks her hips. I’m precumming my fucking balls off, and when her eyes drop to my cock, she grips me and licks—just one long, slow drag of her tongue from base to tip, then wraps her lips around the head and sucks.
“I love the way you taste,” she murmurs before taking me back in.
Both hands tangle in her hair, and we move together—her mouth working me, my hips rocking up in shallow thrusts I can’t control anymore.
She pulls back again, and the sight of her nearly kills me.
Spit trails from her lips to my cock as she looks up with that perfectly ruined mouth—lips puffy and glossy, mascara smudged at the corners of her eyes.
“Fuck my mouth, Phoenix.”
I stand as instinct takes over, and she stays exactly where I need her—knees spread, the toy still humming between her legs.
For a second, I just stare.
She pinches her nipple between her fingers, rolling it, arching her back as pleasure ripples through her, and I swear my knees almost give out.
“Jesus fuck… are you trying to kill me?”
She just smiles because yeah, she probably is, and I’d die happy like this.
I thrust into her mouth, chasing my orgasm like a fucking animal, and the filthy wet sounds she’s making are about to undo me.
“You look so perfect with your lips stretched around my cock, pretty girl. If I didn’t get off on hearing you say my name, I’d keep your throat full of me every second of the fucking day.”
Her eyes squeeze shut, and her moan vibrates around me as her orgasm starts to crest. I pull out fast, my hand wrapping around my dick, because I need to watch her come.
“That’s it, Shannen. Work that pussy and fucking come for me.”
She rides it out, her back arching, head thrown back, mouth open in a silent scream. Then the most beautiful noise breaks free, and I swear it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking heard. She comes back to earth slowly, her chest heaving, eyes glazed, and reaches for me.
“Tongue out.”
Her lips part wide, that perfect pink tongue sliding out—waiting, wanting, offering herself up to me like a sacrifice on the altar of my hunger.
“Keep it there. Don’t fucking move.”
It only takes seconds of me fisting my cock before my balls draw up and a full-body roar rips straight out of my chest. I explode, thick ropes of cum coat her tongue, and while I’m still pulsing, she surges forward and seals her lips around me.
“Fuck, that’s it, baby. Swallow it for me.” My fingers tighten in her hair to stop myself from collapsing on top of her as another pulse forces its way through me.
My mind goes blank.
My body is completely useless.
I feel her throat work around me, swallowing everything I give her, and I’m trembling above her.
I go boneless as I pull out and fall onto the bed.
Leaning back, I let out a laugh because, fuck me, that was one of the best moments of my life, and right now I need to try to remember how to breathe.
She climbs my body, and I pull her into my chest so she’s leaning on me, looking down at me with those golden eyes still dark with pleasure.
“That was—” I start, but I shake my head because words don’t feel like enough.
“Everything a little quieter now?” she asks, running her nails through my hair, making me melt into the mattress.
I nod, pulling her down to kiss her. “Yeah, baby. So much quieter.”
We lie there comfortably, holding each other, and I feel nothing like I did earlier.
I was full of rage.
Rage I couldn't take out on him.
Rage I'd never take out on her, and yet she stood in my flames as I burned.
She found a way to reach me.
Her touch and the way she loves me, even when I'm probably a fucking nightmare to be near—that's what brought me back to her.
“Are you okay?”
“I am… but I don’t think you are.” Confusion hits me, but I give her space to talk through whatever she’s holding in. “You could barely look at me at the office.”
“I wasn’t okay then.”
“I know, and I think I know why, but I also don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say.”
I tighten my arms around her, pressing another kiss to her hair. “You know me, baby. I’ll take whatever you’ve got, so just say it.”
She takes a breath deep enough that my gut tenses.
“You have to stop watching me. Remove the cameras. Trust me. Trust in us and let go of that compulsion to have eyes on me all the time. It’s not healthy, Phoenix. Not for you or for me, but mostly for you.”
Every instinct I have is desperate for me to argue, to defend myself, and to tell her she doesn’t understand what it was like for me before. That I’m never going to change, and I’ve made peace with this version of myself. The words are right there, but when I really look at her, I understand.
She’s not asking me to stop loving her.
She’s asking me to love her without the cage.
“I can control it.”
“Can you?”
If it's hurting her, I'll stop.
Fuck. I don’t know if I can.
I have to take the first step, even if it kills me.
“How about this?”
I hate this already, but hey, look at me, compromising. I’m gonna go ahead and call that growth.
“I leave the tracker on your phone and take the cameras out of here, but the ones in your office stay because I won’t allow you to be alone with Lawson. That’s not negotiable.”
“How about you take the cameras out of here, leave them in the office, track my location but not my emails or messages anymore… and move in with me.”
“What was that?”
“Like you ever had any intention of sleeping away from me again.”
“You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
My heart drops somewhere out of the fucking world, and I kiss her over and over, laughing into her mouth and nodding like an idiot, because she just handed me my whole future in one sentence.
“I love you, pretty girl.”
“I love you too, Phoenix Cassidy.”