22. Ivy
Ivy
I’m shell-shocked.
Bamboozled.
Hoodwinked.
Perturbed.
And running out of synonyms to describe the absurdity that just transpired in this dilapidated garden of both hidden beauty and horror.
Chief among them being, I’M FREAKING MARRIED!
What the hell?
Oh, I forgot one more.
I’m LIVID!
And Emmett doesn’t care. He just stands tall in front of his family calmly, with a quiet, unshakable confidence oozing from him. Unlike me, he’s completely in his own world, unperturbed and disinterested, as if the image of hundreds of tough-looking men bowing before him is nothing.
But I’ve since learned that the calmer Emmett is and the softer his tone, the more fierce his fury actually is.
A bone-chilling, spine-curling shudder moves through me as I realize something.
I might not survive this night.
But in my fear, I also hold on to my own fury.
If I can’t survive the night, neither will he.
We’ll go down together.
Like we did many years ago, over that cliff, straight to our death.
The hundreds of men and his uncles and cousin all stand up, immediately parting like the Red Sea, and then he’s leading me out of the garden at a brisk pace.
Emmett leads me down a long, incredibly maintained terrace.
The stars are dotted all over the dark sky and the moon is hung high. It’s so bright, and almost too beautiful, looking down at the absurdity happening down here.
We enter through another set of open screen doors of the huge mansion, then he leads me past a large sitting room, with a high ceiling, beige-colored walls with priceless pieces of art hanging there.
Before long, we’re down the end of a hallway and Emmett is punching in a code on a panel beside the door. The door clicks open and we enter, only to find another security panel.
He bends to have his retina scanned, then he presses his pinkie finger with the ring his grandfather just gave him, and the system welcomes him as the Don.
The double doors open and then he’s leading me down another long hallway.
We’re silent all the way.
Me in my wedding dress stained with bloody and him with his bloody white shirt that showcases his broad shoulders, upper body, and the black suit pants. He discarded his jacket when we left the garden.
I can feel Emmett’s silent rage, but he doesn’t walk too fast. Instead, he matches my pace, with my hand still trapped in his.
Our footsteps echo around us, due to the large, quiet rooms we are passing, but none of that fazes the big, angry brute leading me to God only knows where, until he snaps.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” he suddenly demands, stopping in the middle of the hallway, his voice hard and strained.
“Is there anything to say?” I mutter and move past him.
“Where are you going?”
“Not that it’s any of your damn business, but first I’m going to get out of this dress, toss it into the fire, and then I’m going home to find my brother and protect my grandmother.”
“What?” Emmett snaps angrily. I almost wince when he tightens his hold on my hand, but I don’t dare give him the satisfaction.
“Let go.”
“You’re not leaving.”
“Oh, but I can, and I am! You don’t get to tell me what to do!”
“Angel, this isn’t up for debate or your petulant rebellion,” he says, pulling me flush against him. “You can’t leave me.”
We glare at each other. I’m staring at a man I don’t even know anymore and I hate him!
“You really do have a mental disorder,” I seethe. “One moment you push me into the arms of your rival, then you suddenly disappear only to come back and do this?”
“Do what?” he demands in a low, chilly voice. “Say it out loud!”
I clamp my jaw shut. He won’t get the satisfaction out of me.
“Why did you marry me?” I demand.
Emmett’s jaw clenches and unclenches, but he doesn’t say anything. I roll my eyes and let out a low, humorless chuckle.
“So that’s how it is?” I mock. “You wanted to put on a show? Or maybe you saw Vaughn’s ability about to overtake your own and became jealous?”
Emmett’s nostrils flare. “Don’t speak on what you don’t know.”
I chuckle again. “You might be able to get one up on everyone in this world but, baby,” I say, taking another step closer to him. I place my hands on his shoulders so I can stand on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “You don’t fool me.”
Emmett tenses under my touch.
His muscles contract.
His breathing becomes rapid.
And his sharp, dark eyes stare at me intensely.
“How does it feel?”
“What?” he snaps.
“To need what you once rejected?”
Emmett’s breath catches. I feel it with my palms on his chest.
“What doesn’t want you, has the power to own you,” I state, each word laced with the anger in my veins. I look him dead in the eye. “It’s time you feel it too. To have your fate in the hands of the girl that hates you.”
“Are you angry at how it happened or that it happened?” he demands gruffly.
“Angry? At your Neanderthal tendencies?” I hold his molten emerald glare, not daring to look away. “Imagine being such a fool, believing someone who has been lying to me all my life. Someone who knew the most crucial parts of me but never once revealed it all to me!”
If we weren’t standing so close to each other, I would’ve missed the emotions that flash in his eyes and disappear so fast, but it’s my confirmation.
“You bastard!” I seethe. “How long have you known everything? That Senator Hughes is not my real father? That October 15 is my real birthday? You knew all along that I don’t have a freaking twin sister, didn’t you? How long did you know everything?”
And this right here, is why I’m so angry at this man, I can hardly breathe.
Emmett has known about the secrets I’ve dedicated my entire life to uncovering, and yet he’s never told me.
“Do you really want to know?” he asks, looking down at me with a warning.
“What I want to know is who the hell gave you the right to pry into my life, find out every single skeleton in my closet, and then keep that knowledge to yourself?”
“And you?” he counters, eyes blazing with barely concealed fury. “You’ve lied to me our whole lives too!”
My heart skips several beats. “W-what?”
Emmett fixes me with a glare so cold, a shudder moves through me. “I heard everything.”
Oh God.
“Your conversation with that old cripple, I listened to both of you the entire time.”
Fear, fast and hot, rushes through my veins when I see the awareness in Emmett’s eyes.
He knows what I’ve hidden from him for years, from the time I got my memory back…
“How many times have I asked you, begged you even, to tell me what happened that night, Angel?” he demands, his jaw ticking. “How many times did I ask if you saw anyone there that was suspicious?”
Many, many times. And each time I just couldn’t…
But now, not only does he know, he doesn’t look surprised, but there’s a glimmer of hurt in his eyes.
“And what was I supposed to say?” I cry, pushing him away from me.
I can’t breathe being boxed in by the man who has kept my heart prisoner all these years.
“Do you know how gut-wrenching it is to not have the answers you needed when all I wanted was to soothe that pain in you? Do you know how it feels to drown in nightmares night after night but still wake up with no answers? Do you know what it’s like to look at your impassive, cold face and have my heart shake because I knew you were looking for answers that I didn’t have? ”
“I know!” he explodes, making my body tremble to the core.
Emmett takes a step closer to me, but he maintains the small gap between us.
“I know exactly how it feels to die a little each time those large brown eyes looked at me with anguish, grief, and sadness that I knew I caused!” he grits out, his eyes blazing.
“The weight of guilt that made your eyes heavier than they should’ve been for someone so young.
The tears that would well up in your eyes when I was laid up on that sick bed for days on end…
all of that I had to witness and carry without knowing how to ease that burden from you! ”
I’m stunned into silence, my chest heaving so fast, I might pass out.
“It’s not the heart disease that was killing me, Ivy, it’s you! You’re not the only one who’s been suffering all these years!”
I’m nowhere near prepared to hear this brazen confession from him, but listening to him now, I’m both shocked, but more than that, I’m resentful.
“Really?” I mock. “What am I supposed to do with that? Preen and jump for joy thinking you mean that in a loving way? Who the fuck do you think you are, playing my mind and emotions like this?”
“Ange—”
“You don’t even like me! You’ve been crystal clear about that, all the while keeping important details of my life a secret, and now what? You marry me and say that crap? What are you playing at here?”
To my horror, I hear the pain and sadness in my words.
“You know what the worst part is? You’ve never cared for intentionally hiding things from anyone, so why me?” I demand, staring at the green-eyed stranger, fighting to stay calm and failing. “Did you do that just to make me suffer an agony worse than death for lying to you about my amnesia?”
“Am I that petty to you?” he questions quietly.
“You served raw, rotten meat to your family tonight in your absence! You also found the barest coincidence about a misunderstanding and used it to blackmail me into signing that contract, so yes, Emmett. You are petty!”
“I’ll remind you, that unbreakable contract was your idea!
” Emmett snaps in a low, dangerous tone that reveals a very turbulent undercurrent that might drown me if I’m not careful.
“Didn’t I fucking warn you all these years?
Fuck, Angel, I went above and beyond everything to derail your bullshit interest in finding those bastards, but you, stubborn as ever, you never listened to me! ”
“Would you give up looking for her?” I ask in a tight voice.
Emmett’s jaw snaps shut, refusing to answer. He glares back at me, but I don’t care.
“If it were you, would you give up looking for your mother? It’s been almost two decades, and you haven’t stopped!
Not once! So why am I being penalized for doing the same?
” I cry, my voice hoarse. “At the very least, you could’ve told me about my mother.
Jesus, Emmett, I broke the law to try and find someone who… ”
“And what would you have me do, Angel?” he asks, glaring daggers at me. “Go against your grandmother and brother to tell you that your mother is not the kind of person you dreamed she was and that she married a man who isn’t your father? What would that do for you when you hated yourself already?”
My heart drops to the acidic pit of my stomach and is shredded to nothing.
I stare into his fiery green eyes, and I see it all.
I did hate myself. I thought if I could fix myself, be quieter, less of an annoyance, less of a burden, I could stay with my loved ones and then ultimately, my mother would come back for me.
I really deluded myself, using imagination as a balm to salve the self-hatred… and Emmett saw all that.
I remember the times he used to make snide comments about looking for what doesn’t want me.
How he’d often tell me that I should accept the abandonment and move forward.
I remember all those times, but my God, I always thought he was just being mean and protective all at the same time.
Was I so delusional to this extent?
Emmett falls silent and watches me closely.
I wanted to sound strong, steadfast, and resilient, but before I know it, tears are streaming down my face.
Emmett’s face blanches and before the first sob powers through me, he has me scooped up in his arms, securing my frail, exhausted body with his powerful one.
I feel him press kisses on the crown of my head as I cry, shell-shocked by everything.
Emmett is saying some unintelligible things in my ear, but I can’t hear him… and I can’t do this.
I can’t allow him to break through my walls again. He’s broken me already. I can’t allow him to shatter what’s left, so I push away from him and quickly wipe away my tears.
“I don’t need your comfort,” I mumble, my throat dry and head still aching.
“Then what do you need from me?”
I look up at him. The sincerity in his eyes makes my heart pause, but I dare not trust it. I don’t know exactly what game he’s playing here, so I go back to basic cold principles.
“I want you to give me my baby.”
This time, his face falls.
“Angel, I never agree?—”
I rush back to him and shut him up with a kiss, deciding then and there to never put my heart in the mix where this man in concerned.