Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
TATIANA
I ’m on edge, unable to relax, with my mind constantly on the man next to me who has dominated my thoughts all night.
When the show ends, Titus wastes no time in making our excuses, and the slimy wink Boris offers him causes me to shiver with revulsion. I glance at his unfortunate companion, who is staring at Titus with a longing gleam in her eye and if anything, I am proud that I am the one beside him.
He is clutching my hand as if I’m the most important thing in his life right now, and I wonder why he is doing this. He could have any woman he wants. They are sure to be beating a path to his door, but he has settled for me. A stranger. I vow to ask him about that on the journey home.
I wonder when I began to think of it as home.
Once again, we head to the car and this time the journey is loaded with anticipation.
I wonder what it will be like? I’m not scared of it. Interested more than anything because despite the fact I’m in my mid-twenties, I am still to learn what it’s like to have sex.
“You’re quiet.” His husky voice punctures my thoughts, and I breathe deeply. “It’s a lot.”
“I know.”
I don’t even need to tell him what I’m referring to and he says softly, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m not an ogre. I can accept the situation for what it is.”
“You don’t want to?” I’m amazed at how disappointed I am at his disinterest and he replies with a husky determination. “I have thought of little else since I met you, Tia. When I look at you, I see a woman I want. Who consumes my thoughts and terrifies my soul.”
“Terrifies.”
I’m unprepared for that description and he nods. “You terrify me because I crave intimacy with you and you are the first woman who has ever provoked that reaction. You see–”
He turns right at the traffic lights and his attention is distracted momentarily and then he continues, “I made a decision a long time ago that one woman wasn’t for me. I’m not saying I want several—of course not. I just don’t want to share my life with another.”
“Why not?”
I’m curious and he shrugs. “Because it gets in the way of business. I’ve seen it so many times. Having a partner means you must think of their needs above your own. To make them happy and consider their wishes. I don’t have time for the distraction and so sex has been something to satisfy my physical needs and the business my mental ones.”
“I can understand that.”
His soft laugh drags a smile to my lips. “The fact I’m a virgin at twenty-four isn’t something I want to shout from the stage door. Does that shock you?”
“No. I guessed as much.”
“Wow.” I shake my head. “Is it written on my face? because how did you know?”
“The way you act.”
He turns into the underground car park of his apartment building and remarks, “Remember, you can opt out of the physical side of this anytime you want to. I don’t force myself on women, it’s not the man I am.”
For some reason, his words leave me cold and I remind myself that Titus Romanov is a business man, and this is just another deal to him. However, it’s a big deal to me, but maybe I should steal a leaf from his book and adjust my perception of what this is.
Scratch away the emotion and deal in facts. I have a problem and he has the answer. He will finally make me a woman and I will understand why it’s so important in life. Yes, a business arrangement could work and strips away emotion from a situation that probably doesn’t need any.
As he parks the car and exits, heading around the car to help me from the passenger seat, I fix my attitude and steel my nerves because tonight I am joining the rest of humanity in discovering what all the fuss is about.
We enter his penthouse as strangers. At least that’s how it feels and as he loosens his tie, he nods to the array of bottles in the drinks cabinet.
“Fancy a nightcap?”
“Do you?”
“That wasn’t the question.”
He arches his brow and I shrug. “Sure, why not?”
I watch him stroll across to the cabinet and pull a bottle of brandy from the shelf, expertly splashing two shots into the crystal glasses, the dim light catching the amber sparkle of the liquid.
The mood is intense, or is that just my imagination? Titus never appears to be anything else, and I wonder about that.
He prowls toward me like a panther, sleek, elegant and deadly, and I swallow my nerves as I reach for the glass, grateful for the Dutch courage he is offering me.
He stares deep into my eyes as he hands me the glass and as our fingers touch, a bolt of electricity catches me off-guard. My legs are shaking and the desire between my legs is reminding me how long overdue this is.
If I expected him to retreat, I was mistaken because if anything he moves closer and lifts his glass to his lips, while staring into my eyes and as I do the same, you could cut the atmosphere with a butter knife.
His eyes flash as he swallows the shot whole and as I follow his example, the alcohol hits my bloodstream like a defibrillator.
When I finish, he removes the glass from my hand and sets it on the side and wraps his larger hand in mine and says softly, “Do you trust me, Tia?”
I consider that question with a wry smile. Trust him. Hell no. I wouldn’t trust Titus Romanov with my heart, but I trust him with my life. I trust him not to force me into a situation I’m uncomfortable with and so I nod slowly, “Enough.”
He smiles easily. “Good answer.”
He jerks his head in the direction of my room.
“Would you be more comfortable in your own space?”
For some reason, my eyes fill with tears and I don’t know why. “Thank you.”
This situation couldn’t be any more scary if it tried and I appreciate his thoughtfulness.
He tugs me gently toward the door and as we enter my home from home, I whisper, “I never thought it would be like this.”
“Like what?” His voice is smooth with none of the nerves that shake my own and I gulp, “So clinical.”
He says nothing and as we move through the living area toward the bedroom, my pulse begins to race as I sense my life changing. This is something that may change me. It could be the best experience of my life or one of the worst. I don’t know if I’ve made the right decision and I must pull back a little because he stops and then, without warning, takes me into his arms and pulls me close. His arms wrap around my body and as he drops his head to my ear, he whispers, “You’re not ready.”
I’m shocked at the crashing disappointment I feel inside as he opts out of the situation and he whispers, “Sex is not something emotionless, despite what you think of me.”
He pulls back and tips my face to stare into his, and I shiver at the dark desire swirling in his eyes. It’s as if the enigma is revealing his soul and I’m surprised when he says nothing, just crashes his lips onto mine, his tongue edging inside, twisting mine in its hold, plunging deeper and blinding me to anything else.
His hand splays across my back, pulling me in closer, the hard chest against mine unforgiving, a wall of muscle—of strength.
My mind shifts as my body crumbles, a soft moan torn from somewhere deep inside as I react to the attack, my senses sharpened, my body on fire.
I kiss him back with a passion that excites me. It’s as if he has lit a match and it’s sizzling with energy.
My blood is on fire, cracking a trail through my body as it feeds on the oxygen, and I have no other thought but what’s happening now.
His kisses move to my neck, his teeth gently nicking the soft skin, and I throw my head back to give him access, my entire body on edge, wanting something denied to it for so long.
My dress falls to the floor as if by magic, and yet I don’t care. I am accustomed to standing naked in a room full of strangers. It’s what happens when you put on a show. Dignity is abolished in favor of speed. Costume changes don’t respect your privacy.
His low growl excites me as he pushes me toward the bed, my entire body alight with lust.
His kisses travel to my breast and as he sucks my hard nipple between his teeth, I gasp as it puckers to his touch.
I’m aware he is still fully dressed and I’m shocked when I attempt to rectify that. Courage comes from the unlikeliest of circumstances and as I push his jacket from his shoulders, it joins my dress in a heap on the ground.
He helps by tearing off his shirt as I fumble with his belt and he unhooks my bra, discarding it in one expert move.
It’s the most important thing in the world that we are naked right now and as the gentle lighting illuminates his hard body, a tingle of excitement replaces the fear.