Chapter 9
brINKER
We spent the weekend together and I didn’t worry about the papers on my desk once.
Okay, maybe once.
But with Iclyn next to me, I find myself thinking about other things. Things that I never have.
Marriage?
Children?
Minivans… or at least something that isn’t two seats like my Beemer is?
Forever?
She’s worked for my company for two years now and everyone knows she’s special, but I never realized how special.
I walk her back to her apartment after dinner at her favorite little Italian place around the corner.
They know her by name and tell me that she’s the one who has convinced them to take all their leftovers to the local shelter each night.
They estimated that they’ve fed over ten thousand meals since June when they started the project.
She set all of it up. She organized it. And she put her heart out there to ask for it.
That’s what I want to do. Every moment I spend with her I find there’s an infectiousness about her. It’s like she sparkles. She makes me want to keep that sparkle going.
While she’s in the bathroom, I hand over my black AMEX card and ask them to create ten gift cards of $500 each to hand out to non-profit organizations that can’t afford a holiday party but deserve one.
Multiple cards can go to one place, but all need to be distributed before Christmas in twenty days.
And that’s why I decide to do something I don’t think anyone will see coming tomorrow at work.
I squeeze her hand at her apartment door to stop her and she spins to me.
If I follow her in, we’ll end up in bed because that’s just another thing I can’t stop doing with her.
I’ve slept with women, but it was never like this.
This is something new. Something different.
Something that I can’t quite put my finger on, but I know it’s real.
“I had a great time this weekend,” I say holding both of her hands.
Her head doesn’t come up to meet my gaze.
I lift her chin. “Icyln… what’s wrong?”
“What will it be like tomorrow?”
I know what she means. We’re blazing a new path.
Our company doesn’t have a policy on fraternization and it was bound to happen between two adults some time.
But the new experience does feel like it could be an ocean versus a puddle.
I’ll need to talk to Jenna and see if she needs to talk to Iclyn, make sure there’s no funny business going on.
I lift her chin and stare into her eyes. A gloss of a tear is in the lower lashes. She tries to shake from the hold on her hands.
“Hey, hey, I was just thinking, nothing bad.”
“Oh…” Her body relaxes.
“I was just thinking that I’ll need to talk to Jenna and let her know. Do you want to do it together tomorrow?”
She swallows hard. “But… what are we, Brinker? What do I tell her?” Her eyes bounce between mine looking for an answer.
“We’re… something.”
Iclyn’s smile falls. “Something? Like something that’s real?”
I drop her hands and hold her face. “As real as it gets, Iclyn. I promise, this is not something short term. This is not something that’s unreal.”
She giggles. “Oh, what happened last night seemed unreal. I didn’t know I could bend like that!”
I chuckle along and then nuzzle to her ear, taking in that sweet scent that’s almost like a cookie. “I… I love…” I’m choking on my words and I never do that. It would get a reprimand from my father.
Say what you mean and mean what you say!
“I love how I feel when I’m with you.”
She moves into me. “I love being with you and I’m afraid I’m going to miss you tonight.”
“Miss me or miss something else?”
A chuckle comes from her chest. “Well…”
I reach for her stomach and tickle her waist. She giggles harder and squirms, only making my body come alive.
Down boy. It’s time to get some sleep.
I take her by surprise and capture her lips in a slow kiss. She opens to invite me in and I kiss her like she deserves and when we part our quick breaths make me know how much I’ll miss her.
“I’ll miss you, too.” I kiss her nose. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
I got all of the supplies and I’m on my way to work at… 4 a.m. Four in the morning. I mean, I’m there by 7 a.m. most days, but this is something else.
Iclyn gets there at 7:15 a.m. every… single… day. I don’t think she ever gets sick or at least she doesn’t act like it.
I drag six bags of supplies into the elevator, the security guard looking at me like I’m not the same person he’s known.
I’m not.
How one woman can have changed my life in a few days…
I’m just setting down the final bag in my office when my phone rings with a tone that makes my back stiffen. It’s the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars.
“Hello, Father.”
“Brinker, I’m afraid your grandmother has taken ill.” He’s always so formal and before it just irritated me, now it’s downright annoying but that’s not what’s important now.
“Where is she?”
“At Everville General. It’s… it’s not good, son.” It’s the first time I’ve ever heard my father’s voice break. The man has a heart it’s just been buried behind the loss of my mother. I should’ve seen it, but I was just a boy and I was grieving too.
“I’ll be right there.”