Chapter 4 #3
The fingers come out, and Peter squeezes on nothing.
Then Sebastian's dick is touching his aching hole.
"This is going to be harder for me than it is for you, you know.
You've come a lot. I've been waiting. It's gonna be over fast. But I'll be able to go again in a few minutes.
Give you a minute to recover, and then you'll fucking get it.
Goddamn," he says, the head pressing inside Peter.
Peter claws at the bed. There's no conversation then.
It's just Sebastian breathing and shushing him.
It's Peter gasping and whimpering as Sebastian sinks slowly inside.
Time passes. His hole hurts so badly. It's every pain.
Sharp and dull. There's a sting and a burn.
How will he sit down? How will he go to the bathroom? And he's going to do this again?
He catalogues every hurt, desperately trying to be present so he can remember it later, go through it again and again while he touches himself back there.
"I thought I'd never bottom out," Sebastian finally says, and Peter feels the kiss of his balls against his own, the press of him against his ass. His hand shakes as he reaches back, touching Sebastian's hip.
Sebastian takes his hand, twining their fingers together. He drags them up behind Peter's back, pressing his hand against his lower back. Another restriction.
"Yes, please. Please. Oh god," Peter whispers.
"Do you love it?" He drapes himself over Peter's back. "Is this what you thought it would be like?" he asks darkly, biting into Peter's neck and shoulder. He pulls out a smidge, it can't be much, and Peter moans into the bed. There are no words.
"You're doing so well, baby. It's a lot. Even for a pretty slut like you. Are you my slut, Peter?"
"Yes." He'll be anything Sebastian wants him to be.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, please. Yes… Sir," he tries, wanting to make Sebastian happy.
"You're a fucking natural. A good boy." Sebastian grunts and gasps, pulls out partway, and eases back inside. "Your manners get better when it's difficult. That's good. What about whore? You gonna be a whore for me, too?"
"Yes, Sir."
"I bet. You're tight. Goddamn, I have to come." And he grunts, pulls out and goes back in, short and sharp movements, and comes very quickly after. Thank god, Peter thinks.
And wants to cry because it's done.
Over.
"Wish I could see it spill out of you," Sebastian says and slowly pulls out.
Peter gets fully onto the bed and whimpers, his hand going back. He's so hot there. Swollen inside. It's all he can feel. Peter's cock is soft but there's a wet spot on the bed and his balls hurt so much he thinks he must have come again somewhere in there.
Sebastian disposes of the condom and lies down beside him. He kisses Peter's mouth, kisses his tears. He gropes Peter's chest, pinching at his nipples.
Peter tries to respond and get himself together. He doesn't. He just shakes. The tears spill over.
"Look at you. You're falling apart. You're a mess. A beautiful mess. My mess. What a good boy. Tell me you want it again, Peter."
He does. But it's impossible to say it aloud. He's terrified of it happening again. He wishes it wasn't over. It's overwhelming. He's never felt so alive and in his own body.
"I know myself," he whispers. And isn't sure that makes sense. The pain is familiar, and now his body is familiar, too. It's a wild thought.
Peter wakes up curled into Sebastian. His eyes are crispy with tears. He feels wrung out and empty inside. It's bliss. He's never felt so calm and safe. Should he get up? He's so thirsty. And he's hungry. He starts to move away. His ass is sore as hell.
Sebastian was inside him. He can feel the proof of it.
"Stay," Sebastian murmurs, pulling him close again. "We'll get up in a minute. I need to talk to you first."
"What?" Peter asks, his voice hoarse.
"I loved that. I want to do it again with you. Regularly if possible."
"Okay. I'm glad," Peter says. Joy fills him, and he curls up close again.
"Did you like it?"
"I already want you inside me again," he says, pressing a kiss to his neck.
Sebastian blinks at him, lifting his head off the pillow. His dark hair is sticking straight up where he slept on it. "We can do other things, too. There are a lot of options if you decide you don't want pain all the time."
"I thought you said I was a masochist."
Sebastian makes a hmm sound. He looms over Peter and kisses him thoroughly. "Yeah, but you haven't tried anything. You're my virgin slut. We can try everything." His touch is gentle.
"I'm not a virgin," Peter says, correcting him. "I had a girlfriend in high school. Lost my virginity to her."
"And?"
"Neither of us wanted a repeat performance."
Sebastian smiles against his mouth. "Bad sex is a bummer."
"Yeah. Then I went into the military and didn't have to think about it for a while."
"Really? Surrounded by aggressive, sweaty, muscular men, and you didn't have to think about it?"
"Everyone knew who my father was. Would have been a scandal. Fear works wonders."
"I think fear makes you hard now," he says and bites at Peter's nipple.
"Fuck. Yes," Peter hisses. "Harder."
"No."
"Squeeze my nipple, please?"
"I don't want to. I didn't mean to bite you. You're just too delicious, and I forgot I was going to be nice to you. You're going to get some soft touches for a bit. Some cuddling. You need that. I need that after what I just did to you. Fuck, that was good."
"Was it?"
"Yeah. Amazing. Your ass is incredible. You really milked me. I thought I was going to lose my fucking mind. So you should tell me now what you want differently. I'm motivated to adapt so I can be inside you again."
Peter's cock starts to rise to the occasion.
"Nothing. I loved all of it."
"So you liked the pain, you liked being humiliated. Did you like me saying mean things to you?"
"It wasn't that mean. It was just… you had expectations. I like that. I knew what I had to do. You said some really filthy things. I liked that a lot, too. How do you know so much? Why are you so confident?"
Sebastian flops onto his back.
Peter rises up to an elbow and touches him, kisses his chest and his mouth, taking advantage of the opportunity to discover his young lover.
"Because I'm a sadist. I've always wanted to hurt my partners.
And that was fucked up. It terrified me.
But there are clubs and places to go where people like hurting and being hurt.
I was sneaking into kink places since I was seventeen.
And there was this woman there. She must have been seventy.
And she had a few subs every time. So I befriended her.
And she taught me stuff. How to hurt someone safely.
Where to avoid, how to tell if my partner liked it.
If I was going to hurt someone, I wanted to do it the right way. I'm young, but I'm not inexperienced."
"And I'm old and have no experience."
"You're not that old."
"You called me old man."
"Yeah, I was trying to gauge your reactions. Do you care that I'm young?"
"I… not enough to stop doing this, but I'm not comfortable with it."
"Good. I want you to rob my cradle."
Peter flinches. His dick twitches in interest. "I need food," he says and gets out of bed. It's the most intriguing, perfect pain he's ever felt. He walks carefully to the door.
Sebastian eyes him hungrily.
"Go ahead, I'll meet you," Peter says and heads to the bathroom. There is a trickle of oil sliding down his thigh. "I need to order lube."
"Pretty slut," Sebastian says and bounds down the stairs, naked and relaxed. He whistles.
Peter limps to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror.
Does he look different? He should. His lip is swollen.
There are huge bruises and bites on his neck and chest. His hips have finger marks.
Grabbing a mirror, he looks at his hole.
It will look better with no hair. He's red and sore-looking.
He cleans up and contemplates taking a picture to jerk off over later.
He doesn't, terrified someone might somehow get a copy.
He washes his hands and goes downstairs.
Sebastian is waiting.