Chapter 17
Seventeen
NATE
“Holy shit," Ellis breathes and lunges for me. I flinch when his bright ass phone burns my eyes. "LOOK!"
Grunting, I shove the device away from me and glare at him. "The fuck are you doing?" The fucker doesn't take the obvious hint and pushes it back at me.
I snatch his phone and take a deep breath. I've been struggling since our fucked up morning at the gym. What Levi said about Violet has made me murderous. She was hurt, and I didn't know. I can't believe I didn't fucking know...
"She texted us, Nate. Look!"
My breath catches in my throat as his words register, and I glance down at Ellis' phone. There she is doing the thing we've been waiting days for. Violet texted the group chat. The content is definitely not what I was expecting.
"JAMIE!" I bellow. "Grab your phone and get in here!"
"Fucking, what?" Jamie stomps into the living room, looking pissed. At least he listened. I see the outline of his phone in his sweatpants right beside his thick shaft. My mouth waters.
"What is this?" I ask, my voice husky. Ellis nudges me, so I clear my throat. I give him Ellis' phone as I remind myself this is about Violet and what Jamie might know. Not his cock.
Jamie's eyebrows furrow as he reads her message. "Jamie likes the color black because he's a baddy. Ellis likes brown because he's a poopy head," Jamie recites, humor lacing his tone. "And Nate likes gray because of his gray hairs."
My jaw clenches tight when Jamie bursts out laughing. He tosses the phone back at me and shakes his head while pulling his cellphone from his pocket.
"What the hell do I say to that?" Ellis asks, looking slightly indignant but thrilled at the same time.
Jamie laughs some more, and I can't help the twitch of my lips.
It was funny, but still, the little brat made fun of my gray hair.
Maybe if we weren't completely on her no-trust list, I would enjoy her words more.
"Don't get your hopes up." Jamie snorts around his words. "V's just drunk."
Sitting up straighter, I feel my gut clench with concern. "Can she even do that? Is she on medication for her injuries? She shouldn't mix meds with booze."
Levi gave us some more information after we followed him to Blue's house. He tried telling us it was none of our business, but when Jamie rolled up, he sighed and let us know what the doctors said. A lot of rest and over-the-counter painkillers when she needs them is the plan.
"Obviously," Jamie replies, sounding distracted as he types a message out. "She knows that. Plus her family wouldn't let her mix that shit if she were on medication."
He's right. They're very protective of her and watchful. "Will she be okay?" I wonder instead, knowing she must be incredibly intoxicated to unblock me and Ellis. The message is whatever, but the fact that she texted us is concerning.
"Not sure..." Jamie trails off and sits down on the other side of the couch. "As long as Cassidy didn't give her weed brownies, she should be fine."
"Should be fine?" Ellis forces out between his clenched teeth. Being offended by her mention of my aging hair is the least of my concerns.
"Listen, poopy head," Jamie taunts, barely sparing my partner a glance.
"She fell down a cliff, hurt herself pretty fucking badly, got her heart broken by you two dipshits, and is now super drunk.
It's likely she will call crying at some point, so get your shit together and help her through her evening if she reaches out to you. "
"Do you think she'll call?" I sound like a schoolgirl excited about the idea of my crush calling me. Fuck, I want to hear her voice. Need to.
I don't care if it's to cuss me out, I'd give her my soul if she would just fucking talk to me.
Jamie shrugs without looking at me. I'm starting to think he's texting Violet on the side. I don't blame him, but I do want to know what the hell he's saying to her.
Standing, I stretch and grab my phone from the coffee table. I give Ellis a kiss on the forehead as I move to sit by Jamie.
"Don't even think about it," he growls, still not fucking glancing at me.
I've already thought about it, and now I'm gonna do it. Plopping my ass on the cushion beside him, I toss my arm over the back of the couch. "What are you doing?" I ask, trying to be nonchalant, except his signature cologne has me aching to lean in and give him a lick.
Scowling at me, he shifts away, but the dumbass put himself in the corner. If he wants space, he will need to stand up and move.
"None of your fucking business," he snaps and looks away. His long, dark hair hangs loose, adding shadows to his cheekbones and dark eyelashes.
"She messaged again!" Ellis' energy is chaotic and a little hyper. I would be too if there weren't so many shattered pieces keeping us from Violet.
Neither Jamie nor Ellis care to share, so I open the message on my device and grimace. "Violet likes all the colors because she feels like she can't figure out who she truly is?" I'm scared Jamie might be right, that her night might end in tears.
Another vibration draws my attention to a new message from her. This, I read out loud, word for word. "Oh and if you mix all the colors, it gets yucky. Brown. I'm a poopy head too. I hurt the other brown lover first after all."
"Jesus, Ellis fucking say something," Jamie demands, fingers jabbing at his phone. I should tell him it doesn't seem like Violet is in the right headspace to actually read his words properly, but I let it go. Jamie has seen her like this a time or two, it seems, so I'll follow his lead.
"What the hell do I say to her?!" Ellis snaps, standing from the couch to pace. His face is red; all signs point to him getting angry.
Jamie scowls at Ellis and puts his phone down so he can lean forward. Ellis stops and sucks in a small breath at the dominance pouring off of Jamie right now. Jamie might not be with us, but he still fits with us perfectly. Right now, he knows exactly what my partner needs.
"Deep breath, Ellis. You either go punch a fucking pillow or you wrangle your emotions back in and console the woman you love when she's practically screaming for help. So what will it be? Selfish prick, or emotionally available partner?"
I tense a little at the name calling but his words seem to land perfectly with Ellis. Ellis takes a deep breath, shakes his hands out, and jumps on the balls of his feet. "I'll let her know she is not a poopy head and none of what I did is her guilt to carry, but—" He shifts.
"But what?" Jamie prods without skipping a beat.
Ellis cracks his neck and bounces on the balls of his feet. "I think I need to go for a run after. Fighting might not be good for me, but I was a track star in high school. I always liked to run when I was hormonal and cranky."
Jamie and I study Ellis for a moment, each of us thinking through his statement. "Alright." I nod, knowing he needs a slight push and to know someone supports him. "I watched a plow come through earlier, but it will be dark. Bring your phone and the headlamp I saw by the garage door."
"Yes, Sir," Ellis mutters, already typing out his message to Violet.
Pride fills me up. The effort he's putting in to figure out how to manage his strong emotions is great to see. He may still need us to hold him accountable if he's going to make real progress.
"What about you?" Jamie asks, twisting in his seat to eye me down. "What are you doing to prove you've changed?"
Chewing on my lip, I avoid his challenging gaze. Instead, I watch Ellis bundle up for his nighttime run.
"I need to talk to someone. Someone who's kink-friendly.
I'm a Dom, but I allow my need to make Ellis happy to control me.
I knew what we had planned was wrong, but I enjoyed the way his eyes lit up.
He jumped out of his chair and it made me feel good about myself.
Like I could make him happy by following along.
But he needs me to guide him. I dropped the ball.
I fell into a toxic idea because I was drinking.
So yeah, I'll need to find a kink-friendly therapist and maybe quit drinking too. "
Fuck, it's hard to admit. The more I've thought about it, I've come to realize I not only failed Jamie and Violet, but I failed Ellis too.
I should have been levelheaded and spanked some sense into him.
My anger at myself for letting one of my loves slip away and my need to keep Ellis always and forever drove me to make some poor choices.
"Attachment issues. I get it," Jamie rumbles, arms crossed over his chest.
I shrug, not caring what the titles of my issues are right now. "Maybe I'll go California sober."
Jamie nods and smirks, startling me a bit. "I know someone who makes pot brownies. Heard they're pretty good."
We both laugh and, fucking hell, it feels good.