Chapter 21
Twenty-One
VIOLET
Ireally didn't want to eat breakfast with Nate and Ellis. Jamie all but forced me to listen to a voice recording that shut my fight up pretty quick.
"I think you should leave," Jamie began, voice devoid of emotion.
"Jamie, please—" Ellis.
"I don't think you're in any kind of position to make demands, Ellis."
Ellis sounded determined, and I wondered what their faces looked like during the exchange. "That's true, but I'm definitely in the right spot to fucking beg. Please, let us explain."
"Let me see if I already know everything you're about to say," Jamie drawled, and goosebumps spread across my skin. "Let's play a game. I'll make a guess, and you tell me if I'm right or wrong. Feel free to elaborate if you choose."
"Alright," Nate replied.
"You saw Violet with me before we even met and thought it would be a good idea to hurt her?" Jamie guessed and the image that my mind conjured up made me ill.
Nate took up the explanation. "We were at the coffee shop she works at when we saw you two sitting together. It was obvious how much you cared about one another, even though she looked pissed. Of course it hurt, but that wasn't when we made the horrible decision we did."
"When did you decide to break her heart and mine then?" Jamie's question made me flinch while my eyes were glued to the phone. "Oh, I'm sorry, was that hard to hear?"
Nate immediately jumped in. "We were drinking that night at the bar when we saw you. It was a moment of pure toxicity and pain that made us approach you. We wanted to get back at her by taking you from her. Maybe then she would know how much damage she did when she left us."
"It stopped being about revenge after a few moments of talking to you," Ellis said, sounding distraught. "Please, it's true. I saw the look in your eyes and knew you were hurting and aching for her the way we did for a long, long time. Breaking your heart was hardly a thought."
"Yet you still broke it with your lies, Ellis!" Jamie snapped.
"Jamie, we've been falling for you since the moment we actually met you. It was real," Nate expressed, which made me want to cry.
Jamie's scoff made me cringe. "No, it wasn't. A relationship worth anything isn't built on deceit. You should have told me from the beginning if you actually felt anything for me."
Ellis replied. "Could you honestly say you would have given us a chance if you had known our initial agenda or our past with Violet?"
Jamie asked the question that's been running through my mind for way too long. "And Violet? When did it become real? Because I'm not blind. I know you love her, but your love doesn't mean you're good enough for her."
Jamie had so much to say in my defense. "You set out to hurt the woman I love. Even if that motivation only lasted a few moments, the men you've proven yourselves to be aren't good enough. You made her run. You."
"I—" Ellis hesitated. My heart was in my throat. What will he say? Will it be enough? Will it make me feel worse? "We didn't know how to tell you about our past, then she was hurt. It all happened so fast. But the anger really began to fade when we crashed your lunch date."
Jamie growled. "You're telling me when she was unconscious from a panic attack on my couch, you wanted to hurt her more?"
"What?!" Ellis shouted. "No! I'm just saying all the feelings were getting twisted around and confusing."
Nate tried to help. "Our plan to use you and hurt her ended at the same time. The moment we met you. But seeing her again without being prepared was a shock. We were still so angry with her, but we slowly began to see how much pain she was in from her past with Blue."
Ellis begged. "We made a mistake, backtracked, and didn't tell anyone. I thought we deserved her groveling and one bad choice nobody even had to know about."
Jamie's rage was palpable, and the shuffling sounds were aggressive. "You motherfu—"
"Jamie, stop!" I think I stopped breathing at that point.
"You don't deserve anything from that sweet girl.
All she's done is try to protect everyone else.
She was already vulnerable beyond what you can comprehend.
You made me the bad guy, too. You damaged a relationship that took five fucking years to build all because you were childish enough to believe the real world should be run by tit for tat.
"I don't know how you plan on being worthy of her or mending the pieces you've shattered.
All I know is Violet is surrounded by a fucking army ready to protect her against you.
I plan to prove I am not the bad guy you've made me.
Where you fit in and what you do will be closely monitored by her family.
Figure your shit out, because as of right now, my focus is on Violet.
Consider me off limits until you get your shit together. If that day ever comes, that is."
Then the recording ended, and I was struck silent.
Now I'm fucking sitting at my grandma's counter trying to ignore Jamie, Nate, and Ellis making travel plans. I guess the three of them decided I would ride home with Jamie, and Nate would take my car.
Jamie threatened him of course, and while I appreciate it, he still gave Nate permission to drive my car. I didn't protest, so what does that say about me?
None of this feels normal. It's too cozy and domesticated. We aren't together...
I'm reeling after hearing all the confessions from the recording. Honestly, it's ruining my mood for waffles. While that would be disappointing on a normal day, I'm stuck in this fucking house until Jamie brings me back to Mom's.
I'm too sleepy to go against my alphahole, currently nudging more bacon at me. Jamie knows the way to my heart and how to keep me from lashing out. A good fuck, a hot shower, and food will do it. I just really wish the four of us didn't have so much pain lingering between us.
"Will Levi be pissed?" Ellis whispers to Nate, drawing my attention. "I'll find a gym at home. Maybe not boxing, but a personal trainer who puts emphasis on running would help."
"You'll actually do it?" Nate presses with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks so stern, it makes me wiggle on the bar stool.
Ellis nods. "Yes. Of course. Levi was right. I need somewhere for this energy to go, and I can't let it funnel into my relationships anymore."
"I know a guy," Jamie interjects and glances at me before adding. "He's friends with Bash. Bet I can hook you up with a gym membership."
"You mean the fucking MC guy who saved Violet?" Ellis scowls and looks ready to reject his idea.
"If you want to prove your growth, then I know a guy who will actually demand you get your shit together." Jamie shrugs and bends down to kiss my cheek. "Your choice."
Why am I here? I shouldn't be here for this. I don't want to be. Do I?
My gaze travels from Jamie who raises an eyebrow, and Ellis who's staring at me with so much longing it physically hurts. I don't know what he sees in my face, but he jerks his head in a determined nod. "Anything. I'll take the help. Thank you, Jamie."
"You're welcome," Jamie replies and wraps an arm around me. "Ready to go back to Blue? Your phone hasn't stopped ringing for the past five minutes."
Shoot! Jumping from my chair, I shuffle to my phone and see Cassidy and Mom have been trying to get ahold of me. They're going to have so many questions...