Chapter 12
Victor
The worst thing is that the embarrassment flooding me at his question only makes me stiffer.
I close my thighs and cross my arms over my crotch to hide my arousal.
I don’t dare look up at him. “I’m sorry.
I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear. I just…
I don’t think my body knows the difference between fear and…
sexual stuff, because with Luke it always followed, and…
I think it messed me up.” I don’t know whether to hide my traitorous dick or my tears, but I settle on covering my face as I kneel in the disaster of my own making.
Sevastyan’s quiet and could approach stealthily if he wished, but this time I can hear his every step. Bare feet roll over the dusty tiles, and I practically sense the moment his shadow falls on me.
“I see. Have I been too kind so far? Am I not arousing enough when I kiss and stroke you?”
I hold my breath as he circles me, so close I sense the movement of air on my back. His hand closes on my nape, hard, and my cock pulses between my legs.
Oh God. I love it when he grabs me like that. He’s done it several times when I’ve given him head, and I don’t know if it’s about the size of his hand, the strong grip, the heat, but my whole body is boiling in excitement.
“No! You are. I love it all. B-but this also ticks some weird boxes in me. I can’t help it. I feel bad and good at the same time.” At least I don’t have to meet his eyes as I say it. I’m trembling. I’ve never talked to anyone about sex this way. No one was interested.
“Do you like it though?” Sevastyan asks, his raspy voice just above a whisper as he pulls up my hair and twists it around his hand. “Is that what you imagine when you want to come?”
I find it hard to speak, but I nod as much as his hand allows me, the delicious pull sending yet more sparks down my body.
“I’m s-sorry. I know it’s weird.” And yet a nasty part of me hopes that maybe Sevastyan likes to be the other side of this coin.
Maybe he’d like to be a little mean and then cuddle me.
“Is that why you’re such a mess sometimes?
” I sense him lower his body behind me and shiver when his muscular arm reaches to the floor, gathering ultramarine into his hand.
I don’t get enough time to gather my thoughts, because then he’s pulling me by the hair, and I find myself crawling to not fall behind.
My whole body throbs with arousal, and I swear my cock must be leaking pre-cum already.
This shouldn’t be exciting, yet here I am, heating up at the thought of how pathetic I must now look.
I clench my ass at the memory of how he rimmed me at lunch.
I’ve been toying with letting him fuck me for a few days now, and just couldn’t gather the courage to take that step.
My current excitement might just be tipping the scales.
My body is sensing a threat in him, but my mind feels safe.
“No, no, never on purpose. I’m just a bit of a klutz.” More like a hazard to every fragile object around me .
Fortunately, nothing about Sevastyan is fragile.
I sit back on my heels when we stop, and when he steps behind me, pulling up my head, I’m faced with our reflection in the long mirror my host uses to paint his self-portraits, the ones I called ‘dead inside’.
We couldn’t be any more different. Sevastyan’s broad shoulders and chest speak of health and physical strength. His skin’s smooth, radiant. Everything I am not with my thin limbs, freckles, and pathetic, tearstained expression.
I can’t believe he wants to waste his time on me.
A laugh, and then he rubs the pigment into my cheek, before dragging his stained hand down my throat. “Maybe you’d learn if you had to sacrifice something.”
His fingers on my neck only make me hotter all over. The proof of where his hands were is this perfect blue. “Sacrifice what? How can I make it up to you?” We’ve not made any clear agreement, yet it feels like we’re playing a game now. That we both know it. That if I said the word, he’d stop.
But I don’t want him to.
“Maybe you should become my clay? See what I can make of you,” he adds, and my breath rasps when the fine grit on his palm teases my nipple. He rubs his other hand over the dusted floor and grabs my face with it.
My whole body’s pulsing with illicit desire when I see the blueish imprint of his hand across my features. He’s marking me, and if I say nothing, he’ll make me into his new masterpiece.
When I’m this excited, I’d let him do anything. My breath is fast and hot when he smears the pigment over my lips. I dare meet his eyes in the mirror. He’s the picture of lust.
“I’d like to… to…” How do I even ask for what I want so desperately right now? I need to be his. I need to be unde r him. Why am I so awkward? “Would you like to come inside me?” I ask in a whisper, all too aware I’m not making myself clear. Fuck.
He kneels behind me, chest pressed to my back as he swipes his blue fingers over my lips. “Here?”
I dare lick his fingers, despite shivering from the nerves of it all. “N-no.” My whole body yearns for this big brute man on top of me, inside me.
The pigment has a dusty aftertaste, like I imagine dry dirt to have, but if Sevastyan asked me to lick the ultramarine off the entire floor, I’d do it for him. He deserves it for turning his attention on a pathetic creature like me.
My cock twitches as I imagine myself crawling while he watches, my face stained with cum and pigment.
Fuck, I’m so turned on...
Sevastyan bends me in half and presses my cheek to the cold tile as his other hand swipes down my spine, all the way to my ass. “Here? You want me to come inside this hole?” he rasps.
Why is breathing so hard right now when I need to communicate?
“Y-yes. It’s yours to use.” I’m bent over for him, face down, ass up, so I spread my legs a bit wider.
Maybe I lost my mind, but who cares? I want him.
And in an ideal world, he’d keep rubbing pigment into my ass cheeks, because right now I feel he’s in the process of transforming me into something special.
“You think you deserve my cum? Someone’s cocky...”
I try to speak, but my voice comes out as a quiet whine when he shoves my legs apart. His dick is big, I’m a bit scared, but I want it. I want it so much.
I’m so excited by knowing it’s a game between us I get bold and close my legs. “I’m sorry. Bad idea. I’ll go get the mop—”
The delightful pull on my hair keeps me in place, and one glance at the mirror confirms my cock is dripping .
“Don’t you dare move without permission.” I can smell his arousal so close, but I don’t expect his cock resting on my shoulder. It’s hard now, purple, with a beautiful curve, and I itch to taste it.
“Sorry,” I say, biting back a smile while my heart beats like mad.
I glance in the mirror again, turned on by the size difference between us.
I’m still self-conscious about it at times, but he told me to enjoy it, and it was a revelation.
From guilty pleasure to something I’m allowing myself.
I like it, he likes it, so why should I feel inadequate?
“Good.”
I melt into him when he slides one of those big, warm hands under my jaw, keeping it in place as he rubs that pulsing dick up and down my cheek.
“I’m happy you understood your place,” Sevastyan whispers, gasping when I turn my head and lick the tip of his dick.
His pre-cum is addictive, and while I couldn’t call its flavor pleasant, its salty aroma makes my stomach flip with excitement.
The cock pops into my mouth, pulling at one cheek before sliding back out with a loud smack.
I can hardly remember how I got into this position in the first place, because I can only focus on this moment, on how my body is available to him, how in charge he is.
As soon as his cock is out of my mouth, I try to follow it with a needy whine I don’t recognize as my own.
He holds my jaw in place, not allowing me to move.
Something is realigning between us right now. A new understanding, and I’m eating it up by the spoonful.
Sevastyan cocks his head, and I swallow words of adoration when I watch his chest and face blossom with a dark flush. “When you imagined this, how was it? Slow and gentle?” he asks, tracing my lips with his slick cockhead.
I give it a needy lick but stay put. “Slow first. Then hard and rough. Pushy as fuck.” Seems arousal is loosening my tongue, and I pray to all that is unholy in gratitude for that.
Sevastyan likes that, I can tell. And as his eyes darken, so does the desire deep inside me.
“I suppose you do need to be put in your place. You should count yourself lucky even speaking to me,” he rasps, and I gasp when he places his foot on my back, pressing down until my cheekbone is once again flat against the floor.
Any normal person would probably want a nice soft bed and cuddles for their first time, but I’m exactly where I want to be. On my knees and talked down to.
My brain is boiling in my skull as I reach for my cock. “I do. You can take what you need from me.”
“I can, but it’s good to know we’re on the same page.” I still when Sevastyan nudges my hand away from my crotch with his foot, to press his toes to my cock almost too hard. “This isn’t for your pleasure. I don’t want you adding to the mess you already made.”
I reluctantly put my hand back on the floor. This is torment, but it only makes me imagine how I will come when he’s inside me. I hope it doesn’t hurt. He did say he has lots of experience. I swallow my nerves in a big gulp.
With one eye, I sneak a glance at the mirror to take in my pigment-stained body, my position with my ass up in submissive offering. He’s like a giant next to me. It’s so hot. I look hot.