Chapter 21 #2
Sketches of Seva sitting leisurely on the balcony.
Naked, and so powerful in his size and masculinity despite the bandage covering his head.
Studies of his body that include the burns but reveal my desperate attraction, because yes, I drew his cock hard in some of them.
In one of the sketches, I captured him playing with a large knife, and excitement squeezes the pit of my stomach when I look at it even now.
Yes, he is different now, but after struggling through a few terrible weeks, he’s emerging like a beautiful gargoyle carved out of indestructible stone and capable of eliminating anyone in his path with a deadly glare .
I want to never part from him, so I watch him turn the pages of my sketchbook.
The silence is eerie, because those drawings tell everything there is to say about my feelings for him, but he isn’t belittling me for them either.
He’s interested and even leans down to see some of the shading in more detail.
He stops on a recent portrait I did of him while he slept.
It’s just a quick study, the healthy side of his face squashed against the pillow, unruly hair spilling around him like a halo.
I made sure to commit to paper how long his lashes are, but the detail I focused on most were the chapped lips.
I miss them.
I miss them so very much, but still I’m ready to wait for physical affection until he's ready.
His thumb traces the paper, as if the pouting mouth is made of flesh and should be pliant to his touch.
I hold my breath as he inhales, ready to deliver his verdict.
“That’s... those are really good. You should be proud of yourself,” he says softly, hunched over the sketchbook as if he expects the next page to bring him pain.
But it’s only a little doodle of us both stretched on the floor by the window.
That’s how we often take our morning coffee, and the domesticity of that moment never fails to move me.
But he hesitates, and instead of moving on, returns to the sleeping portrait. “And you... would kiss those lips?”
I kneel in front of him and, with my hands on his thighs, arch up to give him a kiss. “I miss you, Seva. I miss you so much.”
I know he might still find it painful, so I press our lips together, but the gentle touch still sends a warm glow through my body. This is what I want.
He is who I want, and nothing could change that .
He exhales, turning his face so his nose pokes my cheek as we breathe in unison, so very close in the studio that brought us together so many days ago.
“No... what I said before is insufficient. Those drawings are some of your best. Every line shows how much you care about your subject. How you see him. How you see me .” His voice breaks, and he shivers, leaning forward until his shoulder rests against mine.
“You are the first person to know all of my faces and stay. I don’t deserve you. ”
I force his legs apart to crawl between them and press my cheek against his chest while I wrap my arms around his waist. I need to be close so much it hurts. “You do. If it was able to help you, I’d flay my hands and give you my skin.”
He cups my face, and while his touch is firm enough to make him hiss in discomfort, I don’t dare move when he meets my gaze with an intensity I’ve never seen from him before.
“No. Don’t you dare say such things. You matter too. You matter... so, so much,” he rasps, blinking as his eyes fog up. “You deserve a different life, but I still want you to stay, because I’m selfish. Because I love you too much to let go of you.”
This might be too much for my heart to take. I kiss him again. I could drown in him right now. Sevastyan is my dream, my reality, and the object of all my desires. I might be a moth he caught and pinned to the wall, but I’m still drawn to his light.
I bathe in the warmth of his affection and gently kiss his lips again. I’ve been afraid to make any advances since the accident, worried about the pain he’s in, but if my lust ends up being too much for him, he’ll have to push me away, because I need to show him just how much I love him .
“Then just never let me go,” I whisper.
“I won’t,” he says and presses our lips together again, this time with more passion. I love the way sunlight reflects on his features when I peek at him. Sure, he’s no longer classically gorgeous, but he’s Seva, and he’s mine. “I missed this.”
“And did you miss this?” I trail my kisses over his jaw, then down his neck, over the least affected skin. He feels so tender under my lips, like I’m getting to caress the raw inside of his soul.
He arches against me like a bow about to shoot a lust arrow straight into my chest. His throat pulses beneath my lips, and he utters a choked groan.
“Yes...”
“Yes?” I smile against his skin, stupidly elated to touch him this way.
I slide my hands over his thighs, already dying to pull off his pants.
It’s so hard to believe that he so quickly got me used to casual nudism that now the clothes we’ve been wearing since the accident feel like an unnecessary hindrance.
“The way you touch me... it feels so good,” he rasps and lifts his hips from the seat. I follow his cue and peel down his joggers, revealing thick thighs, his abs, that wonderful, wonderful cock already getting hard for me.
I might be salivating. “I’ve been waiting. I… I don’t want to push while you’re in pain, so tell me if it’s too much.” I worship every bit of him. There could be no other man in the world as far as I’m concerned.
He smells of the geranium soap that we use, and I suck on his nipple with a groan, already hard. He might have lost a bit of weight after the accident, but he still has the frame of a stallion in his prime. I love his meaty pecs, and how thick his thighs feel under my fingers.
“Never. Don’t fucking dare hold back,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head and tightening his thighs around my hips.
I know he might struggle grabbing me like he normally would, but none of this matters, because even if he couldn’t ever do that, we would still make things work.
I love him so fucking much, and I’ll express it to him with every bit of my body.
When I look up into his face, I’m aware of the scarring and see it clearly, but it’s just a part of him now, no different than the beauty spot on his pec, or his brilliantly blue eyes. This is the body that makes up all of him, the person I love.
I smirk as I glide my tongue between his pecs, and down his stomach. “Are you sure? I could back away if you want…”
“Don’t be a fucking tease,” Seva moans, and his cock bobs in front of my face as he thrusts his hips up, begging for attention as if I’m a stud everyone wants. But maybe it doesn’t matter that’s not the case, when only Seva’s desire counts?
I know he loves my hair so I make a show of pushing it to one side as I lower my mouth over the cockhead.
Bliss. Absolute bliss when I suck. It settles my heart as I replay his sweet words in my mouth. I indulge myself with his body by running my fingers up his stomach. I’m intoxicated by his smell and the broken moan he utters as I bob my head, painting his shaft with my saliva.
His thighs stiffen. The stomach twitches, and he gently rests one hand on my back, struggling for air.
“Oh fuck... so good... don’t stop...”
My mind should be on his dick, but as he glides his hand over my skin, I do wonder whether he’s lost his fingerprints. As horrible as that is, it would be useful.
Logical thoughts halt when Seva grunts and presses on my nape, forcing that glorious cock into my throat.
I gag a bit, but I’m not the inexperienced idiot who arrived at his house uninvited.
I adjust the position of my head, and let him in deeper, so horny I’m probably leaking into my pants already.
But he’s very aroused too, and I gorge myself on the flavor of his pre-cum as I work him with my hand and mouth.
I lived without sex for years, but this forced thirst has me gagging for him and literally waiting for him to come, just so I can make him hard again.
“Too good...” Seva mumbles, folding over me, as if he’s overstimulated already.
He opens his legs wider, but then I realize what he’s actually doing when I feel his toes against my cock through the pants. Oh God… I rock against his foot like a bitch in heat.
I moan over his cock, so very excited to connect with him again.
All the poetic emotions I feel for him are being shoved aside in favor of drool, cum, and sweat.
I’ve missed his body, his confident touch, and his desire for me, but he must have missed me too, because his cock feels even harder, and his foot twitches between my thighs.
A raspy noise escapes his lips just before cum shoots over my tongue, a reward for my patience.
“Fuck, you’re so good. Your mouth is made to be fucked. So hot and wet, and tight when you suck me...”
That’s all the praise I needed. I arch to his hand like a happy kitten, and make sure to swallow every last drop.
Impatiently, I pull my pants down enough to release my cock.
Sure, I could jerk off and get there in a matter of seconds now, but I want him to make me come.
I want it to be Seva’s doing so I feel his excitement even in that.
I moan in relief when his warm foot flattens against my cock, rubbing it mercilessly while I embrace his thigh with one arm and trail hurried kisses over it. Lights dance at the backs of my eyelids when he speaks.
“You neglected me long enough. I expect more from now on. ”
“Me?” I whine in frustration. “I was… ah… waiting for your move. I didn’t… want to push you. Oh fuck, almost there.” It reminds me of that first time at his breakfast table, me tied up, his foot against my cock, his cum on my tongue, and I was so, so desperate to finish.
His raspy laugh sends a shiver down my spine, because in this moment I truly believe we will be all right.
“You’ll have to make it up to me with many more blowjobs.”
His foot twists against me, and despite the sting it causes, I come, drooling on his thigh while seed splashes against his sole, making it deliciously slippery.
I whine and lick his salty skin, drowning in my own personal heaven.
“I will. Gladly,” I murmur, my heart full, and my mind empty.
No worries, just bliss. I grab his foot and shamelessly lift it to my mouth.
I never thought I’d be into foot stuff, but all I wanna do is suck his cum-stained toes, and I don’t care what that means.
He’s all mine and I will lick every inch.
He rewards me with an approving hum. “Good boy. Always clean after yourself,” he tells me, amusement flickering in his eyes as I suck on his big toe, longing to be closer, to wait for my next portion of cum right here—on my knees, with my chin resting in his lap.
“I missed you calling me that.” I give his sole one more lick that makes him chuckle and curl his toes at the tickle. I slowly climb up and sit my bare ass on his thigh.
For a few minutes, we remain quiet, enjoying each other’s warmth. If he never wants to leave, I guess we’ll die here one day. I just hope I won’t have to see him suffer.
I hope I go first, even if that’s selfish.