Chapter 17
“You’re quiet today.”
Eri looked up from the pillow she’d been studying like it was her first time seeing it.
Like it hadn’t been sitting there each time she’d come to a session.
She hadn’t realized she was being so quiet, but as she thought about it, they were ten minutes into her session, and she wasn’t sure she’d said more than twenty words.
“I guess I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Eri responded, and it was the truth.
All she’d been able to think about from the moment she’d left Elias’ house last week was what she felt.
What he’d made her feel. She’d been so overwhelmed, felt things she hadn’t in such a long time, and then he’d called her baby.
It was the first time he’d done so, as pathetic as it may have been for her to remember that, and something in her refused to calm down, to settle.
She hadn’t known how to deal with it, and when she’d awoken in the early hours of the morning before him, Eri realized she didn’t know how to face him because she’d gotten to know him, which meant she knew he would want to talk about it, and she wasn’t ready to, couldn’t have him looking at her differently.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Cherell asked.
“No,” Eri responded.
Talking about it wouldn’t change the fact that she’d run away.
That she’d allowed her feelings to overwhelm her and hadn’t done the one thing he’d asked her to do, the only thing he’d ever asked of her, to talk to him about what she was feeling.
But how was she supposed to put it into words, explain her reaction without telling him everything?
And even if she wanted to, she had no right to now.
She’d watched the phone ring when he'd called her that morning. Hadn’t responded to the text he’d sent the following day, and then there was nothing but radio silence between them.
Eri knew she was at fault, that all she had to do was talk to him, but that was easier said than done. She didn’t know how to broach the situation or if she would be able to be that vulnerable with him.
You should have thought about that before sleeping with him.
Eri ignored her inner thought because she had thought about it, and she hadn’t expected the emotions to overwhelm her, and when they had, they hadn’t particularly been negative, just too much for her to handle.
She felt safe with Elias, had trusted him not to hurt her, to stop if that was what she needed.
Which meant you should have felt safe enough to tell him what you were feeling.
Sometimes, Eri hated how logical she was, but logic didn’t always win out; it didn’t always rise to the surface when emotions were involved.
“How are your classes?” Cherell asked.
“They’re fine. I’ve gotten all of my assignments for the semester finished.”
“That’s good. Spring break is around the corner, right? Do you have any plans?”
“I’m going to spend some time with my dad, and maybe work on my portfolio,” Eri responded.
Cherell hummed, and Eri had gotten good at reading the subtle look in her eyes.
It was then she realized she’d inadvertently told her therapist what was wrong.
Because if what was bothering her had nothing to do with Elias, then why was she not also spending time with him during the break?
However, she knew Cherell wouldn’t push, and that anything Eri wanted to discuss, she would have to bring up.
The rest of her session went in much of the same fashion, which Eri knew wasn’t productive, but the only thing on her mind was the one thing she didn’t want to discuss.
She hoped that looking for a birthday gift for Nesiah later that afternoon with Avian would at least give her something else to think about for a while.
“I know Javier will want to spend her birthday with her, but we should take her to brunch on Sunday,” Avian said as they weaved through traffic a couple of hours later after finding gifts for Nesiah.
“Yeah. We can do that,” Eri responded, watching buildings pass by outside the passenger window.
Ten minutes later, they pulled into Body Expression’s parking lot to drop off some ink Marco needed and had left at home that morning.
Eri checked the parking lot. She didn’t see Elias’ car or motorcycle.
She knew the others parked in the back, but because he only worked there a few days a week and left when he was done, he tended to park in the front. So, she got out.
She wished she hadn’t thirty seconds later when she walked into the building and found him sitting at his station. It looked like he was getting ready for a client. He glanced up when they walked in.
“Hey, Avian,” he greeted. “Marco’s in his office.”
“Hey, thanks,” her friend responded. “I’ll be right back,” she informed Eri.
It was silent in the main area after she headed down the hall, and Eri was not a fan of awkward silences or the feeling that settled in her chest at him blatantly ignoring her.
But what did she expect? She was only receiving the same treatment she’d given by not answering his call or texting him back.
“Javier, where’s Nesiah?” Eri asked, turning her attention to the mentioned man.
“She’s headed home. You missed her by fifteen minutes. She has this tradition of only taking appointments for half the day before her birthday, and not taking any the day of.”
“Smart woman,” Eri responded. “I need to be sure to take half days before my birthday from now on.”
Eri glanced over at Elias, who was still setting up his station. She debated talking to him, trying to explain herself, but she knew the words wouldn’t come to her, and it wasn’t a conversation that she could cram into a few minutes before his client, or with Javier there to hear it.
That awkward silence set in again, and just as she was about to go wait in the car, where she wished she had stayed, Avian came down the hall.
“You ready?” her friend asked, and Eri nodded. “Bye, guys,” Avian said as they headed out the door.
“Bye, ladies,” Javier responded. At the same time, Elias replied, “Bye, Avian.”
That feeling in her chest reared its head again, and she didn’t miss the way Avian looked at her.
She hadn’t told her friend what had happened between her and Elias, and while she knew she could tell her, she wasn’t ready to talk about it when she asked, but she knew the other woman would not forget.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
“You want to talk about whatever that was about?” Javier asked.
Elias looked up as he finished setting up for his client. “No,” he told him.
Where most people probably would have played dumb and pretended they didn’t know what Javier was asking about, he wasn’t one of them.
But he was also under no obligation to talk to anyone about it.
She’d made her decision, and Elias would respect it, but it didn’t mean he had to put on an act.
He wouldn’t pretend that things were fine between them, not even to her.
She wanted to pretend he didn’t exist by ignoring his attempts to reach out, then he could do the same.
He would give what she seemed to want. Elias was well-versed in ignoring people when he needed to.
Hell, he’d grown up with Vince. He was also a firm believer in reciprocal treatment, and he would give her what she was asking for.
He could reach out again, but why would he?
He’d asked her to talk to him the last time she put distance between them, and she couldn’t do that.
Elias was a firm believer in communication, and he refused to be in a relationship without it.
He liked Eri. Enough to move at her pace to make sure she was comfortable, but he didn’t want to be the only one trying. He wouldn’t keep chasing her.
A relationship took two people to make it work. True, they hadn’t put a label on it, but for Elias, the principle was the same. In hindsight, maybe that was a good thing. Breaking off something with no label should be easier than if they’d put one on it.
It didn’t matter at this point. He’d done his part and reached out. His text and call had gone unanswered, and really, that was all the answer he needed from her.
The door opened, and he looked up to find his client walking in. He shook the thought of Eri from his mind. There were other things he needed to focus on.
Elias looked over the finished bike. His client was coming to pick it up the following day, and he’d wanted to give everything one last check, even though he’d done that at least three times already.
The bike was perfect, right down to the last detail the client had asked for.
It was one of his best works, something he thought of all his bikes, because he put two hundred percent of himself into each one.
After one final review, he covered the bike and turned to the next one he planned to work on.
Right now, the only thing he had was the frame, but he wasn’t under a strict timeframe.
True, Elias liked to deliver to his clients within a specific window, but it was always clear in his contracts that he didn’t do rush orders.
If someone wanted something like that, they were more than welcome to try one of the large motorcycle companies that allowed customization on their website.
Elias believed a motorcycle was an extension of the person riding it, and he created his with that in mind, with every client he worked with. The personal touches, the extra care that he put into it, were things they wouldn’t get from a motorcycle that came off an assembly line.
He didn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day.
Hell, the rest of the weekend, really. He had one tattoo session the following afternoon and dinner at his aunt and uncle’s house Sunday evening, but outside of that, his weekend was free.
Elias knew he could get a good bit of work done on the bike and decided that would be his focus for the weekend.
Staying busy was how he’d kept his mind off a frustrating woman who’d decided it was easier to run from him for the second time instead of talking to him.
He’d honestly thought they were past that, but he should have known.
When he’d asked her to communicate with him after the first time, she hadn’t sounded too confident in her ability to do so, and he’d heard it.
Knew that she might have trouble with it, and he still let it go.
The same way he had that night when he knew he shouldn’t have, when he knew she was trying to distract him and allowed it.
Their current situation was partially his fault because he’d known something was wrong, and had been na?ve enough to think he’d be able to talk to her about it the following day.
However, he’d done his part, he’d reached out, she’d ignored him, and that was that.
Thinking about what he could have done differently hadn’t helped him over the past week; it wouldn’t shed new light, and it didn’t matter either way.
It was what it was, and he’d leave it at that because there was only so much that he could do.
They’d been here before, but this time he would let sleeping dogs lie.
For the next several hours, Elias focused on the bike in front of him, clearing his mind of anything else.