LOVE HER
ADITHYA MENON
I stood outside the house, the cool night air brushing against my face, but it did nothing—absolutely nothing—to calm the storm raging inside me.
The silence outside felt too sharp.
Too loud.
And inside me—
It was worse.
Guilt crawled under my skin like something alive, something that wouldn’t let me breathe properly, something that kept tightening around my chest with every passing second.
I was the one who triggered it.
I was the one who pushed her there.
I closed my eyes tightly, dragging in a slow breath that refused to steady.
I shouldn’t have asked.
I knew she carried things she never spoke about.
And still—
I asked.
Because I thought I could help.
Because I thought if I understood her past…I could help her with her PTSD.
What a stupid thought.
A bitter laugh almost escaped me, but it got stuck somewhere in my throat.
Instead of helping—
I dragged her back into something she was clearly trying to run away from.
I could still hear her voice.
The way she screamed for her brother.
The way her entire body shook like she wasn’t even here anymore.
That fear—
It wasn’t normal.
It was deep.
Buried.
And I ripped it open without thinking twice.
I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms as if that pain could distract me from the one sitting heavy in my chest.
And then another thought hit me.
What would her brother do… if he finds out?
That I was the reason.
That I pushed her into that state.
Would he even trust me around her again?
Would he take her away?
The thought made my chest tighten even more.
Because suddenly—
The idea of her leaving didn’t feel like something distant anymore.
It felt close.
Too close.
I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling harshly as I stared into the empty road ahead.
I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do now.
Go back inside?
Face her?
What if she looks at me and remembers…
Not this moment—
But that fear?
I swallowed hard, my throat dry.
The way she clung to her brother kept replaying in my mind—again and again, like something stuck on a loop I couldn’t turn off.
Her fingers gripping his shirt.
Her voice breaking as she called his name.
The way she held onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely.
And me—
I stood there.
Useless.
I couldn’t even comfort her.
Not even a little.
When she started screaming… when her voice rose like that, filled with pure fear—
I froze.
I didn’t know what to do.
Didn’t know what to say.
Didn’t know how to reach her.
Because she wasn’t here.
Not with me.
She was somewhere else entirely—
somewhere I couldn’t follow.
I had called him.
In a hurry.
My hands shaking as I dialed, my mind blank except for one thought—
He needs to come.
Because I couldn’t handle it.
I couldn’t handle seeing her like that.
I couldn’t handle the fear in her eyes.
And I couldn’t handle the fact that I was the reason behind it.
I swear—
I was terrified.
Not just for her.
But of the situation itself.
Of how quickly everything spiraled out of control.
Of how helpless I felt standing there while she broke down right in front of me.
And then he came.
And just like that—
Everything changed.
She ran to him.
Held onto him.
And slowly… she calmed down.
Like he knew exactly what to do.
Like he had done this before.
That thought hit me harder than anything else.
He had done this before.
Which meant—
This wasn’t new.
This wasn’t the first time she had broken like that.
And somehow—
That made everything feel heavier.
Because while he held her and brought her back…
I just stood there.
Watching.
Realizing how little I actually knew about her.
I knew nothing about her.
Nothing that actually mattered.
I ran a hand over my face, my breath uneven as my eyes burned, the weight of everything pressing down on me all at once.
Before I could pull myself together, I heard footsteps behind me.
I turned and saw Vihaan walking toward me.
“Is she fine?” I asked quickly, stepping toward him without even thinking. “She’s okay, right?”
“She slept,” he muttered.
Relief rushed through me—
But it didn’t settle.
It didn’t stay.
“In the bed, right?” I asked, already moving past him. “I didn’t even arrange the bed for her, I —”
“Stop.”
His voice was firm.
Sharp enough to cut through my panic. My steps halted as I wiped my face quickly, turning back to look at him.
“I am taking her with me,” he said.
The words didn’t register immediately.
“What?”
My voice came out lower than I expected.
Tighter.
“I’m taking her with me,” he repeated.
Something inside me clenched painfully.
“No,” I said without thinking.
The word left my mouth before I could stop it.
Before I could even understand why I said it like that.
His eyes narrowed slightly.
“I mean… one year didn’t get completed, right?” I said, quickly, forcing reason into my words even when my chest felt anything but reasonable
He didn’t look convinced.
“Just a few more days… it won’t be a problem. I’m taking her to our house,” he said simply.
My throat tightened.
Tears burned at the back of my eyes, and I immediately lowered my gaze, staring at the ground because I didn’t want him to see it—
Didn’t want him to see how much that affected me.
“How did this even happen?” he asked after a moment, his voice calmer now but still serious. “Did you talk about something… childhood? Parents?”
My chest dropped.
“I… I asked her about your parents,” I said, my words coming out rushed, uneven. “I didn’t know… I swear, I didn’t know it would — I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to trigger anything, I just thought if I understood—”
“It’s okay.”
His voice cut through my panic.
He had his hands shoved into his pockets, his expression not angry… not even disappointed.
Just… tired.
“I should’ve told you earlier,” he said quietly.
I swallowed hard, my voice barely holding together.
“Once she wakes up, I’m taking her home.”
He said it again.
Like there was nothing left to discuss.
My hands trembled instantly, fingers curling into my palms as something sharp twisted inside my chest.
No.
I had to say something.
Anything.
To stop this.
“She can stay here,” I said quickly, my voice unsteady despite how hard I tried to keep it firm. “I’ll take care of her… I won’t bring up anything like that again.”
“She’s comfortable here,” I added, stepping a little closer, my heartbeat picking up. “Moving her right now —after everything that happened —it’s not a good idea.”
He said nothing.
Panic started creeping in.
That silence felt like a decision already made.
“I’ll be careful,” I said, my voice dropping now, almost pleading without my permission. “I won’t trigger anything again… I’ll make sure she’s okay.”
His gaze finally shifted to me.
I felt like he was seeing right through me.
“Do you love her?” he asked suddenly.
My breath hitched.
The question hit too close—too fast—like it had been waiting for me to let my guard down.
I looked at him, my mind going blank as a lump formed in my throat, heavy and unmoving.
No.
I had never thought about it.
I just stood there.
Staring at him like I was searching for an answer somewhere on his face—because I couldn’t find one within myself.
He exhaled slowly.
Took my silence as his answer.
“So you do love her,” he said.
My fingers tightened slightly at my sides as I lowered my gaze to the ground.
“Wow,” he added, looking away with a small, humorless laugh.
“I fucking knew this would end up like this,” he muttered under his breath.
I couldn’t accept it
But I couldn’t deny it either.
Not when I didn’t even understand what I was feeling myself.
“Look here,” he said.
I slowly lifted my gaze to him.
“Even if you love her… don’t confess it,” he continued, his voice steady but firm.
“Just… don’t,” he added. “The day you both get divorced is already close. Don’t ruin everything at the last moment.”
I stared at him.
Something inside me tightened again—
Not anger.
Not exactly pain.
But something close to both.
“Ruin?” I repeated quietly.
He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair.
“She’s already dealing with too much,” he said. “Her health… her past… everything. The last thing she needs right now is something complicated like this.”
I clenched my jaw slightly.
Because I knew he wasn’t wrong.
That’s what made it worse.
“She needs peace,” he added. “Not confusion.”
I looked away for a second, my mind running through everything at once—
Her smile.
Her voice.
The way she looked at me like nothing mattered sometimes.
And the way she broke today.
I swallowed hard.
“I wasn’t planning to say anything,” I said finally, my voice quieter now.
And that was true.
Because even if I wanted to—
What right did I have?
This marriage was temporary.
Forced.
Built on something that was never meant to last.
And she…
She was already leaving.
“Good,” he said.
I nodded slightly, though it didn’t feel like agreement.
It felt like…
Giving up something before I even fully understood it.
I walked past him without saying anything and went inside, my steps slower than usual, like I was delaying something I didn’t want to face.
The room was quiet.
Too quiet.
She was lying on the bed, her breathing soft, her face finally calm after everything that had happened.
For a moment, I just stood there.
Looking at her.
As if trying to memorize it—
The way her hair fell over her face,
The way she held the edge of the blanket unconsciously,
The way she looked so… peaceful.
Like none of the chaos inside her existed.
I walked closer, each step heavier than the last.
Carefully, I adjusted the blanket over her, tucking it around her like she would wake up and complain if I didn’t do it properly.
My hand hovered near her face.
Just there.
So close.
My fingers twitched slightly, a silent urge pulling me forward—
To touch her.
To feel if she was really here.
But I stopped.
Because I knew my limits.
I didn’t have that right.
Not anymore.
Maybe I never did.
My jaw tightened as I slowly pulled my hand back, the distance between us suddenly feeling too large for something so small.
Tears burned at the corner of my eyes, but I forced them back, swallowing everything that threatened to spill.
I turned away quickly, grabbing my bike key from the table like I needed something to distract myself.
Before leaving, I looked at her one last time.
Just once.
Because something inside me whispered—
This might be the last time she lies in this room like this.
And I walked out.
Past him.
Without stopping.
“I’m taking her with me,” he said again.
This time, it didn’t feel like a statement.
It felt deliberate.
Like he wanted me to hear it.
Like he wanted it to sink in.
I didn’t look at him.
“Okay,” I said simply.
One word.
That was all I could manage.
I started the bike, the engine roaring to life louder than necessary, filling the silence I couldn’t bear.
And then I drove away.
Not because I wanted to leave—
But because staying…
Would have broken something inside me that I wouldn’t be able to fix.
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