KISSES AS PAYMENT
"Are you afraid of losing me?" I asked.
He nodded, his eyes lifting slowly to meet mine with a vulnerability so raw that it almost hurt to look at.
I saw the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, the way his lips trembled despite his effort to keep them steady, the way he turned his face away as if hiding would somehow stop the emotions spilling out of him but it didn't, because the tears came anyway, slipping down his face.
And suddenly he didn't look like the strong, composed, unshakable man I had always known.
He looked small.
Fragile and terrified.
My chest constricted painfully as I stepped forward without even thinking, my arms wrapping around him instinctively, pulling him into me as if my embrace alone could protect him from everything he was feeling, and the moment I did, he gave in completely, his body leaning into mine like he had been waiting for this, his arms tightening around me as he buried his face into my shoulder, hiding there, holding onto me.
I felt his tears, soaking through my shoulder, as he sobbed against my skin, his entire body trembling slightly as the weight of his fear finally found its way out.
"I am going nowhere, Adithya," I whispered, my hand moving slowly along his back, trying to calm the storm that had taken hold of him.
"I am not going to leave you," I said again, firmer this time.
He broke further at that, a quiet sob escaping him, his grip tightening around me.
I pulled back slightly after a moment, my heart aching at the sight of him, because this was the first time I had ever seen him like this, completely stripped of the strength he always carried so effortlessly.
I cupped his cheeks gently, my thumbs brushing away his tears, even though they kept falling, his skin warm under my touch, his eyes still glistening as he struggled to steady his breathing.
"Relax," I murmured softly, my voice calm.
He tried to compose himself, but his breath came out uneven, his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that betrayed how shaken he still was.
"I- I am sorry... for overreacting," he said, his voice breaking, his gaze dropping as if he was ashamed of what he had just shown me.
I shook my head immediately, my hands still holding his face, not letting him look away from me.
"No. You didn't overreact. You just expressed your emotions," I continued softly, wiping the last of his tears as gently as I could. "And you don't even have to apologise for that."
My voice softened further as I added, almost in a whisper, "I am the one who should apologise."
"I don't know...but even a small thing... about you leaving me... or about divorce...it triggers something in me and I start overthinking all over again." He said.
I stepped closer again, closing the space between us, my forehead resting gently against his, my hands still cradling his face.
"I am here," I said, my voice barely a breath now, but steady. "And I am staying."
I didn't just want him to hear it.
I wanted him to feel it in every part of him that was afraid to believe.
I cupped his neck as I titled my head and pressed my lips against his, sealing my words. He kissed me back with the same passion while my stomach twirled the next second I felt his lips moving against mine in a quite rhythm. My skin tingled with goosebumps and I clutched him tighter.
I pulled away and looked at his tear stricken face. His doe eyes blinked at me innocently and he looked far too cute for my poor heart to handle.
"Do you smell like baby powder?" I asked as I smiled faintly at him, my finger tracing along his jaw. "Because you act like one."
He lowered his gaze immediately, the redness slowly spreading across his face again, and I couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped me at how ridiculously shy this man became whenever emotions were involved.
I reached forward and pulled his cheek gently between my fingers.
"So cute to handle," I murmured, unable to stop smiling as I leaned closer and bit his cheek.
"You are not leaving me?" He asked, like a child needing reassurance.
I groaned dramatically and flicked my fingers against his forehead lightly.
"Not in this life," I said firmly.
"And this money..." he muttered, his brows knitting together slightly. "I don't want this. Please take it back."
I nodded slowly, though the mere thought of explaining all this to Vihaan, arguing with him, convincing him to understand, already felt exhausting enough to give me a headache.
"Just transfer the money to my account," I said finally.
He looked at me for a second before nodding once.
"And we shouldn't use even a single penny from it," he added seriously.
I tried not to smile.
"Okay, sir," I replied obediently, giving him a mock respectful nod.
A soft chuckle escaped him finally and he pulled away from me after one last lingering glance.
"I am hungry," he muttered under his breath as he started walking toward the kitchen.
My eyes widened immediately.
Oh no.
I followed him hurriedly into the kitchen, because in the middle of all the overthinking and crying and fear, I had completely forgotten to eat.
I hadn't eaten the entire day.
The moment Adithya opened the casseroles and saw the food untouched exactly the way I had left it in the morning, his movements slowed. Then his eyes shifted toward me.
I froze for one second before immediately lifting both my hands in surrender.
"Sorry," I muttered quickly. "I forgot to eat."
His expression darkened instantly.
"And you forgot to take your medications too?" he asked.
I smiled nervously. Without answering him properly, I quickly grabbed a plate and started filling it with food in a desperate attempt to distract him before the lecture began.
"Calm down," I said hurriedly, stuffing a spoonful into my mouth before he could speak. "Please don't start your lecture."
He stared at me in complete disbelief.
"You don't even have a trace of worry over your own health," he muttered, crossing his arms tightly over his chest as he leaned against the counter, frustration and concern mixing so visibly on his face that it almost made me feel bad.
I continued chewing slowly. Then pointed my spoon at him.
"I was emotionally unstable," I defended weakly.
"That is not an excuse," he shot back immediately.
I sighed dramatically and took another bite.
"See? I am eating now. Problem solved."
"No," he said flatly. "That's not how this works."
I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter beside him.
"Mr. Justice Saviour," I muttered. "Please stop looking at me like I committed a crime."
"You did," he replied instantly. "You skipped food, ignored medicines, cried the whole day, and probably stressed yourself enough to collapse."
I blinked at him innocently.
"Well... when you say it like that it sounds serious."
"It is serious," he snapped.
"The food is salty," I muttered, scrunching my nose dramatically as I deliberately changed the topic before he could continue lecturing me about my health like a disappointed husband trapped inside the body of a nurse.
He narrowed his eyes at me immediately, clearly aware of what I was doing.
But instead of arguing further, he simply took the plate from my hands with a quiet sigh and turned toward the stove.
"I'll make something else for you," he said.
I grinned instantly and hugged him from behind, wrapping my arms around his hip as I rested my cheek between his shoulders. He paused for a second at the sudden contact. Then I leaned up slightly and pressed a soft kiss against the nape of his neck.
"Viyana..." he muttered warningly, though there was absolutely no strength behind it.
"What?" I asked innocently, tightening my hold around him.
"You suddenly become affectionate whenever you want to escape consequences," he said, trying very hard to sound serious while his ears slowly turned red.
I giggled. "That means it's working."
He shook his head helplessly as he opened the fridge and started taking ingredients out while I continued clinging to him shamelessly like an overgrown koala.
"You know," I murmured softly, my lips brushing his shoulder as I spoke, "for someone who was convinced I would leave him forever two hours ago...you are very obediently cooking for me now."
He stopped for a second before turning his head slightly, enough for me to catch the faint smile finally appearing on his face.
"I am still emotionally damaged," he muttered.
I laughed softly and rested my chin against his shoulder.
"You are cute when emotionally damaged."
"I am suffering and this is what you conclude?" he asked.
"Yes."
He clicked his tongue in fake annoyance before continuing to cook while I stayed wrapped around him, swaying slightly with him every time he moved.
"For how long are you going to hold me like this?" he asked, trying to sound irritated while stirring the food with the spatula, though I could clearly hear the smile hidden beneath his voice.
I only tightened my arms around his waist further, pressing myself more comfortably against his back like I had absolutely no plans of leaving anytime soon.
He let out a dramatic sigh.
"Every time I walk," he muttered while moving slightly near the stove, "it feels like I am carrying a very heavy bag."
I slapped his shoulder hard enough to make him hiss.
"Excuse me?" I gasped. "Heavy bag?"
He chuckled instantly, the sound low and warm, vibrating softly through his chest.
"You hit me and still continue hugging me," he said. "Very violent love language."
"You deserve it," I muttered, narrowing my eyes even though he couldn't see me properly.
He shook his head slowly while continuing to cook.
"You know," he sighed dramatically again, "other husbands come home and get peace."
"And?"
"I come home and become a portable emotional support pillow," he added
I burst out laughing and buried my face against his neck. "That's because you are comfortable."
"Comfortable?" he repeated. "My spine is suffering."
"You are strong. Manage it." I said.
He clicked his tongue in fake annoyance before slightly turning his head toward me.
"You know what the worst part is?"
"What?" I asked
"I actually like this."
My heart softened instantly.
I smiled slowly against his shoulder as warmth spread through me so naturally that it almost scared me sometimes, how easily this man could make ordinary little moments feel important.
"You are addicted to me," I declared proudly.
He snorted softly.
"No," he corrected calmly. "I am cursed."
I laughed and hugged him even tighter just to annoy him more.
"Adithya," I muttered softly after a moment.
"Hm?"
"If one day I become old and wrinkly and annoying- "
"You are already annoying."
I slapped his shoulder again.
He laughed quietly.
"If I become old," I continued stubbornly, "will you still let me cling to you like this?"
He slowly peeled my hands away from around his waist before turning toward me fully, and before I could even ask what he was doing, his hands slipped to my waist and he effortlessly lifted me onto the kitchen counter, making me gasp softly in surprise as I instinctively held onto his shoulders.
He stepped closer immediately after, trapping me between himself and the counter, his arms resting on either side of me as the warm kitchen light fell across his face, softening every sharp edge of him until he looked unfairly beautiful standing there so close.
He leaned closer slowly and lightly tapped his finger against his cheek, quitely asking for a kiss there.
I blinked at him once. Then burst into a soft laugh.
"Really?" I whispered.
"Hm," he hummed shamelessly, waiting patiently.
I shook my head fondly before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against his cheek.
"Only if you charge me with kisses," he murmured quietly.
My heart overwhelmed with emotions. Because how was I supposed to survive a man like this?
A man who looked at me like I was home. A man who could go from crying in my arms to standing in the kitchen demanding kisses as payment. A man who loved me so openly in the smallest little ways that I sometimes forgot how to breathe around him.
The warmth spreading through my chest became almost overwhelming as I looked at him standing between my legs, his hands still resting securely on my waist as if he belonged there.
And maybe- he did.
I cupped his face gently, my fingers brushing against the softness of his damp hair near his forehead.
"You know something?" I whispered.
"What?" he asked softly.
"I think the universe made you specifically to ruin my peace."
He chuckled quietly, as he leaned his forehead lightly against mine.
"And you," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine, "were sent to destroy whatever sanity I had left."