6. Johnny
6
JOHNNY
“ W innie, answer me.” I took a detour when I spotted my wife’s car at the park. Heading to my parents’ to sit down and talk to them is now at the back of my mind. I couldn’t stay away from Winnie even if I tried, especially after I saw what I saw. I pulled in beside a car I would know anywhere; the dark color, the tinted windows, and the license plate gave it all away. Winnie didn’t change her license, didn’t change her registration, which meant I kept the insurance and everything that goes along with owning a car up to date. The first time the bill came in, I sat it on my desk, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with it. We’d been away from one another for nearly four months. Still, I paid the bill and kept at it. I’d come to the stark realization that shit got out of hand way too quickly. I’d delivered some harsh words that now, after years of being without her, I know I’d change.
As my mother so eloquently stated, if that were your sister, speaking about my older sister, I’d have never given up on her. We’d all follow her to Jupiter to help her. She set me straight real quick, gave me more facts of life that I never knew, and left me speechless. Of course, I had questions, a lot of them. During her rant, she switched from English to Spanish then back to English. My head fucking spun. Dad broke it down to me that Mom’s cousin had an addiction problem, the whole family came together to help him in whatever way they could, and with that, he made it through to the other side. She also went on to say, sometimes it doesn’t work out that way, but what you don’t do is abandon your wife because you’re tired of helping carry the load. Harsh and truthful.
“Johnny.” There’s a hitch in her voice. Her back is still turned to me, and after getting an up close and personal view of the two of them, I get it. I sat and watched as she ran with a boy whom I’ve never met before to the restroom, hearing them giggle and laugh together. Never in my life did I think I’d be an outsider in Winnie’s life, except I am.
My wife is a mom now. The only question I’m unsure of is who’s the father.
“Alright, I’ll re-word this differently. Did you leave me because of him?”
“Yes.” Her voice comes out torn and broken. I close my eyes, clench my fists on the back of the bench so hard, I wouldn’t be surprised if the wood splintered. I left out the business plan to Night Moves; I wanted to take the club to the next level. Now it seems like it could have been part of the reason Winnie left all along. My thirst for more pushed her away and right into her sister’s hands.
“Fuck me, you’re not giving me a whole lot of answers, carino.” I see her shoulders tremble.
“You won’t like any of them, and I’m not ashamed to beg for the divorce. Please, if you can’t do it for me, do it for him.” I move until I’m in front of her, going to my haunches, and look at her. I’m careful not to block her view of who I’m coming to realize is a boy who looks exactly like my wife—the blond hair, the blue eyes, the same porcelain skin, and, goddamn, his smile. It’s exactly like hers, enough to light you up from the inside out.
“Can’t and won’t do that until I know. Is he mine?” I watch as she closes her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks, and as much as I want to touch her, I won’t. Not yet. Not while this hangs around my neck like a rope ready to tighten at any given minute.
“I wish he were. God, how I wish he were yours.” She opens her eyes as her gut-wrenching words hit me. Ones I’ve been afraid of since I laid my eyes on the two of them.
“Soy un idiota.” I’m an idiot. I hang my head, rest my elbows on the tops of my thighs, and look at the ground. It’s like a perfect fucking storm. I pushed her away, and she ran as fast as she could to another man.
“No, you’re not. I am, and now I’m asking you to please sign the papers, so I don’t lose him. I’m the only person he’s got, Johnny.” She left me for her sister, found someone else, and is asking for a divorce for her son. How the hell can I fault her for that?
“There’s no other way around this?” My head is spinning. I’m trying to do the math in my head. Her boy is a toddler, but given I’ve not seen him except from a distance, it’s hard to judge his age.
“No, I’ve tried. Believe me, I hate asking you to do this. In a perfect world, I’d be back here to try and fix us, but I’m running out of time, and I’ve got the wolves knocking on my door.” Redness tinges her usually crystal-blue eyes.
“Fuck me.” She looks over my shoulder. I sit down, ass to the wood chips, arms resting on my knees, and wait her out. It’s been years. A few more minutes won’t kill me.
“Oh no.” Winnie stands up abruptly and runs toward the little boy, whose name I don’t know. I move to do the same, but she is faster than me, running as fast as she can, hoofing it to her son. “Sebastian, I’m coming, baby.” I take off right behind her, on her heels, and that’s when I notice he’s lying flat on his back.
“Son of a bitch.” I pull my phone out of my pocket, unlock it, and pull up Luke’s number.
“It hurst. Big owie,” Sebastian says when Winnie drops to the ground beside him
“Stay still, don’t move. Where does it hurt?” she asks, soothing him, running her hand along his forehead. I’m cussing myself up and down, black and blue. I should have called her, set up a time to talk, and then maybe Sebastian wouldn’t be lying flat on the ground, the wind knocked out of him and complaining about being hurt.
“My back,” he says.
“I’m calling Luke. Keep him still for a minute, sí?” I press Luke’s contact, put my phone up to my ear, and wait for him to answer.
“Is that Johnny, Auntie Winnie?” I hear the phone ringing on the other end of the line, but my attention is everywhere but on the call.
“What’s up, Johnny? You okay?” I open and close my mouth. I’m a fish out of water. Everything I thought I knew has once again been turned on its axis.
“Johnny.” Matthew calls my name.
“Johnny, fuck, man you there?” he says again. My phone slips out of my hand, and I drop to my knees, looking at the little boy who knows my name, yet I’m clueless as to who he is. Obviously, Sebastian is Melanie’s, and I’m left with even more questions than before.
“Hey, Luke, it’s Winnie. Johnny’s here. He called because my nephew took a bad fall from the jungle gym and is complaining of back pain.” She’s soothing her nephew while helping me with Luke. I really need to pull my shit together.
“Do you need me to head that way?” I hear Luke ask. She puts my phone to her shoulder and starts using her hands to go over every inch of Sebastian’s body, asking if this or that hurts.
“I think we’re good. I’m going to sit him up and go from there,” she responds.
“Alright, I’ll have my phone on me. Tell Johnny to drop a line. Him going silent is saying a lot.”
“You look like Abuelo,” Sebastian states, better than he was when he first feel.
“I’m going to let you go now.” Winnie drops the phone, hits the end button, and hands it back to me.
“Is he okay?” I ask. I’m going to get my answers when there aren’t little ears to hear everything. I’ve been around Briar enough to know when and how to keep my mouth shut, especially when it comes to certain words. Kennedy will not have a child who has a nasty mouth even though she’s been known to use said word before. If anyone says it around Briar when she’s around, we’re all getting the mom look.
“I think so. Nothing is broken, and he’s able to move his arms and legs just fine,” I’m told as Winnie looks at Sebastian. “What do you say, bud, are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, I tink so. Can I have snack now?” I let out a laugh as the uneasiness slowly dissipates from my stomach. No longer is there a rock lodged in my throat, either.
“Yes, you may have a snack.” I hold my hand out to Sebastian, offering to help him up.
“I big boy.” He shakes his head, sits up, and then uses his hands to lift the rest of his body up.
“Yeah, you are. How old are you?” I ask. My hand settles at Winnie’s lower back once we’re all on our feet. Her gaze goes from Sebastian to me, and a nervous look takes over her face.
“I almost four.” He shows me with his fingers, holding each one up at a time.
“Wow, you are a big boy.” I do the math in my head. Clearly, this is Melanie’s boy, and I know genes work in mysterious ways. Winnie’s sister had more strawberry-blonde hair, skin that wasn’t near the same tone as her sister’s, different color eyes, and Melanie never smiled.
“Auntie Winnie says I her baby.” He puffs up his bottom lip in a pout and crosses his arms over his little boy chest, stopping us in our short walk back to the bench.
“Well, you are, even when you’re bigger than me,” she tells him, tousling his hair, “Which won’t take long at the rate you’re growing.”
“I remember mi madre complaining all too well about the growth spurts I’d go through. I’d eat her out of house and home, and the next day, my clothes would be two sizes too small.” I’m trying to keep things light when all I really want to do is wrap my arms around Winnie, let her tell me exactly what is going on, and allow her to fall apart so I can put her back to-fucking-gether again.
“Your mom activated the whole family. I never stood a chance. I’d apologize, except I needed her, and I promise you we’ll talk more when he’s down for a nap.” Winnie goes to the bag on the bench, riffles through a few things until she finds what she’s looking for.
“I no nap. I big boy,” he says again. I’m guessing this happens quite often.
“Yeah, yeah. Apple sauce, veggie sticks, or crackers?” She holds out all three options, a pouch thing that you can twist the top off, cut vegetables consisting of carrots and celery, which what kid would eat that without a pound of some type of condiment, and then the crackers that have absolutely no flavor added to them.
“Apple sauce and veggies,” Sebastian tells her.
“Alright, we need to find some shade, though.” Watching my wife in mom mode is completely different than when it’s only the two of you.
“There’s a pavilion over there, or we can sit in my car with the air conditioning on.” Sweat is dripping down my back, and the sun is only getting hotter.
“Yes, yes, yes. Your car.” Sebastian jumps up and down, both fists full of snacks.
“Johnny, he can’t. He’s a messy eater. Your car is going to be ruined,” Winnie tries to switch things up.
“It’s a car, not a museum, mi esposa.” The words my wife slip off my tongue. I’m back in her presence for less than twenty minutes, and it’s like time hasn’t passed between us. “I’d rather not sweat my balls off, and I’m sure you both could use a reprieve. Not going to complain if he conks out, either, Winnie. We’ll get to talk, and you can tell me what’s happening.”
“Fine, but you’re going to hate me.” She’s at war with herself. “Want a ride to the car, Seb?” She opens her arms, and he leaps up. I grab her bag, following her to where we’re parked.
“Not as much as I’ve hated myself,” I murmur to myself. Clearly, she hears me, judging by the way her body locks up.
“We’ve both made mistakes, me more than you, and I promise we’ll talk, but it has to be when he’s asleep. I also need to get the show on the road because time is not in my favor.”
“I no nap,” Seb interjects.
“You’re not napping, big guy. Come on. Let’s get outta the heat.” I guide them to my car, lighter than I’ve been in four years. Winnie isn’t leaving, which means she’s a package deal, a problem that doesn’t bother me in the least.
“See, I big boy.”
“Okay, fine, you are.” She plays with him while we’re walking. The two of them clearly have a tight bond, which only makes me wonder how long she’s been raising him without Melanie, making the plot thicken further.