Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CARTER
She’s here with us and alive. It’s such a fucking relief, but I’m so goddamn pissed that they hurt her—although I’m not surprised.
St. Dymphna’s still lives in my nightmares.
I spoke with Killian in the kitchen, and he is confident she’s not safe.
I agree with him. It wasn’t a complete surprise for him to tell me about his deal with the priest because Butch had already told us about it.
I’m so furious with my brother, but I’m not happy about what he has agreed to.
Especially because I think it’s a set-up although I don’t know the details.
We need to be prepared for anything when this fight goes down.
Kill is a skilled fighter, but he could lose, and if he does, it means death for him and possibly for us.
As pissed as I am, I don’t want my brother to die.
Even on that horrible night, I didn’t want him dead—I just wanted him out of sight.
Knox carries her into the back of the Range Rover and slides in beside her.
“Are you okay with her between us?” he asks, and I nod.
“I trust her. Implicitly.”
Killian slides into the front seat, and Heather asks, “Does he have to come with us?”
If she knew what he was giving to get her out of the asylum, she might feel differently. I don’t understand why, but he asked me not to tell her. For now, I won’t.
“Killian will be helpful. He won’t betray us again, I’m sure of it. There’s too much on the line for him. We need him here in case your family finds us. We don’t have much choice but to trust him.”
“Fine.” she says while crossing her arms over her chest.
“Maybe you trust him, but I don’t.”
She glances in the rearview mirror, where he’s staring at her.
“And I don’t forgive. I kill.”
I can tell my brother feels guilty—it’s written all over his face but it doesn’t take back what he did.
Even putting his life on the line doesn’t change anything.
He isn’t to blame for everything, but he certainly put wheels in motion that took her from us.
I’m not sure that can ever be forgiven. I get into the SUV on the other side of Heather and tap my shoulder.
“Right here, Little Heathen. Where you belong.”
She lies her head on me with a sweet sigh escaping her lips. Heather sits with her hand on my brother's thigh and his on hers. Killian drives off, and for right now, all is perfect in my world. If she’s here, I can exist peacefully.
“Where are we going?”
Killian answers her.
“Arizona. We have a safe house there for these types of situations.”
He leaves out that we have never needed it until now. Before everything happened, he would’ve made a point to blame her, but I’m glad he doesn’t now. I do wonder if he’s thinking it, but won’t ask in front of her.
I kiss Heather on the forehead, and she moans softly.
“I missed you both so much.”
She tucks her free hand between her closed thighs as she stares at me, her expression telling me what she needs right now.
I lean down and touch the side of her face in a soft but possessive grip while brushing my lips over hers.
“Are you okay, Little Heathen?”
I know she was hit, but I don’t know more than that.
“I am now.” She breathes.
“They had no right to lay a fucking finger on you. And they will pay for it.”
It doesn’t matter what their reasoning was, because they never should’ve raised a hand to her. Once she’s safe and her family is dead—the asylum and everyone in it are next.
“I wouldn’t kneel. They constantly want people to get on their knees, but I couldn’t—because I only kneel for the two of you. My men.”
I spot the pained expression on Killian's face in the mirror but ignore it, focusing my attention on the only thing that matters right now.
“I remember the kneeling and prayer bullshit. Although for me, it involved constant touching to ‘force the demon out.’”
Tears roll down her face, her eyes full of horror from hearing the things I’ve been through.
This is one of the things I love most about her—she gets me like nobody else.
My brothers know I have trauma and respect my boundaries, but no one gets it like Heather.
It’s as if she can feel my pain. I don’t wish that for her, but it’s beautiful to see.
Having someone who knows your flaws and accepts you anyway—she’s like coming home.
Finally belonging, when I’ve been a misfit my entire life.
I’ve always thought that Knox and Killian were twins and I was a mistake. A garbage embryo that should’ve died.
“I love you,” I admit while my heart races, wondering if she’s going to reject me.
“I love you too, Carter. Do you remember what I told you?”
I stare at her, unsure what she’s referencing.
“This is not the end. It’s the beginning of the most beautiful love story ever told. Because it’s ours.”
I nod, “I remember.”
Her next words feel partly like a lecture. One I deserve.
“Death is the end of your story, not a mere chapter. Please choose life. Choose me the way I choose you.”
I glance up at Killian in the front seat, and his eyes meet mine, but there’s no regret in his gaze.
“She had a right to know.”
Swallowing hard, I clear my throat and try to explain my actions.
“I thought you were dead and living without you-“
Taking a shaky breath, I try to force out the terrible pain of losing her.
“One breath without you is one breath too many. I am sorry, Little Heathen, that will not change. This is not a manipulation tactic. I can’t exist in a world where you don’t. It’s too painful, and I think I’ve lived through enough pain.”
She nods with a sweet little smirk on her face.
“Well, could you make sure I’m dead in the future, Romeo? Because I don’t want to live without you either.”
Her face turns serious as she shakes her head as if she’s trying to clear it of intrusive thoughts. Something I know all too well.
“Do you know what it would’ve done to me to come back and find out you were gone? That you took yourself from me?”
I swallow hard, her words shaking me to the core. If the roles were reversed, I’d be furious with her.
“I’m sorry. Forgive me, Little Heathen. Living without you was-” I sigh a long, drawn-out breath and continue.
“There are no words to justify what I did and what it could have done to you.”
Glancing between her and Knox, I say, “And my brother.”
“Brothers,” Heather whispers, and I nod and repeat that one word that tastes poisonous on my tongue.
“Brothers.”
I know I have two brothers, but I’m still awfully pissed at one of them so I can’t even think about him right now.
I would be fighting with Knox about him being near her if I didn’t know we needed him.
Do I trust him? Not completely, but unfortunately it’s a risk we have to take.
I heard his cries that night. The pleading with God. I knew he regretted it—even then.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
Her lips lift into a small smile.
“Kiss me and make it better, Carter.”