Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CARTER
Iwish I were in this fight instead of Killian.
Listening to her talk about Grave and what he did to her—what he cost her — caused the anger to bubble up to the point of barely being able to contain it.
The desire to butcher this fucker while he screams is strong.
Yet, I don’t have that option because of the fight.
If he loses, we are supposed to accept it without retaliation.
That’s the agreement Killian made. I was not consulted, and I won’t stand by it.
If Killian doesn’t end this fucker's life —I will.
I’ll rip his fucking throat out. He will learn what happens to anyone who hurts what belongs to me. And my Little Heathen—is mine.
“Carter?”
Her voice is like a soothing balm and instantly calms me.
I look down and find her kneeling in front of me, hands behind her back, with concerned blue eyes fixed on mine.
Leaning forward, I stroke my fingers through her silky blonde hair as I attempt to assure her.
“Yes, beautiful girl. I’m fine.”
I don’t tell her how pissed I am that there are more assholes who hurt her—who took from her without consent.
“You’re angry.”
It’s not a question, but an observation. Heather sees everything. I can hide my feelings from most of the world, but with her—I can’t.
And I don’t want to.
“Did it make you angry when I told you what happened to me?” I ask, knowing the answer but wanting to make a point.
Her expression turns from sad to angry, confirming my suspicions.
“Yes. Heartbroken and furious. You were so little-“
She shakes her head and releases a shaky breath.
“You were a toddler, Carter. A fucking baby.”
A solitary tear falls down her cheek.
“Yes, I’m angry. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” She says quietly.
I can feel my brothers watching us and listening to every word, probably because I never speak about this topic.
I place my palm on her chin and gently tilt her head back.
“And you didn’t deserve what happened to you, Little Heathen. Do you understand that?”
More tears fall, and I know the truth before she says the words that gut me.
“Some, but not all. I made everything worse with my defiance.”
She stares at me, my broken girl, guilt reflecting in her eyes—shame is the last thing that belongs there. Talking about what happened to me is always the last thing I want to do, but if it helps her, maybe it’ll be worth it.
“My father and his men poured water over my face—buckets of water. I fought back. Then they beat me for fighting. Did I deserve that? Is it my fault for having the will to survive?”
“No,” she whispers quietly as I remove my hand from her face.
“But I-“
Killian looks ready to blow a gasket, and Knox isn’t far behind him, but he speaks to her in a gentle tone.
“Enough, Tesoro. If it wasn’t Carter’s fault, it can’t be yours either. You were a child—a victim. Don’t re-victimize yourself. You didn’t deserve it then and you don’t deserve it now.”
She glances at me and then Knox before looking at Killian, sitting at the far end of the couch.
“What do you need, Killer?”
Heather pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as her cheeks turn crimson.
“Have any of you ever wondered-“
She drops her head and shuts her eyes tight.
“Oh, my god. I’m embarrassing myself. Never mind. What I need is to not talk about my past anymore tonight.”
Killian motions for her to come over to him. I watch as she crawls—fucking crawls over to him.
She climbs onto his lap and stares at him, her eyes full of hunger and desperate with need.
Kill runs his tongue over his bottom lip as she tracks the movement with her eyes.
“Finish what you were asking before. Have we ever wondered-what?”
Heather squeezes her eyes shut tight when Killian gently reprimands her.
“No, baby. Eyes on me. There’s no hiding and no shame. Tell us what you want.”
He traces his thumb over her bottom lip, and she darts her tongue out, licking at his flesh.
The room is silent other than our harsh breaths as we wait for her to say the words.
We know what she wants. It was only a matter of time—but she has to express it audibly.
The need in this room is visceral, as if it’s an entirely separate person.
“I want all of you—at once to take me away from the past. I wondered if any of you had thought about being with me at the same time.”
Killian groans as he runs his hands down her sides.
“There’s my pretty little slut. You want all three of us to fuck you? Do you think you can handle it?”
Heather places her hands on his chest and drags her fingernails down his flesh, and I can clearly see it had her desired effect on him.
“I want to—try. I had a dream and can’t stop thinking about it.”
Knox and I exchange a look. We both thought this would eventually happen, certainly if they keep getting along, but neither of us imagined it would be from her urging.
“What did we do to you in this dream, Tesoro?”
Reaching over, he takes her hand and rubs his thumb over her palm, calming her visible anxiety.
Closing her eyes, she releases a sweet sigh as if the memory itself were pleasurable.
“This was the first dream in a long time that wasn’t a nightmare. We weren’t having sex—not yet, anyway. All three of you were kissing me. My arms, legs, stomach—everywhere.”
Her gaze turns to me with an unsure look on her face, and I know she’s thinking I might not want this—but she’s fucking wrong. I’ll take her alone or share her with my brothers, and if this is her fantasy, it’s mine, too. I can’t give her everything she desires, but I can give her this.
“We will figure out the logistics, Little Heathen. If you want anything, you know you only need to ask.”
She still doesn’t get it. I’m obsessed not only with her but fulfilling her every need.
This woman is my every goddamn waking thought and if she wants all three of us to fuck her—we will.
There are very few things I wouldn’t do for her, and those few things revolve around her safety.