Chapter Ten
Hallie
My heart is hammering, but even though I want to run around the room like a headless chicken, I make myself stand still as Fraser kisses me.
Mmm… he’s so gentle. I love the way he kisses me as if he has all the time in the world. The world around us slowly fades away, and the only thing that exists is Fraser, with his big, strong hands and his firm, warm lips.
I feel like a precious artifact in his hands. He handles me like a fragile carving or an ancient piece of jewelry, the way I imagine Basil Brown handled the Anglo-Saxon belt buckle that came out of the Sutton Hoo ship burial. I’m sure he studied it with a similar reverent look, and the same awe, and his fingers stroked across the gold and garnets with the care and affection that Fraser shows as he brushes his thumbs over my cheekbones.
He slides his hands into my hair, tilting his head a little to the right, changing the angle of the kiss, and I part my lips to allow him to slide his tongue against mine. He sighs, which turns into a groan deep in his throat, and my heart bangs against my ribs. He really wants me. I’m not misreading the signs. He wants to go to bed with me. I feel dizzy and euphoric, the way an athlete must do when she stands on the podium after winning a gold at the Olympics.
But with the joy and excitement also comes fear. I don’t want to disappoint him. The need to be with him is so strong it’s making me tearful, but I don’t know what to do about it. How can I have been with a guy for nearly ten years and be so inexperienced? So unsure of myself? I’m afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and of him reacting the way Ian did —frowning, pulling back, and looking at me as if I’ve done something distasteful. Of insinuating that a nice girl wouldn’t do things like that. It happened so often that, in the end, I became passive and let him initiate sex and direct the action, and I know that’s why he commented that I was bad in bed. Talk about mixed signals. I don’t know what the guy actually wanted. Hopefully someone else will fulfill his needs better than I could. To my surprise, I discover that I’m not jealous at the thought of him being with someone else.
Fraser lifts his head, and I blink, panic swelling inside at the thought that my mind has been wandering, and he’s able to sense it, and he’s going to berate me for it.
But all he says is, “Can I take your hair down?”
“Oh… sure.”
He releases the claw clip, takes the spiral of hair, and unfurls it, bringing it down over my shoulder. It mirrors what he’s doing to me. Unfurling me. Unraveling me.
“It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. “So silky and shiny.” He lifts it to his nose and sniffs it. “And it smells of mint, all clean and fresh.” He throws these compliments around easily, as if they’re tennis balls he’s juggling effortlessly in the air. “You don’t believe me,” he says, releasing my hair and cupping my face again.
“You say such nice things… it flummoxes me.”
His lips twist. “That’s a great word. Flummox. I wonder where that comes from?”
“It was first used in a Dickens novel in 1837. Flummock means to make untidy or to confuse.”
He laughs, which he doesn’t do very often. He has beautiful teeth. “I j-just adore you,” he says.
My heart swells at his stutter. He’s not faking that. He really does like me.
He strokes his thumbs across my cheeks. “I worship the ground you walk on, Hallie Woodford. You’re beautiful and spirited, and I like that you’re sh-shy, but I want you to feel confident with me. I want to give you p-pleasure. I want to hear you cry out my name as you come.”
I blink, flushing, because I could never be vocal like that.
“Yes you can,” he says.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t need to.” He kisses my nose. “It’s okay to make it clear to your partner what you like. It’s nice and it helps the guy to know he’s on the right track. But I want you to understand that whatever you do is fine by me.”
His words fill me with light. I’m not going to be screaming the house down or directing the action any time soon, but it’s nice to know he’s not going to berate me for showing how I feel.
I nod, lifting a hand to cup his face. “You don’t know what this means to me, Fraser. You’re so patient.” I know it implies my ex wasn’t.
“I like foreplay,” he says. “I like kissing you and touching you. Why would I want to rush it?”
Foreplay. An alien word for me. I was lucky if Ian kissed me for a couple of minutes before he was fumbling at my skirt, preparing himself for the invasion.
I bite my bottom lip, and Fraser frowns, lifting my chin with a finger. “What is it?”
“I keep thinking about Ian. Not in a good way,” I add hastily. “Just thinking about how different you are. I don’t want to keep comparing. I want to forget about him. I don’t want him in my head anymore.”
“It’s natural,” he says, cupping my face. “Especially this first time with someone else. Try not to worry about it. I promise you that by the end of the night, you won’t be able to think of anyone else but me.”
His eyes gleam in the low light from the lamp beside the bed. He cultivates this appearance of being a bumbling professor, but for once the real Fraser shines through—determined and passionate once he fixes his gaze on something he wants.
He bends, and before I realize what he’s doing, he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist. I squeal, and he laughs. As I kiss him, he carries me over to the bed, climbs on, turns, and lies back on the pillows, so I’m on top.
Sliding a hand to the back of my head, he kisses me again for a while, and then eventually holds me and turns so I’m beneath him. By this point my skirt is wrapped around us both and my hair is caught under his elbow, and all our clothing is twisted and rucked up. The alcohol has kicked in, and I feel breathless and reckless and uncaring that I must look a mess.
I so want this. I want him to show me what I’ve been missing. And I want to show him how I feel, and have him respond with pleasure. I want it all.
His eyes turn sultry as he strokes a finger along my chin, down my throat. “I’ve dreamed about kissing here,” he murmurs. “And now I finally get a chance to do it.” He presses his lips to mine, then kisses down my jaw and neck until he reaches the hollow at the base, and touches his tongue to it.
I shiver, and he groans. “It drives me crazy when you do that,” he says, kissing around to my ear. He kisses behind it, then traces his tongue around it.
I close my eyes. This guy is turning me to caramel inside.
He spends some time kissing along my hairline, behind my ear again, touching his tongue to the sensitive skin, and sucking the lobe. By the time he returns to my mouth, I’m filled with longing, and conscious of an ache growing deep inside.
Half of me expects him to grab a condom and slide inside me, but clearly he has other ideas. He kisses me for a long, long time, and slowly I begin to relax as I grow used to his touch. His hands explore over the top of my clothes, stroking my shoulders and arms, and down my back, evoking all kinds of feelings in my stomach. He slides his hands down to my hips, then brushes along the outside of my thighs before returning them back up, so my skin is tingling all over.
He kisses my nose, my eyebrows, my cheeks, then back to my mouth, and whereas before his touch has been gentle and slow, this time he plunges his tongue inside, stepping up the heat. I gasp, but he doesn’t stop. All thoughts flee my mind as he continues to kiss me, invading all my senses, filling my nose with the scent of his cologne, my ears with his groans and murmurs, and my fingers with the feel of his muscles beneath his shirt and the smoothness of his jaw.
For the first time, he lifts the hem of my blouse and skates his fingers over my stomach, making it ripple in response. Mmm, that’s nice. He traces patterns over my skin until I get used to his touch, then slides his hand up to my breasts. I hold my breath as he strokes across the top of them, then I exhale with a shudder when he circles his thumb over the tips. He lifts his head and watches me, his eyes dark in the low light. I suck my bottom lip as he tugs the nipple gently.
“Time to get some clothes off,” he says, his voice husky. He rolls so I’m on top of him again and pushes me up. Shyly, I take my vest by the hem, peel it up my body, and drop it onto the floor. I’m wearing my most expensive bra and panties set from the Four Seasons that fits beautifully, its demi-cups satin trimmed with lace. My C-cup breasts are propped up on display, and Fraser groans before pulling me down for another kiss.
While he plunges his tongue into my mouth, he undoes the bra, slides the straps down my arms, and tosses it away. He fills his palms with my breasts, and I sigh at the feel of his warm hands on my skin.
He brushes his thumbs over my nipples, then teases them with his fingers. I bite my lip to stifle a moan, then I think about what he said, that it’s okay to let the guy know he’s on the right track. He wants me to be vocal. So when he does it again, I give a shy, appreciative murmur.
“Aaahhh…” His lips curve up against mine. “Good girl…”
It’s as if that one murmur flips a switch inside him, because he holds me and rolls so I’m under him, and his kisses turn more demanding and passionate, sending heat searing through us both. He lifts up, takes off his waistcoat, quickly unbuttons his shirt and throws it away, then lowers down and places hot kisses on my neck before kissing down to my breasts.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, then traces around a nipple with his tongue before covering it with his mouth and sucking gently.
This time I couldn’t have stopped the moan leaving my lips if I’d tried. I slide my hand into his hair and clench my fingers, and he swaps to the other breast, teasing the nipple and sending sparks shooting through me.
I want to tell him how it feels, and that I love his gentle touch. I want to get Ian’s darkly disapproving gaze out of my mind. The only way I’m going to be able to do that is by filling my head with Fraser so there’s no room for Ian anymore.
Luckily, he seems keen to help with that, as he shifts over me, then kisses down my body. Settling between my legs, he slides my skirt up my thighs, pushing it up to reveal my lacy underwear.
I cover my face with my hands, my heart pounding, as he presses his lips to the triangle of material. “Oh God…” I whisper.
“Want me to stop?” he asks.
“No…” I bite my bottom lip as I feel him brush his thumb down. His lips follow, his touch tantalizing through the thin fabric, and I groan as he kisses down, then up again. “Fraser…”
He slides a finger beneath the elastic and strokes over my mound. “Tell me how it feels.”
“Ahhh… sensitive… so good…”
He explores with his thumb, which slides easily through my moist flesh. “You’re ready for me, Hallie. Want me to take you all the way?”
I’m not quite sure what he means. Is he saying he wants to give me an orgasm with his fingers? With… his mouth? Oh holy shit. I can’t speak, so I just nod, but he must have seen it, because he pulls my underwear aside and plants kisses from my mound between my legs. All the way down. And then brushes his tongue all the way back up.
I jump, startled at the sensation, and say, “Oh God, oh God, oh God…”
“Ah, baby, is that nice?”
“It feels amazing,” I whisper, and give a long, heartfelt moan as he teases my clit with the tip of his tongue. “Oh Fraser…”
“Just relax, sweetheart.”
“I… can’t… it’s so…”
He chuckles, but doesn’t stop, swirling his tongue over my clit, sliding it through my folds, licking and sucking and driving me insane. How can I have got to twenty-seven and not experienced this before? Ohhh… it feels amazing, so incredibly sensitive and exquisite… oh no… tension is building inside me… I don’t… I can’t… already?… I’m so embarrassed—talk about an amateur… I can’t even last five minutes…
“Fraser… I’m sorry…”
In answer, he slides two fingers inside me, then sucks my clit, and I come immediately. The orgasm slams into me, powerful and sudden, and I clamp around his fingers, clutching his hair and crying out loud… it might have been his name but I’m far past being in control of my words and actions… oohhh it’s the strongest climax I’ve ever had, and the fastest… oh my God…
It finally ends, and I relax back into the pillows, my breaths coming in gasps. He withdraws his fingers, then moves up the bed so he’s looking down at me.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, my face flaming as he studies me.
He laughs. “Why?”
“I couldn’t even last five minutes.”
“I’m not surprised, if you’ve never had oral sex before. I’m sad about that. But I’m also glad I get to be the first guy to go down on you.” He gives a smug smile, then lowers on top of me and kisses me.
I think about where his mouth has just been and mumble my disapproval, but he just chuckles, still kissing me. Wonder fills me at the thought that he doesn’t care.
He lifts his head and gives a short laugh. “You look so surprised.”
“Do you find anything dirty?”
“All the best things are dirty.” He kisses around to my ear and nips the lobe.
I gasp. “Fraser!”
“What? I only have two nights to show you the wonders of proper lovemaking, I’m not going to hold back.” He lifts up and unbuckles his belt, flicking his eyebrows up wickedly as he slides it out of the loops.
I watch him take a condom out of his wallet and toss it onto the bed. My mouth goes dry. He slides off his trousers and boxers, and my pulse continues to pound at the sight of him ready for me, long and hard. Ooh. I let him slide my skirt down over my hips and remove it, and then my underwear goes the same way. I’m now naked, and he leans over me, his hands either side of my shoulders, and looks down at me for a moment, his gaze raking down my body, making me tingle all over.
Lifting up, he removes the wrapper from the condom, then rolls it on.
He leans over me again and studies me, his eyes sultry. Moving back, he holds both of his hands out, palms up. I slide my hands into his, wondering if he’s going to pull me up.
He doesn’t. He kisses my fingers. And then he lifts my hands above my head and pins them to the pillow.
“Now you’re completely at my mercy,” he says silkily. “I’m going to make love to you now, and I’m going to make you come again…” He bends and kisses me. “…and again…” Another kiss, this time dipping his tongue inside my mouth before he continues, “…and again… all night, until you beg me to stop.”
My eyes widen. My body feels like a church bell that’s been rung for the last time but is still resonating. I’d assumed that now he’d thrust himself to a climax and that would be it. And I’d have been content with that.
He nudges my legs open and moves between them. Then, holding both my hands in one of his, he lifts my leg and brings it around his waist, and I raise the other one to match it. He lowers a hand between us and directs the tip of his erection down until it presses against my entrance. Then he returns his hand to hold mine.
“Try to relax,” he murmurs.
I want to, but it’s impossible, because this is all so new, so different from the fast, impassionate sex I’m used to, where I felt like a blow-up doll just lying there for my ex to use.
I bite my lip, trying not to think about Ian, about before, and I gaze up at Fraser longingly, my heart thudding as he presses his hips forward.
Ahhh… oohhh… I stretch to accommodate him, and an exclamation leaves my lips as he slides halfway into me.
He stops and waits, and my chest heaves as I take deep breaths, trying to relax. I don’t want him to think I’m resisting or not enjoying it.
He lowers his head and looks me in the eyes. “Hallie.”
I blink.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs.
The compliment takes me by surprise.
“Beautiful, beautiful girl,” he whispers, moving his hips, and penetrating a little more with each thrust. “I can’t believe I’m finally inside you.” He kisses me as he slowly enters me. “Ahhh… you feel so good…” He groans as he finally makes it all the way in, and his body is flush with mine.
I moisten my lips with the tip of my tongue. “That feels amazing,” I say softly.
He smiles, releasing my hands and resting on his elbows. “Tell me more about how it feels,” he says, pressing light kisses on my lips as he begins to move rhythmically.
“I can feel you all the way inside. Right to the top.”
“Does it feel good?”
I nod, opening my mouth to his tongue, growing more confident as he encourages me. “So good… I’ve dreamed about this…”
“Have you now?” He nibbles my bottom lip. “And in this fantasy, what was I doing?”
“Kissing me. Mmm. Moving inside me, just like this…”
He plunges his tongue into my mouth for a moment, making me sigh. “Did you dream about anything else?” he asks when he finally comes up for air.
“Me on top,” I admit.
His eyes flare, and then, without warning, he grabs me and rolls so he’s beneath me, making me laugh. He pushes me up, and I sit astride him. Moonlight slants across us making us look as if we’re coated in silver. I straighten, clenching so I can feel him all the way up. I like being on top, but I’ve never had much of a chance to do it.
“You look stunning,” he says, lifting his arms above his head so he’s stretched out beneath me. “Like a Greek statue. You do it. Go on. Fuck me senseless, Hallie.”
Desire spikes through me at the thought of being the one to take control. Tentatively, I start to move my hips, driving him in and out of me. He closes his eyes, moving with me, murmuring his approval.
Mmm, yeah, this is good, I like being able to direct the action. I move up and down for a bit, then discover I can also rock my hips, which is a different motion that lets me grind against him, which stimulates my clit at the same time. Ooh, that feels good.
“Ah, yeah,” he says, “go for it, baby.”
Encouraged, I take his hands in mine, pinning him down the way he did me, and laugh as he lifts his head and takes advantage of the position by closing his mouth over a nipple. Ahhh, that feels so good… I rock harder, faster, surprised when I feel the glimmer of another orgasm in the wings.
“Oh,” I whisper, opening my eyes to look at him. I should wait… concentrate on him…
“Take your pleasure from me, Hallie,” he instructs. “You can do whatever you want to me, with me, tonight.”
He wants me to come again. My heart soars, and I close my eyes and focus on the tension inside me, riding him hard. Oh God, that feels amazing… I screw up my eyes and nose as everything tightens, then let the orgasm wash over me, clenching around him in several hard pulses before it finally releases me, and I collapse on top of him, gasping.
There’s no time to rest, though, because he lifts up and twists so I’m under him, then to my surprise, withdraws. But it’s only so he can roll me onto my front, and in seconds he’s pushed up my knee, directed his erection beneath me, and then he’s sliding inside me again.
And so continues the most erotic experience of my life. The man has amazing stamina, and apparently possesses a desire to take me in every position known to man. I find myself on my front, my back, my side, across the bed, and on all fours. By the time I’m finally on my back again, I’m panting, sweating, and exhausted, just as he promised.
“I can’t hold on much longer,” he says, sinking into me. “I’m sorry.”
That just makes me laugh. “Oh my God, Fraser.”
“I want to go on all night.” He groans, thrusting slowly. “But you’re so swollen and wet.”
“Jesus.”
“Argh, it’s agony… you’re torturing me…”
I feel a flush of pleasure at the thought that he’s enjoying this as much as I am. “Come for me,” I say, wrapping my arms around him.
“You first.” He moves up an inch, pressing his hips down, and to my alarm I realize he’s grinding right on the most sensitive place on my entire body.
“Oh, not again.”
“I love it,” he says, “I love watching you and knowing it was all down to me.”
“Ahhh… I can’t… I’ll explode…”
“One more. You can do it.”
I bite my bottom lip. By this point, I’ve lost all my self-consciousness, all my restraint. I drop my thighs wide and let him take me right to the edge, and then I cry out his name as ecstasy takes me again, fast and hard, just as strong as the first time, oh my God I’m going to die from all this pleasure, and I’m so hot… I’m going to self-combust… aaahhh…
He thrusts hard, and then he shudders and stills, and I pry my eyes open to watch him finally come with me. Mmm, he’s magnificent, his muscles hardening as he stiffens, his brow furrowing, his lips parting with a groan, and I stare up at him with wonder and adoration at the thought that I’ve given him pleasure, too.
Oh holy heck, how on earth am I going to say goodbye to this when we go back to Wellington? How can things possibly return to normal when I know how amazing he makes me feel?