Chapter 18
Nina
With Simi fast asleep in the big bed that looks as soft as a cloud, I open the trash bags and begin to unpack our belongings.
I go through all of Simi’s clothes, hating that she has so little. I’ve never had money to buy her anything.
Not like Boris would allow me to leave the house.
Even something as simple as choosing clothes for my daughter has never truly been mine.
The past nine years of being a prisoner in my father’s house have worn away the girl I was before my mother died. I’ve become a woman who only knows how to survive.
Still, a fragile hope sprouts through the darkness.
What if Georgi meant it when he said he wouldn’t separate us? What if, as his captives, Simi and I might be allowed more than just the basics to survive?
I glance at my daughter as I play with the dangerous hope that I might be allowed to raise her.
Letting out a sigh, I continue to unpack our clothes. When I pull the dark burgundy cocktail dress out of the bag, my body stills. I stare at the silk that’s helped me lure many men to their deaths, then an idea pops into my head.
This was always Boris’ weapon. What if I use it for myself…just this once?
If I can seduce Georgi, I might become to him what Tanya was to Boris. She was allowed luxuries. She got to spend day in and day out with Simi. Tanya was allowed to do anything she wanted as long as she kept Boris happy.
My heartbeat speeds up as the plan takes root.
I will offer myself to Georgi, and in return, I will get to raise Simi and protect her. If I can satisfy him, then maybe he’ll continue to be kind to Simi.
Also, this will be a way for me to take control of what happens to my body. Instead of Georgi having to use force to rape me, maybe if I submit to him, he’ll show me mercy.
Remembering how angry he was in the chamber, how he fought against the shackles to try to get to me give me the courage to go through with my plan.
Not hesitating, I dig out the high heels and a pair of lace panties. I quickly change into the provocative outfit before getting my curling iron and makeup out.
From years of experience, it doesn’t take me long to get ready, and as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I smooth my hands over the dress before I force myself to leave the room.
Walking down the hallway, nerves spin wildly in my stomach.
Simi is so happy. This is a small price to pay, Nina.
Georgi is very attractive. He’s been nice to Simi. It should be so much easier to have sex with him than with Anton.
I keep repeating the sentences, trying to convince myself it won’t be as awful as when Anton raped me.
The silk molds too closely to my body, reminding me of every other time I’ve worn this dress.
The loose strands that I curled fall around my face, and my makeup is perfect, the way Boris liked it. The thought sickens me, but I cling to my resolve.
This is for Simi.
If giving Georgi what Anton has always violently taken from me buys my daughter’s safety, then I can survive it. For her, I will sacrifice everything.
I take the stairs down, and when the sunken living room comes into view, I swallow hard on the anxiety tightening its grip brutally on my chest.
Just like the first time I saw him, Georgi is sitting on a couch, his head bowed as he types on his phone.
“Hi,” I croak, my legs shaky while taking the last step.
When he looks up, tension explodes through the air like an invisible tsunami. At first, he doesn’t move. His intense eyes sweep over me, taking in the dress and heels he must remember.
Another couple of seconds pass, then something unsettling flashes over his face as he rises to his feet.
The sheer size of him steals the air from my lungs as he slowly walks closer. By the time he towers over me, all muscle and power, I feel absurdly small under the weight of his attention.
“Christ, Nina,” he says, his tone rough. “What are you doing?”
My lips part, but I struggle to speak. Instead, I take a few hesitant steps, closing the distance between us. My pulse drums loudly in my ears, and I can’t force myself to meet his eyes. With trembling fingers, I reach for the top button of his shirt.
“I thought…” My throat tightens, and I have to clear it before I can try again. “I thought maybe this would make things easier.”
His hand closes over my wrist before I can undo the second button. When my gaze flies up, and I see the hard lines on his face, my stomach drops with fear.
“What things?” he growls, the sound low and deadly.
While more fear fills my chest, shame burns so hot through me, sweat beads on the back of my neck.
“If you want me…” My voice is barely audible, and I have to force myself to speak louder.
“Use me however you want. Simi has never been this happy, and I’ll do whatever you want so you’ll continue to treat her with kindness.
I won’t fight you, and I won’t scream. All I ask is that you allow me to raise my daughter and for you not to hurt her. ”
The silence after my proposition is deafening.
Suddenly, his fingers wrap around both my wrists, and while I expect him to force me down to the floor so he can take what I’m offering him, he doesn’t.
“No.” Even though the word is nothing more than a whisper, it’s filled with so much raw emotion, I can’t help but meet his eyes. They’re dark and filled with rage.
The next instant, Georgi grabs hold of my hips, and I go airborne. Once I find myself draped over his shoulder, my lips part in a gasp as shock registers, and my hands slap against his back.
Oh God! What have I done.
No, I’m not ready!
I’ll never be ready to be raped.
He carries me up the stairs, each of his steps shuddering through my body, and a sob builds in my chest. The man is a giant, and even when I try to push up so I can try to fight, he carries me with ease.
At the top of the staircase, Georgi hauls me down, and as soon as my heels settle on the floor, he takes two steps away from me. Dragging a hand over his face as if he’s trying to calm himself down, his eyes burn on me with anger.
I made a terrible mistake! That look has always been followed by a beating that left me broken for days.
Georgi shakes his head, looking down before taking my eyes prisoner again. Right now, he looks unbelievably dangerous, and when he speaks, I jerk with fright from the low and deadly tone he’s using.
“Do you think I brought you here to use you?”
Before I can answer, he closes the distance in one large step, moving so quickly that I don’t have time to get away. A peep escapes my lips as I jerk, bracing for the blow, but then his huge hands frame my face, and as he leans down.
As our eyes collide, there’s no sign of the anger that was there a second ago.
With the five-inch heels I’m wearing it makes it easier for him to press his forehead to mine. Sounding as if he’s in extreme pain, he groans, “I watched that animal violate you while I was shackled. I couldn’t do anything.”
The words rip through me like a destructive tornado.
Anton raped me so many times, I’ve learned to disassociate when it happens. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing my body as mine, only as something to trade when survival demands it. Once you learn to step outside your own flesh, sacrifice no longer feels like loss but more like duty.
It was my duty to lure all those men.
It was my duty to tend to their wounds.
It was my duty to let Anton fuck me whenever he felt like it.
It was my duty to let Boris beat me.
It was my duty to let the guards verbally attack me and talk to me like I’m nothing but a whore.
Georgi brushes his thumbs over my cheeks, pulling me out of the darkness my mind slipped into.
“Do you really think after witnessing you being beaten and raped, I’d take you when you offer yourself as payment?”
I shake my head because I can’t bear the hurt in his eyes. “I only want to protect Simi,” I croak, while a tear escapes.
Georgi catches it with his thumb, and his expression softens. “I know.”
I lift my hands and grip his shirt, giving him a pleading look. “Please. Don’t hurt my daughter.”
“I won’t, Nina.” His eyes close for a moment before he looks at me again. “How can I make you believe that you’re safe here with me?”
A sob bursts over my lips. “I don’t know. Men demand things. They hurt… They take...” I almost choke on another sob, my voice cracking as I brokenly admit, “They hurt me.”
“Christ, moeto hubavo mishle,” he whispers tenderly.
Pulling me against his chest, he holds me tightly, his body folding protectively around mine. I’ve never been held like this, and it makes me freeze because I’m scared that if I move, he’ll stop.
For months, Simi’s been living in her make-believe land where her prince would come to rescue us.
Desperate for that to be true, I beg, “Please, Georgi…” I choke on another sob. “I don’t want Simi to suffer the way I have.”
“I’ll protect her with my life.” Pulling back, his gaze drops to the dress and heels before flicking to the bold lipstick I’m wearing.
His jaw clenches, and lifting his hand, he smears the lipstick from my lips with his thumb before wiping it off on his shirt.
“Never wear this again.” His command heals something in the darkest parts of my soul where all my broken pieces lie. “This is not you.” He steps back again and shakes his head. “You will never be beaten, used, or raped again. Go change.”
Georgi is rejecting me.
The realization fills me with such relief, I feel a little lightheaded, then it hits hard…I can really trust this man.
Trying to understand why he’s so different, I dare to ask, “Why are you being kind to me?”
A dark, almost savage expression tenses his features.
“Because you were kind to me, Nina. You disobeyed orders and gave me water, knowing how severe the punishments would have been if you were caught.” He shakes his head, his expression becoming even more tender.
“You kneeled on a cold, hard concrete floor for hours so that I could sleep.” Lifting his hand again, he brushes his fingers tenderly over the bruises on my cheek.
“We bonded in that hellhole. I know you felt it too.”
I’ve never had such a strong urge to keep someone alive before. Next to Simi being hurt, my biggest fear was Georgi dying.
My mind screams at me to keep quiet, but my heart gives in, and I whisper, “I felt it.”
Slowly, the corner of his mouth lifts, and this time he’s the one giving me a pleading look.
“I don’t want this act you put on to keep Simi safe.
I want the real you, the one I know is somewhere deep inside all that fucked up trauma you survived.
I want you to feel safe so you can heal.
One day, when you feel like yourself again, and you want me, we’ll talk again. ”
I stare into his eyes, searching for any sign that this is a trick, but I can’t find a single thing. All I see is honesty.
I wipe my palms down my sides, the cocktail dress feeling like years of blood and screams against my skin.
“Go change, then come back and have some tea with me. There’s a lot we have to talk about.”
Obeying, I turn around and head back up the stairs.