Chapter 10 Oliver #2
Leo looks me up and down, nodding. Noah is loving every minute of it as he watches Leo head over to the mini bar, pour a shot of clear tequila, and walk over toward me.
I don’t owe Niko a goddamned thing.
For all I know, he could be off fucking anybody he wants right now.
It’s not like he’s my actual boyfriend, and we haven’t even made it 100% official to anyone online or in person yet, anyway.
But there’s still some dark little demon inside me, protesting.
Shouting at the fucking sky.
“Ready?” Leo asks.
No.
Not really, but Noah will hate me if I don’t play the part.
And I’m so fucked in the head after earlier today that I don’t even want anyone else’s lips on mine.
So far, Niko’s been my first… for everything.
I doubt most people fuck somebody before they’ve ever had their first kiss, but I guess that’s just another tragically unique thing about my life. Oliver Ashford, doing everything out of order.
“Can you just kiss me on the cheek? Anywhere other than the lips?” I say softly as Leo comes up to my side and suddenly I feel like my skin’s on fire.
“Got to admit, I want more than that, but I’ll be a gentleman.”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment.
For fuck’s sake, where was any of this type of attention months ago? Even weeks ago?
I open my eyes and nod at him. “So you pour a shot into my mouth first?”
“Fuck yeah!” Noah calls over. “Shot time, baby!”
“How should we do this?” I ask, trying to tip my head back.
“Get on your knees,” Leo says. “It’ll be easier, right?”
My cheeks heat up as I get down onto one knee, then the other. I look up at Leo as he leans over me, giving me a nod.
I nod back and open my mouth. He tips the shot in slowly and I take the tequila. I’ve had enough of it tonight that the burn doesn’t even bother me anymore.
Down for more tequila.
Please, blot out my overthinking.
Right as I’m taking the tequila like it’s water, I glance over and see Niko heading in through the tall archway of the living room.
And it’s like my whole world is suddenly on fire.
No.
Don’t watch this.
Please, God, why did you have to show up right now?
Leo leans over and I expect a kiss on my cheek. I feel Niko’s gaze rip over my skin, doing that thing where he stares right into the depths of my goddamn soul. He doesn’t know this is some stupid drinking game.
Doesn’t know why I’m on my knees in front of another guy.
I don’t owe him anything yet I still feel like this is wrong?
Leo dips lower.
And I don’t get a kiss on the cheek.
I feel Leo press a kiss to my neck instead. Lingering there for a moment, exhaling, and I want to jump out of my own body as I look over at Niko.
Too intimate. His lips, right where Niko put his lips on me before—
I just want him gone. It doesn’t make sense, because he is a good-looking guy and he smells fine, but I just want him out of here.
I reach up and grab Leo by the chest, pushing him back.
I see a worried, guilty look in his eyes the moment he steps away. “Sorry. I thought you said anywhere but the mouth?”
“It’s fine. You’re fine,” I tell him. He looks embarrassed, and I feel awful. “It’s not you, I promise. I’m just…”
He shakes his head. “It’s okay. Not the first time I’ve struck out.”
It’s like a kick to the gut.
I know better than anyone how it feels to strike out. I just never thought I’d be the one on the other end of that.
As I stand up, I feel myself getting progressively drunker, and I know the newest shot probably hasn’t even hit my blood yet.
Bad.
Very bad.
I look over and see Niko heading out through the archway, down the hall toward the kitchen. It’s like some sort of alarm goes off in my mind.
“I fuckin’ love this game!” Noah exclaims, dedicated to the party and already trying to rope Roman into doing the next Jenga block.
“I’ll be back,” I tell him.
I take off down the hallway toward the back, and I find Niko in the kitchen, making himself a drink.
I nod at him. “Hey.”
He glances up from his cup then looks back down. “Hey.”
There’s nothing readable in his expression.
Just fucking blank, like he doesn’t give a fuck at all.
“Um. What’s up?”
“Well, I was going to come find you so we could take a couple of pictures together, make sure people saw us together at this party. But you were busy on your knees.”
“Niko,” I protest.
I watch him shake a little bit of tequila over a paper towel. I furrow my brow as he reaches over toward me, swiping at my neck with the wet towel.
“Stand still,” he says.
“The fuck are you doing?”
“Wiping that guy off your neck.”
“Give me a break,” I tell him, shoving him away. The cool sensation of the alcohol on my neck feels refreshing, though.
Even if Niko’s acting like a tyrant right now.
“Come with me.”
I follow him back into the main room and he finds a spot on one of the long couches. I sit next to him, and across the room, I see that Leo clearly already found someone else to flirt with.
Leo’s already leaning against a wall, close to some other guy’s face, reaching up to tuck a lock of his hair behind his ear.
From my peripheral vision I see Niko drinking.
Not just drinking.
Downing his drink like it’s goddamn medicine.
“Damn. Chill out on that cocktail,” I mutter.
“You’re clearly steeped in tequila right now. You have no ground to stand on.”
“Can’t argue with that. So, should we take a picture here on the couch?”
Right as I’m finishing my sentence, Niko moves in closer to me.
I feel like I have the breath knocked out of me as he leans over, giving my neck a quick bite.
“Fucking vampire,” I protest.
It’s a complete contrast to the sweet kiss Leo tried to plant on me earlier.
It’s rough. A little violent. Out of nowhere.
Yet my body responds more to that nipping bite than it did to anything that happened with Leo.
“Need to leave a mark,” he mutters. “Next time some prick tries to pull that on you, they’ll know you’re mine.”
Something flares deep in my chest.
Don’t pay attention to it. Clearly, he’s just in a mood.
“Is that what I am?” I ask him in a tone that comes out more teasing than accusatory.
He keeps his gaze on me, cold and unreadable, but he doesn’t respond.
Instead he leans in and kisses me a little lower, just above my collarbone, and my body isn’t as smart as my brain.
I know Niko doesn’t actually mean it when he says I’m his, but when it feels this good I can’t help but let myself slip into a momentary delusion. Something I know is bad for me, but I’m going to allow for as long as I can get it.
Like an addict.
Like a fucking desperate goddamn fool.
So I guess this is how it feels.
How it feels when you actually do belong to someone.