Chapter 12 Oliver
Oliver
Oliver, watching Niko’s newest video, earlier today
I’ve stopped leaving comments.
When I see him post, now, only one thought cycles in my mind:
He’s not yours.
Not.
Yours.
I have to remind myself of it every time I see him.
But when I watch him…
And God, fuck, when I’m with him…
Sometimes it all feels deathly real.
Heat rips through me as Niko’s lips touch mine, and I’ve never been so certain that there is something wrong with me.
Because nothing’s ever felt as good as every single time Niko has touched me.
Having his mouth against mine is like feeling my body come to life after hibernation, like he’s lighting me up from the inside.
Goddamnit, you knew exactly what I wanted.
My hands grasp at the front of his shirt, clutching him like I’m afraid he’ll stop. I take his tongue like a fiend, opening for him and tasting orange and liquor on him.
I shouldn’t want it.
Not this badly.
But Niko’s tongue feels so good that I can’t hold back a whimper from escaping my mouth. The sound disappears against him as he kisses me deeply, his tongue sliding along mine as his hand clutches the back of my head.
Falling deeper and deeper under your spell.
It shouldn’t feel this fucking good.
I needed to come badly enough before but now I practically want to beg for it.
When I finally pull back for air, it’s like I’ve been plunged into a trance.
His blue fucking eyes.
His fucked up hair.
The way he’s looking at me like he wants all of me, even though…
Even though I know damn well he’s only doing this for one reason.
I glance across the room and notice Weston holding up his phone. He’s filming Hunter, Rayne, and Roman as they do some sort of dance. I swallow hard, attempting to bring myself back down to Earth, finding any semblance of composure.
“That was smart of you,” I murmur at Niko.
”Smart of me to kiss you, Ollie?”
I can still feel it.
I nod toward Weston. “You saw him start to film a video, so you went in to kiss me in the background. You know Wes is going to post that online, and we’ll be there in the back, kissing like we didn’t even know he was filming. Smart.”
Niko’s silent for a moment.
He stares across the room, his eyes slightly narrowed, studying Wes.
“Right,” he finally says. “It’ll be perfect. So why the fuck did you stop kissing me?”
He leans over me and his lips are on mine before I have time to react, and somehow his second kiss takes me off guard even more than the first.
Niko pulls my lower lip between his teeth and gives it a gentle bite before going in again and biting harder.
“God, fuck,” I hiss at him as he pulls back for just an instant, tracing my lips with his thumb. “You can’t kiss me like that out here.”
He’s holding my face in his hands, his gaze dancing over me like he has zero plans of stopping.
“Give me one reason why not.”
“Because you’ll make me come in my pants right in the middle of this party.”
Admitting that was probably a very bad idea.
His eyes flare wide at the suggestion, a bright flash of hunger, like he very much enjoys the idea of making me lose control like that.
“I’m sure people are starting to notice us,” he says as he leans in close to my ear. I can feel his breath on my earlobe before he bites me there, too.
At that exact moment, I know for certain that there’s a depraved streak inside me that has probably always been there.
Because I don’t feel embarrassed at all.
I don’t feel like I’m behaving badly.
I only have one thought, above all the others, when Niko tells me that people are probably noticing us.
Let them fucking watch.
My cock throbs under my pants as I lean back a little on the couch, spreading my legs just slightly wider, opening up my body language for him entirely.
He runs his palm from my chest all the way up to my neck, cupping my throat for just a moment before sliding his hand around to the back of my head again.
When he presses his lips to mine again I swear it almost feels like we are actually fucking, right here in the room, surrounded by the party.
I’ve never felt a fire like this for anyone in my life, and every nerve ending in my body is suddenly hyper aware of every movement Niko’s body makes against my own.
“Don’t ever stop touching me,” I utter against the side of his cheek as he moves to kiss below my ear again, warm and wet.
Too much.
Too far.
Don’t need to say things like that, when this is all for show…
My thoughts dissipate into a hazy fog as soon as they appear, though. I’m lost in him.
More intoxicated than I’ve ever been.
The party seems like an incomprehensible mob around me, and I realize I no longer give a fuck what anyone in here thinks other than him, right now.
He pulls his arm out from around me.
I watch him close.
Waiting for his next move.
Ready to follow him in anything he does, like I’ve been submerged into a primal state of being and I exist purely to act on my desires.
His hand grips mine and he stands up, pulling me after him.
“Back upstairs.”
When he says it I’m like an animal waiting for a command.
Yes.
God, yes.
But as we walk through the crowd, and I even see Weston waggle his eyebrows at me and reach out to give me a fist bump, my desire is reaching a place I can’t control.
By the time we make it through the room and into the long hallway, something desperate is overtaking me.
Now.
Need him right fucking now.
“Come here,” I tell Niko, pulling his hand toward the half-open door at the side of the hallway.
I drag him into the coat closet, which is currently packed with everyone’s coats from the party.
It’s dark in the closet. It smells like cedar wood.
And we’re alone.
My back lands against the small sliver of open wood paneling on the wall and he crushes his lips to mine. I didn’t know it was possible for him to get even more feral than he was out in the party but somehow, it’s happening, as his fingertips dip under the hemline of my shirt and grasp my hips.
“God, how badly do you need to come, baby?” Niko mutters as he reaches down to grip my hard-on through my pants.
“I need you.”
Fuck.
Shove those words back in.
Just because he’s calling you “baby” doesn’t mean you can act so plainly fucking needy with him.
“You want it so fucking bad,” he says in a low, definitive tone that makes my skin burn with heat.
When he moves to kiss my neck I feel his soft hair brush up against my face and even that sensation is making my brain short circuit. I push my hands between our bodies and go for the top button and zipper on my pants, shoving them down.
I’m practically shaking.
I know I shouldn’t be doing this, especially not here where anyone could walk in at any moment, but I’m so beyond making sense right now that I don’t stand a chance of stopping.
I have my cock out and in my fist a moment later, mashed up between us as the front of his body leans on mine.
“Tired of you denying me,” I whisper.
“You sure? Because it seems like you kind of love it.”
I let out a strangled, quiet moan as his hand closes around the top half of my cock.
Both of our hands are on it, now.
Mine at the base, his above it, his fist gripping my cock head.
His other arm is pinned against the wall beside my neck, and in the dim light that comes in from the hallway, all I can see is the ghost of his silhouette.
Like you’re a fucking dream.
I pull in a breath and the smell of his skin is almost as good as his touch. He leans in to kiss me again as our hands move in the same rhythm on my cock, and the combined sensation is too good.
His wet tongue in my mouth.
His tight grip around my dick.
I’m surrounded by him, and more than ever before it’s clear that Niko has steeped into my whole fucking world. Showing up in every bit of my psyche like a perfumed fog, and all I can do is surrender to it.
His thumb brushes over the tip of my cock, sliding through the precum there and making me throb.
He sucks on my lower lip and pulls it back, releasing it then moving back in to give me a little peck.
“You ready for how things are going to be, now?” he asks as we keep a steady pace on my cock. “By tomorrow, we’re official. We have to play the part. You’re mine, and everyone will know it.”
I let out a broken exhale. “Just two fuckboys, finally in a relationship.”
He hums. “When people think of you, they’ll think of me. If someone tries to come at you and touch you like that at a party, they’ll be dealing with me. I take very good care of my possessions, Ollie.”
I lean forward and kiss him deeply again so that I don’t say the words that my mind is trying to force out of me.
I know what I should tell him is I’m not your possession.
But hearing him call me that while his fist is around my cock makes me have a different reaction entirely.
Like of course I’m yours.
How could it be anything different?
How could anybody else ever get me off like you do?
He slowly pulls back from the kiss and I feel him move, dropping lower onto the floor in front of me. His hand moves off of my cock and it’s replaced with his hot, wet mouth.
I groan loudly enough that if anyone’s walking down the hallway, they had to have heard me.
“Fuck,” I utter, trying to contain myself as I drop my hand away from my cock and Niko takes control.
I can’t stop my hips from bucking forward.
Fucking his mouth, pushing into his throat.
He’s taking care of me, because he knew exactly how badly I’ve needed to come, for hours now.
And I feel myself losing control, being pushed past the brink before I ever had a hope of slowing down.
“Need to come. Niko, fuck, I’m going to come—”
I dig my fingers into his hair and lean my head back against the cool wood paneling behind me, thrusting hard into the tightness of his mouth.
He hums as he takes me and the vibration of his voice sends me over the edge.
And there’s no question that I’m coming for him.
Only him.
His hands are steady on my thighs as he swallows around me, and my mind is somewhere very far away, floating above myself like this is all a surreal fantasy.
I realize I’m stroking his hair with my hand, over and over as I catch my breath, like I need some tether back to the real world and the softness of his fucking hair is too good to resist.
He slides off my cock and kisses both sides of it gently like he’s praising me for a job well done.
“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight,” he tells me as he stands up, and I watch the halo of his hair in the dim light.
“But…”
“Roman told me he’s staying with his cousins this weekend, and I saw Daniel passed out on one of the couches in the reading room earlier already. And even if they come back in, what are they going to do? You’re my boyfriend. They’ll understand.”
He squeezes my hip one more time before leaning in and giving me a tiny kiss on the cheek.
“See you upstairs,” he says, then walks off.
And I’m left with my heart beating so hard in my chest I can’t even think.
A minute passes.
Then two.
Then ten.
But I don’t go to his room.
And then twenty minutes pass, and I still don’t go, my mind swirling with endless avenues of thought.
You will fall for him.
You already are.
The attention is going to your head, to your heart.
You have to squash it, Ollie.
He doesn’t want you like you want him. He can’t.
I don’t go to his room, even though I desperately, desperately want to.
It’s almost painful as I go to my own room upstairs instead of his, and when I get in my own bed, my roommate is asleep with his own girlfriend across the room from me.
And there’s a rattling, empty feeling in my core.
That’s a real relationship.
Mine isn’t.
You already have far too much power over me, Niko Berlant, and if I got in that bed with you…
I can’t think about what it would do to me.
But to him, it would mean nothing.
I’m still in a haze, and I stay strong, trying to think about anything other than him.
I grab my phone to set my alarm and that’s when I see the messages I’ve missed.
And a chill goes down my spine.
I have messages from Niko’s ex.
And they read like messages from a madman.
CallumXvX: What are u doing with him?
CallumXvX: I’m not fucking finished with Niko.
CallumXvX: U know how easily I can find u? I have ur coordinates. He always hated u. Used to tell me how badly he wanted to hurt u.
CallumXvX: Saw u deleted that comment from before. Think I didn’t see it? It’s so easy to suffocate someone in their sleep. Think about that.
CallumXvX: Try taking him from me and see what happens.