Chapter 14 Oliver
Oliver
Oliver, scrolling through Niko’s profile, today
I check the app.
He hasn’t posted anything new.
On any of his profiles, including this one.
Where is he, right now?
And why do I feel like I’ve lost something that’s mine?
I look in the mirror for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.
I check my hair, then my tie. I smooth my fingers over the front of my jacket as if it’s doing anything to calm me down.
I’ve been pacing around my room glancing at my phone every minute. But I knew something was wrong when I realized that Niko was going to be late.
He’s supposed to be here.
The winter formal is starting, and Niko is well aware of that.
Yesterday he saw the messages with Callum, and today he’s been texting me all day about the formal, saying he’ll meet me in my room and we can head over to the party together.
But we’re supposed to leave in three minutes, and I haven’t heard from Niko in an hour.
He’s not in Onyx House.
I even got Sevan’s number from another Daggers guy and asked if Niko was with him, but Sevan said he hadn’t heard from Niko all day.
And a cold fear is starting to spread through my veins.
A feeling I’ve been trying to shove away with every passing minute, but now it’s overtaking me.
This is why I can’t trust him.
Can’t let him in.
Niko only cares about himself, which he made abundantly clear from the beginning.
Why would I think the winter formal would be any different?
It’s the reason I’ve kept my distance from him this week, like I’m locking myself into a cell so that I won’t hurt someone. But the only person I could hurt is me.
Keeping distant from him has been nearly impossible.
I want to delude myself into thinking I could enjoy him as my fake boyfriend and not get addicted to the feeling of touch, of having another body so close to mine. But I already know it feels too good to ignore, and I’ve used up every ounce of self control to not give in.
The fear inside me now is tipping me closer to a breaking point, though.
Where the fuck is he?
Dropping the ball, on the most important night.
Or…
Or something may have happened to him.
Something dangerous.
And that’s a panic far worse than any other.
I head down the stairs in Onyx House, my dress shoes making a little clicking sound on the steps. A few of the other guys are down in the entryway, putting on their jackets and scarves, ready to head across campus.
“Ollie,” Noah says, giving me a little salute. “Where’s your boy?”
“Ready to go,” a voice calls out from the side of the entryway.
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I exhale.
Finally he’s there.
And it’s like a balloon finally deflates inside me.
The relief is so palpable that it’s obvious I wasn’t just worried about the formal.
I was worried about him.
Seeing him there, already dressed in a suit, I feel every thought from the past hour dissipate in my mind.
He’s in a black suit with an ice-blue tie, the color of his eyes. His hair is in a perfect windblown swoop, tousled yet intentional.
And the way the tattoo on the back of his hand comes out from under his suit sleeve…
So hot.
So fucking hot, and I was worried for nothing.
…And he isn’t my boyfriend, so stop acting like he’s here for any reason other than an act.
“Where were you?” I ask him softly as we group behind the other guys, ready to walk over.
It seems like he was rushing to get here. His face is flushed, and he was in a hurry. But his eyes tell a different story. There’s a soft, serene look on his face.
“I went to meet with Callum,” he says.
“What the fuck?”
“Don’t worry about it. The situation is under control.”
My head is swimming as we walk outside and down the front steps behind the other guys. Niko laces his hand in mine and I remind myself again not to get used to how good it feels.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to see him.”
“Because I knew you’d worry about it. But I took care of it.”
Thoughts race through my mind. “What was it like?”
“Short. Simple. He tried to get me back and I denied him like I always do. He gave vague threats, like he always does.”
“You’re not telling me what you actually said—”
“I told him that if he ever tries to interact with you again, I will end his life.”
When I look over at Niko, I can see his breath faintly in the cold air.
I don’t know how serious he is about what he just said. He looks utterly gorgeous, and at the same time, I’m hit with the realization that I don’t know Niko all that well.
Niko’s always been rebellious.
Everyone knew that.
But I have no idea how far he’d truly be willing to go.
I could be holding hands with someone capable of killing.
Suddenly it feels like I have electricity in my bones, like the whole world just went into a hyper-real Technicolor around me.
I listen to every shake of the trees in the wind, every faint peal of laughter coming from the group of guys ahead of us.
I feel the warmth of Niko’s hand on mine.
So warm.
And being with him is the best thing I’ve felt in my life.
The mix of thoughts is potent and terrifying. I feel safer than I’ve felt all week as I walk hand-in-hand with Niko toward Student Hall, and I wonder if I’m being protected by a monster who I just happen to be on neutral terms with.
If I ever were to get on Niko’s bad side…
What would it be like?
How dangerous is it to be on his bad side?
“You look so fucking good in that suit,” he says, turning toward me and breaking me from my thoughts.
“Thank you.”
“I wouldn’t have expected you to go with a grey suit, but it’s perfect. We need to take lots of photos tonight.”
“Right. For sure.”
He exhales and I watch his breath again. He moves from holding my hand to stroking his fingertips over my palm, and the feeling is like a lure, pulling me in.
“You feel amazing. All the time. Are you aware of that, Oliver?”
He moves his fingers a little higher, feeling up under my sleeve a little. His words are bold, even for him. He really is in a different sort of mood tonight.
“It does feel good,’ I agree.
He squeezes my hand, then pauses for a moment, slowing me to a stop.
We’re in the middle of the campus quad now, and the other guys keep walking ahead of us.
Niko holds my gaze, his eyes half-lidded, even more like bedroom eyes than usual.
“God, I would fuck up my whole life for you,” he murmurs, then leans in to press a kiss to my mouth.
It’s not a chaste kiss.
He’s parting his lips from the first moment, opening for me and sliding his tongue into my mouth. He puts a hand inside my jacket and the warmth of his palm snakes around my waist before he tugs me in closer.
I can feel his cock push up against my leg, hard already.
“Niko,” I whisper against his lips, pulling away a little. “We have to get to the party.”
“I know. Fuck. I know this is important to you. Let’s keep going. Just kiss me a little more first.”
His kiss is even more demanding now. He leans into me, dipping me backward a little as his tongue slides along mine again.
It’s almost like he’s intoxicated. Like he’s drunk, but I taste no alcohol on his tongue.
Even when he kisses me like this, usually he’s measured with his movements, not hungry and wild like this.
He exhales against my mouth a moment later, bringing his tongue to my lower lip and giving it a little lick.
“We could fuck right here, baby,” he utters, gripping my waist harder.
I furrow my brow at him. “Did you drink something tonight? Or smoke some really strong weed, maybe?”
He hums, moving a hand up to brush away a lock of my hair.
“Didn’t have anything.”
He’s still looking at me like he wants to fucking breed me right here on the cold, exposed quad, though.
“You’re being pretty handsy.”
“I’m allowed to want my boyfriend,” he murmurs, and his lips are on my neck a moment later. “Mm. Callum did give me some of his leftover Halloween chocolates, but I don’t think sugar really affects me like that, Ollie.”
My spidey senses perk up inside me. “He gave you something?”
“They were mini Twix bars, babe. Relax. And kiss me a little more.”
“I’ll kiss you in the ballroom. We need to go.”
He can’t keep his hand off of me as I start walking down the path through the quad again. He keeps his palm under my jacket, at the small of my back.
As we catch up to the other guys, Niko pushes his fingertips under the back of my waistband, halfway to my ass.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Weston says as we approach. “You stop tongue-fucking long enough to grace us with your presence?”
Noah cackles ahead of him. “They’ll be dick deep in each other in one of the ballroom bathroom stalls by the end of the first song, guaranteed.”
“Lovebirds,” Niko muses, tilting his head back to look up at the sky as he walks. “Weird fuckin’ word, isn’t it?”
“Like two little flitting birds, in love,” Wes says. “That’s you guys.”
Niko lets out a long breath and it dissipates into the air like a cloud of smoke. “Maybe I’m wrong about everything. Maybe love can be real. Given very specific circumstances.”
The fuck?
There’s definitely something off about Niko tonight.
He’s almost acting like…
Like he did the night he got dosed with ecstasy.
And that realization sets off every alarm bell inside me.