20. CONNOR
TWENTY
CONNOR
“Want me to drop you back at the arena while I take this little guy home?” Parker asks as we get into his car and he places the rat on my lap.
Watching that Sam guy openly flirt with Parker made old Connor resurface. I wanted to put Sam in his place, but the thing is, flirting with Parker is his place. It’s his right. I have no claim over him.
My inner possessive caveman doesn’t understand that though. “I still have time. I want to see where Master Splinter will be living. I need to make sure it’s suitable.”
Parker side-eyes me. “One, that’s not his name, and two, are you trying to get an invitation to my place?”
I smile and hope it comes across as charming. “No, I’m inviting myself over. There’s a difference.”
“The difference being my ability to say no?”
“Now you’re getting it.”
“I could pull rank and take you back to the arena anyway, you know.”
That almost feels like rejection, but I pretend it doesn’t get to me. “You could. If that’s what you really want to do.”
“Fine. Call me on my bluff. ”
Oh, thank God. “Besides. It’s too risky making each other come if we’re at the arena. People might see. Or hear you.”
We almost run up the back of someone at a red light, and Parker has to slam on the brakes. His neck and the tips of his ears turn pink. “I’m not that loud.”
“I want to dispute that, but I’m thinking you need to concentrate on the road.” The traffic hasn’t started moving yet, so I throw in, “And you are loud. And sweary. It’s really hot. Experiencing it only once would be a shame.”
Parker shifts in his seat as the light goes green ahead. “You shouldn’t be talking like that.”
“Because we’ll crash?”
“No. My poor Conishkin shouldn’t be hearing such depraved things. He’s only a baby.”
I stare down at the rat in his cage, his red, beady eyes glaring at me, and even though I claimed co-parenting ownership with him back at the shelter, now without the threat of Sam hanging over my head, I don’t know what to think of the little guy. Other than, “You cannot name him Conishkin.”
“Why not? I’m naming him after his other daddy. Apparently. It’s your first and last name squished together.”
“Yeah, I got that, but no. Uh, I mean, I’m honored. But no, thank you.”
“Would you be saying that if I’d gotten a puppy?”
I lift the cage to bring me face-to-face with the rat. He lifts his nose and gives me a good sniff, his cheeks and whiskers twitching. And fine, I might admit he’s kinda cute. “When you get a puppy, I give you full permission to name it after me. This baby deserves a name that does him justice.”
“What do you suggest?”
“Satan? Demon? Hell’s butthole?”
“Conishkin is sounding better and better.” Parker pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building in Cherry Creek.
“You live in an apartment?” I ask .
“The penthouse. Technically.”
“Makes more sense. I guess I pictured you living in a huge mansion with servers and butlers and?—”
“All that empty space freaks me out.”
If that isn’t a twist in my gut. “I understand that. I didn’t realize how big my house was until I moved in. I thought if I filled it with furniture, it would feel less …”
“Lonely?”
I was trying not to say lonely, but that’s what it is.
Parker pulls into his double space, parking his Lexus LS right in the middle of both sides.
As much as it kills me to look at him and admit that he’s exactly right, as soon as our eyes meet, I see the same emotion reflected back at me. He has it so much worse than me though.
He lost his dad, he has no siblings. All I’m dealing with is a very supportive family and best friend asking for space and to focus on myself instead of them.
“Where’s your mom?” I blurt.
“After Dad died, she didn’t want to live in their house anymore, and he worked so hard for so many years to support us, they never had a chance to travel, so she’s taken my aunt on a round-the-world vacation. As much as I miss her, she deserves this time for her.”
“You didn’t want to travel with her?”
He blows out a loud breath. “This is a heavy topic to be talking about in a parking garage.”
Parker gets out of the car, and I follow because he’s not getting away that easily. That, and I have our demon rat baby. Who is most definitely not called Conishkin.
When we get into the elevator, Parker holds out his hands to take the cage off me.
“So, why didn’t you go traveling with your mom?”
He slumps but covers it quickly by putting on an over-the-top smile and voice while looking at the rat. “There’s my little Conishkin. ”
“Not his name,” I sing.
“Who’s my wittle Con-con Kiki?”
I sigh.
“You brought this upon yourself,” Parker says. “You’re the one who insisted on co-parenting something that you have absolutely no interest in. All because, why? Sam got a tiny bit too flirty with me, perhaps?”
Part of me is surprised Parker is calling me out like that, but the other part of me knows why he’s doing it.
“Nice deflection.”
The elevator spits us out on the top level, and Parker holds the cage in one arm while unlocking his front door with the other.
As soon as we’re inside, I plan to keep at him about the mom thing, but the second I cross that threshold and see his amazing apartment, I lose all my words.
The hardwood floors, slate fireplace, modern furniture, and expansive balcony make me a jealous, jealous man.
He has a dark blue U-shaped couch, which is the only pop of color in an otherwise gray and wood aesthetic. I’m only in the entryway, and it already feels like more of a home than my giant mansion that I regret buying more and more every day.
“Can we swap houses?” I ask.
“After you told me how empty yours feels? No, thank you.”
“Damn. Worth a try.”
“Let’s find you a place to live,” Parker says to Conish—nope. Not his name. The rat. “Do you not love our baby at all?”
“Of course I love him.” And I can say that without squirming now. Yay. Maybe in a year, I’ll be game enough to hold him too.
“What I can’t understand,” Parker says as he puts the cage on a side table next to his couch, “is if you don’t even like rats, why are you insisting that he’s ours and not mine?” He cocks his eyebrow at me .
“Why are you here, watching over the team, when you could be across the world having fun with your mom?”
He huffs. “Would you want to go on an around-the-world trip with your mom for months on end?”
Well, when he puts it that way … no. “Maybe not for the whole time, but for part of it, yes. Have you even been overseas? You have all this money, and as much as I love this apartment, it’s an apartment, and you could do anything in the world. I understand buying the team to honor your dad, but do you actually want to be a part of it?”
“Okay, it’s time for Conishkin to have some outside time.” He unlatches the cage and puts his hand out for the rat to climb on. He does immediately and runs up Parker’s arm and sits on his shoulder.
I step closer to him. “Park?—”
“I’m around the team so much because it reminds me of my father, and it might sound silly to someone like you, but when I’m watching the team practice or play, I feel closer to him. Every time the Zamboni comes out to resurface the ice, I expect to see my dad sitting in it, for him to give me a wave. It’s hard when I realize that will never happen again, but being in the hockey world … it brings him back to me. So, no, I didn’t go on Mom’s vacation because where she finds the memories heartbreaking, they bring me comfort.”
Now, don’t I feel like a complete ass?
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I step forward to hug him. “That makes total sense, and I didn’t think about it that way.”
As soon as our bodies collide and I lower my head to bury into his neck, rat me holds up his little … paw? hand? Whatever it’s called, as if to push me away.
“Okay, maybe his name really is Conishkin. He’s already showing possessive tendencies over his daddy.” I meet Parker’s gaze. “Because you’re right. With that Sam guy, I …” I grit my teeth. “I thought he was hitting on you, and I couldn’t help myself. I might not know a lot about who I am deep down, but I do know that once I see something as mine, it’s as if this possessive demon comes out. I don’t think I like it, if I’m honest. It’s toxic, and?—”
This time, Parker closes the distance, and little Conishkin lets us embrace. Parker’s arms wrap around my back, and he glances up at me with his big blue eyes. “It can be toxic.”
I go to say I want to change that part of me, but it’s not going to be easy, when he cuts me off.
“But it can also be really hot under the right circumstances.”
I frown. “Right circumstances?”
“Like when you’re trying to claim your territory when another man tries to hit on it … wait, that’s mixing analogies.”
I chuckle. “You think you’re my territory, huh?”
“You said it, not me.”
I play back exactly what I’ve said to give him that impression, and— “Oh fuck.”
“Mmhmm. You said, and I quote, ‘Once I see something as mine.’”
“I didn’t mean it that way,” I say quickly.
Parker’s grip around my waist loosens but doesn’t drop. “No?”
What am I supposed to say here? Yes, I do have that voice in the back of my head saying he’s mine, and I want to spend every moment together, and I want to see where this can go, but it’s a bit soon to be getting all claimy.
Right?
But the more I stare into those blue eyes, the more I realize … it’s got nothing to do with timing. It’s how I feel.
“Okay, fine. Yes, I did. But?—”
He cuts me off with his lips on mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth, and with the silent promise that nothing is going to stop this.
Until the very possessive and squeaky rat decides he hates seeing his daddies kiss and bites me on the shoulder .
I pull back. “Ouch. Motherfucker.”
“What? What happened?” Parker asks, his eyes hooded in lust. It’s a good look on him, and when my body responds to him now, it’s not as weird or confusing as the last time.
“I’m not the only one with possessive issues.” I rub my shoulder. “He might be small, but damn, his bite is hard.”
“He didn’t …” Parker says, sounding exactly like one of those parents who can’t believe when their child does something naughty.
“Oh, he did.” I take my shirt off and show off the mark. And yes, I am tattling on a rat. It’s not bleeding, but there’re two little teeth marks in my skin.
“Sam said he was affectionate.” Parker takes Conishkin off his shoulder and places him in his hands. The emotionally manipulative jerkwad looks up at Parker with such innocence even I’d believe he didn’t do it if I didn’t have a throbbing shoulder.
“He is. To you. It’s like he’s chosen you. One look and bam, he fell, hook, line, and sinker.”
“Sam did say rats are intelligent. He could see immediately what others take years to see.” Parker flicks me a quick look through his lashes. “Even almost a decade.”
He’s right. My head was so high in the clouds in high school that being top dog and captain of the hockey team was all I cared about. It made me selfish, and now, I’m paying the price.
Because all this time, I could’ve had Parker in my life. If I hadn’t cared about image and making it to the NHL, we could’ve had this back then, maybe.
I have a lot of regrets, but not getting to know Parker Duchene sooner might be my biggest.
I force a smile. “Okay, I’ll give him that one. He’s a much better judge of character than I am.”
“Damn straight, he is. But it’s time for him to have a nap.” He puts Conishkin back in his cage and turns to me with fire in his eyes. “Should I give you a tour of the apartment?”
“Only if it ends in your bedroom.”
“Done.” He takes me by the hand, and any tour is canceled because he drags me down the hall, right into the master suite.