24. CONNOR
TWENTY-FOUR
CONNOR
Parker seems … overwhelmed? I think. I dunno. I’m too hungover to get a read on the guy. Not that I could read him the best before though either.
He’s watching the four of us with a kind of bewildered expression, like he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to take us. That’s probably fair. Us Kikishkins might be a hockey family, but we’re far from a normal one. All three of us Kikis plus Knox grew up together. Practically in the same house because Knox’s mom was always working, so he’d be at ours a lot. And yet, all four of us are so different.
East and Lachie know who they are. They’ve always known and always had that freedom. It’s probably why they’re so confident in themselves.
I used to think I was confident in who I was, that I was a good person. Parker and Easton, and even in a way Knox, showed me how I haven’t been confident at all. I’ve been masking my whole life.
I approach Parker and rest my chin on his shoulder. “You okay?” I try to keep my voice low because I don’t want the others listening in.
Only, out of the corner of my eye, I see both Knox and Easton are pretending they’re not listening. They need to be more subtle than leaning closer toward us.
Lachie has no idea what’s happening. He’s chasing Conishkin around the apartment because he let him go, and now he’s trying to coax the thing out of its hiding spot by pleading with it.
“If I lose you, your daddy’s going to break up with Daddy Connor, and I don’t want that to be my fault. Daddy Connor will fuck up on his own eventually, I promise. Then you and Daddy Parker can change that horrible name of yours and live happily ever after.”
I lift my chin. “I can hear you, you know.”
“I know,” he calls out.
Third children are the worst. They have to be. It’s science. To stop the world from overpopulating, the third child always has to be the catalyst to make parents stop reproducing.
“This is … weird,” Parker says.
“Say no more.” I turn to Easton and Knox. “Okay, time to go home now. Bye-bye.”
“No, I didn’t mean—” Parker’s eyes widen. “You don’t need to kick them out. I’m—” He’s looking around frantically, worried about whatever imaginary backlash is coming, and I feel incredibly guilty and sorry for him that he has that reaction in the first place.
“It’s all good,” Easton says and stands from where he’s still sitting at the kitchen counter. He finishes the rest of his coffee. “We can be a lot.”
“It’s not that,” Parker says.
“Then what is it?” I ask softly.
“I’m not … used to this. Having people in my space. I don’t have …” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t have brothers. I don’t have … friends. Wow, that hurts to say out loud. So this is weird for me, but good. I promise. You don’t have to leave.”
I lean in and speak low in his ear. “Not even for what I had planned for my day off? Let’s just say it involves a lot of naked time. All good if you’re into exhibitionism though.”
A smile spreads across Parker’s face. “On second thought?—”
“Yup,” Easton cuts in. “We’re voluntarily out. I don’t need to see that. Or think about it. Or—” He shudders and grabs Knox’s hand. “We’re out. Lachie, you coming with us or staying to be traumatized?”
Lachie’s head pops up from under Parker’s dining table. “What? We’re leaving? But I just got him back.” He holds the rat into the air.
“Up to you. Parker’s going to introduce big bro to the world of gay orgasms, and I ain’t gonna be here for that.”
Parker’s cheeks are aflame, and if I weren’t so worried he’d take this kind of ribbing badly, I’d be all for it.
“You do know you’re talking about your team owner like that, don’t you? In front of him, no less.”
Easton’s gray eyes meet mine. “And just when I thought old media-image Connor was gone.” He turns to Parker. “I’m sorry if my comments about your potential sex life were offensive. Here at Kikishkin Incorporated, we don’t have personalities or make jokes, so we were as shocked as you that those words came out of my mouth.”
Lachie’s snickering to himself as he puts away Conishkin. I’m rolling my eyes.
“Go take your snark somewhere else,” I say, making sure to sound every bit as bored as I am. If they even get a whiff of their comments getting to me, it’ll make it so much worse. What else are brothers for?
Easton leaves without a word, Knox gives a casual wave, but Lachie has to part with one last jab.
“Have fun boning!”
The door closes behind them, and I slump. “I hate my brothers.”
“No, you don’t. ”
I’m bitter that he’s right. “Fine. I love them, but I also hate them.”
“That’s closer.”
“Okay, okay. I hate that I love them,” I relent.
“There’s the truth.”
I wrap my arms around him from behind. “Are you really okay? I didn’t mean for last night to happen.”
“The getting drunk part or texting me to pick you up with your brothers part?”
“All of it. Well, no, the getting drunk part was part of East and Lachie’s plan, and I didn’t fight them on it, but they took me out to a gay bar, which I’m totally fine with. Or I thought I would be. But the whole time I was there, my brothers were asking me which of the guys they were pointing out were my type, so I welcomed the alcohol.”
“Because you realized you were attracted to them all? It’s a big switch to come to terms with.” His words are supportive, but the way he ducks his head shows he’s uncomfortable with me meeting other men or finding them attractive.
I shake my head. “None of them were you, so I wasn’t interested.”
Parker turns in my arms, and his gaze flicks up to mine. “What? Isn’t that, like, putting all your eggs in one basket?”
“I thought the point of being with other men is there are no eggs?” I make the drum bud-dump-ch noise. He doesn’t find it funny.
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on me.”
Shit. This is not going how I wanted it to. “Wait.” I put my hands on his shoulders. “I’m not saying you’re the only man I’ll ever be attracted to or that you made me this way or any of that. All I’m saying is you make me feel things that I haven’t felt with anyone before, and I want to keep doing what we’re doing with no pressure on either of us.”
His shoulders slowly lose tension, and then Parker presses his body against mine .
It sets my body on fire. My skin is sensitive everywhere his fingertips touch. My cock is trying to break free of my briefs.
I lean in to kiss him, but he screws up his nose.
“Seriously. Alcohol plus coffee breath is really difficult to find sexy.”
“Okay, let me borrow your toothbrush, then.”
This only seems to horrify him more.
“You’ve had your tongue in my mouth. What difference is a toothbrush?”
“Toothbrushes are used to dig out old bits of food and gross bacteria living in between your teeth. I’ve never once tried to do that to you with my tongue.”
I throw up my hands in defeat. “Want me to go home, brush my teeth, and then come back? Do you have any mouthwash?” I pull him close again and try not to breathe all over him. “I want you. I’ll do anything to have you.”
Parker stares up at me, more confident than I’ve probably ever seen him. “I know a way we can both get what we want, and it involves no kissing at all.”
He backs us up, and I don’t fight him on it. When my back is against his kitchen counter, he runs his hand down my chest, and I tighten my abs so he can feel every ridge, every muscle as he keeps going lower and lower.
I’m about to ask him if he’s going to give me a handjob while staring into my eyes with nothing but lust in his gaze and expecting me not to kiss him, but then he drops to his knees. My breath catches, which only makes Parker more confident.
I’m dying to have his mouth on me, but there’s one thing niggling at the back of my mind. Okay, two things.
I grab his wrist and haul him back to his feet.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I want to make sure you’re okay with this first. I realize we didn’t really talk about it last time, and you’ve already done this for me without me reciprocating. I want to make sure you’re not going to get some type of PTSD flashback of high school where you thought I was the enemy and being in that vulnerable position?—”
That confident tilt of his lips is back. “You think giving blowjobs is the vulnerable position?”
“It’s not?”
He pats my cheek. “Oh, my sweet summer child.”
“I’m trying not to feel like you’re being condescending here.”
Parker takes my hand and pulls me over to his living room, pushing me down on his couch while he continues to stand above me. “I’m trying not to be condescending, and we can have this conversation if you need it, but is that all you’re worried about? That I’ll feel demeaned if I get on my knees for you?”
I glance down at my hands. “That, and maybe, you know, if you want me to?—”
“Weren’t you the one who said you want no pressure on either of us? It goes both ways. Besides, I love sucking cock, so you’re really doing us both a disservice here.”
“I wanted to make sure after …” I hesitate. “Everything.”
“I actually appreciate that more than you know, and it only makes me more eager for this.” Parker drops to his knees again, and the sight alone has precum leaking into my boxer briefs. My hips reflexively shift, placing my ass closer to the edge of the cushion. Parker leans in and mouths the damp material, humming against my cock.
I don’t know why it’s different with him, but it is.
I want him to be mine to cherish, to dote on, to own, but at the same time, I’m too worried about letting that out. About being too much. Too fast. So I hold back that instinct to unleash on him.
But damn, it takes nearly all of my focus to do that.
Parker takes his time, kissing his way up my thigh and dipping his fingers into my waistband of my briefs without actually pulling them down .
My hips buck, and I lift my ass up so many times without getting anywhere it’s almost as if he knows I’m holding back and is trying to get me to snap.
“Parker …” I whine.
“Mm?” He glances up at me, long lashes looking even longer at this angle.
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper.
“Showing you that I might be the one on my knees, but I’m in no way the vulnerable one here.”
“I see that now.” I really see that now.
Parker has me right where he wants me. Desperate. Trembling.
“Move so your ass hangs off the couch,” he orders, and I do it, no questions asked.
He pulls off my underwear, licks his lips, but where I’m anticipating his mouth wrapping around my cock, he goes lower, sucking my balls into that wet heat.
I groan as he pulls off, licks his palm and covers it in saliva, and then goes back to mouthing my sac while stroking my cock.
It’s almost over as soon as it starts, but I hold in there. I don’t know how I fucking do, but I do.
His other hand runs up my thigh and then dips between my legs, massaging that sensitive area between my balls and my ass. He looks up at me, pulls his mouth away, his big pink lips swollen and covered in shiny spit. And then I feel it. His finger slips between my ass cheeks and presses against my hole.
I tense up immediately.
He pulls it back. “I’m not going to actually do anything. I promise. But if you trust me, I want to show you how sensitive that area can be. The only thing is, you have to be open to it. So you can say no?—”
“I don’t want to.”
“That’s okay.” He goes to move his hand away completely when I stop him .
“No. I meant, I don’t want to say no.”
He smiles. “Oh.”
“But I don’t know how comfortable I’ll be with it. I want to try though.”
“Just to be clear,” he says, “I won’t actually go … in anything, if that helps you relax.”
It does. A little.
I’m still coming to terms with liking a guy. Going near his dick, the thought of anything going inside my ass, it’s all a bit outside my comfort zone, but I know it’s only because I’ve never contemplated it before. Like anything new with hockey, if I get put with a different D-man, or our lines are played with and I’m used to having East and Munter on the ice together and then suddenly they’re not, I just have to get my head around it, and then I’m open to trying anything once.
I think.
“Don’t disappear on me,” Parker says.
I reach for him to cup his cheek because I love the way he leans into my hand. “I’m here. And I want this. I want …” I almost say us. More. More of this. More of him. More … everything.
I can’t ask Parker to do that for me though. Me. The guy who made his life hell in high school.
Parker keeps eye contact with me as his fingers trace over my balls and go behind them again. He doesn’t lose that eye contact as he swipes over the sensitive skin all the way to my hole and then back again.
Every time his finger goes near my hole, I try not to tense, but I do. Stupid body not listening to what my brain says.
“You’re not relaxing,” Parker says.
“I’m trying.”
“Okay, new tactic before I give up and will never bring it up again.”
“Yeah?” I let out a shuddery breath. It does feel good, what he’s doing. I don’t know why it’s instinct to shut it down whenever he gets close.
“Only focus on my mouth.”
I glance down at his lips right as he leans in and sucks my cock into his mouth all the way to the root in one go.
“Holy fucking of fuck.”
His shoulders shake, probably from laughter, but he doesn’t pull off me. Nope. He doesn’t stop sucking my cock until I’m so blissed-out I don’t even notice that he’s playing with my ass again.
He keeps his promise, not that I ever thought he wouldn’t, and doesn’t push inside, but the pad of his fingertip circling it is like a giant tease. Suddenly, my ass does want in on the action, and my hips try to take over, try to get him to press inside me.
My chest rises and falls with my heavy panting, and I throw my head back. “Okay. I’m open to it. I’m definitely open to it. God, I need it. Please. I need your finger.”
Instead of giving me what I want, what I’m begging for, Parker buries his head in my groin and moves his hand away from my hole and to my balls, where he squeezes me once and then again.
I fill his mouth with my cum so unexpectedly I didn’t even have time to give him warning, but he swallows me all down anyway.
My muscles ache in the best possible way, and then I slump against his couch.
He lifts his head and wipes his mouth, his expression so smug. “High school me would be shocked to know that Connor Kikishkin begged me to finger his ass.”
“High school me would be shocked as well.” I sit up, wanting to do something for him. I might not be ready to suck his dick, but I have done anal with women before. Or I could give him a handjob again. I was comfortable with that pretty quickly. “You need me to?— ”
I glance down at his lap, where his spent cock is peeking out from his wet pajama pants.
His smile is bashful, and his cheeks are a nice rose color. “I might have taken things into my own hands at the end there, but seriously, Connor Kikishkin begging for me might be the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
My smile matches his. For some reason, his words make me bashful. Jesus H. Christ, I’m in trouble.
“I guess we’ll have to make me begging a regular thing.” Because I’m so not above begging if it gives me orgasms like that.