34. AUDRA first sex #2
His gaze doesn't waver. That steady, unbothered calm that suddenly feels a whole lot more sinister than reassuring.
"I looked into you," he reiterates.
Like that explains everything. Like that makes it okay. But it doesn't. It makes it worse.
"So what," I press, taking a step closer without realizing it, "you were just… watching my life? Waiting?"
The word hangs there. Waiting. For what? For something to go wrong? For me to become available? For—No. I stop myself right there and shake my head slightly, as if I can physically dislodge the thought before it takes root.
"That doesn't give you the right to insert yourself. To interfere. To—" My hand lifts, gesturing sharply between us. "To engineer things."
His expression doesn't change. Not defensive. Not apologetic. Just… steady.
"To invite me into your world? Watch me? Investigate me?" Each word lands harder. "Manipulate the situation so I'd end up exactly where you wanted me?"
When he doesn't answer, I snap, "You had no right."
My chest is rising and falling too fast now. My pulse roars loudly in my ears. Because this… this isn't protection. This isn't even about control. This is obsession.
"That's not normal," I accuse, no less sharp. "That's not okay."
"No," he agrees.
Just like that. No denial. No justification. For some reason, that makes it worse. My breath catches for a second. Because he's not pretending. Not softening it. Not making it easier for me to accept. He's just… owning it.
"I didn't plan this," he adds. "Not like this."
A humorless huff leaves me. "Really? Because from where I'm standing, it looks pretty damn deliberate."
"It started that way," he admits.
Another hit. Another crack in whatever I thought this was.
"But this?" His gaze drops briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes. "This isn't."
The air shifts again. That pull. That awareness. Still there. Stronger now. Despite everything. Despite what I just found out. What the hell is wrong with me?
"I saw you at the police station," his voice turns deeper.
"And yeah, I liked you from that moment and wanted to get to know you.
But you were married, so I kept my distance.
I didn't want to interfere in your life like that.
But I couldn't entirely stay away from you.
So be fucking mad at me." He shrugs. "The devil knows I deserve it.
All of it. But I'm not going to apologize for liking you. For wanting you."
"And while we're at it, I can see it in your face.
I had nothing to do with Pete's murder. Did I want him gone?
Fuck yes. Did I want him dead?" He shrugs.
"I wouldn't have cared how he got out of your life as long as he did.
What I didn't want or do, what I never did and would never do, is anything that would hurt you. "
I stare at him openmouthed, because… shit, am I that easy to read? Or… is he just that perfect on picking up on my emotions?
He takes a step forward, and I take a step back. But my heart. My stupid, stupid heart flutters. Heavily. I should NOT be feeling this way. Absolutely not. For fuck's sake, I just lost my husband. But his eyes are burning into me with an intensity that makes my knees go weak.
He's a good-looking man. Very good looking.
And in that suit? He's enough to fill a few girlish fantasies and to keep vibrators busy.
That vibe of power coming off him wherever he goes?
Hell, that's one hell of a turn-on. But that's not all of it.
It doesn't matter how much I try to deny it or keep erecting that wall that says I'm married.
I was just widowed. Gabe keeps tearing it down faster than I can build it up.
None of that seems to matter to my traitorous body. My stupid, aching vagina floods with heat, my panties grow slick and damp as my pussy clenches with shameless need, practically purring: And what about you, Audra? What do you deserve?
My nipples tighten into hard, sensitive peaks, pushing insistently against the lace of my bra like they're screaming for his mouth, his teeth, the rough scrape of his stubble. Touch us. Claim us. Make us forget every other man who's ever existed.
I squeeze my thighs together, mortified by how wet I already am, how desperately my body is begging for the very man I should be running from.
This sexual attraction is stronger than anything I've ever encountered in my life.
I raise my hands to ward him off as I keep moving back until the solid surface of the wall stops me.
My palms press against his suit. I can feel the hard beat of his heart underneath it.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. Fast, so incredibly fast. Just like mine.
My head lifts. He's close, so damn close.
The smell of his cologne—something expensive that smells of sandalwood and cider—plays havoc with what's left of my senses.
I forget to breathe. Just stop. Stare up at him.
His pupils are dilated so much that his eyes are almost black.
He stares back at me with a hunger that floods my already wet panties even more.
It's not just hunger, though. There's desire, too, and something else I refuse to name right now. I can see myself reflected in his eyes.
My tongue flicks over my lips. Fuck, Audra, you didn't just do that.
His head dips lower. There is no question in his eyes now. He's going to take what he wants. And again, Fuck. My panties are fucking drenched, because God help me. I want him too.