Chapter 11 Scarlett
SCARLETT
The kiss evolved into something I’d never experienced before, with an electric current of need that only increased in strength the longer our mouths moved together.
And I certainly never experienced what came next.
When our kiss deepened into an almost frenzy, rather than having my rideshare take me home, Jace and I got a taxi to his hotel.
There, the kiss continued, only broken up when we needed to watch where we were walking.
It was only when I was standing in front of his now-open hotel door that I wondered what the hell I was doing.
At the risk of coming off like a prude, I had never done this before.
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t opposed to a one-night stand, nor having the gumption to sleep with a guy shortly after you just met him.
If anything, I envied the women who were so free and confident in themselves that they would make those types of decisions, but for a brief moment, a small part of me wondered if I was being reckless.
Dangerous even. I didn’t know this man, and I’d let him lure me to his hotel room.
Yet my instincts told me he wouldn’t hurt me. We were in a public hotel, with shared walls, a phone, and plenty of places to run. My protective nature ceased and desisted, paving the way for the biggest question on my mind: Why was I doing this?
My life was a series of multistep plans strung together and organized around a goal.
Hell, if I did relationships (which, again, I did not), I’d probably create a PowerPoint presentation and some sort of scoring list for men.
And sadly, the only ones I’d ever be open to dating would be the kind you’d never marry.
I wanted nothing to do with powerful men, thanks to my past, so that probably left the weak and unmotivated.
That was a huge cup of no thanks, but I digressed.
All these years of carefully, strategically, exhaustingly working up the corporate ladder and going without much of a personal life.
I was the girl who, when walking on a path, kept my eyes on the end of the sidewalk, on the destination for which each step was meticulously designed.
I didn’t just fail to smell the flowers; many times, I didn’t even notice them along the way.
Telling myself I could have fun tomorrow.
I could watch that movie that had been on my list forever, make a sizable dent in my Tbr, ride my horse daily rather than just on weekends, and do all the other things I had been sacrificing tomorrow.
That today was about discipline and working toward my goal. Responsible, careful, and preplanned.
And for what? I’d missed all those flowers to find the end of the path, the career I’d sacrificed for, to be a mirage. A jackal in a suit who sabotaged what I’d been working toward.
Now, with Jace waiting for me with an open door, he beckoned me from my comfortable, predictable life into the unknown.
Which made me realize something else: I had never embraced the simple act of being desired.
This thing with Jace was me trust-falling into the opposite of everything I’d been.
Led by desire and fun only. And you know what?
I needed this. Like a cleanse of some sort.
Uninhibited, don’t think too much about this, just have fun, and have (hopefully) mind-blowing sex.
Then, Monday morning, I’d go back to work and move forward in a constructive, thoughtful manner.
Tonight, I couldn’t control if I’d be able to salvage the promotion that consumed my life to earn, nor could I control what HR did to Grabby Hands once I reported him. But I could control my reaction to flowers. And Jace was a stunning bouquet of my favorites.
All I needed to do was step inside his garden.