Chapter 45 Scarlett
SCARLETT
I looked up at Jace, standing there in his almost-drenched suit. His green eyes were fixed on me, attentive and questioning. That Forbes-cover-worthy haircut framed a face that was just unfairly handsome. All of it dripping wet from the thunderstorm raging as much around us as in my heart.
“This is uncharted territory for me,” Jace started. “I never intended to hurt you or diminish your worth. I see your talent, your drive; you’re more than deserving of that promotion. I thought I was helping by moving quickly, but I never meant to upset you.”
His words washed away some of my anger, but good intentions didn’t erase the reality check I’d just received. Jace wielded the kind of enormous power that could create a new position with the stroke of a pen while I’d sacrificed weekends and sleep just for a chance to be considered.
“You know this is something that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never understand,” I began, my voice steady despite the tremor in my chest. “You’ve always had power.
You were born with it because of your money, your family’s influence.
One phone call from your parents could probably make most problems disappear. ”
Jace’s shoulders tensed slightly, but he remained silent, giving me space to continue.
“I shoved a kid once and was suspended for three days. My grades suffered,” I said.
His jawline tightened, the first hint that my words were landing.
“In high school, my friend shoplifted a shirt worth one hundred and one dollars—one dollar over the felony threshold. She’s been a convicted felon ever since, struggling to find work.
” I faced him directly. “But if your friends had done something similar, their parents would’ve probably called the prosecutor or judge.
Any charges probably would have disappeared entirely. ”
“Scarlett,” he started, his deep voice soft.
Lightning illuminated the sidewalk, cars sloshing past with the scoop-slap of their wipers.
I held up my hand. “We live in different worlds, Jace. You’re swimming with a current rushing you forward.
I’m not saying you don’t face obstacles or hardships, but the current works for you, not against you.
Your chances of landing where you want to be are high. When you speak, people believe you.”
His eyes never left my face, conflict evident as recognition dawned that I might be right.
“I grew up fighting against a current designed to push people back and hold them down. My father held me down. Even an abuser was believed more than my mother.”
Jace’s hand twitched at his side, as if wanting to reach for me but thinking better of it.
“I finally break free, put myself through college, get my mom out, build a career from scratch,” I said, words tumbling faster, “and then some privileged man who probably never heard the word no, whose problems magically disappeared, who never learned you couldn’t abuse power …
he and I ended up in the same room, and he tried to take it all away. ”
Jace stepped forward, his muscled frame rigid.
I shook my head. “That’s something you can’t understand.
I know you’ll try, and I appreciate that.
But you’ll never fully grasp what it’s like to know that if you raise your hand against someone powerful, the most likely outcome is that your career will end while he gets nothing but a slap on the wrist. That’s the power you represent to me now.
And I don’t know if it’ll ever be something I can get past.”
He ran a hand through his hair, momentarily disrupting it before it fell right back into place.
Even his hair obeys him, I thought bitterly. Even when he was in the middle of the thunderstorm, his hair did exactly what he probably wanted it to do.
“Let’s look at more examples. How many times did you go to bed hungry? Did you wonder where your next meal would come from?” I stepped closer. “I did. My father would raid the cabinets as punishment.”
Jace’s neck tightened, a vein popping out.
“How about college? Did you wonder how to pay for it? I worked three jobs, applied for every loan and aid possible. It was almost impossible. I bet funding wasn’t even on your to-do list.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“And consequences? Does the world throw the book at a Lockwood, or do they appreciate your family’s donations?”
Something in his face darkened. His Adam’s apple bobbed with … was that guilt?
“Then job interviews. Have you ever had a boss threaten your promotion by putting his hand on your thigh, making it clear there was only one way you’d get it?”
Pure, controlled fury crossed Jace’s face, though not at me. His shoulders straightened, and I glimpsed why people followed him.
“Have you ever had to consider reporting said incident and having to weigh all the consequences of what might happen if you did? Don’t believe me?
Why don’t you look up the last three people who raised their brave hands to alert the company that they had a predator in the mix?
And find out where those three women are now and where the three men are. ”
Jace took a step toward me, his movement purposeful but gentle. “Scarlett—”
“Extra credit if you look deeper at those three men and see if any other complaints had ever been filed against them—because my bet is, the answer is yes. And my bet is, those three women had their careers destroyed when they raised their hands to try to do the right thing.”
I could see each of my words hitting him like punches, even as he maintained his composure.
“This is why power turns me off, Jace.”
As I turned on my heel to leave, Jace’s impassioned words hit me from behind, halting my retreat.
“You’re right. The world is messed up and unfair.
But you’re blaming me for things outside my control!
” he snapped. “Admittedly, I’ve lived a privileged life, but that privilege didn’t leave me unscathed.
Money couldn’t save my mom from cancer or protect my dad from being murdered.
And money is why I’ve shielded myself from relationships.
I learned the hard way that it makes people pretend to care.
So, yes, money and power have provided me many things, Scarlett, but those things also came at a cost. And no amount of money and power could guard me against the world’s brutality or give me my parents back. ”
My heart softened, and I turned back to face him. “I can have compassion for what you’ve faced, Jace, but life’s odds are still stacked in your favor. The obstacles between us are just too high.”
He stepped closer. I stepped back.
“So, that’s it?” he challenged.
“I guess so.”
“Tell me you don’t have feelings for me,” he demanded, his voice dropping to that dangerous, velvet tone that had undone me before. “Tell me you don’t want this.”
I opened my mouth to lie, to protect myself. But the words failed me. My heart thumped traitorously against my ribs.
His eyes caught my hesitation, and something triumphant flashed across his face.
“You don’t get it, do you?” I whispered, a new coldness settling in my chest. “It doesn’t matter what I feel. It never has.”
“Of course it matters—”
“No,” I cut him off with finality. “As long as you’re holding all the cards in the relationship, I can’t see us ever working out.”
With a deep breath, I walked up to him, kissed him on the cheek, and with fresh tears in my eyes, turned and walked away.