Chapter 4
Davey
I ducked out to grab the morning after pill—for the first time since college.
The too-small condom fucked everything up.
What had been mind-blowing sex had given into an awkward dance.
While I gathered Eva didn’t hold it against me, I gathered she remained nervous about what happened.
Who wouldn’t be? It’s not like she knew me, and a broken condom could have disastrous consequences.
Out of a desire to earn trust, I ducked into the same drugstore early that morning and grabbed a packet of Plan B from the pharmacist. When I returned, I admired Eva’s naked ass as she slept.
She stirred only as I entered the shower.
When I emerged, I found her sifting through the pharmacy bag.
As she lifted the box from the bedside table, she stared with her brow furrowed in confusion.
“I hope that’s okay?” I asked.
“It’s… wow, you really are full-service,” Eva laughed.
“I told you I’d do it,” I said. “I feel fucking awful about it. I mean, sex was…”
“Can you put on a towel?” Eva asked.
“What? Oh, shit. Uh…” I pulled the towel all the way around me.
“No, it’s just… damn you have impressive… well… all of you is even better in the morning light and it’s really fucking distracting.”
“Sorry,” I blushed.
She stammered, flirtatious grin gone, “No, you’re like a God. You must spend forever at the gym. I’m a mess. I should go.”
She rushed to her pile of clothes and pulled on her underwear and bra.
“You really don’t have to rush. I have a late check out.”
“No, it’s okay. I am sure—”
“I really feel bad, Eva, I don’t want this to end all fucked up.”
“No, it’s not that. You have—in many ways—reminded me not all men are dicks. So, well done. No, it’s that… you look like you. I look like me. And now that we’re in beautiful daylight, I realize you must have had second thoughts.”
Her words surprised me. This wasn’t about the broken condom. This was her concern about her body? Why?
“No, I didn’t. You’re beautiful.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Eva, you’re gorgeous. What are you worried about? I couldn’t help myself last night.”
“Uh-huh.” She repeated, pulling her dress over her head and zipping it with finality.
“I mean it. I don’t chase women. I don’t know if you know who I am, but—”
“Yes, I’m a pity fuck who should be lucky enough to have your million-dollar dick inside me, right?”
That annoyed me. “Eva, I am pouring my heart out. I was going to ask to see you again. I like your personality. Your body is just a nice bonus.”
“Yeah, I’m sure I’m your type.”
“You are, actually,” I said, annoyed.
She grabbed the pill box, shoved it in her purse and took a deep breath. “Thank you for this. It really was sweet. I had fun. Don’t call me. Don’t even try to call me. This would never work.”
Then, she left.
What the fuck just happened?
Eva
Flight was my usual conflict response. When Davey surprisingly got me Plan B, I wasn’t prepared to respond.
Everything with people in my life seemed transactional.
Mona and I ended our relationship fighting about who got the fucking dog—spoiler alert, her.
She claimed that she’d done all she could to support my “fertility journey” even though we entered it together.
Of course, Davey pulled the “I don’t chase women” card.
It was so typical. Rich, cis-het white man sleeps with girl nowhere near hot enough for him on paper.
I knew my worth. I knew I was a good lay and my body didn't quit, but men like him didn’t pursue girls like me for anything other than a good time.
He’d never bring me home to his stuck-up parents.
I swallowed the pill in the bathroom after returning to my room. Everyone was asleep. Before he could text, I blocked Davey’s number. There was no need to hear anger about my ungratefulness.
I suffered through brunch, mainly sticking by Jace and ignoring the other bridesmaids. I didn’t get a chance to speak to Ellie until we were on the train headed home.
“What happened with the guy?” Ellie asked. “You said nothing. Was it that bad? He seemed nice.”
“He was nice,” I said. “But you know that would never work.”
“Uh, why?”
“Well, because I’m me and he’s him. It was a nice fever dream while it lasted. That’s all it was.”
“What? He was into you. Did he do something weird?”
“No,” I said. “He was sweet, but he tried to tell me he was attracted to me one too many times. The man had cumgutters. This morning, he was even more gorgeous than the night before. He doesn’t end up with me.”
“Sweetie, you’re not ugly.”
“I know. I said. I’m pretty, but I’m not his type. He protested too much. I don’t own a watch that costs more than a decent house. I don’t end up with him. I live with my fucking middle-class parents in podunk Indiana. Meanwhile, he’s probably got some Christian Grey style penthouse.”
“You wrote him off because he told you that you were pretty too much? You said he made you squirt the first time he fingered you. Do you know how many times Mike has fingered me to squirting? Never. Zero. You should have locked that shit down.”
“You are locking it down with Mike right now!”
“I know. I love him. He does lots of other things better than my ex, but I miss that sometimes. There is no perfect man. Don’t be the bitch who complains about a rich man wanting to spoil her!”
“I am, I guess. Look, he proved that straight men aren’t hopeless. The sex was good. He wasn’t selfish. Maybe I could consider dating a dude, but not that dude. Eat the rich.”
“Eat the rich? Girl, Mona was fucking loaded, and you stayed with her for five years.”
“Mona built her own wealth—”
“Her parents sent her to one of the best private schools in England. She was privileged and you loved her.”
Still do.
“Fine, she was rich. But not like he is rich. If you saw the suite he got us… damn! I am not even sure it was real. It feels more like a dream.”
“You should text him!”
“I’ve already blocked him.”
“Eva!”
“Don’t go there. It’s over. We’re done. I start my dream job in two weeks and need to focus. It was nice while it lasted. Who knows if he was even really single?”
“Eva, I saw no indication he was married. And having a job doesn’t preclude you—”
“I am starting off in a totally new position well beyond anything I’ve ever done. And after everything with Mona I’m in my Me, Me, Me Era. Now, did you have a good party?”
“It was the best. Thank you for putting up with all of it. Jace and you were rockstars, as was the mystery man. It was lovely. Callie is… a wreck… but you took care of her, so I appreciate it.”
“I am not on duty at the wedding,” I warned. “I plan to get blitzed and not be the babysitter.”
“Her boyfriend will be there to deal with her. Promise.”
We soon arrived at our nearest stop—Hammond.
Ellie departed with her fiancé, Mike, and her daughter, Jane.
Ellie and her ex, Clay, co-parented admirably.
Their marriage ended over a legendary cheating scandal.
I hated Clay for stepping out when his kid was an infant, but Mike and Clay got along for Jane’s sake.
Jane ran to hug me and talked my ear off.
Jane and Ellie were the best part of my transatlantic return.
I missed being in their lives so often. I chatted for a bit with her and climbed into my old truck.
My parents lived between Hammond and Dyer in a little town called Krakow.
Founded by Poles, the place’s one street lacked so much as a four-way stop.
My parents owned a hobby farm just outside town.
Before I reached it, I passed dozens of McMansions.
In the last ten years since I left for college in the UK, Chicagoans moved here for cheaper taxes and “better” schools—better being coded language for “whiter”.
The land where they’d planted these terrible architectural monstrosities previously belonged to my grandfather.
I pulled in the drive, feeling a little queasy from the meds and reticent to say more.
My mom and sister sat in the kitchen drinking iced tea as I carted my overnight bag in and threw my clothes down the laundry chute. The benefits of a hundred-year-old farmhouse were immense.
“How was it?” Mom asked.
“It was good,” I said. “So much screaming and ridiculous behavior, but Jace and I survived.”
Brooke, my suddenly religious sister, rolled her eyes and patted her growing baby bump.
Brooke, like Ellie, was divorced. She remarried a few years ago.
Her husband—a manchild named Ian—was the builder of many of the new McMansions in the area.
His family—like ours—was Catholic, but much more “devout”.
That was a nice way of saying they were judgmental fundamentalist Catholics who thought the pope was illegitimate because he was down with AIDS prevention.
I hated people like them. My sister hadn’t always been this way, but now she even abhorred Jace, who spent years here as a surrogate younger sibling.
Mom and Dad didn’t agree but stayed out of it.
Nonbinary Jace was always welcome, but my parents avoided hosting both at the same time.
“Well, as long as you got home safe and Ellie had fun.” Mom smiled. “That’s all that matters.”
“Agreed,” I said. “I’m gonna go out and ride Poco. Is Dad in the barn?”
Mom nodded. “He might join you. He’s bored.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” I said.
A ride around the woods might do everyone good. I had a few weeks before I started my new job at a downtown Chicago firm. I had such a chaotic breakup and move that I promised myself a slow ease into this. Life was better from the back of a horse, so I had to get out more.