Chapter 29
Ashley
Ispend less and less time alone with Zoe.
She has her computer world; I have my deadly one. Plus, the cunning Ryker constantly creeps into not only every single day of my life but also my thoughts. He’s also breaking down all the defensive walls of my heart.
I feel vulnerable, yet I know he’ll protect me. Isn’t that a paradox?
Being close to Ryker teaches me it’s worth taking off my mask.
But today, Zoe and I decide to spend the evening together. Alone.
I sent Ryker a text to let him know that men aren’t welcome in our apartment tonight. I guess he’s busy because I haven’t heard from him yet. How do I know? Because I keep checking my phone.
Dressed in pajamas, with glasses of red wine in our hands and a bowl of popcorn between us, we watch a romantic comedy. I keep getting lost in the plot and don’t know what’s going on. But I laugh when Zoe does, and nod when she sighs.
I’m hopeless at this.
There’s one more reason why we are here today. It’s about time I talked to her about Charles Baker. But first, I just want us to spend some time together. Just like normal sisters do.
I’ve been putting off this conversation for days. It’s always “not the right moment,” always “just a little longer.” And now that time is over.
Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. Zoe and I look at each other, surprised.
“Did you invite someone over?” she asks.
“Of course not. Did you?”
Zoe shakes her head. She presses Pause on the remote and gets up with a sigh. Turning on the light she opens the door.
“Well, well, well. It’s Ryker,” Zoe says with feigned joy, laced with irritation. As soon as Ryker passes her in the doorway, she adds coolly, “And his faithful mutt, Elijah.”
“Ladies,” Eli greets us, his voice warm. “Sorry to interrupt your evening.”
“Then you shouldn’t have, and you wouldn’t have to apologize,” Zoe adds sweetly.
Meanwhile, Ryker comes up to me and plants a quick kiss on my lips. I’m about to open mine, begging for more, but he pulls away.
You’re so easy, Ash, I admonish myself.
However, until now, I hadn’t realized how much I missed him. And yet, it has only been a couple hours since we last saw each other.
Unease quickly replaces this excitement when I notice how tense he is. With a grim expression, he plants his butt on the table and stares at me. And I just feel... that something’s very wrong.
“Ryker?” My voice is soft but suspicious.
He doesn’t answer, just stares.
What’s going on here?
“Zoe, take a seat,” Eli says.
“I’m not a dog. You’re not giving me orders.”
God, these two. If they were left alone in the apartment for half a second, they would slit each other’s throats.
“Let me try again.” He clears his throat. “Zoe, please sit on the couch for a moment.”
Now I’m sure that something is seriously wrong. And judging by the look my sister gives me, she’s aware of it too. Eli’s being too polite, and that doesn’t bode well.
With her legs shaking, Zoe obeys his request, not taking her eyes off him.
“Now will you tell us what’s going on?” I ask, staring at my man.
He grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly. “I’m afraid we have bad news...” His voice breaks for a moment. “We’re both so sorry we have to break this to you. There’s no good way to say it...”
“Ryker! Just tell us what happened! I don’t need a textbook introduction to psychology.”
The guys exchange a quick glance, and Eli nods. Do I seem emotionally unstable? Maybe I am.
Like every time I’m expecting a blow, I tense up. My thoughts start spinning, and I clench my hands.
Every minute of silence drives me crazy.
“Your father is dead. We’re very sorry,” Ryker says softly.
Silence falls, the kind that not only deafens but also crushes.
Impossible! No fucking way! I just found him. I just talked to him for the first time in my life!
Is this a stupid joke?
“Our father?” The surprise in Zoe’s words is obvious. “How do you know who our father is?”
I don’t have the courage to look her straight in the eye, let alone tell her what I know right now.
God, I fucked up.
My hands shake. I nervously start twisting the ring on my thumb.
A weight I’ve never felt before rests on my chest.
“Zoe… I was going to tell you today—” I cut myself off. I can’t. Oh God, I can’t!
“You found our father?” She screeches rather than asks. “How? When? Who is he?”
“Who was he,” Eli corrects quietly.
I give him a sharp look, but his attention is completely focused on my sister.
“Alex. He steered me to some information about him. It was Charles Baker, the former senator.”
“Of the United States?”
“No, goddamn Antarctica,” Eli snaps. “Yes, of the United States, for fuck’s sake.”
“Shut the fuck up. I’m not talking to you!” Zoe throws back.
My sister’s outburst makes him fall silent. I’m sure it’s only because of the circumstances; otherwise, he wouldn’t have let her get away with it.
“I don’t understand, Ash,” she says again. Her surprise, disbelief, and heartbreak are evident in her voice. “What did our mother have to do with the senator? And why didn’t you tell me this before?”
From the corner of my eye, I glance at Ryker before answering. “They met when they were young, but they quickly went their separate ways. At first, I wasn’t sure he was our father. Then I couldn’t track him down because he was in hiding. Except—he denies that—”
Damn it! How am I supposed to tell her?
It’s so damn hard. I already had to tell her about her parents’ death once...
I can’t even think about how much pain I’m about to bring her. My heart’s breaking. But I have to be strong. For both of us.
For the second time in many years, my eyes burn, but I swallow it down. The first time it happened was when I asked Alex for help with her case, panic in my eyes.
“He wasn’t your father,” I squeeze out through my tight throat.
Despite her trembling legs, Zoe jumps up from the couch. She stands up straight, crosses her arms over her chest, and glares at me. “You mean you saw him and still didn’t tell me?”
Oh God!
“How could you!”
“Zoe—”
“Save it! Who do you think you are? Who are you? My sister would never hide something like this from me. Never! She was always my best friend, and we could tell each other everything. We were a team! And now? Now I don’t even recognize you.
For five whole seconds, I have a father who is already dead and who isn’t even my real father?
This is too fucked up, and it’s all your fault! I hate you, Ash!” Her voice breaks too.
Zoe’s scream tears my heart apart, and every single word is like a dagger. However, I can’t deny she’s right. She is. And the first tear rolling down my face is like an admission of guilt.
With that last word, Zoe storms off to her room.
I’m about to follow her, but Eli stops me with a raised hand. “I’ll talk to her. Give her a minute to calm down.”
A flood of tears streams from my eyes as I watch Eli follow her. I’m the one who should be comforting her right now, but she hates me, and rightly so.
I’m a shitty sister.
Arms wrap around me and pull me close to a hard chest. The warmth radiating from Ryker is soothing. I feel his hands tangling in my hair and his lips tenderly kissing the top of my head.
“Shhh...” he comforts me. “Everything will be fine. Everything will be okay, my love.”
“Zoe’s right. It’s my fault, and I’m not surprised she hates me...”
“She doesn’t think that at all. She can’t see the world beyond you, Ash. She loves you. Once the dust settles, you’ll talk, and everything will be fine.”
I doubt his words whispered into my hair. “How did this happen, Ryker? We were talking to him just a few days ago,” I ask, pulling my head back and looking him in the eyes.
He still doesn’t let go of me.
“I don’t know who killed him. His body was dumped in the basement of one of my warehouses. The security guard called me to the scene.” A strange note is in Ryker’s voice. Fear? Maybe something else entirely.
“Wait a minute. You found him in your warehouse?” It doesn’t add up. Why a place connected to Ryker?
He nods in response, and I again see that strange something in his eyes.
My stomach turns upside down.
No, it’s impossible.
“Ryker—I’m only going to ask you this once, and I’m asking you to answer me honestly. Did you kill my father?”
First he sighs, then he shakes his head. The thing that resembles fear in his eyes turns into undisguised sadness. “No, Ash. I didn’t kill him.”
“But—” I can’t believe what’s happening. It can’t end like this!
Doubts, like a sneaky snake, begin to creep into the recesses of my soul.
“Ash, baby?”
I have two choices. Either I can let doubt cloud my judgment of the man I’m head over heels in love with, or I can bet on honesty.
Watching him closely, I bet on the latter.
“Then—the last time we saw him alive, you said that the next time you met, he would be dead.”
“I know, my Little Killer. I said that, but not because I was going to kill him. Fuck, I don’t even know what I was thinking.
I wanted him to leave, to hide. It was for your protection because if we didn’t do it, others would come after us and try the same thing.
My hope was that he would understand the gravity of the situation and that our next meeting would be when he was old, wrinkled, and a grandfather to our children. ”
My breath catches in my throat.
Children? Our children? My imagination has never wandered this far.
Ryker often jokes that one day I’ll be his wife. But those are just jokes, right? At least, I think so.
To my surprise, Ryker’s face remains serious. When he talks about these things, he doesn’t seem to be treating the subject lightly. He doesn’t seem to be joking.
“On the way here, I was thinking about it, Ash. I was afraid you’d blame me for it, afraid you wouldn’t believe me. After all, we both had a job to kill him... By all that is holy, my Little Killer, I swear I had nothing to do with it.”
For a split second, something inside me hisses: What if he’s lying? But it’s just an echo of fear, not intuition. I believe him. I know he’s not lying. I can see it in his eyes. I can see it in his soul.
“Someone else thinks something completely different, though,” I add, trying to solve the mystery. “It’s no coincidence that you found him in your warehouse. Can I see him?”
He scrunches his face as though he has eaten something sour.
“That’s not a good idea. I know you’ve seen much worse things.
Hell, you even take part in creating them.
But this isn’t the same. This is your father, and I don’t want this to be your last image of him.
You don’t have to decide now, but very soon we’ll have to decide what to do with his body. ”
I don’t want to make any decisions right now. As I barely knew him, perhaps his brother would be better suited to make those decisions. We only spoke for a short time.
I didn’t know what kind of coffee he drank, what his laugh sounded like, or if he would have had a silly nickname for me. And yet something inside me is breaking. He was my father. Still, I feel a twinge inside.
Zoe isn’t the only one who’s losing him, although her loss will be felt a little differently.
She wasn’t his biological child, so her real father may be out there somewhere, alive, wondering about her life.
She may still hold out hope. Hope that I can no longer have.
Apart from Zoe, I’m completely alone in this world.
“That’s not true,” Ryker whispers and kisses my forehead again. “You’re not alone, and you never will be. I’m here for you.”
Again, I was saying my thoughts out loud.
The back of my hand wipes my cheeks, but they’re almost completely dry.
“Who could have done this, Ryker? Do you have any suspicions? Ismael? Your father?”
Ryker shakes his head before answering, “I can’t be sure. You said yourself it was someone connected to me. Someone wanted me to find him. Maybe they even want me to look guilty.”
“Guilty to whom? To the police?”
“The police?” He snorts with an ominous laugh. “No. But maybe someone wants you to think that?”
“Who is your greatest enemy, Ryker? Who would gain the most if you were left completely alone?”
Ryker doesn’t have to think long before answering. “My father.”