40. Liam
FORTY
LIAM
I’m wide awake at four in the morning.
And, after a nine-hour flight that crossed too many timezones to count, it’s goddamn brutal.
I hold back a groan and stretch my arms above my head, knowing there’s no chance I’m going back to sleep. I glance down and find Piper sound asleep next to me, dead to the world, and I smile.
Her arms circle my waist. Her head rests on my chest, and she mumbles something about butterflies. I huff out a laugh and carefully slip out of bed so I don’t disturb her.
I grab my workout clothes, knowing a trip to the gym is the only thing that will settle me. My teammates are at practice, and I don’t want to fall behind. I don’t want to get left in the dust, and there’s this nervous energy running through me.
When I change and make it downstairs, I hightail it to the coffee shop, needing a vat of caffeine in my system to keep my eyes open. My phone buzzes in my pocket before I can order, and I know who it’s going to be before I even look at the screen.
Alana
How do you feel about a walk on the beach?
Me
With anyone else, I’d hate it.
With you, I can get behind it.
Alana
Meet you downstairs in five?
Me
Already here.
I add an extra drink to my order and grab the cups, making my way to the lobby. Leaning against a column, I wait for my sister to join me, smiling when I see her exit the elevator in a white sundress and a hat that says brIDE over the bill in bold letters.
“Christ, Lani. The sun isn’t up yet and you’re walking around with that thing on your head?” I call out, and Alana flips me off. “I don’t think there’s going to be any doubt about who’s the one getting married.”
“Sorry, I don’t speak smart-ass.” She grins when I hand over her cup and takes a long sip. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nope. My body thinks it’s ten o’clock back home.”
“You’re usually asleep at ten.”
“I know, and I’m all fucking confused.”
“We missed you at cocktail hour last night.”
“No, you didn’t. I would’ve irritated the hell out of everyone.”
“Yes, you would’ve. But we still missed you.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to butter me up, Lani. Is there something you want to ask me?”
“No.” She rolls her eyes. “Can’t I be nice to my big brother?”
“Of course you can.” I drape my arm over her shoulder. “It just so rarely happens, I’m not sure how to react.”
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Li.” She throws her whole body into mine and I laugh, hugging her tight. “I wish you could stay longer.”
“So do I. The NHL doesn’t believe in extended time off though, so my ass has to head back to the cold sooner than I’d like. But fuck it. We’ll worry about that in a few days. Ready for some fresh air?”
“Why do you think I picked a destination wedding?” Alana loops her arm through mine and we head for the double doors that lead to a boardwalk. The morning breeze hits my face as we step outside, and I inhale a deep breath of salty air. “It’s not warm out here, is it? I should’ve brought a jacket with me.”
“You want to go back and grab one?”
“Nah. I’ll warm up as we move. And if I don’t, I’m going to force you to carry me back to the hotel. You need to put those muscles to use.”
I grin and pull her closer. “How are you feeling about your big day? Do you need to make a run for it before family brunch? I can have a plane here in an hour.”
“Hush.” She smacks my arm and we step onto the sand. “I am not running away from my wedding. Harry and I are very happy together. He’s a nice guy who’s not intimidated by my success, loves me on my worst days, and makes me laugh. With the parade of shitty men out there, do you really want me to give that up?”
“Never. He’s still not good enough for you, but I’m glad you’re happy. Feels like yesterday you were a kid who did ballet and wore ribbons in her hair. Now look at you.”
“It’s weird, isn’t it? I’m so grateful for my life, but it scares me how fast everything is moving around me. Mom and Dad are getting older. My friends are having kids. You’re nearing forty.”
“I haven’t hit thirty yet, Lani. Let’s slow our roll a little bit.”
“Speaking of getting old and having children, how are things going with Piper? Have you told her you’re in love with her yet?”
“ What ?” I whip my head to stare at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh.” She grins. “Are we pretending you don’t have feelings for the five-foot blonde you brought with you?”
“What do you know?”
“What do you think I know?”
I narrow my eyes.
Alana’s smart, and I’ve never been able to keep a secret from her. I groan and scrub a hand over my face, knowing today is not the day I start.
“Fine. I have a crush on Piper. It’s no big deal. It’s not going to be a whole fucking thing, okay? Our relationship isn’t real either. It’s something we planned so Mom and Dad would get off my ass about settling down because I can’t take another second of their badgering. I love them, but fucking Christ . Is my personal life all they care about?”
“I knew it.” She nearly drops her coffee when she claps. “I knew you two weren’t actually dating and I knew you had a crush on Piper. You’ve talked about her so much over the years. From anyone else, I wouldn’t bat an eye at the mention of a woman they saw at work. But from you? C’mon.”
“I’ve never mentioned her before,” I say.
“Bullshit. You told me she works for the Stars. You told me she got promoted. You told me she can’t skate, which is information I didn’t need to know, but now I do. Oh! You told me about her pink blazer and blonde hair. You’ve been doing it for years. From the day she first showed up at the arena.”
I rub my lips together and stare at the ocean. “It’s stupid. She was married when I first met her. I knew she was off-limits, but another part of me knew she wouldn’t stay with that sack of shit forever. I’ve always held out hope that she’d… I don’t know. Like me too? It’s why I haven’t—” I shake my head. “Never mind.”
“Come on. You can’t leave me hanging like that!”
“It’s not important.”
“You’ve never spilled your guts to me about a woman before. That means she’s important.”
“She is important, which is why I haven’t said anything. She went through shit with her ex-husband, and I don’t know if I can give her the attention she deserves. I’d never want her to feel like she’s in second place because I’m busy giving all my time to my job, but that’s how it is. I can’t drop everything to be with her.”
“Who’s asking you to? Dozens of guys in the league are married. They’re dads and guardians and able to split themselves between work and personal relationships. Why can’t you?”
“Because… I don’t fucking know? That’s how I am? That’s why I limit myself? Because I’m… obsessed? I can’t explain it. I wish I could just not give a shit every now and then, but I fucking can’t .”
“Maybe you can find a balance. A world where you can have Piper and your job. It would take time, but I bet it’s possible.”
“Maybe.” I sigh. “Doesn’t matter, though. She doesn’t feel that way about me. In a few weeks, she’ll be dating someone else.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s made you a know-it-all?”
“I saw the way she looked at you last night.” Lani’s smile turns softer. More reverent as she rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s exactly how you look at her. Like she’s the only one in the world.”
Alana doesn’t mention Piper again as we watch sunrise over the water, and neither do I.
We make a detour back to the coffee shop so I can grab a tea for Piper. I leave Lani in the elevator, getting out at the tenth floor instead of riding up to the bridal penthouse with her. It’s quiet when I sneak back to our suite. I’m careful as I slip into the bedroom and find Piper in the spot where I left her.
The sheets are bunched at her waist and her hair is all over the pillows. Her left arm is stretched out on my side of the bed, and I smile when she rolls over and runs her hand across the sheets. I sit on the edge of the mattress and watch her for a second, letting myself imagine a world where we do this every fucking day.
I’d make her breakfast. Drive her to the arena and kiss her before getting into my gear. We’d come home together and I’d listen to her while she tells me about her day, nodding along while she mentions broadcasting words I’m not familiar with but want to learn.
It’s not much different from what we’re doing now.
She sleeps over. We sit on my couch and talk. Sometimes we have sex. Sometimes we don’t. She’ll read and I’ll watch game film, sneaking a look at her every now and then only to find her sneaking a look at me.
It’s so fucking easy .
Could it be like that if we were dating for real?
Could I give her what she wants? What she fucking deserves?
I put my hand on her back and rub a small circle over her shoulder blades. “Morning,” I say, keeping my voice low.
Piper stirs. Her nose scrunches up and her eyes flutter open. She blinks and looks around the room, trying to figure out where she is.
“Liam? What time is it?”
“Time to start getting ready for breakfast. I let you sleep in.”
“How long have you been awake?” She yawns and sits up. “You’re dressed and drinking coffee, so I’m going to guess a while.”
“This is tea for you. I went with hibiscus.” I hand her the cup and she takes it eagerly. “Alana and I did a walk on the beach. I tried to get her to skip out on this whole wedding thing, but she’s pretty set on marrying the guy.”
“Guess you’re going to have to live with your younger sister being happy. Such a shame.” Piper takes a sip of the tea and lets out a quiet groan. “Oh, I feel revived. I know I slept for hours, but I don’t think it was enough.”
“You’re telling me. I’m going to be dragging all day. Guess it gives me an excuse to be crabby to someone.”
“Hey. You’re going to have to fake it, buddy.”
“I don’t want to. I want to go back to sleep.” I take the spot next to her and rest a hand on her hip. “You’re so warm.”
“That’s what happens when you stay in bed instead of going outside before the sun comes up.” She keeps her cup upright as she curls into me. “Five minutes, then we’re getting up.”
“Fine. If we have to.”
“We do have to. Don’t fall asleep, Liam.”
“Can’t help it. You’re so cozy,” I mumble, closing my eyes. “Oh. Alana knows we’re not actually dating, by the way.”
“You told her we’re faking it? We’ve been here twelve hours.”
“She figured it out. I’ve never been able to keep a secret from her, and I caved pretty quickly.”
“Now I know your weakness.” Piper touches my cheek. “Is it okay she knows?”
“It’s fine. This is more for my parents, and I think it’ll work out.”
“I like when your positive attitude comes out. Tell me, Liam, what else are you optimistic about?”
“Getting you out of your clothes. Ditch your shirt, Mitchell.”
“We have to be downstairs in twenty minutes.”
I crack an eye open and take her tea from her. Setting it on the table to my right, I roll on top of her and hold my mouth inches away from hers. “Today’s lesson is in how to get off quickly, because if you don’t finish before we need to head downstairs, you don’t get to come at all.”
Piper grins at me, and I feel it everywhere. Behind my ribs. Deep in my heart. The other places no one’s reached. Suddenly, Alana’s observation comes rushing back to me, and I’m feeling pretty fucking optimistic about that as well.
“Game on, Sullivan.”
I squeeze Piper’s hand in the elevator. “Ready?”
“The orgasm really helped take the edge off.” She plays with her necklace, her wedding band hanging from the thin chain and tucked beneath the hemline of her dress. “I didn’t know your fingers could move so fast.”
“It’s an art. When we get back to the room, I’ll teach you how to do that too.”
The doors open, and we walk into the lobby. We head for the restaurant, making our way to the private section roped off for the wedding party.
“Finally,” my mom says, waving at us with a mimosa in her hand. “We were waiting for you!”
“Sorry, Mom. That was my fault.” I kiss her cheek. “Don’t blame Piper.”
“I was ready to go ten minutes ago,” Piper adds. “It really is Liam’s fault.”
“Where’s Lani?” I scan the room, looking for my sister. I spot her at the end of a buffet table, her arm around her fiancé and a bright smile on her face. “Ah. I don’t think that dress is subtle enough.”
“Wait until you see her wedding dress. It’s gorgeous.” My mom’s eyes flash over to Piper. “Do you want to get married, dear?”
I groan. “For fuck’s sake, Mom. Let her have a pancake first.”
“It’s okay.” Piper smiles and accepts a champagne flute from a passing server. “I do want to get married. Maybe not four thousand miles away from home, but I’d love to have a wedding.”
“It’s all so lovely, isn’t it? Come sit, Piper. Liam’s told us nothing about you, and I’m hoping you can change that.” My mom tosses me a glare as she sits down, and I roll my eyes. “How did you two meet?”
“I’m on the broadcast team for the Stars, and we met in the hallway at the arena.” Piper joins her at the table and crosses her legs. “He probably doesn’t remember this, but on my first day, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. I had about eight notebooks in my hands and almost ran straight into him. When I thanked him for keeping me upright, he grunted and went on his way.”
It’s the real story of how we met, and I want to laugh at all the details she got right. There were about eight notebooks and she did almost run straight into me. I caught her at the last second to stop her from falling, and she thanked me a dozen times before I stalked away, embarrassed and flustered from the pretty girl who smiled at me.
“I’m not sure I grunted,” I interject. “I am capable of words, you know.”
“Are you?” Piper and my mom ask in unison. They both laugh, and I shake my head.
“This feels like an attack.”
“ Anyway . We’ve been friends for a while and one day, I decide to ask him out. It was a big risk because the last thing I wanted to do is ruin our friendship, but I think it paid off in the end,” Piper says.
“Oh, that’s sweet. We’ve always harped on about when Liam was going to settle down. He puts so much time and energy into hockey—I’m sure you’ve seen that. His father and I would never ask him to give up something he loves, but we don’t want him to miss out on other parts of his life because he’s too busy on the ice.”
“I understand. Sometimes I think things are worth waiting for, though. I’m divorced,” Piper admits, and I admire how easily she gives up that information.
She doesn’t sound embarrassed but proud, like she successfully completed one part of her journey and moved on to the next one.
“You poor thing.” My mom gives her a sad smile and touches her hand. “How long ago?”
“A couple years. It was difficult. The worst thing I’ve ever gone through, but I’m on the other side of it now. I know I got hurt, but if I hadn’t jumped into a relationship with the first guy who gave me attention, I’d be in a different place in my life. I might not have landed in DC, and I might not have met Liam. We wouldn’t have ended up together, and it makes me sad to think about a life without him in it.”
Piper looks at me as she says it, and it doesn’t feel like those words are an act. It feels like she means every single one of them, and it makes me sad to think about a life without her in it too.
“I would’ve always found you,” I say hoarsely. “And if I couldn’t find you, I would’ve waited for you. Two years. Three years or four. Doesn’t matter.”
She gives me that smile again.
The one that makes me feel alive.
Like I’ve been sleeping for thousands of years and now that I’m finally waking up, she’s the only thing I can see.
“You two are going to make me cry and it’s too early in the day for tears. You’re so strong to overcome that, Piper.” My mother grabs a napkin and wipes under her eye. “I hope Liam is gentle with you.”
Piper nods. “The most gentle. Who would’ve thought the big goalie was such a softie? Between me and Pico, I know he likes to pretend he’s tough. I see the real him, though.”
“Easy there, Sunshine. Don’t give away too many of my secrets.”
“Oops. Too late.”
My mom looks between us and smiles. “Liam, you know I don’t care what you do in your personal life. Single, married, dating for fifteen years. It doesn’t matter. I just want you to be happy, and it seems like you’re both very happy.”
I tip my chin in Piper’s direction. “Are you happy?”
Her eyes hold mine, and she gives me a slow nod. “Happiest I’ve ever been. Are you happy, Sully?”
“Very fucking happy,” I tell her, and it’s the damn truth.