43. Liam
FORTY-THREE
LIAM
Puck Kings
Maverick
How’s your sister’s wedding, Goalie Daddy?
G-Money
We miss you, Sully!
Easy E
Come home soon, Dad!!
Hudson
I love having Pico here, GK. I think I’m going to rescue a cat.
G-Money
Of course you are, animal lover.
Hudson
Please don’t call me that. People are going to get the wrong idea.
Maverick
Hey. Whatever you’re into, man. This is a safe space.
G-Money
Is it? Ethan posted a picture of me with a dick on my cheek in here last night and y’all made fun of me.
Easy E
You did that to yourself, dude. Don’t pass out at my place after two beers and I won’t draw penises on your face.
*You have left the chat*
*Easy E has added you to the chat*
G-Money
LOL. It’s always funny to see what the tipping point for Goalie Daddy will be. Today it’s face dicks.
Wonder what it’ll be tomorrow.
Puck Kings group chat
Maverick: How’s your sister’s wedding, Goalie Daddy?
G-Money: We miss you, Sully!!!
Easy E: Come home soon, Dad!
Hudson: I love having Pico here, GK. I think I’m going to rescue a cat.
G-Money: Of course you are, animal lover.
Hudson: Please don’t call me that. People are going to get the wrong idea.
Maverick: Hey. Whatever you’re into, man. This is a safe space.
G-Money: Is it? Ethan posted a picture of me with a dick on my cheek in here last night and y’all made fun of me.
Easy E: You did that to yourself, dude. Don’t pass out at my place after two beers and I won’t draw penises on your face.
*You have left the chat*
*Easy E has added you to the chat*
G-Money: LOL. It’s always funny to see what the tipping point for Goalie Daddy will be. Today it’s face dicks.
G-Money: Wonder what it will be tomorrow.
**
Something is wrong with Piper.
She’s been acting differently since the rehearsal dinner last night.
All her smiles are strained. Her answers to questions are short. And when I woke up this morning, she was on the other side of the bed.
It’s driving me fucking insane trying to figure out what’s going through her mind. I missed a dozen texts and forgot to respond to Coach about practice this weekend, too busy racking my brain about what I might have done to piss Piper off.
The lack of response earned me a ten-minute phone call about responsibilities and balancing my priorities. A lecture on how I’m lucky to have a few days away, but that doesn’t mean I can blow off everything waiting for me back home.
The chastising made me feel like shit, like I’m neglecting important parts of my life, and I’m still carrying my sour attitude with me as I stand in the hallway outside the hotel ballroom, waiting for my cue to walk Alana down the aisle with my dad.
“Hey.” My sister snaps her fingers in my face and I blink. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Is that why you’ve been scowling for the last five minutes?”
“I’m not scowling.”
“You’re staring at the wall like it did something to offend you.”
I run a hand through my hair and check over my shoulder. My dad is distracted, busy talking with one of the bridesmaids. Last-minute guests are filing into the chairs arranged in a dozen rows, and I know I have some time before the ceremony starts.
“I’m frustrated,” I tell her, dropping my voice low. “I did something to make Piper mad.”
“Okay, that’s easy. Apologize to her.”
“That would be easy if I knew what the fuck I did to make her close up over the last twenty-four hours. And, in the time it’s taken me to try to figure it out, Coach has reamed me for not answering my phone, my teammates have told me they like my temporary replacement more than they like me, and I’ve remembered how much goddamn energy relationships require.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Alana rolls her eyes and checks her reflection in the mirror hanging in the hallway. “You can be so selfish sometimes, Liam. It’s obvious your teammates are fucking with you because you don’t know how to take a joke. Do you really think they want to get rid of the guy who’s been with the organization for years and led the team from a losing record to almost Stanley Cup champions?”
“Maybe they?—”
“And you missed a call from your coach. Big deal,” she challenges, steamrolling past me. “That’s the first time it’s probably ever happened, and you’re acting like it’s the end of the world.”
“It’s my job , Alana, and what I’m paid to do. This isn’t some pickup game on the lake up the street from our house. Four days away has me acting like I’m some rookie who doesn’t understand time management.”
“I see what’s happening.” Lani grins at me. “You’re self-sabotaging.”
I rub my jaw. I hate how her attention makes me uneasy. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It’s something my therapist and I talk about.”
“You go to a therapist?”
She lifts an eyebrow, daring me to make a comment, but I keep my mouth shut. “You don’t?”
Lots of guys on the team go and talk to someone. I’m glad that works for them and I’d never make fun of them for finding an outlet for their stress.
This sport is fucking brutal with the road games and the taunts from fans. Being away from home and spending night after night alone. It can fuck you up if you’re not careful, and leagues don’t give a shit about our mental health.
It’s all about the money to them.
Fuck if one of their star players has a breakdown.
Maybe I should go talk to someone too.
“Go on. Break it down for me,” I say.
“It means you do things that would block your success or prevent you from accomplishing your goals.”
“Uh, yeah, I do do that. It’s why I don’t date. Why I don’t go out and party. Because my goal is to win the Stanley Cup. To be the best goalie in the league.”
“I don’t mean hockey, you big doof. You’re almost thirty. You have a few more playing years left in you before someone younger and better comes along and takes your job. Then what’s going to happen? The girl of your dreams will have settled down with someone who didn’t make her wait or put hockey above her and where will you be? All alone.”
“The girl of my dreams? Piper and I—it’s… sex. That’s all. I don’t want a relationship and I can’t be the guy Piper needs. The guy she fucking deserves. She needs stability. Someone calm who comes home to her every night and worships the ground she walks on.”
“You’re such an idiot and, as disgusting as it is to talk about my brother’s sex life, we both know it’s not just that.” The music in the ballroom starts, and Alana tugs me toward Dad. She loops an arm through mine and an arm through his, watching as the line of bridesmaids head down the aisle. “You’re going to lose that girl, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
The backdrop of the sunset waits for us as we walk toward Harry and the rest of the wedding party. I scan the crowd, looking for a five-foot blonde and not caring about the flower arch in front of me.
She’s easy to find.
She always is.
I spot her in the second row of chairs on the left, a bright smile on her face. Her hands are clasped in front of her, fingers intertwined, and even from here I can see a twinkle of hope in her eyes. I watch her gaze shift from Alana to me, and her smile melts to something different.
Tender, yeah, but hesitant too. Like she doesn’t know what she wants from me, and acid bubbles on my tongue.
Would I be okay hearing about the dates she goes on?
Would I be okay watching her fall in love with someone else?
We’re friends after all, and I’m supposed to support my friends. I’m supposed to be happy for them and cheer them on.
But I really fucking hate the thought of her with another guy.
Alana’s right.
It’s not just sex for me.
It hasn’t been for a long time.
And I’m going to lose Piper if I don’t get my head out of my ass and decide what the fuck I want.
The reception is rowdy.
Music blares from tall speakers, and I escape outside to take a break from the noise. The patio is quiet and empty, and I smile when I hear footsteps approaching behind me.
“You’ve never been stealthy.” I look over my shoulder and smirk at my mom. “Did you forget all the times we’d drink hot chocolate in the kitchen at midnight after you woke me up with your heavy feet?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” My mom grins and walks over to join me. “What are you doing out here?”
“Needed a minute to breathe. You know how Lani is.”
“The life of every party. It’s a shame you have to head home tomorrow. We’ve hardly gotten to seen you.”
“I know. And I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out at Christmas. I shouldn’t go six months without seeing you and Dad, and you shouldn’t be the ones always coming out to visit me. I’m going to get better about that. I promise. Feels like I have so much going on lately.”
“That’s what happens with life. It gets busy, but it slows down eventually.” My mom nudges me with her elbow, and I huff. “Piper’s lovely. Is she having a good time?”
“I think so. From the way she’s dancing in there, I’d say she’s having a blast.”
“It’s good to see you smiling so much, Li. You work so hard and you don’t stop until a job is finished. I know you get worn down by your father and I asking about your personal life, but I want you to know we’d never want you to put yourself in any situation that didn’t make you totally happy. If that’s hockey. If that’s with a woman. If that’s with a man or no one at all, I don’t care. As long as you’re doing what’s right for you.”
“I don’t know what is right for me, to be honest. If I take away hockey, who am I? Some asshole who has a shitty attitude and is easily irritated? I sound horrible.”
“No. You’re a good man with a kind heart, Li, who’s not any less when he’s not stopping a puck. Hockey is always going to be there. Important moments and important people won’t be. Think of all the memories you and your father missed out on because you were on the road with your travel team.”
“Thanks for the pep talk. Haven’t done some soul-searching in a while, and you’re really helping me with that.”
“There’s my smart-ass son.” She tugs on my ear and I bend down so she can plant a kiss on my cheek. “You should head back inside. I’m sure there’s someone in there who wants to see you.”
“I don’t know about that. I think I might have fucked up somehow.”
“So unfuck it up.”
“Whoa, Mom. Easy with the language there.”
She rolls her eyes and does her best to shove me toward the door. I step back into the ballroom, the music still loud and the party still going strong. I look around until I find Piper standing by the bar, a drink her hand.
I scoot past a group of distant cousins and get tangled up in a conversation with my great aunt that lasts way too long. When I can finally free myself, my social meter is fucking depleted, and I want to go to bed.
“Hey,” I say to Piper, and she smiles up at me.
“Hi. I was wondering where you disappeared to. Thought you left for the night.”
“Alana would drag me from our hotel room by my ear if I left without saying goodbye.” I lift my chin toward her glass. “How’s your drink? Do you want another round?”
“I’m okay. It’s only seltzer with lime.”
“Not in the mood to party hard, Mitchell?”
“Not when we have a transatlantic flight tomorrow.” She covers her yawn with a hand and rolls her shoulders back. “But I don’t think I have much energy left in me.”
“You and me both.” The music shifts to a slow song, some love ballad I’m sure Alana took hours to pick. “Kind of feels like the universe is telling us to dance, though.”
“Oh, really?” Piper’s mouth twitches in amusement and she sets her drink down. “It would be a shame to let the universe down.”
I offer her my hand and she threads our fingers together. Her touch is warm and steady as I lead her to the dance floor. I set my palms on her waist and her arms drape around my neck, a natural, easy rhythm to our sway.
“Are you having fun?” I ask in her ear, and she nods.
“Yeah. I didn’t think I’d be down for a destination wedding, but it’s the way to go. Maybe my next one.”
“Tell me how Dickbag McGee proposed to you.”
“What?” She bursts out laughing. “Is that what you call Steven?”
“Mhm. I’ve got a Rolodex of nicknames, Pipsqueak, and the rest aren’t as nice.”
“You’re going to have to tell them to me later.” She lets out a sigh before continuing. He proposed at a work event. There were five hundred people there. I didn’t know any of them. He brought me on stage, said a few things about how much he loved me, got on one knee and showed me the ring. I loved him too, but the pressure from being watched by so many people made me sick.”
“You hated every second of that proposal, didn’t you?”
“I did. It was my nightmare. If I’m ever get engaged again, I want the proposal to be small. Private. At one of my favorite places like the arena or down by the Potomac on a spring day. I’d like to think the person asking me to marry them knows me.”
“Sorry you didn’t get that in Vegas. I’m sure I shouted something at you when we were drunk.”
“I bet I shouted something back at you because you probably deserved it.”
It’s my turn to laugh, and I rest my chin on the top of her head. “Are we okay?”
“Is this another one of your existentialist questions?”
“I meant you and me, Piper. Did I do something to piss you off?”
“No. I needed some time to reflect on a couple of things. I’m okay, though.”
“Are you sure?”
She smiles into my shirt, and I hold her tighter. “Positive.”
I know she didn’t go anywhere, but I missed her hugs.
The way she holds me and runs her hands up and down my back.
I missed her laugh and her smile and the way she blushes when I tease her.
God .
I missed her .
I don’t like a world without Piper Mitchell in it.
The song ends, the music transitioning to a pop hit I don’t know any words to. We step away from each other, and I clear my throat.
“Do you want to head upstairs?” I ask. “We can probably head out since they already did the cake cutting and everything.”
“Only if we say goodbye to Alana before we leave. Your sister likes me, and I don’t want her to get mad at me because you’re trying to be sneaky.”
“Dammit. I was trying to avoid the goodbyes that are going to take an hour. This is going to be the hard way. Sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yes, and you’re going to be okay with it too.”
Piper takes my hand and leads me across the dance floor. We get stopped multiple times, exchanging pleasantries with members of my family before we finally make it over to the bride and groom.
“Piper,” Alana slurs, letting go of Harry’s waist so she can hug her. “You’re so pretty.”
“Wow.” Piper laughs and pats my sister’s shoulder before pulling away. “Someone’s had a lot to drink tonight.”
“I’m trying to get her to go to bed, but she said she can’t be the first one to leave the party.” Harry shakes his head and sighs. “We’re going to be here all night.”
“I got you covered, man. Lani, Piper and I are heading out. Now you won’t be the first one to leave.”
“You’re going?” Alana pouts and glares at me. “But I never see you.”
“I know. We have an early flight in the morning because I need to be back at the arena the day after tomorrow. I’m at fault, but we can really blame the NHL.”
“Fuck the NHL,” Alana calls out, and Piper buries her giggle in my shirt. “Did you two talk yet?”
“No,” I say sharply. “Because everything is okay.”
“Aw.” She clutches her chest. “You’re happy. I’m happy. We’re all so happy. Aren’t we, Harry? The Cutterbucks are so happy.”
“You really drew the short end of the straw with that last name,” I tell him.
“Fucking horrible, isn’t it. Hey, I hope you have a good rest of your season. Lani and I are going to try to come to a game in April.”
“Let me know when. I’ll get you all seats.” I look at my sister and hold out my arms. “Come here, you drunk idiot.”
“I love you, Li,” she says. “And don’t forget what we talked about. Otherwise I’ll kick your ass.”
“I won’t. But let’s stop talking before you say something you shouldn’t.” I kiss the top of her head and hand her off to her husband. “Your threats always mean so much to me.”
With another round of Alana’s tears we finally escape, the lobby quiet as we make our way to elevators.
“Wow. Is that what I was like when I was drunk that night a couple years ago in Canada? When you tucked me in?”
“Yup.”
“And I didn’t drive you insane?”
“Nope.”
“Really?” Piper looks up at me. “I guess you weren’t kidding about tolerating me.”
“No,” I say. Our eyes meet, and it feels like someone stuck their hand in my chest and ripped out my heart. “I haven’t been kidding about anything.”