45. Liam
FORTY-FIVE
LIAM
It’s been a long goddamn week since we got back from Spain.
I feel like I’m going a hundred miles per hour.
Everything has been busy. Nonstop chaos. With the last part of the season underway, our practices are heating up. Coach is pushing us harder than ever, and I’ve fallen asleep the second my head hits the pillow every night.
The only reason I’m going to team dinner is because Piper will be there, and I really fucking miss her.
I’ve barely seen her after touching down on US soil. We pass each other in the arena, but we don’t have time to talk. My routine feels fucked up, and I hope a minute or two with her will center me. Get me back on track, because I can’t afford to be off my game these next few weeks.
I don’t knock on the door to Maverick and Emmy’s place. I waltz on in and take off my coat, adding it to the ones on the rack in the foyer.
“GK,” Riley calls out, and I lift my head in his direction. “About time you showed up.”
“Sorry.” I walk into the decimated kitchen and set the chocolate pie I picked up from the corner bakery on the island. “Had a one-on-one with Coach this afternoon.”
“How’d it go?” He hands me a plate and utensils. “Anything going on?”
“Nah. Same old shit.” I pile my plate with pasta and salad, adding a slice of bread to the mix too. “You good?”
“Not bad. My shoulder is still fucked up from practice yesterday, so I had to spend this morning in Lexi’s torture chamber.”
“Sounds horrible.”
“Could’ve been worse.”
I don’t miss the way Riley smiles when he says Lexi’s name. It’s fucking hysterical he thinks he’s hiding his crush from us, and it’s even more hysterical he thinks any of us would actually make a move on her. It’s obvious he’s into her, and we all know that means she’s off-limits.
“There he is,” Hudson says when I walk into the crowded living room.
There’s a round of hellos and I wave, taking a spot on the edge of the couch on the far side of the room. Settling back, I dig into the Caesar salad, fucking famished.
“Hey.” Piper drops next to me on the couch and smiles. “I was beginning to think you fell off the face of the earth.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble. I’m alive and well.”
“Rats. Guess I can’t get rid of you.” She leans against the pillows and tucks her feet under her. Her thigh-high stockings taunt me, and the hem of her skirt stops just above the lace. I spy an inch of smooth skin I wish I could run my fingers across, and I turn my attention to the video game Maverick and Grant are playing instead of thinking about the things I want to do with her. “How was your day?”
“Tolerable.” I spear a bite of spaghetti and inhale it. “I saw some chicken in the kitchen. Did you make it? Is it edible?”
“No, I didn’t make it.” She rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue. “Hudson did. You missed his ten-minute discussion about the spices he used and what kind of marinade he soaked it in for an hour.”
“Think the guy might food more than he likes hockey.” I shake my head and shovel another bite of food into my mouth. “How was your day?”
“Long, but good. I’m trying to coordinate some player spotlights with our social media team, and that took up most of my afternoon. Before you even try to give me shit, I don’t have you on the list.”
I smirk. “You know me too well. What’s the spotlight about?”
“A get to know you, sort of. I ask rapid-fire questions and the guys answer within a few seconds. We want to do a bunch as we head into the playoff push.”
“That could be dangerous. Don’t ask Ethan anything about hot dogs.”
“Thanks for the advice.” Piper drops her elbow to her knee and smiles. “Sure you don’t want to participate?”
“Nope. I’m all set. You want to go outside and talk when I’m finished with this?”
“How do you eat so fast? You’re almost done and it’s been three minutes.”
“Magic.”
“Yes, I want to go outside and talk when you’re finished with that. I should probably go ahead and get up, because you’re going to be ready to go by the time I put my coat on.”
I scoop the last bite of pasta into my mouth and grin. “You’re already behind, Pipsqueak.”
Ten minutes later, I make my way outside and inhale a deep breath of fresh air. The temperature is tolerable, and I take a seat on one of the chairs on the patio.
“Dammit.” Piper closes the door behind her and frowns. “How did you beat me?”
“Probably the height advantage. It helps. I also didn’t start talking with Grant about the latest TikTok trend. That’s where you went wrong.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“Come on over.” I pat the spot next to me and she walks my way, dropping on the chair and pulling her jacket tight around her. “Are you warm enough?”
“I think so. Unless you have a fire pit in your pocket, I’ll survive.”
“Fresh out of those.” I glance at her and knock her knee with mine. “What’s on your mind?”
“I’m going to come out and say it, and I’d like it if you didn’t interrupt me, okay? I’ve been practicing this in my head all day, and I want to get it right.”
“Okay.” I nod. “The floor is yours.”
“I know when I first came to you about this plan between us, we were going to do our lessons and pretend to date through your sister’s wedding. We also agreed this was casual. That it wouldn’t go anywhere outside the bedroom, but… I don’t want to lie to you, Liam. I… I’ve started to… well, I like you. Not just sleeping with you, but spending time with you doing normal things, too. And I know that goes against your whole no distractions rule, and I’m sorry for breaking it, but I don’t want to sleep with you again without you knowing what I’m feeling and how I’m feeling toward you. Which is that I like you. More than a friend. I know it’s my fault for falling for the emotional side of sex, but… why are you looking at me like that?”
My lips twitch. “Like what?”
“Like your mouth is broken.”
“I think that’s called a smile.”
“No. You look like a creepy clown.”
“Your compliments get better and better.”
“It’s freaking me out and making me forget what else I want to say.”
“What else do you want to say?”
“I… I don’t know what else I want to say.”
“Can I say something now?”
“Only if you stop with the weird smile thing.”
I laugh and rest my hand on her thigh, squeezing once. “I feel like I’m back in middle school saying this, but I like you too, Piper. I have for a while now. Alana gave me a lecture five minutes before she walked down the aisle at the wedding, and I’ve ben thinking about it ever since.”
Piper blinks at me. “She did? What did she say?”
“That I need to get my head out of my ass, and I do. Look. We’ve found ourselves in some weird position where we’ve slept with each other, we’re married to each other, and now we’re realizing we like each other. It’s all fucking backwards, and I’m having a hard time keeping up.”
“Hockey is your priority. You’ve told me multiple times hockey is the most important thing in your life. Anything besides casual will interfere with that, and I could never do that to you. Not when I know how hard you work to be as good as you are.”
I’ve thought about that a lot since I’ve been home.
The balances in my life and what’s actually important to me.
If I never played another game, would I be disappointed?
Yeah.
I’d be pissed off. I’d hang my head. It would take a while, but I’d get over it. I’d move on and find something else to love.
If I never saw Piper again, I’d be fucking devastated.
This week showed me that.
When I’m not at the rink, I’m thinking about her.
Wondering if she had a good day.
Wondering what she was doing.
Wondering if she’s thinking about me, too.
“What we’ve been doing seems to be working,” I say, and Piper blinks at me. “You sleep over. I stop by your place. My game hasn’t suffered because of it. Maybe…” I trail off. “Maybe we keep doing that. Hanging out. Spending time together. We’re not moving in together or anything like that, but I think you’ve become part of my routine.”
“I have?”
“I got my ass handed me to in our scrimmage yesterday. Haven’t played that poorly all year, and the only thing that was different is that I haven’t seen you in six fucking days.”
“I shut down at the rehearsal dinner because I was looking for some sort of validation from you when I voiced my fears. You don’t owe me any of that validation. It’s not your job to make me unafraid, and I’m sorry for keeping you out.”
“What do you want me to do, Piper?” I cup her cheeks, and there’s a hitch in her breath. “Yell out that I can handle you? I can. Tell you that it doesn’t matter if you think you’re a mess or too difficult or too quiet or not enough because I think you’re everything in the world and more? It doesn’t, because I do. I want you in ways I’ve never wanted anyone else, and it’s driving me fucking insane.”
“Oh,” she whispers. “I-I want you in those ways too, but you’re going to have to go slow with me, Liam. I’m terrified. I’m still working on trusting people and feeling like… like I’m allowed to have these things for myself.”
“You know how I feel about going slow.” I rest my forehead against hers. “Let’s try. Let’s see how this goes when we don’t pretend it’s something it’s not. It hasn’t been lessons or teaching or anything like that for me in a while, Piper. I sleep with you because I want to sleep with you, not because it’s part of some sort of agreement obligation. It’s why I’m here tonight. Because I like spending time with you, and because you’re my best friend.”
“You’re my best friend, too.” She lets out a watery laugh. “Okay. So we’re not fuck buddies. We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. What are we?”
“I don’t know. Living in the moment? Which is something I never fucking do, so you’re going to have to be gentle, Pipsqueak. This is new territory for me.”
“I told the girls about Vegas,” she blurts out.
“I’m surprised you lasted so long without spilling the beans. They better send us a gift.”
“When were you going to tell me about confronting Charlie at the season ticket holder event?”
“I didn’t think you wanted to know he was trying to start shit.” I shrug. “It got handled, and he won’t be messing with you again.”
“Are you going to swoop in and take care of all the people who talk shit about me?”
“What if I do? Would that be okay?”
“Yeah.” Piper drags her fingers down my jaw, and I savor her touch. I crave it, want more of it. “I think it would be.”
I don’t know who the fuck I was kidding.
I couldn’t stay away from her if I tried.
I’m clueless about how to do this right… whatever the fuck this is. I’m not sure.
Only that I want to do it with her.
I leave dinner first and Piper follows behind me. I wait for her downstairs in the garage and we drive back to my place holding hands like it’s the easiest fucking thing in the world. We talk about our week. I laugh at a joke that’s painfully unfunny, but she’s so fucking cute, I don’t even care.