Chapter 19
19
Kit
L iam chased the two kids over to where their parents were set up with umbrellas, coolers and tons of sand and water toys, including rafts that looked like unicorns and those minion things from the movies.
Tess looked after them with something like longing. “You want to go over there?” I asked.
“We weren’t invited.”
“Did we invite them to come over and look at shells?” I asked. “Or did Rodney and Sarah just come over and say hi?”
“They just said hi,” she said.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” I said, watching as Liam said hello to the parents and then posed for pictures. One of the pictures had the two kids climbing all over his back.
I watched that gray t-shirt stretch over his muscles and his white teeth flash in the sunlight and I thought:
He knows.
He knows the truth about me now.
Across the twenty feet of sand that separated me from Liam, I could feel him. Just like I had that night in Nashville. Like a magnet. He was all I wanted to look at. When he touched me, I only wanted more. Of his touch. Of him.
Liam looked up and waved us over. “You want to go over and say hi?” I asked Tess again, who quickly nodded.
“We’ve been invited,” she said. I wondered if she was such a stickler on manners or if this was a confidence thing. She trotted across the sand in front of me. The hem of her sweatshirt all damp from where we’d knelt in the waves, riding up on her back.
I caught up to her and pulled the sweatshirt down, taking note of the cutest back dimples I’d ever seen.
“Hi!” I said as we approached the family, who reached out to shake our hands. Liam introduced me just as Kit and Tess just as Tess and it was an obvious conclusion that we were a family.
“Would you like a drink?” the mom asked me. “Or some food?”
She reached out with some of those expensive little cheese balls that came in red wax, and Tess, who never met a cheese she didn’t like, took one.
“My kids say you’re gathering shells,” the mom said, shading her face with her hand. “And you’re going to classify them?”
“Yeah,” I said with a little laugh. “We are going to get a book on shells and figure out what kinds are on this beach.”
“That’s amazing,” the mom said. “I was just going to sit here and read my book. Make sure they didn’t drown.”
“Kit is going to be a school teacher,” Liam said and I stiffened. Embarrassed maybe.
“I’m not even in school yet,” I explained.
“But you’re going to be,” he said confidently. Like he knew me well enough to make such a bold statement. “That counts.”
Would it be so weird for Liam to know me? Maybe he knew things about me I’d forgotten about. Things I’d barely had a chance to understand about myself before I had to shut it all down. Focus on the task at hand.
We all said our goodbyes and the two kids made promises to meet Kit on the beach tomorrow morning for more shell collecting. The family, it turned out, was renting one of the cottages in the cul de sac.
Liam, Tess and I turned and walked back across the sand.
Liam reached out and palmed Tess’s head, giving it a little shake. “I feel like ice cream, anyone else?”
“Yes!” Tess cried.
“No. It’s ten o’clock in the morning,” I said. Someone had to be the adult.
“It’s vacation, babe,” he said over his shoulder.
The babe hit me like a ton of bricks. I expected to hate it. But I loved it. He winked at me like he knew it and challenged Tess to a race. They were off before I could be mad.
I followed behind them wondering if I could just…let go for the next week. All the hard edges I’d gained in the last few years. The cynicism and fear. If I could just put it away and... have fun?
That overwhelming sense of freedom returned.
Was it possible? Was I a person who could have fun? Or had my dad stolen that from me as well as all my money?
Liam made a big show of tripping on a root in the sand. He cartwheeled onto the sand, reaching out with his arms trying to grab Tess’s feet.
If anyone could show me a good time it was that goofball right there.
I watched as he stripped off his shirt and shook off some of the extra sand, with his back to me, it was impossible to miss. He also had those back dents, right above his butt cheeks. My first thought was, I couldn’t wait to trace my fingers along those dimples.
But my second thought…I shook it off.
It had to be just a coincidence.
Liam
We got ice cream. But only after lunch. We went back to the bookstore.
Because.
That’s what I was told when I suggested we’d already been there.
We stopped by the grocery store so Kit could grab ingredients to make dinner. And because it was vacation, I got a bottle of wine and some beer. When we got back to the beach house Kit poured herself a glass of wine and went to work on something in the kitchen while Tess and I sat down at the chess board.
“Okay,” I said, rubbing my hands together. “I’ve been studying and I won’t make it easy on you.”
“That’s what they all say,” Tess said.
“Is that…” I cocked my head, looking at the five-year-old with her shirt on inside out. “Are you trash-talking me?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh, kid, don’t hand a professional athlete locker room material. It’s on.”
She beat me quickly the first game, but I made her work for it the second game. By the time she finally got my king, Kit was standing in the doorway, hair a frizzy mess around her flushed face.
“Okay. It doesn’t look like Antony’s pictures in the cookbook, but it’s pretty delicious,” she said. “I think.”
We gathered around the table and she put down a platter with what might have been fish? Or maybe chicken?
“It’s tofu,” she said. Tess clapped her hands. I was down for anything that made that girl clap. I could sneak out and get a cheeseburger later if I needed to.
The tofu was covered in herbs and bright pink pickled onions. There were lettuce cups and a bunch of sauces to go with it. She showed us how to make little lettuce tacos and Tess and I took a bite.
“Hey!” I said, pleasantly surprised. “That’s really good.”
“I know, right?” Kit said, each of us had our mouths full.
“It’s yummy,” Tess said, putting more hot sauce on her lettuce and tofu taco.
“You converted me,” I said. “I’m a tofu guy now.”
“Well, Antony Renard did the work.”
“Antony Renard is not here,” I said. “This is all you.”
She blushed like she was delighted but also embarrassed. She wasn’t used to me complimenting her. She was only ever used to me being a dick to her.
That was going to change. Big time.
But there was also something about her that had changed since this morning. Like she was letting just a little bit more of herself shine. She smiled more easily. Laughed more easily. She fucking glowed. She finished her glass of wine, ate a bunch of lettuce tacos, and sat back, smiling.
“Go sit down,” I said to her after dinner. “Tess and I can do the dishes.”
I topped off her glass and sent her out to the screened in porch to relax. Tess and I cleaned up the kitchen. When Tess started yawning I went and turned on the shower for her because the hot water was tricky.
“I’m too tired for a shower,” Tess moaned. As a rule the kid was not whiney, so I knew she must be exhausted.
“Trust me, you’ll be glad you showered when you don’t have any sand in your bed,” I told her. Because she was a logical and smart kid, she agreed and took a quick shower before brushing her teeth and putting on her pajamas. I was tucking her into bed – the bottom bunk, which she wanted to argue about forever - when her iPad rang.
“Mom!” She said, holding out her hands for the screen.
I answered the call before it dropped and smiled at Janice’s face when she appeared. “Hey there Janice,” I said. “How are you?”
“I’m good!” She said, but her smile was tired. “How are you doing?”
“It’s been a good day,” I said. “Ice cream and the beach. Can’t go wrong.”
“I…I’m so grateful Liam. Honestly, you’ve gone above and beyond.”
“No problem. Tess and I are buddies.”
“And Kit?”
I heard the way she said Kit’s name and I shook my head. “She’s been a Godsend.”
“I can imagine,” Janice said. “She seems as smart and caring as you said. You just never said she was gorgeous.”
“Didn’t I?” I asked with a wink.
“Tess, let me talk to Liam for a second. In private,” Janice said.
I held up a finger to Tess letting her know I’d hand over the iPad in just a second and then I stepped into the hallway for the privacy Janice wanted.
“What’s up?” I reached up and straightened a framed needle point that said. Family is nice, but have you tried peace and quiet?
Dillon’s grandmother had a sense of humor.
Janice shook her head. “I know this isn’t any of my business, but my kid is there, so the rules are different,” she said and took a deep breath. “Do you really want to go there with Kit”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, with a laugh.
“Listen, I know you think you do casual.”
“Think?” I was the king of casual. I did casual better than anybody.
“Casual is breaking up with someone and never seeing them again. You know what isn’t casual? Breaking up with someone and giving them a job.”
“That’s just…” I didn’t know what that was outside of nice. Really.
“It’s behavior from a man who has spent his life trying to make other people feel as little pain as possible. You know why I broke up with you?”
I blinked. “Did you break up with me?” It seemed like she kind of just…left.
She laughed. “I totally broke up with you. Because I wasn’t going to watch you tie yourself into knots trying to do the right thing or be the right person when I didn’t need it.”
That didn’t sound like me. I wasn’t an asshole, but I didn’t think we were that serious. I hadn’t planned on changing for her. Or anyone really. It’s why I was the king of casual and selfishness and short-term flings.
“You’re a good guy who wants to do the right thing, but all you’ve done is create one giant family where you take care of everyone. At tremendous expense to yourself and I’m not just talking financially.”
I laughed, because that was ridiculous. I lived alone and was trying to get my half-brother to talk to me. And Wyatt and I were a thousand miles away from each other all the time. My family was tiny. I had more money than I needed, who cared what I spent it on?
“Honestly, Janice, you’ve lost me a little bit.”
“If you do this thing with Kit, she’ll just be another satellite in orbit around you, and something tells me that wouldn’t be good for either of you. I’m just putting it out there,” she said. “Now let me talk to my daughter.”
Kit
I could hear the soft rumble of Tess’s and Liam’s voices in the bedroom as I washed out my wine glass and set it on the rack to dry. Part of me was tempted to go in there and see what they were talking about. We’d had such a good day and if we were debriefing about it all – I wanted in. I heard Tess laugh and I took one step towards the hallway and her bedroom, but stopped myself.
Even after our discussion on the beach today, I still needed to remind myself of one very important fact.
All of this was temporary. Even if something did happen with me and Liam - and I wasn’t so na?ve to think it wouldn’t happen – I’d had a hard time not being attracted to him when he was a jerk. Now he was going to be Charming Liam? Fun Liam? Good with kids Liam?
Pretty much all hope was lost that he wasn’t going to find his way into my panties eventually.
Then what happened?
Let’s see, if his pattern held true, we would date maybe a couple of weeks. Then he would end things before anything got serious. He’d be the nicest ex-boyfriend ever. Would probably give me some kind of job to prove there were no hard feelings, and if I knew him, he’d find a way to help me pay for college.
If I let myself get swept up in him, in his looks and his easy-going attitude and the way I felt when I was around him, I might even be tempted to stay. To be what… his dog walker? He didn’t even have a dog, but Liam was the kind of guy who would get a dog just to keep an ex-girlfriend from getting her feelings hurt.
Not that I was an ex-girlfriend yet. That was my choice to make. If I was going to even be his future ex-girlfriend.
Liam stepped out into the hallway. He wore a thin t-shirt that clung to his shoulders and a pair of old shorts that ended above his knees. He filled that hallway in a way that was weirdly comforting. He was solid. Big. He could protect a person if they needed protecting. I remembered the way he curled that big body over mine…
“Kit?” he said, looking up at me from the far end of the hallway.
I realized I was standing barefoot in an old dress I’d put on, and I had a hand pressed to my stomach. I was staring at him.
“You okay?” he asked and took a step towards me.
Liam walked towards me, all those muscles shifting and coiling. That look on his face like he meant business and that business was me and my body. I was a deer and he was a wolf. He didn’t stop until he was right in front of me, his stomach against mine. I could feel the muscles of his thighs press into mine. Our bare toes touched.
“You want me to kiss you?” he said, and I was silent. The words locked in my throat, behind my pride. Buried in my fear. His eyes traveled over my face, like he was taking note of my wide pupils and my parted lips. The heartbeat pounding in my throat.
“I can see how much you want it, Kit.” He brushed his finger over my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra and his touch through the thin fabric made me gasp.
Fuck it. I am doing this. Five years of denial and I was going to gorge myself on the creamy sugary deliciousness of Liam Locke.
I was ready to be his future ex-girlfriend.
“Kiss me already,” I said.
He shook his head. “Remember what I said?” he asked, his hands in fists at his side like he was physically stopping himself from touching me. I felt his restraint like a thrumming electricity in the air. Every breath I took, I lifted towards him like my body was taking this distance between us into its own hands.
I shook my head. At this moment, drunk on the nearness of him, I couldn’t remember my own name.
“I said next time, you had to kiss me.”
I stood there breathing. Waiting. Surely, he would break. Surely, he would do what I couldn’t seem to force myself to do. What we both wanted.
“Not ready yet? Because you’re still not sure you can trust me. That’s fair. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for a really long time. Good night, Kit,” he said and walked away.