Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WELLS
Spiraling doesn’t even begin to cover what I’ve been doing since Halloween. I kissed Kellan. I kissed him like I was starving for his taste.
I was so pleased and turned on and… fuck–so enamored with every single thing about him that I couldn’t stop myself.
And all that makes me wonder is what the hell is wrong with me? Am I that much of a masochist?
Now, he’s looking at me like he’s wrapped around my finger. It should be everything that I want. I can use him. Abuse him. Shatter him into pieces that he’ll never be able to put back together.
I can destroy him–just like he destroyed the younger version of me. No wonder he doesn’t recognize me. I’ve done everything I can to wipe the traces of that terrified, lost kid off the face of this earth.
Except that all I can think about is how good his skin feels against mine. How his big hands are surprisingly soft, and he’s using the lightest touch like he’s cradling a small animal.
How, every time I see him, he becomes less and less like the monster that I remember. If anything, I’m the monster between the two of us. The one with a hidden agenda and ulterior motives.
But I can’t tell him the truth. I won’t come close to admitting why this started, and why pushing it further is dangerous for both of us.
I shake my head to buy more time, trying to come up with the right explanation. Something to placate us both.
“Look, I know that getting a good cock can change a man, but you’re really taking this to the next level.” My flippant admission causes his hand, which has been rubbing small circles against my arm, to still.
His eyes turn fiery. “You think that just because you act like a dick, I won’t remember how you bit your hand to stop from screaming out on Halloween?”
“Kell-”
He cuts me off. “Or how when you kissed me, you ran your fingertips along my jaw to keep me close.”
He needs to stop. His words are making me want to get down on my knees and worship his cock the way I’ve been thinking about for days, but I know that it wouldn’t be for my power.
It would be for his pleasure. And that’s the scariest thought I’ve ever had.
“Why won’t you let this go?” I plead, hating the sound in my voice. It reminds me too much of my younger self.
“Because I like how you make me feel,” he volleys back, moving his hands so that he anchors my hips with them. Energy rushes through my veins as his fingertips skim under my sweater.
“A selfish lover. Big surprise.” A weak comeback, since we both know that isn’t the case. He was perfect last weekend, and we both know it.
His hands move around to my back, encircling me. And even if I don’t lean into his touch, I can’t find the willpower to push him away, either. “I like how making you feel makes me feel, too.”
I look down at him, hoping one of us comes to our senses soon. His lips are slightly parted, irises blown wide as he continues to trace a light pattern along my spine.
“This is a bad idea.” But my last bits of resistance are floating away when he splays his big hands across my back.
He gives me the most beautiful, slightly crooked smile, looking up at me like I hung the moon. “Not from where I’m sitting.”
I should be thinking about revenge. I should be thinking about the million ways that I can punish him. But instead, all that keeps running through my mind as his fingertips press tenderly into my skin, is that Kellan O’Reilly is nothing like the man that I thought he was.
And I have no idea what I’m going to do about it.