9. Alexie
9
ALEXIE
Over the next couple of days, I spend more time with Caia. I choose to melt my iron guard and open up to her— we go to an indoor rock-climbing place and out to dinner.
I’m surprised by how much I enjoy these moments with her. I mean, it probably should be a no-brainer, considering Caia is a beautiful and confident woman with a sharp sense of humor. And is extremely flirtatious. Not a second goes by where I don’t feel like she is ogling me as if I’m a steaming platter of her favorite food and she’s waiting to feast.
Am I the beef cake that she’s craving?
She would be more than a good first time in bed, though. Her personality leans to the exploratory side, which pushes my Russian reserved habits. I find that every day is an adventure by her side.
To her, dreams are just memories that have yet to be activated— quite philosophical and we spend some time speaking of famous Russian philosophers like Kavelin and Dostoyevsky, something I wasn’t sure she’d be into. We freely chat and laugh about our inspirations like we’re sitting on the top floor of a Wall Street skyscraper— everything feels in grasp, nothing is impossible when I’m with her.
With her, it’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Time feels too short when we start to go home. Once we’re at the apartment, she starts off to the bedroom.
“Goodnight, Alexie,” she purrs. “Sweet dreams.” Her back faces me.
I gulp down nerves that bubble inside of my throat. “Caia…”
She pauses at the doorway to the hall and whirls around.
“Yes?” She perks a curious brow.
“Can I…” I swallow hard. “Can I kiss you?” Heat flares up my skin. I brace for the worst, for anything but what I desperately desire.
Caia purses her lips, stills for a moment before she sprints into my arms. I stumble back when she jumps into my embrace, planting her lips on mine.
She tastes decadently sweet, a lingering of the piece of chocolate cake she had for dinner. I could lick her lips all day and swirl tongues with her with how delicious she is. I lift her over my Adonis muscles, and she locks her legs behind me. My hands cup at her ass, digging my fingers into the suppleness.
This isn’t just a kiss, for how passionate it feels. This is a connection… a meeting of the minds and bodies.
I can’t believe that I missed sight of what was right in front of me.
I swear one of us is going to pass out if we don’t part.
She leaves first, panting. “Now that was a kiss!” Her tongue slithers across her lips. “Fuck, Alexie.”
Oh, I hope to.
A grin stretches my cheeks as my cock pulses.
Suddenly, Caia’s mouth goes wide. “Oh, my god… wow.” My bulge rubs against her and the leggings she’s wearing don’t leave much to the imagination. I can feel my cock pressing into her smooth flesh, separating her lips and cupping me.
But can I go all the way?
There’s only one way to know and I’m ready to find out.
Taking the lead, Caia grinds against my grey sweatpants that hang low on my hips. By the giant smile on her face, she’s pleased by what she’s feeling, letting out a loud moan. “Please, Alexie. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you on that ice. I need you.” Her raspy voice turns me on even more.
“There’s something you need to know.”
She wiggles to be let down. “STI or STD?”
A chuckle slips past my lips. “No. I took a ninety mile an hour puck to my testicles when I was young and I’ve had… issues… since then.”
A faint smile creeps up her face. “Honey, whatever it is, we’ll work through it. I promise, I’m here to help you, however you need me to.”
My cock grows even harder when she tells me that. She’s so understanding.
Fuck! How did I luck upon a woman so amazing? And why do I deserve her?
Mystery in her eyes, she pulls on my hand to lead me into the bedroom. “You might want to call in sick tomorrow. We’re going to take our time.”
“If you say so.” I follow behind her like a lovesick tomcat.
In the bedroom, Caia takes time to light candles and fluff the covers. I lean back against the door frame and cross my arms on my chest.
She undresses staring me in the eye, her every movement a seductive dance. My heart knocks against my chest wall faster and faster. Soon I struggle to maintain some semblance of composure. I want this woman, more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone before. I try to push that troubling voice in my head down, but fear gnaws at the cracks that have been there for over a decade. A constant companion since that fateful day when the puck left me with more than just a scar.
She approaches me, her eyes filled with warmth and understanding. Taking my hand, Caia leads me to the bed. She looks down at our hands and I’m sure she can feel the dampness from my anxiety.
Moving into me, she sighs. “It’s okay, Alexie.” Her lips brush against my ear. “We'll take it slow. No pressure. No timetable. No one else here but you and me.”
Her touch and gentle words help to ease some of my apprehensions.
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. I want slow, but I also crave the wild uninhibitedness that comes with passion. I want to lose myself in us, forget my fears and doubts and become a new man. A better man for her. The man she truly deserves.
Caia lies down on the bed, her naked body inviting me to join.She looks like a Grecian goddess with her curly hair spread around her head. Her smooth skin sparkling in the flickering candlelight. Every inch pristine... except for one two-inch scar near her belly button. My eyes stay there. It is true that no one is perfect, but this only makes her more precious to me.
“I have secrets, too,” she says softly, and my gaze meets hers.
“Are you okay?” My body chills thinking of her having an illness.
“I had ovarian torsion when I was fourteen.”
My eyes narrow and I shake my head that I don’t understand. I know what an ovary is, but torsion and putting them together?
She bites the inside of her lip. “That’s a twisting of the ovary that limits blood flow. My right ovary basically strangled to death, and they had to remove it. Very rare at that age, but it is what it is. Probably similar odds as the puck to you. I only have one working ovary now. Doctors say that I should be fine to get pregnant.”
Her eyes widen quickly. “Not that we’ve ever talked about that or am I looking for it to happen anytime soon… or at all!” Every word is frantic.
“Caia, it’s okay. I’m glad you’re telling me. I know how hard it can be to tell someone you care about that you could have health issues.”
She lets out a long cleansing breath. Her smile could light up the room. “But it might take a little longer than normal to get pregnant.” She puts a hand there as if she doesn’t want me to see it any longer. I pull it back, leaning over and kissing the puckered skin.
“Beautiful. Just the way you are.”
“Now, it’s your turn. Take off your clothes Winter Wolf.”
My cock takes notice of her calling me that. It’s like my alter ego is taking over. My wolf has always been the animal inside of me, wild and aggressive. It’s the part of me that does all the winning on the ice. He’s calculating and cunning, and I wonder if that part of me can be a compassionate and eager lover, too.
The flickering candles cast a warm glow that adds to the seductive atmosphere. The air is thick with the scent of vanilla and lavender. I’m going to assume Caia’s been in this position before, and I’m actually thankful for that.
My heart races as I take in Caia lying on the bed before me. I never imagined that I would have someone so understanding and so beautiful want to be mine.
As I strip my joggers and pull my T-shirt over my head, my desire builds. That volcano inside of me, dormant for so long, is now ready to explode.
My mind races with thoughts of the scar that’s on her. She’s faced something painful and has come out with a smile. Then why have I been so affected by my past trauma? I always assumed it would make me an unfit partner, not worthy of love. But looking into those St. Petersburg sky eyes, I’m seeing a future that eclipses any thoughts of what I can’t be and only cements what we can be.
I join her on the bed, the tension in my body slowly melting away. Caia’s soft kisses and caresses make me forget everything else but the present moment. I get lost in her, savoring every touch and sensation. Our bodies writhing against each other, heating and teasing me.
Despite feeling vulnerable, I also have a sense of peace and contentment being with Caia. She understands me like no one else ever has, and I want to open up to her in ways I never thought possible.
As we continue to explore each other’s bodies, I allow myself to let go of my fears and give in to a growing need. And for the first time since my accident, I feel alive again.
Caia’s touch is electric, igniting a fire within me that I thought had been extinguished that horrible day. Her hands explore every inch of my body, sending shivers of pleasure through me. She doesn’t push me, just allows us to learn each other’s bodies. I spend time memorizing every curve and every plane. I can't believe how much she makes me feel, how much I want her.
I hear myself gasping in surprise as my cock swells at her touch. It’s been so long since I let a woman touch me, and I honestly wasn't sure if this moment was possible anymore. But here I am, responding to Caia in ways that leave me amazed.
“Oh fuck! So much happiness,” I whisper in Russian, unable to find the right words in English to express what I’m feeling.
Caia smiles at me, her eyes filled with understanding and love. She kisses me softly before whispering, “I need you too.”
I lose myself in her kiss, reveling in the sensation of her lips on mine. Tongues tangling and rolling, not unlike how our bodies move together. Our passion grows until we are both consumed by the need to be connected.
In this moment with Caia, nothing else matters. Not my fears or insecurities or past traumas. All that exists is this intense connection between us. This is just the beginning of something beautiful between us.
I reach to the end table and grab a box of condoms, but it’s not the ones I’ve bought in the past. “What… the…”
“I had hope,” she says with a shrug.
I cackle a laugh. “And XXL…” I peak an eyebrow. “You had high hopes.”
She reaches between my legs. “And I wasn’t wrong. I remembered how hung you were when you walked through the hallway.”
“When you broke into my apartment?” I ask, teasingly.
“I had a key, and you left the door unlocked. As management, I was just making sure you were… okay.”
She strokes my cock confidently and I moan.
I’m fucking okay right now.
I groan, “’Kay, I forgive you.”
She laughs. “I thought you might.”
I suit up with a condom and settle on top of her, just outside of her body.
“Ready?” I ask, feeling more confident than ever.
She gives me the nod. The soft, warmth teasing me to join with her. Her muscular leg wraps around my ass and guides me in. Her pussy envelops me in a cocoon.
“Fuck… yes!” she rolls her hips and basically tops from the bottom.
Two can play at that game.
I start thrusting slowly, but it feels so good, too good.
Oh, shit.
I’m going to hold out. I’m going to make this for her. She’s the one who’s helped me and now I get to give her what she wants most.
I drive deeper.
“Oh, God…”
That’s right, I am.
“Give it to me, Caia. Come for me.”
She pulls my face to hers and when our lips meet, her pussy pulses around my cock. She whimpers and I keep rocking in and out.
In seconds, I’m at the point of no turning back. My body stiffens and a blast of heat surges through me. I truly believe I momentarily black out. My life has never been more perfect or special. And this woman is mine.
I roll off of her, disposing of the condom.
I pull Caia close, burying my face in her hair as we both catch our breath. I may not have all the answers or know where this relationship will lead, but right now, with Caia in my arms, I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
Her head rests on my chest, and I can feel her soft breaths against my skin. I never thought I would experience this kind of closeness with someone.
But as much as I want to bask in the afterglow and let myself feel happy, a sense of unease creeps over me. Caia’s love for me feels like a weight on my shoulders, and I can't seem to shake off the doubts that linger in the back of my mind of whether this is for now… or forever.
“Alexie,” Caia whispers, looking up at me with a vulnerable expression on her face.
“Yes, my sweet?” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady.
“I love you,” she says, her eyes filled with sincerity and affection.
My heart clenches at her words. I want to tell her that I love her too, but something stops me. The fear of opening myself up completely holds me back.
So instead, I close my eyes. It’s not that I don’t love Caia — I do — but it’s easier to hide behind this fa?ade than face the terrifying reality of truly loving someone and then having them taken away.
As Caia snuggles closer to me, her fingers tracing patterns on my chest, I can't help but wonder if we can make this sham of a marriage work. Can we truly be happy together when there are so many obstacles in our way?
I push those thoughts aside and focus on the present moment. Right now, Caia is here with me, and for this brief moment in time, everything else fades away.
I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer to me before giving in to exhaustion and drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Maybe tomorrow will bring some clarity or answers about our future together. But for now, all that matters is she is mine.