Chapter 6
6
brIAR
I wish I was in the position in my life where I could hide away under the covers and mourn for days.
I’ve already licked my wounds more than I should have, and I knew it was only a matter of time before Clover came to pull me out of my nest by the hair.
Well, what I call my nest but she considers a pile of clothes and flat pillows with lumps of feathers built in the corner of my bedroom.
“It stinks in here,” she declares, hovering at the entrance of my hideaway.
“No it doesn’t.”
“I almost expected to find you dead. You know, since you haven’t responded to any of my messages or calls in five days.”
“Well, I’m not.”
My voice is scratchy and sore, dull.
It exposes the emotions roiling around in my head.
The same ones I’ve been drowning in the last few days as I hid from the world.
I got lucky to not be called into work at all.
Clover knows as well as I do that regardless of what I’m struggling with, the one thing I’ll never do is turn my back on another omega in need.
What we do is too important to let my focus sway.
Even if I’m suffering what feels like a heartbreak but without the broken relationship to go along with it.
Clover drops to a crouch in front of the entrance of my pathetic attempt at a fort and surveys me and my surroundings.
I push back against the wall away from her when a vicious protectiveness springs to life inside of me.
It’s not so much in defense of this place, but just .
. . myself.
Tears burn my eyes as I bury my face in my hands and curl tight around my knees.
This is far from the first time I’ve cried over what happened in the restaurant last week, but I wish it were.
I wish I hadn’t shed a single tear over the embarrassment I felt or the mortification at the realization that the only alpha who has ever had that much of an effect on me ran at our first meeting.
I’ve tried to reassure myself that the situation was just really bad and that it had nothing to do with who I am as an omega.
That only made me cry even harder because I knew I was lying to myself.
It had everything to do with me, and that’s the worst part of it all.
Clover sighs softly, and I lift my head enough to watch her reach a cautious hand into the nest, offering it for me to take.
“Please don’t bite my hand off, sweetie. I kind of need it for work,” she murmurs.
The immediate change in her tone startles me enough for my spiky energy to smooth a bit.
Without crawling out completely, I scoot forward on my butt and take her hand.
Her warm brown sugar scent welcomes me closer before wrapping all the way around my body.
“I’m not a birthing omega,” I mumble.
“I know.”
“So you don’t need to use your ultra-special soothing powers on me.”
She rolls her eyes and tugs me closer, forcing me out of my cocoon.
“You make me sound cooler than I am.”
“That’s because I wish I could do what you can.”
“You do just fine without any ‘ultra-special soothing powers,’” she says, using air quotes with her free hand.
It’s rare but not unheard of for an omega to have a scent that’s able to soothe those in distress.
Clover is just the only one I know who has that ability.
We don’t quite understand why some scents were crafted a bit more special than the rest of them.
“Tell me what happened, Bri,” she encourages, bundling me up beneath her arm.
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
“It’s that bad?”
I dig my elbow into her side.
“Just promise me.”
“Fine. I promise I won’t laugh.”
“It’s over with Greg.”
She takes a few moments to reply.
“Why would I laugh at that? I’m sorry. What happened?”
“That’s not the part I was worried about. It gets worse.”
“Alright . . .”
I groan, slipping out from beneath her arm to sit across from her instead.
Her curious gaze lacks judgment, at least.
“I don’t know what I was even doing with Greg in the first place. He’s a terrible alpha, Clover. Literally the worst. You should have heard what he said about working,” I rant, some of my self-pity transforming into anger.
“Let me guess. Did he say that because you’re a beautiful omega, you shouldn’t work once you’ve mated his pack? Staying home to take care of the kids is so demure and oh-so mindful, right? Fucking puke.”
“That’s exactly it, actually. I told him that I liked my job, and he said, ‘Well, it’s not like you went to medical school and have that much to lose by giving it up.’”
Clover gasps, her entire expression hardening to stone.
“What a lard-for-brains, misogynistic asshole. As if your job is any less amazing because you didn’t spend a million years in medical school.”
“I know. And I’ve never wanted your job. My heart has always yearned to give comfort to those in need of it. Getting elbow-deep in a cervix isn’t my personal calling. It’s yours.”
“I’m glad you’re done with him. But keep going. Don’t leave anything out.”
I divert my eyes, unable to look at her as I say, “Alright. After he told me that he didn’t imagine me working once I was in their pack, I left to go to the bathroom. I got close to it when I smelled something.”
“Something . . . bad? Because you were about to go into the bathroom?”
I crinkle my nose.
“No, it wasn’t like that. The smell wasn’t bad. It was amazing. God, amazing isn’t even the right word. He smelled like a dream. Like I’d tripped on my way to the bathroom and woke up in a custom-made paradise. I all but ran after the scent, and the next thing I knew, I was ruining everything,” I ramble, emotion clogging my throat at the reminder of everything that happened.
I’m still so out of whack.
With every mention of my mystery alpha, somehow, I continue to get worse.
More out of control.
Something happened to me that day, something that I can’t help but be fearful of.
“He?” Clover asks, her tone softening once again.
“He as in an alpha? One other than Greg?”
My heart clunks around in my chest. “Yeah, an alpha. Not Greg. This one was—I don’t know how to explain it exactly. I felt dainty in front of him, like he could have crunched me beneath his foot if he wanted to. I’ve never met an alpha that big before. Not just in height but strength and energy. His dominant vibes were smothering, and he spoke all of ten words to me.”
“And he smelled incredible?”
“Better than anything I’ve ever smelled before. I could have bottled it up and kept it with me all the time.”
“I’m still not hearing the embarrassing part, Briar.”
“Which part should I start with? The whole tracking his smell through a restaurant like a dog part or the smashing into him and causing his dinner to go all over the both of us part? I also can never forget about when I started pawing at him to try and clean him up before ripping a tablecloth off a table full of more food and dishes and using it to wipe the spaghetti sauce off his face.”
Clover winces, her lips pressing together.
I rub my temples and nod.
“I’ve never been more mortified. He stood frozen and let me make everything worse before telling me to go away.”
“He told you to go away?” she asks, brows knitted.
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. Then he ran out.”
“Could you tell that he thought you smelled even half as good as you thought he did? Did he have any claiming marks? Was there a pack somewhere nearby?”
I feel my throat growing tighter with every question.
“No. If anything, I think he thought my scent was disgusting. There weren’t any marks from what I saw, but I wasn’t really paying attention. The only thing I wanted was to go back a few minutes and not plow him down while actively fighting the urge to jump onto him.”
“I’m sorry, Briar. I know how badly you want a pack.”
“For a second, I thought—” I cut myself off, shaking my head.
“You thought you’d found your scent match,” Clover finishes for me.
“Maybe.”
Despite the distance I’ve put between us, she invades my space and pulls me into a hug.
My breath catches in my chest at the comfort, needing it more than I thought I would.
“Don’t lock yourself up and hide because of one shitty alpha. Or, well, two, I guess. Maybe he had walked by someone on his way to the restaurant and gotten their scent on his clothes,” she suggests.
I nuzzle my cheek into the crook of her shoulder.
“I wish I had been more conscious of what was happening. It was like my brain switched off and my omega instincts were the only things controlling me.”
“And you’re sure he didn’t react to you at all?”
“Unless disgust counts, no.”
“Well, you deserve a better alpha than one who would leave you standing all alone in a restaurant anyway.”
“And preferably one with a pack,” I add weakly.
“I couldn’t smell anyone else on him in the time we were close.”
“Exactly. We don’t settle for the bare minimum here, Briar.”
“Never.”
“But in all seriousness, I do want that for you. The whole pack life,” she says with a steady hand stroking my back.
“Even after what you just went through?”
“Especially after what I just went through. My time in a pack may have gone up in flames like a dry field in the summer, but it was great while it lasted. There’s nothing quite like it, babe. And you of all people deserve a life like that.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“You’re welcome. But I’m not going to let you sit here and wallow for much longer. We’ve got three meetings this week, including one with a new omega.”
I lean back, glancing at her as my curiosity sparks.
“Who is she?”
“Sadie Clark. Her brother called me yesterday asking if we had any availability.”
“What day is the meeting?”
“Wednesday. This one might get intense.”
“Is she on the run?”
Clover eases out of the outskirts of my nest and stands.
With the new information, I’m eager to follow suit.
“As far as I know, there’s a restraining order in effect for the two members of her old pack. The pup is theirs, and her brother was adamant that Sadie wants neither of the alphas anywhere near them during the birth.”
And this is exactly why Harbour of Hope is so important to me.
The OB/GYN clinic Clover and I opened last year is accepting of all omegas in and around Rayton, British Columbia, but with an emphasis on those who may need extra support and are fleeing dangerous situations.
We contract security for situations where it’s required and offer support and medical help to those who have nowhere else to turn.
It’s a project I hold close to my heart and isn’t one I plan on giving up anytime soon.
“I’ll be there,” I swear.
Clover grins. “I figured you would be.”
“Do you want to stay for dinner? We could order something.”
“How about you come to my place so I can make you a real meal. You look like you could use it, and I’m betting your fridge is empty.”
“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not,” I say, tucking my chin to stare down at my outfit.
Yeah . . . it’s a bit rough.
Maybe I do stink.
Reading my mind, Clover gives me a gentle nudge toward my open bedroom door.
“Go shower. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
My legs are weak when I wobble my way out of the room.
I offer my best friend an appreciative smile before ducking through the doorway.
“Thank you, Clover.”
She waves me off, mouth tipped at the corner.
“Thank me by returning to the land of the living.”
“Done deal.”
Starting tonight, I’m going to go back to how my life was before I ran into that alpha.
It should be easy enough. Right?