Chapter 47
47
LANDON
I’m pacing in the living room when Ronan’s bike roars through the neighbourhood.
Jasper sighs, having been watching me for the last half an hour from his spot on the couch.
I continue to ignore him like I did while I was reading on my phone earlier.
“Pacing isn’t going to make them get inside any faster. This is Ronan, Lan. He wouldn’t have let anything happen to her.”
I wave him off.
The garage door opens, its low hum making my blood pound in my veins.
Jasper’s wrong about why I’m pacing and struggling to keep myself busy for the last hour.
I trust Ronan with my life and Briar’s.
I’m antsy because I miss her.
My omega has me so out of my head that when she’s gone for even a few minutes in the day, I’m a pacing, anxious mess.
I want nothing more than to avoid everything I’ve ever loved doing just so we can stay together all the time.
It’s dangerous.
“Don’t overwhelm her when she gets inside, Lan. Let her take a breath,” Jasper adds.
I whip around and stare at him in disbelief.
“How do you handle it?”
“Handle what?”
“I’m all fucked up. There’s this emptiness inside of me when Briar’s gone, and I don’t know how to fill it. It’s almost worse now than it was before. That’s why I’m being like this. Not because I think Ronan’s going to let her get hurt. I just need to keep busy so I don’t get stuck in the gym working myself to death because I’m struggling being without her.”
I’ve been there too many times.
It’s not a healthy outlet for me when I bring myself to the brink of passing out every time.
I can’t do that shit anymore.
As if Briar would allow me to.
Jasper leans forward, his elbows digging into his thighs.
“I get it, Landon. It’s like that for all of us, but with you being pack leader, I’m assuming the intensity with which you feel that yearning is stronger. At least until we’re all bonded with her. How has the rejection sickness been? Have you been sleeping? You look more rested than you did before. Regardless, I think we should get a doctor’s opinion to make sure you’re okay.”
I stop moving and blow out a fast exhale.
“I’ve been fine. Better. I sleep the longest after I’ve seen her.”
“And the doctor? Can we make an appointment?”
“I don’t need a doctor to tell me that I fucked my body up when I turned away my omega, Jasper. That’s the last thing I need or want.”
“They wouldn’t say it like that. It would just be helpful to get confirmation that nothing’s wrong on a biological level,” he reasons.
I shake my head. “I’ve already spoken to the team doc. He says I’m fine. Every one of my symptoms were textbook, and they’re gone now.”
It’s not a total lie.
He did say that I’d be fine, but no, they’re not all gone yet.
My energy is back up, and my knee is finally starting to heal properly.
It’s my restless nights and stubborn knot that’s more of a concern.
Both of which I didn’t bring up to him.
My perpetually swollen knot has made everyday tasks harder than they need to be.
I know I’m risking a rut every day I don’t give in to the instincts screaming at me, but I’d rather suffer than push Briar into a situation we’re not ready for yet.
“Other than the irritability,” Jasper mutters.
“You’re making me irritable. It’s not the rejection sickness,” I snap.
“I’m not your enemy here, Landon. I’m your packmate, and I just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“I’ll be fine once she’s here with us.”
Jasper rolls his lips and nods, sinking back into the couch.
“Alright.”
“I’m inviting her to our game tomorrow,” I say, changing the subject.
“We better play well, then.”
“That won’t be a problem.”
Not with the reminder that she’s there watching.
And this time, I won’t be focusing on pretending she’s not there.
I want her there, watching me play alongside my packmates while wearing our colours and last name.
Jasper doesn’t have a chance to add anything before Briar’s voice floats through the house.
I move in the direction of the back door, barely managing to keep my head on straight.
“I need to get ready for bed.”
“Or you could let me take you to the nest just like that,” Ronan rasps.
Briar giggles, sending sparks up my spine.
“I don’t know if the others would appreciate that.”
“Appreciate what?” I ask the moment they step into view.
The question is pointless once I smell them.
My vision goes dark around the edges as I palm the wall beside me, a groan trapped deep in my chest. The teeth-achingly sweet lemon scent has been swirled around in caramel.
Their combined scent tells me everything I needed to know.
“Are they home?” Dash asks, his footsteps pounding down the stairs behind us.
I stare at the torn fabric of her shirt as it peeks out from beneath her leather jacket before focusing on the swells of her naked breasts.
The lace tights covering her legs have been twisted, and her skirt .
. . fuck. It’s shifted higher than it was when she left.
The flared hem hardly reaches her upper thighs.
“They’re home,” Jasper confirms, his voice scraped raw.
I curl my fingers into a fist and push it so hard against the wall I’m surprised it doesn’t go straight through it.
“What happened to you?” Dash asks them.
Ronan looks at Briar, his eyes dark and brimming with secrets he’ll never share.
“We went to the beach.”
Our beta cocks his head as he inspects Briar and smirks.
“Did you get into a fight with a shark, Bright Eyes?”
“A lady never tells.”
“He ravaged you.” My voice shakes with restraint.
She meets my gaze, her cheeks pink.
“I returned the favour. And now . . . I’d really like for all of us to go up to bed.”
“Together?” Jasper’s surprise is a shared reaction.
I hate the moment she looks away from me and to him, but it’s hard to be upset after being offered a place in her bed.
“If that’s something you’re all comfortable doing?”
“I’m surprised they haven’t run up already,” Dash jokes, dragging a knife through the tension that’s built.
Ronan scoffs and starts leading Briar out of the back entrance and toward the staircase.
The rest of us follow easily.
Dash has gotten more comfortable around Briar, and I know that more now than ever when he continues to joke with everyone, looking like his old self.
His happiness shines through even further when he asks, “So, do you have sand up your ass, Ro?”
“Landon!”
I zone back into the game when Coach shouts at me and shakes my shoulder.
The sweat dripping from my brows and down the back of my neck is a reminder of where I am.
Just like I do every time I’m on the bench, I breathe through my mouth to avoid the overwhelming scents of the other players around me before shoving my mouthguard back in.
The second line plows through the Chicago zone and spreads out.
I look away and up at Coach.
“What do you need from me?”
“I need your head here on the bench instead of in the stands.”
“I’m more zoned in today than I have been in months.”
It might seem backward since Briar’s only a few rows behind our bench, but it’s the truth.
Having her here tonight is different than it was the last time.
The only thing I’m focused on tonight is impressing her and showing her why I’m the best player in the league.
It wouldn’t hurt to play like a team tonight, either.
We’re her pack, and I want her to be able to trust in our commitment to not only her but each other.
That’s the sort of stability we all need.
“You’re one away from a hat trick,” Jasper states from my right side.
Adrenaline scorches my blood.
“I want it.”
“You’ll get it. We’ll do whatever you need us to to make it happen,” he swears.
“Does she look impressed?”
“With you?”
“With us.”
“Fuck, here it comes. Lovesick fools,” Coach says with a dramatic whistle before focusing on the tablet that’s handed to him.
I ignore him and lean forward to grab the boards, prepared to jump back onto the ice any second.
Jasper does the same but leans close to me.
“She’s been shaking all the ribbons off the pompom Dash gave her.”
“Good.” My grin is wide.
“Let’s make her even happier, Lan. One more goal and we’ll get to take her home.”
I look at our net and where Dash is squatting low, the blade of his stick caressing the ice in short, arched movements.
His smile is loopy, the light colour of his eyes even brighter than usual as he stares behind the bench.
The shift in him has been incredible to watch.
I’ve felt the bond between the four of us strengthen and grow and at times become so overwhelming that I have to separate myself from them just to catch my breath.
I wouldn’t have believed that it was possible three months ago.
Instead, I thought we were going to wind up completely shattered.
Nodding at Jasper, I wait for the second line to start filtering in before hopping over the boards and skating onto the ice.
The temptation to look at Briar is a constant gnaw in my gut, but I focus on the game and use every inch of my drive to give her a show she’ll remember.
Ronan stays on the ice once Jasper and I have skated over and takes his spot guarding Dash as possession changes.
Suddenly, our goalie is locked in.
He tracks the puck through his custom blue mask and sinks lower into his squat.
I filter through the players clogging our zone and attempt to block the passes that come close.
Ronan plays his position with an ease that makes him an incredible addition to the league and successfully steals the puck from a Chicago player.
Anticipating this, I’ve already shaken two defenders by the time the puck hits my blade, and I take off down the ice.
The blue line disappears behind me, and then Jasper’s there, carving up the ice beside me.
My breath saws in and out of my lungs.
The fans are loud, and I give in, darting my eyes to the seats behind the bench.
I tell myself it’ll only last a second.
One look and I’ll be able to focus on the game.
Only once I catch sight of her standing amongst sitting fans, I can’t look away.
Wearing a Riptides jersey with the C on the shoulder, Briar waves her silvery-blue pompom in the air and screams my name.
My heart goes wild, smashing against my rib cage like it’s pissed it can’t plop onto the ice.
I’m close to where I want to be now.
I move the puck to the middle of the tape on my blade and shift my body to block the Chicago player when he attempts to move around me.
Briar’s eyes grow wide, and I know what’s going to happen before it does.
Anticipating the hit, I spin as much as I can and pass the puck off to Jasper.
It’s a perfect pass.
Tape to tape like we’ve practiced and pulled off a million times.
I shoulder the player and block his path when he tries to go for Jasper, buying my packmate a chance to use his speed to find an opening.
He doesn’t hesitate, and a heartbeat later, I watch in awe as he flicks the puck off the ice and buries it in the bottom left corner of the net.
The arena screams as the blowhorn blares, and Jasper hits the boards, a gloved hand raised in celebration.
I skate toward him and smack the back of his helmet.
The rest of the Riptide players on the ice join us before Ronan congratulates Jasper with a smack on the ass.
My chest warms, content with how the game has turned out.
There are a few minutes left, but I’m not worried.
My confidence is in this team and my pack and the future we’re building.
A hat trick suddenly means nothing.
I was just a fool to think this wasn’t possible for me.
This time when I look into the stands, I don’t care how long I stare for.
Briar still hasn’t sat down, and her enthusiasm is a fucking sight to see.
We’ve made a hockey fan out of her after all.
She blows me a kiss and wiggles her fingers in a dainty wave.
I return the kiss but don’t bother trying to wiggle my fingers in my gloves.
When I point at her, the omegas seated around her turn to stare, but she doesn’t give them any attention.
It’s all on me instead.
And there’s no better place for it.