Chapter 18 #2
My eyes snap to his. Wide. Shocked.
“I’m sorry I threw that at you.”
All I can manage is a nod. My mouth is dry. I hear ringing in my ears. My eyes are sucked into his midnight sky.
He leans forward again and kisses my forehead. My fingers grip his hair and I move in closer. I tilt my head as though I could nuzzle into him, as though I could crawl into him and curl up in his chest. I want him to be as connected to me as I am to him.
He inclines his head, eyes searching. A silent question.
And I nod my response.
Then his lips are on my cheek. His hand slides around to the back of my head, and he cups my skull.
We’re so close. So latched on to one another. Like neither of us wants the other to pull away.
Jasper drags his lips along the top of my cheekbone, his stubble rasping over my skin, dotting it in tiny fires that I never want to put out .
He kisses the corner of my jaw and when the tip of his tongue flicks out, I moan. Shamelessly. Desperately.
He tugs me closer. His strong arm wraps around my waist, and he clamps me to him.
“Jasper,” I whisper.
In response he fists my hair and tugs my head to the side, dragging his hot mouth down and then back up my neck. I squeeze my legs tighter on him, hearing only the pounding of my heart in my ears and the deep groaning sound that vibrates from his chest.
“I can’t ever lose you,” he growls.
“You won’t,” I reply quietly, right as the tip of his nose traces the shell of my ear.
“I might.”
“Nev—”
Before I can say never , he cuts me off with, “Because I think I’m about to fuck everything up between us.”
And then he kisses me.
His lips mold to mine and his fingers weave into my hair as his grip turns soft.
I go still with shock—utter disbelief—and when I do, he stops, pulling away as his warm palm slides down over my throat to look me in the eye.
“I’m sor?—”
I cut him off by launching myself back at him. And he doesn’t miss a fucking beat.
He doesn’t kiss me like a friend. He kisses me back with equal fervor. He kisses me like he wants to consume me.
And he does.
His hands are hot brands on my body, touching and squeezing in places I’ll never forget. His lips are warm and firm. He’s gentle but he commands me. He tilts my head the way he wants it. He sets the pace for our languid kisses until he takes on a more demanding pace.
Until his tongue slides into my mouth and his teeth nip at my bottom lip.
And me? I turn to putty in his arms. I’ve been lost to him for years, but today in a quiet truck, in the middle of a snowstorm, I let myself get lost in him.
He takes and I give.
I take and he gives.
I roll my hips against his and he groans out, “Sloane.”
The hand in my hair tightens, and I feel the dull burn of him tugging against my scalp. His opposite hand moves lazily down my rib cage, coming to rest at my hip, long fingers splayed casually over the curve of my ass, his thumb rubbing against the outline of my thong.
Everything is slow. Achingly slow. So representative of us in so many ways. But there’s also an edge of desperation in us both.
A hard bite to every movement .
My nipples pebble. My heart pounds. My body is alight. My hips roll again.
This time the hard length of him presses back. I whimper, aroused and relieved all at once. I’ve spent years thinking Jasper Gervais couldn’t want me, but right now his body tells another story.
And so do his words.
“Sunny, you’re gonna make me lose my mind.”
“Good,” I murmur against his mouth. “We’ll be insane together. I’m so tired of doing it alone.”
I’m ready to tear his clothes off and impale myself on him, here and now. I’m crazed. I feel more drunk than I did last night.
I kiss him again, pouring all the frustration and longing into him. And he gives it back tenfold. He bowls me over and steals the air right from my lungs.
And then he pulls me away. With one hand tight in my hair, he angles my head up to him and peers down at me. His eyes flit around every corner of my face as he assesses me.
He reads me like a fucking book and then tells me something I’ve longed to hear.
“You’re not alone. I’m right there with you.”
I let out a breath so big that my body sags when it leaves me.
“But this isn’t the time or place. It’s not safe. And you are too fucking precious to take chances with.”
Fuck my safety. If I died riding Jasper Gervais in the driver’s seat of this truck, I might be fine with that. What a way to go. Out with a bang, so to speak.
“When is the time and place?” I breathe out instead.
He ghosts a kiss over my damp, puffy lips and guides my ear to his mouth. “When I say so,” he rasps.
A shiver wracks my entire body. When I pull back, his eyes are dark again and they land on my lips, then my breasts, before roaming back up to my face.
He cups my head softly. “I’ll be right back. I need to check the brake attachment so I can get us back down this hill. Buckle up, just in case.”
I nod and he lifts me, depositing me in the passenger seat effortlessly.
He’s out the door and into the blowing snow without another word.
And I sit here, dumbstruck, hoping he’s okay. And taking an inventory of all the things it did to my body when he said, “When I say so.”