Chapter 24
Sloane
Summer: I can’t stop crying. I’m so relieved. We’re sending hugs back to you.
Willa: I’ll hug Cade for you if you bang Jasper for me.
Sloane: When I bang Jasper, I’m banging him for myself.
Summer: Ooooooo!
Willa: Possessive. I like it.
Willa: Wait. Did you say WHEN?!
I ’m happy and rung out all at once. I’m back in a huge truck, but this time, Violet is behind the wheel. I’m sitting in the front passenger seat, and all three of her closest friends are in the back.
Billie, who has a knack for making us all laugh, proclaimed that unloading hay is a “boy” job and we should all go get wine to drink straight from the bottle. She’s a bit scary if I’m being honest.
She’s like Willa.
On crack.
Then there’s Mira with her black hair, keen eyes, and a knowing smirk. I feel like she knows all my deepest, darkest secrets just by glancing at me.
And Nadia, who’s a little younger, is so beautiful I can’t stop staring at her. It’s like she strutted right off a Victoria’s Secret runway and onto the farm.
They chatter happily in the back while Violet and I sit in a companionable but stunned silence up front. It’s like I didn’t realize how much tension I was carrying over Beau until the weight lifted.
Now I’m hit with a full-body exhaustion that stretches from the tips of my fingers to the ends of my toes. I could sleep for a week.
“You okay?” Violet glances at me, high ponytail flipping over her shoulder as she does.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “Just so, so tired.”
“You guys had a long journey.”
“That we did. ”
Long doesn’t even begin to cover it.
A smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “I always wondered when you two would notice the other.”
My head flips to her. “Pardon?”
“You and Jasper. You’ve both been so in love with each other for so long.
I saw that hug. Plus, I saw the look on his face that day when I first spilled the beans about your engagement.
And on your wedding day?” She snorts. “I think he was looking for a reason to barge in there and break you out. Poor emotionally stunted idiot that he is.”
I just blink, mind whirring. “He’s not emotionally stunted.” I always jump to defend Jasper, no matter what.
Violet hits me with a sidelong glance. “Yeah, he is. I married one of those, so I know them when I see them.”
“Wait,” Nadia says. “Aren’t you guys cousins?”
Mira’s finger waves back and forth. “No. He’s the adopted brother.”
I see Nadia’s smile in the rearview mirror. “Fuck. That’s hot.”
I groan but don’t get a word in edgewise before Billie pipes up. “You should fuck him.”
I can’t help but laugh. My body shakes with it because this scenario is just too much. Emotions are too high. I’m delirious.
Violet laughs too. “Billie, that’s always your advice.”
“I tried,” I say from behind my hands because hiding while I admit this feels easier. “He said we needed to talk first.”
“But something happened?” Violet can’t hide her curiosity. She always was the chatty girl-talk type.
“Yes.” I lower my hands, staring at the roof of the truck. “Something happened.”
Billie hums thoughtfully from behind me. Like she’s about to offer profound advice. “You should demand he fuck you.”
I snort, and a different type of tears well in my eyes. They’re the good kind that come from laughing and trying to hold it back. I glance at the rearview mirror into the back seat.
“It worked for me,” Mira says with a feline smile on her lips.
“Ew. Don’t tell me these things about my brother, please.” Nadia turns away and stares out the window, a look of exaggerated disgust on her face. “You could do what I did and just drive him insane until he snaps.”
Billie pipes up again. “No. Pull a Violet. Just send him nudes.”
Violet doesn’t shy away from Billie’s statement like she might have when she was younger.
Instead, a proud smile touches her face as she drives down the snowy road until we pull up to Neighbor’s Pub, the most run-down bar and liquor store I’ve ever seen.
A flashing sign advertises “COLD BEER AND WINE!!!”
Exclamation marks and all.
It feels suitably dingy for the updated version of me I’m working on.
I like it already.
“Or just do what I did and make him so jealous he loses his mind, bangs on your door, and then bangs you on the kitchen counter,” Billie adds.
I laugh harder, so does everyone else, and warmth flickers in my chest. I’d love friendships like this in my life. I think I could have them with Willa and Summer.
When we pile out of the truck, moods lighter from cracking jokes about my hot mess of a personal life and flaming dumpster fire of a friendship slash relationship slash lifelong crush turned who the fuck knows what, I ask, “Do you think they sell Buddyz Best Beer here?”
“Fuck yes, they do,” Billie calls over her shoulder as she heaves the wooden door open.
Suddenly I don’t feel so bad about everything anymore. Everyone I love is safe and content. Violet has a happy little crew here. They found Beau. Things between Jasper and me are messy right now, but...it’s us.
We always end up back together somehow.
We just need to stop fighting it.
Mira’s husband, Stefan, cooked us a massive, gourmet meal. Over dinner everyone in Billie and Vaughn’s expansive house clearly shared my feeling of relief .
Vaughn cracked jokes that lightened the mood considerably. Cole and Griffin were quiet but friendly. The sense of family between all the friends warmed my heart. Wine flowed easily and so did the conversation.
The dining room windows look out over the pristine farm, and all the kids have crashed out in the enormous, sunken living room while a Disney movie still rolls on the screen.
It’s cozy and comforting, and I can tell this group of people gets together like this often. There’s a level of comfort between them I want to curl up in, but I still feel slightly removed from it all. I’m still an interloper here.
It just isn’t Chestnut Springs.
I keep peeking at Jasper across the table from me, wanting to see him smile, wanting to see him looking relieved and happy after weeks of seeing him look devastated.
He’s not wearing a cap tonight, and it makes it so easy to see every expression that touches his face. I want to know he’s okay, but I still quickly glance away when his eyes lock on mine.
My cheeks heat and my spine tingles, and my brain plunges me back into last night when he slid his fingers between my legs and made me come harder than I ever have.
I told him so much and he told me so little. He still held back and that stung. I’ve always felt like I’m his person, his safe place to let it all out, but in the past couple of days it’s come to my attention that he still keeps so much locked up tight.
He hasn’t told me everything and that shouldn’t matter. We all have those secrets, I guess.
But it does. I want to know. I always want to be the person who knows the most about him. That’s always been the one thing I’ve had with him that no other woman can claim.
I might not know his body. I might not have memorized all his tattoos. But I know his heart. I’m intimately familiar with all the pieces of it he’s given to me over the years.
But they aren’t enough.
I want the rest of it too.
When a lull in the conversation hits, I stifle a yawn.
Violet, sitting beside me, pats my knee. “Tired?”
I nod. “Yeah. Think I’m going to pack it in for the night.”
“Okay. I took your bags to the little A-frame cottage near the creek. That way the kids won’t wake you at like five in the morning.”
“Perfect.”
Billie leans over and whispers in my ear, “That cottage has become known as the Love Shack around here.”
Violet gives her an unimpressed look. “That’s what we called it when you and Vaughn lived there. ”
Billie holds her hands up in surrender. “Right. I’m just saying there’s good ‘fuck me’ juju in there.”
I push to stand, smiling at their antics, but freeze and glance down at the sassy brunette. “Wait. Is this the kitchen counter place?”
She shrugs with a knowing grin. “I’m a clean freak. Don’t worry. I sanitized it.”
I roll my lips together to keep from barking out a laugh, but Jasper draws my attention from across the table. “I’ll go with you.” He nods to the men at the other end of the table. “Thank you for dinner. It was excellent.”
There are hugs and goodnights, but they all blend into the heavy pounding of my heart because within minutes it’s just Jasper and me walking on a quiet farm under the dark night sky.
We’ve been here before.
In the dark together.
But it’s never felt quite like this.
Jasper enters the code into the lock on the door. The tension between us is so thick right now that neither of us even laughs about that code being 6969. I’m tired and wound up all at once.
We step inside and I toe my shoes off, keeping my eyes trained on the floor. I showered and changed at the main house when we arrived but haven’t been into this cottage yet.
It’s a cozy open concept with exposed wood beams. I assume the flight of stairs leads to a bedroom. Or bedrooms? I’m not sure because it doesn’t seem like there’s enough space for more than one.
But no one even asked us about that. So either there are definitely two beds or my cousin and her friends are playing matchmaker in the fucking Love Shack.
“Cute cottage,” I say absently as I look around.
Jasper’s tightly corded back strains against the navy T-shirt he’s wearing as he pours himself a glass of water from the dispenser on the fridge. I take a moment to ogle the broad expanse of his shoulders, his posture always so immaculate, and the way it tapers down to his waist.
To that round hockey-boy butt.
I tip my head up and stare at the ceiling, all wooden planks and cross beams. Industrial wrought iron light fixtures and a fan hang above me, a funky contrast to the Persian rug beneath my feet. Cushy leather couches face the tall A-frame windows.